Dear Katie,
For heaven’s sake, it’s only been 8 months. Not 8 years. Get a grip. 8 months is nothing. So why are you having an inner hissy fit about not being pregnant already. Don’t you trust God’s perfect timing? Don’t you want to enjoy what you have right now? Don’t you know that there are women out there that wait YEARS and YEARS to get pregnant? Don’t you know that thinking constantly about it doesn’t make it happen any sooner? You knew that there was no guarantee that it would happen right away. There are no promises about pregnancy. It is wild. It is a mystery in it’s own way. And wild mysteries don’t follow directions.
I mean, if you really REALLY want to make it happen…then do something about it…then let go and let God. Buy the stupid ovulation kit. Go find a obgyn that you trust. Talk to your loving partner in life. Pray. Silently dwelling on it does nothing but make you upset. And stop being envious every time you see a pregnant girl. It’s awkward to stare. And stop snapping at everyone who asks you if you are pregnant yet. You were the one who opened your big fat mouth about pulling the goalie…and people are just interested in you…they care and may have nothing better to talk about.
God knows your heart. He knows what you want before you even want it. He knows what is good for you, and what is better for you. He knows what you can do, what you can manage, and why you need to experience this. His timing is perfect…not yours. He did invent time after all. And He also knows that you are pretty darn horrible at being patient. But don’t you think that the God whom gave you your love, your son, would also want you to stop focusing on what you don’t have and start appreciating the things you do? You have so much. so so much. Don’t you think that He knows it’s hard? He made you. He built you. He knows exactly what makes each cell of your body tick. But you will never get today again. You will never get to repeat now. So do this moment. Do your heart out in this moment.
And as much as you might say it, Will doesn’t need a little brother or sister right now…he needs you. He needs your attention and your guidance. He craves it while you are distracted with thoughts of someone that you don’t know yet. Enjoy him. Take all those lost moments and bundle them up and give that gift to Will. He will get way more out of that present than you think. The real gift will be your presence.
All that to say – it’s okay to want another family member. It’s okay to want to give your love to another. It’s okay to dream about it. It’s okay to make plans. Just remember that you are in a plan right now. It’s just one you don’t have all the details to yet. And for heavens sake, stop peeing on sticks. It’s getting expensive 🙂
xo – katie
Aw. I’ll send a prayer your way. Great post. It is hard to trust God’s timing. I hear He’s never early and He’s never late.
Side note: they sell pregnancy tests at the dollar tree.
Hi Katie,
I don’t often comment, but I read your blog every day. I have been praying for this for you, but know exactly what you are going through. I was married a little over a year ago and we “pulled the goalie” that day. I figured it would happen immediately, and was very disappointed when it didn’t.
I have peed on more strips than anyone would have considered humanly possible. After about 6 months, I broke down and bought an ovulation test and figured that was the cure, but no luck – essentially just another strip to “mark.”
My hubby and I had agreed to not take any drastic measures until after a year of trying and about halfway through month 10 of trying, I couldn’t take it anymore. So I told him I was going to make an appt with an obgyn to check things out. My appointment was about a month later, and when I went in we began some tests and were waiting for results.
During all that was happening I forgot about worrying and taking tests! We went away for a weekend, and upon getting home I noticed I was late! I took a test and got my first two lined result! We let the doc know that we didn’t need any of the results, because we had already set the seed before our first visit to see him. He said that it happens alot.
People stress when they are trying and when they finally give up trying and relax, it happens. I’m sure you have heard this many times for those around you. It will happen for you and your wonderful family. We are now just over 9 weeks along, and not telling anyone yet, but I wanted to shar my story. Now relax, enjoy the moment and have faith. Your in my prayers and I wish your family all the best!
Kelli
Beautifully written! Just a little perspective, my friend just got pregnant after over seven YEARS!! No one knows yet, hence the anonymous, but can you imagine?? SEVEN YEARS!! I have other friends struggling as well – one for six years, another for over four so far…..Just give your son a hug…..and keep smilimg! We are the lucky ones!!! That said, I am not minimizing your struggle…..I know it’s hard….. but keep your chin up!
Take a breath and relax. Just enjoy the trying, Don’t make it into work bc thats when you lose your mind.
Good Luck!
You are so brave to be so honest and transparent with your readers. I guess that’s why we love you! You are absolutely right that it’s okay to hope and dream of another baby. And longing to be pregnant again doesn’t make you ungrateful for Will. You can grieve a loss (your stinking period) and be thankful at the same time. God’s cool like that.
I’ll say a little prayer for you, Katie.
Thanks for reminding me about God’s perfect timing.
Amen! God is control.
Katie,
Thank you for this post, I felt like you were writing it to me. I have a 10 year old daughter, went through a divorce and now have been trying to get pregnant for over a year with no luck so far. I’m also 36 and feel like my biological clock is clicking away…
I agree with every single word you say but I also understand that it’s hard. That it’s a huge challenge to relax about the whole thing trust God and his timing….and it’s hard being envious of pregnant women or parents with chubby little babies. Oh well, I don’t have a lot of words of encouragement but just a big thank you for writing this and to let you know that I’m right there with ya!
Same story with me…I stressed, stressed, stressed! When I finally “gave up” and decided to put trying on hold for a while, I got pregnant. Think about all the things that being stressed can do to your body…you are sending the wrong message to every cell you have! Relax Katie, and keep taking your multi-vitamins! Btw, “pulling the goalkeeper” = best sports analogy EVER! ha ha
Most OBGYN’s will not offer fertility assistance unless you have tried unsuccessfully for a year. So find an OBGYN you trust and schedule yourself for a visit 4 months from now. Put it on your calendar and then forget about it and enjoy the next 4 months with your 2 boys. This way you know you have a plan but in the mean time you can just have fun.
Best of Luck! I will keep you in my prayers.
A timely post and good reminder for myself. I’m in the horrible two week wait after my first round with hormone injections and a procedure that will hopefully result in a pregnancy. It’s so hard to be patient and realize that this is out of my hands right now. I want so badly to control it, but at this point, it’s just God (and a lot of hormones).
As my husband keeps saying, be kind to yourself during this time. It’s really hard to be here.
Praying for you today Katie. God’s timing is something I often struggle with too. Your post was a good reminder to me that God is in control and His timing is always best! So thankful for your honesty, once again!
Years down the road this will all make sense. God works in mysterious ways and sometimes through unaswered prayers…Garth Brooks said so 🙂 Now I’m going to wrap my arms around my screen and want you to do the same…virtual hugs!
Just remember that God also made reproductive endocrinologists (or made the people who would becomes Res–you know what I mean). Not that you’re there yet, or ever will be. But it took 4 IUIs and 3 IVFs to get my first miracle son. Relaxing would have done nothing for me. But I hope it does for you girlie! Loads of baby dust to you (and all those other cheesy things that *could* make you smile). It’s OK to want another so so so badly…your little man knows you love him always.
Katie,
Thanks so much for posting this. I needed to read something like this today. For over a year, my husband and I have been trying to start a family and lately, I have been so frustrated and overwhelmed by it. All of the “What are you waiting for?” and “Give your parents a grandbaby already!” comments are hard to take sometimes.
But, reading your letter is a great reminder to put it in God’s hands, to pray and to let God decide the timing. I can’t thank you enough for posting this- it’s just what I needed to hear! 🙂
Katie,
I read your blog daily and love it…you have great taste, you are so creative and your family is adorable. Although I’ve never commented before, I can relate to what you’re going through. I’m about the same age as you and it took me 6-9 months to get pregnant with both of my little boys. One thought…I know that you have previously mentioned breastfeeding Will. Are you still breastfeeding? My OB told me that it in some cases breastfeeding can make it more difficult to get pregnant even after everything is back to normal, if you know what I mean. Just a thought. Hang in there and it will happen!
Amen girly! Best of luck in your efforts to be patient, I know that’s rough. God really does make this work for His good, so focus on that!
2 words: DOLLAR STORE… their pregnancy tests are just as accurate as the $10 ones… in fact, they’re the same ones we use in the hospital!
Back in April, after to trying for almost three years, my specialist told me that I most likely will never get pregnant again. It was hard to accept but soon I realized I am already blessed with a beautiful healthy little boy who is more than enough. Like you said, he doesn’t NEED a little brother or sister. My husband and I decided to just enjoy what we do have instead of what we do not. It was very freeing.
Fast forward to right now, I’m almost 26 weeks pregnant with a little girl, a complete surprise, so it does happen, sometimes when you least expect it.
Katie
I understand your timing is essential. But I think your body needs time/strength from you first baby. In my country, the government recommends 3 years gap between two kids for the mother to recover from pregnancy and breast feeding. But mothers usually breastfeed 2 years though. I know that you breastfeed your baby which is a great thing but you need to give time to your body to rebuild all that energy to get ready for the next one. Don’t worry someone is watching your health.
Sara
Love you, Katie B! You remind me of me: you’re very hard on yourself 🙂 Thanks for the reminder to live in the moment. Also if you really want another ‘family member’ and you’re ‘not picky,’ I’ve got a 12 year old and if she smart mouths me again I’m putting her on craigslist. haha. ha.
((hugs)) It’s so stressful when pregnancy doesn’t happen when you want it to. God is in control, but that doesn’t always take the stress away. I’m diagnosed infertile, it took a lot of time, money and medicine to get pregnant with my son. But it was totally worth the wait.
8 mths is completely and totally normal, it can take a perfectly healthy couple with perfect timing a year to get pregnant. You are totally normal.
If you’re wanting to do a few more things to try and increase your chances I can recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It bascially teaches how to pinpoint ovulation to make sure your timing is correct. There are different ways to do that, if you choose to chart I can recommend FertilityFriend.com to help. It’s online, easy and free. I can also recommend EarlyPregnancyTests.com for ovulation and pregnancy tests. Way cheaper then at the store, and work just as well.
I’m not suggesting that you need to do anything differently than what you’re now doing, just wanted to pass along some of the resources that have been shared with me, in case you were interested.
I’m not going to say “relax and it will happen.” That always made me want to throat punch someone. I will tell you that it will happen one day, only God knows when, and when it does you will say it was totally worth the wait.
Prayers
Sorry to add another note here besides my dollar store one above 🙂 I have had the joy of being the mama to 1 beautiful little girl who is 18 months old. Precious, wonderful, love of my life! We had been married over 3 years (without using ANY contreception during the entire time) before we got pregnant. We haven’t used any since then either… But right now my husband and I are in the process of adopting 2 kids from Uganda!! I promise you, we could not be more excited if these babies were in my belly growing!! We have the same anticipation and joy we did with our pregnancy… and that’s saying A LOT! hehe 🙂 We have never had any real fertility issues per say, at least none that have been diagnosed, but I also don’t think we’re the most fertile couple in the world, obviously. I would challenge you Katie, and the other women here who so badly want to be mom’s to consider and pray about adoption. There are 147 million orphans in the world who God loves deeply. Plus the fact that it’s a beautiful picture of our adoption into God’s family because of Jesus 🙂 Please understand I’m not taking away from your struggles or trying to nigate the way you feel. I’m not at all, and I think that pregnancy is a beautiful and wonderful gift from God…. I’m just saying that it’s not always what God has for every family or necessarily His method for bringing every child into a family. Praying for you all!! xoxo 🙂
Hey Katie,
I can relate. My husband and I have pulled the goalie for 2 year and have been trying hard for over 1 year for our first child. No luck, and through all the tests I’ve had done everything is just great! It is good but also frustrating because it is out of my hands as to what happens. I also believe God has a plan for all of us, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept that our plans are different. Keep trying and enjoying what you do have!
Hi Katie,
I had to tell you that I love when you do these letters. I just had my first son 4.5 months ago and I’m already thinking about #2 (just waiting for Hubs to get on board). I have already been thinking about all the things you said and we haven’t even “pulled the goalie” yet! My husband tells me that our son is the only one of our kids who will get us all to himself & he’s right. So I’m going to be patient for my baby boy. We’ll make him a big brother one day but for now I’m savoring having just us. Best of luck & hang in there. It’ll happen when the time is right. You’ll see. Your life right now is just as it’s supposed to be.
Hi Katie,
Waiting can be so hard. Patience stinks.
I can relate. I am waiting for my husband to be ready for our first baby. And waiting, and waiting. I get so jealous when friends tell us they’re pregnant. I go to Target and see little babies in shopping carts that I want to pick up and cuddle. I see little kids playing at the neighborhood park and want to go give them a push on the swing (creepy, I know). I see the tiniest little shoes at Target and I want to buy them.
Like you, I’m trying to trust in God’s plan. I’m reminding myself that waiting for my partner to be ready is much better than having a child with someone who isn’t ready…that God will grant my wish when it’s time, when we’re both ready to give all of our love to our child. It is so hard, though. There is something so magical about children, and building your family.
I hope you get what you want soon! Any child would be lucky to have you for a mother. Your love for your family is so evident in your pictures and posts!
Just try to hang in there, relax, and enjoy Will and Jeremy! I would give anything to just have one right now 🙂
Dear Katie, I don’t really post often here, but I just had to after reading your post! I love reading your blog. I believe I might be 3 steps away from a restraining order against you. You are such a beautiful woman of God. I admire your fun-loving, playful, sincere, and honest personality. I pray that you may have pateince in him. Right now I’m doing a Beth Moore Bible study called “The Patriarchs” and it is about Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. We just were talking about Sarah and how she had to wait 90 yrs. to have her first born. It was so moving.
Anyways- I appreciate you and your honesty
Also, I always buy my preggo/ovulation strips from http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com
They work great and are even cheaper than the Dollar store!! Plus, you can buy in bulk and save even more 🙂 That’ll take some of the stress away!
Blessings to you and your family!
God is SO good!!
Angela
You may think you need a new outlook on this whole pregnancy thing, but judging by this letter you’re right on target. This is nothing quite like the waiting. Ugh, the waiting. It took 2 years (including fertility treatments) for us to get Charlotte and it felt like an eternity. It felt like an eternity at the end of the two years when we were four IUI cycles in and it felt like an eternity at the beginning when we just decided to start trying, so don’t belittle your feelings. Waiting, no matter how long you’ve been waiting, can be torturous!
Like other commenters have mentioned, definitely check out Taking Charge of Your Fertility if you haven’t already. It’ll really open your eyes into reading your own body to find out when the timing is right. The ovulation predictors will be unnecessary if you can listen to what your body is telling you. And if you have to stock up on pregnancy tests, hit up the Dollar Tree. Believe it or not, just cheapies are every bit as accurate as the more expensive ones. Good luck!
P.S. Thanks again for taking our photos over the weekend! Charlotte can’t stop talking about “picture Katie”.
Thanks so much for posting this. I’m going through the same thing and struggle with having patience. After getting yet another big negative this weekend, your post was exactly what I needed. I’m crossing my fingers for you! Hang in there!
Hilarious…I literally just laughed out loud 🙂
xo – kb
Katie,
This was such a beautiful post. Thank you for being so open and candid about what is going on with your life. It’s nice for us all to remember God has a plan, and to be thankful for what we do have at this point. Reading this post came at a perfect time for me. Thank you again and I will keep you in prayers.
Just want to agree with Jen on this…Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great book and was a huge help to us. It took us a year and a half to get pregnant, but now our first should be showing up sometime in November : )
Keep placing your peace in God…he does not leave us!
Patience is something I really struggle with, too. My hubby and I were in the ‘not trying/not preventing’ catagory for YEARS and then all of a sudden it happened. I had the fairytale image of being pregnant. Now I’m always in my own way, extrememly uncomfortable, exhausted from not sleeping, and only 26 weeks pregnant. I can’t imagine howuncomfortable things will be in the next 3 months!
My sister-in-law has PCOS, a bi-corniate uterus, and doesn’t ovulate. They tried for about a year on their own before they went to the doctor to see what was wrong. Then she was on fertility meds for 2 and a half years before getting pregnant with my niece. When she turned 2 they decided to *really* try again with the help of meds. 6 months later she got pregnant and she’s now 7 weeks along. It CAN happen!
I don’t have to tell you that patience is a virtue. It will happen at the perfect time and you’ll look back wondering why you wanted to rush things so badly. I’ll be praying for you and your adorable future family memebers!
Best of luck to you…my brother and sister-in-law tried for 4.5 years. They finally are pregnant and she is due in 2 weeks! Eek! Praying everything goes okay from here on out. It is so hard to understand God’s timing sometimes. It is something I often struggle with. But honestly – we lost my Grandfather last year and not even a full year later my brother and his wife were pregnant….I think God knew that it would be such a hard loss for us that by giving them a child now we could take our mind of missing him and in stead thank God for sending us this baby. It was PERFECT timing honestly. So now it seems that his timing makes sense, but its was awful watching them struggle for so long.
Whoa. I am so in your boat right now. My husband and I have been trying for our first for a year. It is soooo hard to wait. It’s funny that you posted this now, because I am preparing a post about not getting pregnant.
Thank you for posting this. My husband and I have only been “officially” trying for six months, which I realize is a very short time, but I’m surrounded by the “He winked at me, and we got pregnant.” types, or so it feels like, so it gets hard to answer the “When will you start your family?” questions without wanting to scream, punch someone, cry or do something equally inappropriate for the circumstances. The stories women have shared in the comments section have been such an encouragement to me!
My advice to all of us (myself included): Maybe we should stop with the “When will yall start a family?” questions and the “You two should have a baby!” statements all together. Even I’m guilty, despite my comments above. 🙂
LOVED this post! I read all the time and rarely comment but I just had to say I will pray for you! I know that is frustrating. I pulled the goalie this month and am gonna save this post for reference as I may need it too!
And while I am commenting just want to say I love all of Will’s “Throwing stuff” photos because my son throws stuff ALL.DAY.LONG. Its hilarious! Always makes me think of your photos when he does it.
Good Luck! The world needs a precious new bower!
Thanks for sharing – this is so well put. I have been thinking about you lately as well! Also, a belated thank you for the photography pricing and tip info, I really appreciate it!!
Katie,
I am an everyday reader. I enjoy your blog. I hardly ever comment. I think I did a couple times over our boys only being 4 days apart. Will the 8th: Gavyn the 12th. I know how hard it is to trust Gods plan. My husband and I started trying a few months before you and Jeremy did. It took us a year and a half to concieve our son. So I knew it wouldnt happen right away. Unfortunately my husband passed away in a automobile accident in July. I wished so badly that I would be pregnant. I knew there might be a chance and I clung to that with everything I had. I wasnt. I know wonder what if I would be…. 4 months pregnant 🙂 On the other hand I would be a 24 year old widow, 4 months pregnant, a all boy 18 month old and no income. I was a stay at home mom just like you. Now I have to think about getting a job, putting my son into daycare (which I think it might kill me) and dealing with the aftermath of losing my love and my best friend for the past 4 years. I know you are, but please be thankful for how lucky you are. Trust me you never know how lucky you are til its gone..
I have a little girl who is about to turn 3 at the end of this month. She is my miracle! I was told I would never have her even with invitro and you know what a sence of humor God has! My hubby and I tried for 5.5 years before we got pregnant. We had actually given up and were on the way to adoption, when we found out we were preggers. We want another one, and have been “trying” for over a year and a half now. Im not worried…. it will happen in HIS perfect timing. If we have another one I will be sooooo happy… If we never have another one I will be sooooooooo happy with the most beautiful child he has blessed me with. I have learned many lessons while waiting to be a mom. The greatest lesson is to be satisfied with what we are given… why will he give us more if we cant appreciate what we already have. Not to say you dont, but the first thing should be “Thank you Lord for what you have blessed me with!” second thing can be “I ask that you will provide your blessings in your perfect timing… because then it will be PERFECT.” Big lessons….. if we had gotten preggers when we first wanted to we would not be in the situation we are now…meaning…. I can be a stay at home mama…. we have a remodeled home…. newer cars… I thank the Lord daily for his timing… I am a better women, wife and mother because of him. I pray that the Lord will bless you the way He knows how to. Wait upon the Lord. Take care Katie… he will not fail you EVER!
The dollar tree has $1 tests…. not that I’m encouraging you to pee on a stick more.
Katie,
I am a faithful reader and follower of your blog (love it!) but don’t think I’ve ever commented, but today, I have to.
To say thank you. My husband and I have an amazing almost 4 year old little boy, who we cherish and adore, and I struggle every day trying to figure out if we really need another after trying for 14 months and losing one baby at 9 weeks early this year.
I NEEDED that third paragraph. I needed it so much I copied and pasted it and printed it to carry around with me (hope you don’t mind!). Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. Know that you have ministered to someone and impacted someone this morning.
Good luck with everything! I’ll pray for you guys.
Aww, sorry to hear you’re not having much luck.
Just an FYI though, those dollar store sticks are just the same and much much cheaper!
Katie
I read your blog daily from France, and I have to say that I admire your family already as it is. You look like very happy people (with a pretty darn cute house !! so jealous by the way, in France average houses are so small …).
I sincerely hope your wish come true soon, I’ve been there too, and I know that even everybody says “stop thinking about it to get pregnant”, it’s almost impossible. I mean, let’s face it, if you want a baby, you ALWAYS think about it … and feel guilty, and awkward when people talk to you about it … sigh …
So I really wish you the best for the next months, and I’ll be so happy for you when it happens !! Give Will a hug from a 15 month-old-French-blogging-pal (aka Arthur).
This is a beautiful post. My husband and I have only been married about a year and a half, and we have no children, so I don’t fully understand this problem, but all the couples we spend the most of our time with have children, and a lot of my friends are having babies. I know the time isn’t right for us to have a baby just now, but it’s still hard to watch everyone else getting to be a mom. I also have trouble with snapping at people asking if I’m pregnant yet. Even though we’re not currently trying to get pregnant, all I’ve ever wanted to do is be a stay-at-home mom, and every time someone asks if I’m pregnant, or why I’m not, I feel like a failure.
So be encouraged, and love your little man now. I’m sure you’ll get pregnant again soon, but even if you don’t, you are a mom. You have a husband and a son that love you, and no matter what, that won’t change.
Great post. Been there. And when I was there, I learned: the $ store tests are just as accurate as the doctor’s office ones (in fact, my nurse said those are the ones they use). I think they’re called “New Choice” or “New Beginnings” or something like that. So… let go of any feelings you might have about buying preggo tests at the $ tree, and take comfort in peeing on cheaper sticks! 🙂
It breaks my heart to read this but I can completely relate. A good friend of mine gave me a great quote that I recite over and over in my head. “God’s plan isn’t always your plan, but it’s the right plan.” We plan to try for our third this winter and I am so fearful and afraid. Hang in there and keep praying. Wishing you and yours the best!
Katie I feel your paint. we have been attempting for over a year now after loosing our fist one. It is frustrating and as much as you have the right attitude that God’s plan is what it is and we can’t change it … it still sucks.
Keep your chin up and go hug that cute boy.
Hi Katie – long time lurker but first time commenter coming out of hiding! I read this post and thought it was VERY brave of you to put it out there for the world to read. Not many people share their heart like you do 🙂 I lost 4 babies before I had my miracle son (who is now 24 and making me feel VERY OLD thankyouverymuch – but proud as hell). I remember praying and feeling like you do – it is so hard to wait for God’s timeline to match up with ours!!! I remember thinking how I was just not going to be a mom – that I had to stop thinking about it and obsessing about it. It will happen for you – be positive and try to enjoy this time with Will. I love your blog so much – thank you for sharing your home and your heart with all of us 🙂
Sincerely,
~dt~ from Baltimore MD
Thanks for sharing this. I have been praying for years for a different kind of blessing in my life, and I often get frustrated that God hasn’t made the plan clear to me yet. I will be praying for you as well!
I hope you are comforted by the fact that you have so many readers praying for you! There will be a wonderful, close sibling relationship no matter what the age gap is between Will and Bower #2. I’m close friends with all of my sisters – 1 is 20 months younger than me, 1 is 4 years younger, and one is 11 years younger! Try to enjoy the journey, despite the disappointments.
1 year and 3 months in: 30 negative test sticks, 2 wasted ovulation kits, 6 rounds of provera, 1 round of a 5-pill cocktail (5 more to go), one new puppy and too many tears to count.
Sometimes it just feels better knowing you aren’t alone!! So thank you for this post and to all those comments that can relate.
Keep hoping, wishing and praying 🙂
I needed to read this today, Katie. I truly believe God just used you to send me (and probably many other women from the looks of it) a message. Thanks for that!
Katie-
What an absolutely beautifully-written, honest letter! I wish I would have had the good fortune to come across this when we were struggling to get pregnant 13+ years ago. The obsession, ruminating, jealousy, and cycle of hopefulness and complete let down I remember all too well. And then not wanting to be “that friend” that your girlfriends felt uncomfortable to tell you they were pregnant. Oh, and the judging who should or should not be pregnant (like “Why do moms on drugs keep getting pregnant and I don’t?”) Yes, it brought out all kinds of ugliness in me. God did answer my prayers, however not in the way I expected. Through adoption, I have two boys (11 and 7 1/2) who I adore with all my heart.
I have spoken to women who have given birth to their child (or children!) who still come to tears when they recall their struggles with fertility. As personal and painful as this is for you, it really is so common among all types of moms. No matter how your story ends, you have many moms that completely relate to how you’re feeling. You are not alone. I will be sending prayers your way like many of your other readers. Katie, God bless.
thank you, thank you. exactly what my burdened heart needed to hear today from the Lord. it’s as if you wrote this for ME 🙂
Katie — wishing you peace, a calm mind and patience.
Katie,
I totally could have written this post myself. I am struggling with patience and feel like I can not handle another moment of waiting and wondering if this month is the one I will finally get pregnant. People always say it happens once you stop trying but I have had the hardest time accepting that knowig that there is only like a 4 day window each month in which you can get pregnant. How can you just randomly hit that!? Ughhh…wishing you lots and lots of luck and patience. 🙂
Thank you for sharing what’s going on with you right now- you have a gift with words that I know has touched me and many others. Praying for patience for you, and also, that you get what you want soon:)
Katie. This was a great letter. I am sending prayers and happy Bower family thoughts at you. I’d send hugs too, but I don’t want to be a creepy internet stranger.
God’s timing is certainly perfect because today I really needed to read this. I’ll be praying for you. We’ve carried the burden of our infertility for a long time now. I know it’s easier said than done but praying for God to help us “let go” has helped us keep our focus even when we feel hopeless.
It took me 7 months to get pregnant with my first and it felt like FOREVER!! I pretty much hated all my friends during that time because it seemed like they were all getting pregnant before me. It was the most frustrating experience. Looking back of course I think 7 months isn’t that long at all, but it feels like an eternity when you’re waiting for something you want so bad! I went to http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com and bought a ton of ovulation strips because I took them all the time and they were cheaper than the tests in the store 🙂 I think the pregnancy tests are cheaper there too. I wasted a lot of money taking pregnancy tests 🙂 Good luck to you! I hope it happens soon!
I’m sure a dozen people already said this and I usually read through the comments to make sure I’m not repeating but I don’t really have time to do so this morning. I’ve got my own little 18 month old who needs me as much as Will needs you:). Maybe taking a break from trying and not stressing so much about it will help….I’m sure you didn’t find Jeremy when you were looking, he probably came around when you least expected it. Maybe that’s how the baby thing will happen….when you’re not activly trying and when you least expect it. I know this os much easier said than done, but I’m praying for you. We all look forward to hearing the news and I promise to wait patiently. I haven’t asked and won’t, I’ll continue to read daily and when I hear the news I’ll be so excited for you. You’ll share your story and someone who is going through exactly what you’re going through now will read it and you will help them. Keep the faith:)
I know this sounds totally crazy, but buy the cheapo pregnancy tests at Dollar Tree. When my husband and I tried for over a year, those suckers added up quickly. When you’re completely oblivious and not thinking about it any more, it will sneak up on you out of the blue and when that little Dollar Tree test has two pink lines, then you can run out and buy the more expensive ones! I hope things work out for you and Jeremy!
Dear Katie,
Again, thank you for sharing your heart so openly with all of us…I, too, experienced the stress and sometimes(okay, daily, every second) ANGST that goes along with this. My husband and I had tried for two years, with no luck. It seemed that every time I broke down and bought a test, I’d start my period within minutes of seeing that “negative” sign. My whole identity became wrapped up in the fact that I couldn’t conceive. If my husband even looked at me cross-eyed, I thought he was summing me up as unworthy, un-womanly, unlovable. I never even considered the fact that it could have been HIM. Well, after breaking down and going to a specialist, I was told to just take the pressure off of myself and take some time to decompress. The doc told us me if I still felt the same after six months, we could talk about some alternative methods. How freeing that was!! You’ll never believe this! That night, we went home and just had the most beautiful “date night” ever. Just totally enjoyed each other as human beings and best friends. Little did we know that we conceived that very night!! Nine months later, we were blessed with the greatest treasure we’d ever known!! Fifteen years later, I still thank God every day for him. You and Jeremy and that little angel of yours will make the most beautiful family for the next little Bower. Until then, cherish every moment with them. These days with Will can never be replaced, and are so incredibly precious. Right now, he needs YOU, and YOU need HIM…JUST HIM, just as much. Much love to you~You’ll be in my prayers! : )
It took us 4 years to get pregnant with our first (not to mention a LOT of $ and a LOT of help from women in white coats) 🙁 I’m a teacher and it’s so frustrating to see 15 year old girls walking around pregnant. While trying to get pregnant with our second, which took less time but even more $ and help, I had a 10th grade girl tell me she was pregnant the day before Christmas break and that she was going to have an abortion over vacation. It was all I could do to keep the tears in.
I do have to say (and hopefully it doesn’t sound too angry) it’s SO frustrating to me to hear people say, “just relax and it will happen”. While it may be true for some, it’s not for many and when you’re in the midst of the heartache it’s not helpful to hear.
You have one beautiful baby so chances are you’ll be able to have another but I can’t encourage people enough not to wait too long to get help. I wish I’d listened to my husband and gotten help MUCH sooner than we did! (we were undiagnosed. Nothing “wrong” with either of us but never were able to conceive on our own)
What a beautifully written and honest letter. Thank you for that. My husband and I are going to start trying again in a few months and I am a little worried that I am going to run into the same issues, as it wasn’t extremely easy the first time around. Prayers going up for you today.
Thanks for this! It is great to hear and know others feel this way. We are in the same boat. What a great perspective on who and what needs our attention! Prayers for you and others to remember exactly what you wrote…God knows and has a great plan for each of us!
Thanks
I hear you. Serisouly. We tried for 9 monhts and finally, FINALLY! it happened 🙂 We are 6 weeks pregnant now. June 2012 cannot come fast enough. Babies are such a joy and such a blessing. It will happen. Enjoy your little dude and just know… it will happen. Blessings!
Aww Katie you are not a horrible parent! Kids are trouble at that age & I’m sure it’s very easy to get irritated, but you do the best you can with what you are given, it’s all anyone can do. You are an amazing parent! No one knows what they are doing! You will receive a baby when the time is right. Maybe your body just isn’t ready & is still recovering from Will. Maybe if you got pregnant now your baby wouldn’t be as perfect as if your body holds out a little longer. There is a plan for you, don’t worry about it 🙂 🙂 Smile that you get another sunny day with your family now!
When you find yourself looking into that second little, wrinkled newborn face, you will be so thankful to God for for His perfect timing. So thankful for having to wait those long months and months, because it was all so perfectly orchestrated to bring that little, wrinkled newborn to you. 🙂
I know your letters to yourself are to help you sort through and understand something but they always speak to me too! I may not be struggling with the same issues right now but your words are very encouraging and so very honest.
Thanks for saying what we all need to hear sometimes 🙂
I really needed to read this today. I feel like I have been in a funk, wanting what isn’t happening and being rudely jealous of the people who have what I want.
Thank you for writing this and speaking directly to me today.
If peeing on sticks makes you happy 😉 (that was a weird beginning of a sentence….), I wanted to let you know that around here, you can buy pregnancy tests at the dollar store. They work every bit as well as the $10 ones.
And yes, God’s timing is perfect. I had the timing of my kids planned out perfectly. Then after a year of trying for my last one, I realized that God’s timing was best for us. I think I would have gone crazy (crazier?) if I would have gotten pregnant any sooner. Hope all goes well!
Psalm 37:4
Katie….I could have written this post word for word. My son will be 19 months on Thursday…and I wanted kids 18 months apart – 2 years apart. Now whenever I get pregnant they will be almost 2 1/2 years apart…not my ideal; but like you I know God has a plan…its just not my plan….for right now. GL!!! I hope the next cycle is the ONE for you.
I also wanted to recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I got pregnant my first cycle using this! I think it’s a great read for any woman whether you are trying to get pregnant or not because it has so much information on how our bodies work. I thought I pretty much knew what I needed to know to get pregnant 😉 but I learned so much reading the book.
It’s so hard to be that ugly jealous girl isn’t it? Sadly, even with 2 beautiful girls, I sometimes still feel that old little twinge when someone gets pregnant the second they start trying. It’s not something I feel good about and try not to be that way. Infertility and parent divorce are two things that can bring me to tears in an instant even at this age!
so wonderfully put and such great perspective. In time your little he/she will come. xo.
Katie… We are totally in the same boat.
I’m trying for my FIRST though! It’s going on the 6th month for me. Each month I take at least 3 PTs and the first month I took a whopping 7…. because for some reason I decided they were all errors. Every time I get a negative… I cry like a baby (embarrassed).
I’ve spent many nights thinking that I must be broken or I am not fertile. I think I MADE my period late on at least 3 months because I was stressing about it so much. I was so jealous of those girls I see on TV that have gotten pregnant from missing a pill (UGH!!)
However, after I missed this last period of mine… It got me thinking. I believe that God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle and he must believe that we cannot handle a pregnancy yet. My boy is still waiting on getting hired at his dream job and maybe God wants us to wait until that happens. God is full of miracles and I pray every day that he will bring me ours… but when we are READY.
Katie, enjoy your time with Will. He only gets to be the “only child” for so long, and it’s your time to cherish that. Feel blessed that you have Will and know that God will give you a miracle when the time is right. 🙂
I know exactly how you are feeling. And I’m willing to bet so many other women reading this blog are going through the exact same thing. It really helps to know that you are not alone.
and p.s., amazon has wondfo brand OPKs and HPTs for super cheap! Much cheaper than the OPK in the stores. Not that I’m feeding your pee stick addiction or anything…..
Have you tried Mucinex 5 days before ovulation? I’m telling you it works! Google it and give it a try. Definitely worth looking into.
You made some good points – now if you (and the other people – ME) will listen to those points. I know it’s not good to stress about it but when it’s something you want it’s easier said then done. WE WILL GET A BUN IN THE OVEN KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!! Until then I want more pictures of Will!!!!!!!!! 🙂
And when you do get pregnant, which I know you will..imagine how even more SWEET and wonderful it will be.
I know it’s so cliche, but These Things Happen for a Reason. NEVER even thought I would have three (my husband never would have agreed to it), we waited nine years to have our second because ‘it wasn’t the right time’. BAM we got twins. To think, if I had a baby a year or two after my daughter, I never would have gotten a double blessing. Two for one deal!!!!
Thank you for this! The husband and I are trying for our first, and patience isn’t my strongest attribute…I SO can relate!
Katie,
Thank you for opening up to us. I enjoyed reading this post, I’m in a slightly similar situation. Im about the same age as you, and my husband and I decided to try for our first baby over this summer. We actually got pregnant fairly quick however we recently lost our baby. It has been the most difficult thing to deal with, you of course never think it’s going to be you. Getting angry and then sad about why God would take my baby and give other people babies that they don’t even want. It’s not the same as your situation but it has forced me to trust in God’s plan as well and try try try to remember that everything happens for a reason (also trying not to give the stink eye to every pregnant women I see). I hope you find peace in this process of conceiving it is definitely difficult but the possibility of a new life is even more beautiful.
Sounds like a conversation I’ve had with myself before! Here’s my story: http://keepinginteutsch.blogspot.com/2011/04/dear-god-why-cant-i-have-baby-part-2.html.
For me, going through a time of infertility (I have PCOS) was about learning to give up control…since I’m a control freak. We are trying to get pregnant with number 2 right now, and I CONSTANTLY have to remind myself of the lessons I learned the first time around. God’s timing is perfect timing…and I also have to constantly remind myself of that as well. So, I know where you are coming from.
Also, I HIGHLY recommend the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility.” If you don’t chart your basal body temp and your cervical fluid already, it would be extremely helpful to start doing that so that 1) you’ll know whether you are ovulating or not; and 2) so you can know WHEN you are ovulating. Seriously, if you don’t know about the charting…run to the bookstore now and buy this book! 🙂
God bless you. It’s hard to wait. Especially when we can’t see any reason to wait. But God sees the big picture and He has His reasons. I often recite to myself the verse about, “your ways are not my ways and your thoughts are not my thoughts” just as a reminder that I really don’t know much in the grand scheme of things. If it helps, my three kids each are almost exactly 3 years and 4 months apart from one another. And I love that spacing. I had always thought that I wanted kids 2 – 2.5 years apart, but a friend told me that a child psychologist said that 3 – 3.5 years apart is the best. And I kind of agree with him for ME. I think other women are differently talented and gifted and can handle them all in diapers at the same time. But, see, this last one was a surprise. BIG surprise. Shocking. But what a blessing it is that the oldest one was 6 when she was born! He was and is the best helper in the world. And she adores him. And, of course, we couldn’t imagine life without her. I will pray that God’s will be done for you and that while He is accomplishing that, he comforts you and gives your restless heart some peace. I don’t think He’ll make you wait as long as Sarah, Hannah, or Elizabeth waited. 🙂
Ahh..yes, this was me in january…through aug 🙂 Same situation…same feelings…same asking the Lord “what the heck is going on!!” While it took just a week or two of “trying” for my son…this time around…not so much. I know your sick of hearing this but it will happen. I know how you felt when you said you stare at the pregos in public…haha..I did it on a regular basis 🙂 I started ignoring friends and family that kept asking “so when are you going to have another?” God is good..He knows what’s up and He has a plan…which usually doesn’t line up with ours I’ve realized 🙂 Once you do get prego…it’ll be the best! I’m 4 months and so thankful 🙂 Sending prayers your way!
keep the faith katie!!!!! And thank you for writing this. It applies to me too while I wallow in my singledom at 29. Love you girl! Keep your head up.
I feel you, Katie. I am a believer in God’s perfect timing. Even though I have completely irregular cycles, for our first son, I thought, we’ll get pregnant when the time is right and didn’t want to make a big thing about it. We never got pregnant. When I started freaking about something being wrong, I decided to read this book before going to the doctor: http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1318347956&sr=8-12. I’m glad I did. I got pregnant on my first cycle before even finishing the book. I realize this was lucky and ultimately God was at work in my life; however, it did provide me with solid information. This book helped me achieve four pregnancies–some with one cycle, some with a few cycles. Although the middle two ended in unexplained miscarriages (even this was God’s work and we ended up with our second son when His timing was right) I could still get pregnant. Might be worth a try to at least know that you’re at least trying to conceive at the “right” times. Then you’re armed with information you can take to your doctor. Good luck, Katie. I’ll be praying for you.
oh honey….what a beautifully-sarcastically-you-know-what-you-need-to-do-letter to yourself.
and it was exactly what I needed to read also,
much love your way from Arizona,
Martha
Katie, I have a feeling that this is your week!
Katie,
Big hugs to you. I have been there. As others have said, do get a doctor you trust and feel comfortable with. Do it now, don’t wait until after a year of trying is up. The sooner you find that doctor and get them thinking about what may or may not be going on the better off you will be. It may be a simple as you don’t ovulate at day 10 like more women, that was my issue. If that is the case which I figured out on my own via the ovulation test kit, then you can adjust “other things”, if you know what I mean. Also, (totally being a smart alec here) you do know you you have to, um, “do it”, right? 😉 I guess you probably have that figured out since you do have Will and all. Trying to lighten things up, hope you aren’t offended. That was a beautifully written post and I remember back when I had a blog crying out to the internet for help. I have met some of the most wonderful women around the world that way. Wishing you luck and hopefully you don’t find out on your 40th birthday that you are finally pregnant like I did. I think you have quite a while to worry about that.;)
What a wonderfully written paragraph Katie. I can only imagine how hard it is to wait each month. I am one of the world’s most impatient people- but the way you put it into perspective: that God has a plan for us all really nails it. It will happen, when it happens. I find with everything in life…once you let go and stop worrying about something (so much) things work out.
Katie,
I’ve been reading your blog for a while but I’ve never commented. But I just needed to thank you so much for this post – I really needed it today. My husband and I have been trying to conceive our first for 11 months now. After having a miscarriage in February I’ve gone a little crazy (read: jealous, angry, depressed) in all things related to pregnancy.
I think getting pregnant is the first thing I’ve not been able to achieve with “a little hard work”. Trusting in God’s timing is more difficult than I ever imagined… but I’m trying each day.
Thanks again for the reminder that I’m not alone in this journey! I’ll say a prayer for you and your family!
I totally believe that it’s true what you said. You are in the middle of his plan and you just don’t know how it ends yet. My S-I-L went through a horrible few years. She finally got pregnant, then mis carried at 12 weeks. We were devesatated. Turns out my F-I-L died on the same day as what would have been her due date. We learned that day the the “rest of the story” was something we never expected.
http://www.amazon.com/Wondfo-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-50-count/dp/B004AOMAOG/ref=pd_sbs_hpc4
best.tests. ever…and cheaper than dollar tree
I got a very faint positive 4 days early!
Nice letter to yourself! I might have to do this. Stay strong and know people are wishing you the best. 🙂
You’re right, ovulation sticks and pregnancy tests are expensive. So I started buying mine on amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Combo-Ovulation-Tests-Pregnancy-Strips/dp/B0002YIQLY/ref=sr_1_3?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1318349682&sr=1-3
Can’t beat $10 for 50 tests! 😉
I second that! The ovulation sticks are handy, too!
Katie,
I have never commented before but I read your blog daily. I just wanted to tell you that this post was just what I needed and I thank God for putting these words on your heart. I found out I was pregnant, first time, on Saturday and of course was so excited, told my husband, and our 2 closest friends. Yesterday I took another test, just to triple check, it said ‘not pregnant’… both times. I called my doctor, went for blood work, and now I’m waiting. I’ve been spotting and feel the worst news is coming. You are so right about God’s timing. I have had the same prayers toward God too. Waiting and trusting His plan for my life is better than my plan.
I read this morning in Psalm 34, v.1 “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. v.4 I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. v. 17-18 the righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
The Lord is good… always. Even when I don’t understand why something so exciting and good happens and then so quickly gets taken away. But the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but my soul will say, blessed be the name of the Lord.
I’ll pray for your family and for God’s blessings.
Emily
Katie,
I know exactly how hard this is. My husband and I have been together for seven years (married for four). We decided to to start trying last November. I literally did everything in my power to get pregnant. Three months prior I had gotten off the pill to get it out of my system so that I would be completely ready come November. I even lost 24 pounds to get back to my normal size to to be ready to conceive. I bought ovulation tests, I charted, the whole nine yards. On my 4th wedding anniversary, my husband and I found out that after 6 months of trying we were indeed pregnant. We rejoiced in God’s perfect timing. What a wonderful blessing to have this happen on on Wedding Anniversary. From that point I did everything the right way. – I gave up coffee completely, quit dying my hair, and even cut down on the sweets. (Yep, even quit bacon – crazy I know). I will never forget the 6 week appointment and seeing my beautiful baby’s heart beat.
You can imagine my surprise when I went in for my 12.5 week appt and found out that I was no longer pregnant. I had a missed miscarriage and had no symptoms and in fact, my body still though I was pregnant and so I was having pregnancy symptoms. – My uterus was even still expanding to my “bump” was getting bigger. My husband was out of town on business that week, and it was the hardest of my life. – Instead of leaning on God I was angry. How could he give me this baby and then take it away? Why couldn’t I have had symptoms so I could prepare myself? Why did Keith have to be out of town? Then I had terrible complications to the medicine my doctor gave to remove the baby. (It was still perfectly intact inside of me). I ended up in the ER for 11 hours and had to go in for surgery. I quit praying, I quit talking to God. – I look back now and think about how much better that time would have been if I had been more faithful and leaned on my heavenly father. Luckily, he loves me even when I turn away and greeted me with open arms when I came back. This has taught me so much about me, my husband, and my ever faithful savior.
We can start trying again for a baby in mid November. I can’t wait. Who knows, maybe we will get pregnant at the same time:) In the meantime, I am enjoying this time with my savior and my husband. Both who love me unconditionally in spite of all my flaws. Yes, I am very lucky. God has a plan for all of us, even though it is hard to wait and be patient. His timing is perfect. and I can’t wait to see what he has in store.
It can be sooo hard to wait for good things. You have a mom’s heart – everything your longing for is the right thing to be longing for. God will not let that longing go unfulfilled. He’s doing it in His own way just for you and you will have nothing but gratitude. And it sounds like you already have that gratitude – anticipating the future but not missing what you have now. Look forward to hearing where this goes 🙂
Katie,
Thank you so much for this! We have been working on our first for 9 months now with no luck. I feel like every one of my immediate friends have announced their pregnancies and each time I get jealous, sad, and bitter (not a very pretty me).
I am seeing my OBgyn tomorrow to see what is happening in this body of mine. But thank you for reminding that God has a plan, and it is up to Him to decide.
Hugs!
-Michele
I’m sure you can tell that your letter to yourself was perfect for many of us that follow your blog. Trusting God’s timing is hard, especially when it seems like everyone and their sisters are announcing yet ANOTHER pregnancy while you’re still waiting for the one you want very, very badly. We’ve been trying for almost 2 years but after a miscarriage earlier this summer and starting the least severe infertility treatments, still haven’t gotten there ourselves.
I can’t talk about the end of the process but like so many things, difficulty conceiving is a daily faith battle. It’s too easy to give in and worry and complaint. But you, Katie B, are a strong woman and you have supportive family and friends.
I’ll be praying for you as well. I hope we can both announce our pregnancies soon and I can pretend we’re BFFs going through it together (too creepy? I swear I’m relatively well-adjusted!)
Katie – YOU ROCK!! Stay strong!
I thought about sharing my own story, but then I remembered how when I was going through it all that none of that really made it any easier. Patience is such a hard thing – and sometimes I swore God was using our two kiddos to teach me patience.
You are in my prayers and I thank you for your candor. You are awesome!!!
Sending hugs! 🙂
Once upon a time there was a man named justin (my brother in law)
and at 22 was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer, he went through chemo and radiation and lost all his hair and was sick for almost 6 months. Miraculously he was named “cancer free” after 7 months and we all cried and hugged and had a party. The doctor said that the chemo had wiped most of his “reproductive dna” out and while he may still be able to have children the chances were small. His wife (my sister in law) was sad to hear that but was so over joyed that he was going to be ok that she ‘made peace’ with adopting.
Unfortunately less than a year later Justin was diagnosed with cancer again. It had come back with full force and he had to start all over again. What people dont understand about cancer is that not ONLY does it make you sick – it takes over your life. At 23 his ‘friends’ were the chemo nurses and he spent his free time sleeping. His wife was with him every step of the way, holding his hand, sleeping on uncomfortable sofas in his hospital room, driving to the emergency room when he had a temperature – while still working and trying to provide for him financially and emotionally. Then the doctors said he had to have a bone marrow transplant which means he had to live in a bubble for 6 weeks with limited interaction.
After the bone barrow transplant justin had about 99% chance of never having children. Him and his wife grieved and decided to enjoy their life together and love whatever children they would eventually have down the road – this was last november.
My sister in law is now 32 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl named Scarlett Elizabeth.
God is great.
Remember that you have a beautiful little boy which means you CAN get pregnant!!! It will happen!
“It’s okay to make plans. Just remember that you are in a plan right now. It’s just one you don’t have all the details to yet.”
The planner in me thanks you for this reminder today.
Thanks for this. I needed it. My husband and I are still trying for our first, and just last night I had a little breakdown over it. Waiting is hard, but it’s good to be reminded that someone else is in control. It will happen! Maybe not now, but it will happen.
A beautiful letter, and a beautiful outlook. It took my husband and I seven months of dedicating trying to finally conceive. I charted, and made sure to optimize our fertile days. Just wanted to share that even those who “stress and plan” can also conceive while actively trying. Oh, and EarlyPregnancyTests.com offers bulk pricing on testing strips, and that totally saved me. I got 40 tests for $20, and was able to test whenever I felt the urge (or needed to hit the bottle! haha) Good luck on your journey!!
Beautifully writtin! He is the only one who knows! Give him a change and trust in him!
<3
I totally get it Katie. Everything you wrote, I totally understand.
And as encouragement, I wanted to share that there actually ARE promises of pregnancy in the Bible! I have a bunch written on an index card in my Bible and hanging on my vanity mirror, but I'll just share two:
Psa 128:2-4 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.
Lev 26:9"I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you."
Praying God's promises for both of us, Katie!!
This was like a peek into my mind lately. We’re hoping for #1. And I’m late, but a ding dang test will not turn positive. And the Dr. can’t see me until the 24th. Talk about impatient! I get up in the morning and battle whether to drink the coffee or not. (And I’m almost murderous without it) Am I pregnant or not?! I’m sick of peeing on sticks and the word “maybe”.
I needed the reminder that God is Sovereign and all things are revealed in His timing.
Thank you. So much!
After struggling in infertility for several years we are adopting 4 children from Child Protective Services and are fostering an 11 month old. Though they are not my biological children, I have never felt any different about them, they are my kids. The funny thing is they have some of the same ‘quirks’ that my husband and I have.
I have to agree with the lady who said she would like to punch everyone who told her to relax and it will happen. I felt like that too.
In time, only God knows how he is going to grow your family. In time you will too. If the 32 yr old me would have told the 26 yr old me that I would have 5 kids at 32 I would have passed out. I was not prepared for what God wanted for me and my husband. Sometimes I am still not sure we are prepared, but we manage.
Katie, your in my thoughts and prayers.
Yes I second that!! That is a WONDERFUL book to have – not only for fertility, but also just as a general reference guide to women’s health. I learned so much! Katie -I’ll send you my copy for free if you’d like it. Us thrifty girls have to stick together. 🙂
I’d just like to give you a big hug right now.
Ditto this! Taking Charge of Your Fertility is an awesome resource. Get to know your body and your cycles so you can optimize your “timing”, and if there is something wrong, it will help you figure out what so you and your doctor can find a solution more quickly. Plus you will feel like you’re actually doing something, which can do a lot for your state of mind. Sending prayers your way… I too know the frustration.
OMG…so sorry…I just realized I didn’t include in my previous post that my SIL went on to have 3 beautiful children!
I whole-heartedly agree! This post is just what I needed right now. I know what you mean with the comments people make sometimes… I know their intentions are good and if they knew the situation they wouldn’t say it, but it still kind of stings.
Such encouraging words to yourself and all of us. I understand how difficult it can be to get pregnant and how hard it is to wait when it is all you want. Thank goodness God’s timing is perfect. Thank goodness he invented time and thank goodness he revealed a little of himself to you in this letter. And thank you for sharing it.
I agree! I’m still waiting patiently for God to bring the right man into my life so I can think about having lovely little babies! Good luck Katie!
ahh….needed this today:) thanks for sharing. praying for you:)
Hello Katie, I don’t usually post on blogs but this one I felt the urge to.
My husband and I have been married for a little bit and just decided that we’re probably ready for babies. Unfortunately for us, we have a huge obstacle to overcome before we can even try. With a 50% chance of having a genetic disorder that could be passed on to my children, I have to go through the excruciatingly stressful process of being tested for this disorder. We can’t just “pull the goalie” and begin the normal process sadly.
You’re one of the lucky ones, you have a gorgeous baby boy and all you have to do is have fun with your “boyfriend”. Enjoy it!
KB, get the ovulation kit! If you feel like reading a great book on how to use them to their fullest potential, read
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-fastest-way-to-get-pregnant-naturally-christopher-d-williams/1004085374
that, in conjunction with the kits, worked the 2nd cycle with my first son and the 1st cycle with my youngest (a second boy!) who is 7 weeks and swinging in his swing next to me as we speak. I know how you feel, it’s hard to see all these preggo women at Target and not be jealous. Don’t you feel like they are EVERYWHERE when you want to be pg too? geez! So hopefully you don’t mind this unsolicited advice from someone you don’t know! 😉 good luck!
I could have written this to myself. Thank you for writing it for me. I COMPLETELY understand this letter and where you are; with the exception that I don’t yet have the first one. And I want it. I want it so bad. And it brings out that green-eyed monster in me every time another friend gets her chance and I still don’t have mine. Patience is not a virtue of mine. But we wait and we live and we plow ahead. This makes no sense but I just want to say thank you for putting it out there and for talking about it. I only hope that one day we will both get what it is we so deeply desire.
Just to give you a heads up, order your ovulation tests from Amazon. My gyno/specialist has me order mine from there. You can get 50 for $10 or you can get 40 ovulation tests/10 pregnancy tests for $10.
Also, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get some bloodwork done. I am a long time sufferer of PCOS and endometriosis. Both of which effect fertility. You never know when it could be a hormonal imbalance or something else going on.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!! 🙂
Hi Katie,
I just wanted to let you know that the same thing happened to me after I had my first baby. We had no trouble getting pregnant with our first but then I was ready for our second child when my son was around 10 months old. However, it took about 10 months before I got pregnant with our daughter (who is now 5 months old). With my first it was seriously like the first or second month we started “trying” I got pregnant. But not the second time around. Just wanted to let you know that I know how you’re feeling.
But the most important thing to remember is that God’s timing is best and his ways are best. I know that it’s hard but just trust Christ with it.
Jessica
Side, side note: the pregnancy tests that they sell at the Dollar Tree are (according to one of my friend’s who is a doctor) the same ones that they use in the hospital, and actually detect hcg at around 25…instead of 50 or 75 like some expensive tests 🙂 Good luck!
Your letter touched me and I got misty eyed. I know it’s hard to be patient – patience is not my strong suit either. My advice to you – put your faith in God’s hands. He knows better. Enjoy your husband and child. When you least expect it you’ll be pregnant! Good luck.
P.S. I’ll sent a prayer for you.
I just went through the same thing. Tried 10 months for baby #2 and nothing was happening, just a lot of negative tests. Went to the Dr. and tried Clomid and the first month we got a positive. There are options out there for you =)
It took us 10 months of negative pregnancy tests, but I’m proud to say we’re pregnant with our first! What a miracle these little people are. Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to hit the publish button on this one… We began sharing with our closest friends about 6 months in. I appreciated the sweet comments, but sometimes it was just hard to be asked (even though I wanted to tell people). Ultimately, that’s what community is though – sharing and walking through this life together. We sure aren’t promised it’s going to be easy and I had to be grow (each dagum month) to be okay with that… I am so thankful to know the One who walks with us through it! I’ve got a soft spot for those going through this and I’ve been thinking about you. Will amp that up to praying. 🙂 To God be the glory.
wow. the fact that there are so many comments shows how this topic resonates with so many families. thanks for sharing your heart.
my husband and i started trying for our first and i told him, “we’ll just try and won’t even think about it for 6 months. then if it doesn’t happen we’ll start looking at calendars, etc.” literally DAYS after we started i was convinced i was infertile and was an anxious wreck. (even though i knew, logically, it was impossible to be pregnant so fast).
i just say that to say this: anxiety is a brutal beast.
my pastor always reminds us that our greatest problem is sin and our greatest need is for a Savior, and because that’s true we can have hope regardless of any unmet desire.
my prayer is that you get pregnant quickly, and in the meantime you continue to see how the Lord is at work RIGHT NOW (even though it feels like he isn’t…)
Love this quote! 🙂
Katie, this is exactly what I needed today!
I’m such a mess, mourning the sad loss of a second baby to miscarriage. It’s hard to be a mommy when my only babies are in heaven. 🙁 Getting pregnant hasn’t been the issue for us so I can’t say I know just how you feel, but we are both sad and anxious, you and I. Thank you for sharing this: “It’s okay to dream. It’s okay to make plans. Just remember that you are in a plan right now. It’s just one you don’t have all the details to yet. ”
It is hard to remember that trusting God’s plan includes hoping and dreaming. Sometimes I think that if I trust in God’s plan, I have to stop dreaming. But he gave us these hearts full of hopes and dreams, and we know the divine plan ultimately involves full satisfaction in perfect love that wipes away every tear. “He who did not spare his own son, how will he not also along with him give us all things?” (romans 8)
-abby.
Haha… My co-workers was a pharma rep for Mucinex and she said the same thing! It thins all mucus. ALL. MUCUS. And tons of OBGYNs would swear by it. It is on my list to try.
Tears. As someone also trying (but for my first), this really hit home. It was like you were writing those words to me (except the Will parts)!
I know how hard it is to be patient. It took four very long years of trying before we were blessed with the most beautiful girl ever. But she was worth the wait. I would do it all over again. Waiting is hard. Whether it’s 8 months or 8 years. It sucks. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make that want, that need for a child go away. I’m praying that you get happy news soon because even though Will doesn’t NEED a little brother or sister, he sure would make a pretty awesome big brother. 🙂
Oh, and Dollar Tree sells pregnancy tests. For a dollar. Just saying.
I really enjoyed reading this… thanks for sharing your sweet, personal thoughts. My husband and I want to try next year and I already worry about any complications that might come… I’ll be sure to reference this and pray this over my life… starting now 🙂
I’ll keep you in prayer too girl. God knows the desire of our hearts.. like you said, even before we do ourselves.
Oh how I needed this today. I just went to my OBGYN for an appointment to talk about reasons why I haven’t gotten pregnant yet! After 6 months of trying and so many $$ wasted on ovulation kits and pregnancy tests – I feel your pain!! And I’m a pregnant lady stalker too. I went to the appointment thinking that she would have answers for me – but instead she reassured me that this is normal. While it doesn’t feel normal (especially when all my friends around me are getting pregnant on month #1), after reading your post, I’m more reassured there is a reason and I need to stop operating on my plan, but live God’s plan.
Love your blog, love your sweet baby Will and your house, posts, etc. Thanks for this authentic post and glimpse into your feelings.
Katie,
I read your blog daily and very rarely comment. I just had to today to tell you that I know what you’re going through. My husband and I have no kids and have been trying since last December. I got pregnant in February and had a very early miscarriage in March. We were cleared to begin trying again in May and since then, no luck. Of course, I assumed I would get pregnant pretty quickly again like the first time, so it has been a very trying few months. And now we are in October, which is especially hard for me as I was originally due on Halloween. I just have to say, we know we are living God’s plan and that we should trust in his timing, but every month when you’re disappointed again, it is so hard. I hope it helps knowing how many out there are going through the same things you are. Enjoy your precious little boy and just try to soak up every minute you have with him. Soon enough you’ll have another little one vying for your attention. Good luck to you!
Nicole
Sorry Katie. 🙁
I know how hard it is to wait and trust it will happen when the time is right. I know the jealous envy of seeing pregnant women, babies, and cute baby things. I know the irritating comments from people. Including the ones that are meant well, but really feel nothing but awfully unhelpful.
We didn’t try/didn’t prevent for a year. And have been trying for 15 months on top of that. Thankfully we’ve found out what the issue is, but not sure where that leaves us at the moment.
I only say this to let you know I understand and I’m sorry it hurts.
Also — you can buy test strips on Amazon.com for ridiculously cheap. I think I got 40 for about $8? That goes for both ovulation & pregnancy tests. Just fyi. 🙂
Katie,
I read your post and felt almost as if it could have been mine. I am a wreck today… my period is due… every twitch I go pee to check. I am making myself crazy. I am too scared to pee on a text, because in some sick way the not knowing… means it may be positive, but if the test is negative, then its a definite no… again… going on many months. It sucks… Hang in there… I know first hand how much it hurts.
Giselle,
Same boat here… 33… have an almost 12 year old, been married for 1.5 years… no baby yet. It sucks. Good luck.
Wanted to fourth or fifth the rec. of Take Control of Your Fertility. My husband and I are Catholic and never use anything to prevent or achieve pregnancy. We’ve been married six years and have two kids; TCOYF has been a great help achieving and preventing without the use of hormones or anything else.
The whole experience of wanting or not wanting, etc. is a great reminder that God is in control. Not your will but His be done, ya’ know?
Good luck!
I saw yesterday in the comments that you were having a hard time. Believe it or not, I prayed for you on the way into work this morning because I know how hard it can be to wait while everyone else seems to get preggo. May God give you a steady peace in your heart today.
I wish to thank you. I have a six month old girl. I would like to have another baby but am afraid since taking care of her so far has been a very tough job. I doubted myself until I read your words that God put on our plates exactly what we can and should handle were an eye-opener. Thank you and good luck!
My boys are 2.5 years apart and honestly, any earlier and I WOULD have lost my mind. They are BUSY little people and it was very challenging for me to nurse and care for a newborn AND chase down a 2.5 year old. VERY challenging; nearly broke me. It’s better now (they are 3 and 5) and the best of friends, but I personally still wouldn’t want them any closer in age. It happened just the way it was supposed to happen for me and will for you too….
Dollar Tree Prego Tests: I was totally going to bring this up. Totally cheap, totally work.
I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for daily putting yourself out there. Thank you for the reminder of God’s plan. Thank you for saying exactly what I needed, just when I needed it.
Katie, when things didnt’ happen as quickly as my daughter would have liked she picked up the book TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR FERTILITY. I know that sounds rather like not trusting God’s timing, but she was pregnant the very next month after following a very simple suggestion from the book. She took Robitussin, the one with the expectorant ingredient or Muccinex. I know I’ve misspelled the medications, but hope you can still get what I mean. When she tried for #2 she gave it several months and then used the cough medication again and once again, the very 1st month she conceived their 2nd child. When a friend had tried for over a year she kept encouraging her to try it too. When she finally did, she too was pregnant the 1st month she used the medication.
I do not mean to be insensitive to those readers who have tried everything and gone to doctors and great extremes in their quest to conceive. I know this is not the answer for everyone. But, it’s such an inexpensive, non-invasive thing to try, so why not? You can find the particulars on when to take the medication in the book. I bet your library would have it. Good luck!
I feel the same way….it’s only been a year for us, but it’s so frustrating! These things happen in their own time, I keep telling myself. Hang in there sister 🙂
Katie – Thank you for sharing and articulating so well, what so many of us obviously feel. My son just turned 2, and we’ve been trying for 9 months to have our second. I am literally right there with you. Nothing has been as frustrating and as difficult for me as this has been. I remind myself everyday of the things you said… I’ll cross my fingers we both get that second blessing very soon!
Dear Katie:
I cannot say I understand your frustration. I am commenting because I wanted to give you some of my perspective, so hear me out (read me out?).
I have 4 beautiful healthy children, 2 boys, 1 girl, 1 boy. They are 5 1/2, 4 1/2, 3 1/2 and 1. I love each of them with all my heart. But, I am exhausted, my body is tired and I am only 27. I felt like MY body was broken, why couldn’t it figure out that if you are nursing exclusively (and exhaustively), you should not be able to get pregnant 2 months after a newborn, and then, after timing by taking your temperature every morning, to get pregnant right away again? And then being so cautious and getting pregnant by having sex 7 days from ovulation day? Husband and I decided before we got married that we would try to abstain from any birth control besides charting/temp reading etc. because as Christians we felt this was natural, that your body could and could not get pregnant at certain times and didn’t want to intervene in what was natural. Well, my body is broken, I think it gets pregnant anytime of the month, I’ve read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, but to use it for birth control was exhausting-my husband and I could have sex like 4x a month, and thats if we were sure I’d ovulated, weren’t tired etc.
After all that, we prayed and decided that we would be at peace with non chemical birth control. But it has been a blow to my faith, trusting in God’s will for our lives, and feeling like we are the only ones going through THIS struggle.
My point is: Don’t lose faith, we ALL have our struggles, and really I’m not trying to rub it in, because being one to get pregnant SO easily, is heartbreaking for me, I worry every month that I won’t get my period, that maybe our protection broke and I didn’t know. And I don’t know if I will ever be sure until we have my tubes tied, vasectomy, BC and a condom, really, my 3rd and 4th pregnancies were utterly shocking because we had been SO careful and barely had sex as it is. My kids need a mom, not a baby machine, and my husband needs a wife, not someone who is pregnant every year.
Just a humble opinion from the other side of the issue….hang in there ladies
That was touching. So true that we need to trust God’s timing in all of this. Wishing you all the joy you can have with Will right now. One day you will be able to expand your love to another.
thanks katie- you’ve said everything I just called my husband at work and complained about 🙂
Hang in there…I know Im trying as well…with very little patience (also) 🙂
I defenitely agree! It is a GREAT book! I used it when trying to conceive the last two times. Also, i know for my body to even have a chance at getting pregnant, I have to stop running (for exercise) and gain a little weight.
Trying to conceive is a tough journey. And it can seem so long! Hang in there! Appreciate your openness!
THANK YOU for writing exactly what I needed to hear. My friend says “We make our plans, and God laughs at them.” And it’s true, His plan is there, we just can’t see it and we have to wait for His timing, but that waiting is sooooo hard. I know how hard it is, we have been trying for our 2nd for 15 months with no luck yet; I KNOW it’s not time, yet I haven’t been able to let it go, I’m even taking medication to make it happen, that’s how hard headed I am! Even though I know His time will be right and that miracle will happen and I will say “Ah-ha! Now I know why He made me wait!” It’s hard to let it go, when that’s all you can think of and want.
Good luck Katie! I will send up some prayers for you.
Katie, this was so beautifully written! I went through the same thing in 2009. We tried for months and months and we were so frustrated. I had to watch my sister go through her pregnancy and have her baby around the time I had hoped to be having one myself. We didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening for us. But, like you said, God has a plan for us. Then one day, I went into the emergency room for abdominal pain and found out I had an 8mm kidney stone that had to be surgically removed (pretty freakin’ huge for a kidney stone)! My husband and I looked at each other and we were thinking the same thing, “Thaaaaat’s why!” They told me they wouldn’t have been able to do anything for me if I had been pregnant. I thanked God for his tender mercies and finally let go and refocused my attention on the two beautiful children I already had. It was so much more important and made me much happier to be in the moment with them. And then a couple of months later God finally gave us the “Yes” we had been praying for. He really is mindful 0f us all. Just remember, if it’s important to you, it’s important to Him, too. *hugs*
More bigs hugs to you! I’m nearing the end of cycle 13 trying for #1 and understand your frustration and impatience. The emotional rollercoaster is tiresome for sure. But hopefully one day I’ll be able to look back on these months and know it was all worth it.
I hope both of us will find our perfect time (soon).
I totally understand. I am going through almost the exact situation. Though it has been only 6 months for us. It’s funny how when I say it out loud six months it sounds like nothing, but living through those months can start to drive you crazy. I also have just one other child and I know I should just be glad that I already have one and that God will give us another at the perfect time but being human I don’t always remember to trust Him. I struggle with the same things that you said so perfectly in this post. I am trying everyday to remember that my little struggle is nothing compared to others and that I lead such a blessed life. My sister, for example, took 4 years and one miscarriage to finally get pregnant and I know that 6 months is nothing, NOTHING compared to that. But it is still SO hard to remember the good things in your life when I get so fixated on having another baby. Especially when everyone around me is pregnant. I went to a playgroup today and was the only one not pregnant. It’s also hard to hear how some got pregnant so easily, even before they were ready for it. To make a long story short, I hear ya! Yeah 8 months isn’t 8 years, but it still sucks!
YES! i agree!!! they aren’t as fancy… but who cares. you PEE on them.
i love your blog, katie!!! especially love and adore this post. it was far too relate-able. for me,
OMG!! Staying AWAY from the Mucinex! My husband and I have been married 4 years and I hyperventilate at the thought of having a child. I know I will get there eventually, but I fear that when my mind is ready my body wont be. I know in my heart it is not the right time for us now, so the goalie is still in the game, but what if I wait to long? What if I spent all this time trying to not get pregnant when I couldn’t in the first place. Why is fertility such an issue now when our grandparents were having 7 to 12 children well into their 40’s? Anyways what I am trying to say is your not the only one obsessing about fertility in general. And I am so tired of being asked when I am having a baby. And whenever I hold a baby being asked if that makes me want one. Seriously, your child is great and I dont mind being around them or seeing photographs or talking about them, I just dont want one yet!
Thank you for your open and honest letter. It is things like this that we so rarely share with one another, and yet support is so crucial when we are dealing with these feelings. I, like many of the other women who responded, can relate to what you are going through. A year ago I found out I was pregnant. I was beyond thrilled and especially excited because all three of my brothers had or were having babies within the same year. I also found out I was pregnant on my mom’s birthday. My mom passed away five years ago and always wanted grandchildren, so I thought it was my sign that this was the right time, that everything was going to be ok. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I ended up having to end my pregnancy due to medical complications. It was one of the most of the most difficult things I have had to deal with. Despite trying, I have not had any success getting pregnant. I, like you in your letter, try to remind myself to let go, to not stress, to not over-want. But, of course, that is so much easier said than done. It certainly helps to know I am not alone in my desires and frustrations. So thank you again for your honesty and for allowing others the chance to share as well.
I came across this on Pinterest a while back and at the time it made me tear up thinking of my own struggles with infertility: “God has 3 answers to your prayers. 1. Yes 2. Not now 3. I have something better in mind.”
I will pray for you, Katie. I know it is hard to be patient. I wanted a baby before we had agreed to start trying, but my husband and reason reminded me why we were waiting a few more months; then we did get pregnant but had a miscarriage, right as 2 friends announced they were due the same week we would have been with that pregnancy. It was so hard to be patient. But you are right and are reminding yourself of all the truths you need to hear. Will needs YOU right now more than anything else, and that if you stop dwelling on it, it at least makes the wait a little more bearable 🙂
And to cheer you up, look what I got in my e-mail today: a recipe for peanut butter bacon cookies with maple frosting! That seemed right up your alley! http://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/peanut-butter-bacon-cookies-with-maple-frosting/7c9874b7-150e-4a0e-a2af-2625da948f53/?WT.dcsvid=Mzc1NTM5ODk2OAS2&rvrin=5350598C-3ED4-4DBF-A2BB-212CC0DF194B&WT.mc_id=Newsletter_PB_PB_2011_10_11
I needed to read this! Thanks for posting your feelings. I keep getting caught up with all of my prego friends. I need to step back an enjoy my almost 1 year old and not worry about whether I’ll be able to get pregnant again and if I can, how close will they be in age, etc. (And yes, I’ve already gone thru 2 of those test in the last two months and they are crazy expensive!)
I know suggestions, especially from a total stanger in blogland are probably the last thing you would want/be happy about but it can’t hurt to glance over the NFP (nfpandmore.com) website. It seems like it would be in line with everything you believe and would be a help in many ways!
Homie.. as for the pregnancy tests and ovulation test.. I buy them at http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ for a fraction of the cost. Right now use the code “aloha” and get an extra 10% off.
I know the waiting is hard!
It’s been one year for us and we had our first appointment with a specialist today. We’re trying for our first though, so at least you have one little guy in your life!
Thank you so much for sharing Katie. My husband and I have been trying, but we haven’t really told anyone yet. My emotions have been going up and down, and sometimes I feel like a crazy person trying to interpret what my body is doing. I’ve read TCOYF and it has helped me feel slightly more sane, but I still feel like there’s no woman I can talk to about what I’m feeling. Today you made me feel a little less alone. Thank you.
Relax. 🙂 I’m sure 131283234 billion people have already told you that. They did it to me for 6 years. Took me 6 years after a loss to conceive my son and I only did so after fully giving up hope and moving on to adoption. Stress really does interfere. I wish you the best Katie, I’m going to be in the same boat soon. Waiting, trying, waiting, trying… vicious cycle!
After two kids that “happened” the first month we tried, I was sure I could get a baby on demand. Not so. Number 3 took 11 months, and I was beside myself with fear, confusion, blame, etc. After reading a book called “Taking Control of Your Fertility” I tried charting my cycles and some of their suggestions regarding fertile mucus (sounds gross, but it is pivotal to getting the fish upstream, shall we say). It was much more accurate than the ovulation kits. The first month we used her suggestions we got pregnant with the sweetest boy who is now 9 months old.
Nos. 1 and 2 were conceived when I was in my twenties, and apparently a lot changes by the time you are 30, which, sadly, I am:) Read the book. The writer is dang funny, and you will be amazed at the stuff you didn’t know about your body. Why isn’t this required learning for girls?! Good luck, sweetie. Enjoy the each day. And don’t hit the doctor when he/she tells you “at least trying isn’t like getting hit the head with a shovel.” Yes, my doc actually said that to me…. And the Dollar Tree pregnancy tests are fab!
Hey you, sweetie… Brazilian girl speaking again… THANK GOD this inner Katie told you all that!!!
You are so gifted!!! Gorgeous husband+lovely house+very exciting life+(I would say no angry clients complanning about the fact that your baby is sick and you are not giving them your best attention, but let´s skip this)+great artistic sense of style+ great figure +ADORABLE BABY WILL….
Don´t spend your precious time feeling sad about something that will definetely happen… Just relax and enjoy! We do want another Bower member … but we already love and enjoy the ones we have!!!! 🙂
Mary
Good luck Katie. I desperately want a #2 also, but my husband has decided that 1 is enough. My arms ache when I see people with little babies, and I cry every time my son reaches a new milestone. I love him to death and realize I should be happy with ‘just’ him, but it’s hard when, as you say, you want one more and have the love and resources to share.
Hugs to you!
PS – If I was closer I would offer to babysit a few times so you two could have a dinner date and ‘practice’. Good luck!
Hi, I’ve been reading your blog on and off for months now, but never commented. I have also been trying, 5 months and counting, and been so frustrated every month when I get my period. I’ve been using the ovulation sticks from early-pregnancy.com since month 2 – and pee on that for 2 weeks straight. Your letter is inspiring – it’s only been 5 months…not 5 years. Thank you.
Katie,
I completely and utterly understand exactly what you are going through. My husband and I have been married for 5 years (anniversary was in August) and since then, we have been trying. I am pretty much the only one out of all my friends without children. To see all their kids and all the cute clothes, shoes, etc. that goes along with babies is heart wrenching to me sometimes because I absolutely can not wait to be in their position but I know without a shadow of a doubt that God’s plans for my life is to be a mother! He didn’t put this burning passion inside of me for no reason. The God we serve is not a practical joker. He wants the best for us and like you said, he already knows exactly what we want and our hearts desires before we even ask him! And like the verse says, if your earthly father wants good for you, how much more does our heavenly father? I wish I had all the answers to this situation in my life, but I don’t. All I can do is trust that God is behind this. Every step of the way. In the beginning, meaning the first few years of struggling, I would cry and cry and cry every time my period came or I got a negative test. I would throw a pity party and feel sorry for myself. I was a mess every month. It’s slowly gotten better and my trust and faith in God has definitely gotten alot stronger, but I can honestly say that RIGHT NOW I am in the best place of my life. I can honestly say that I am at a peace like I’ve never felt before. Everyday I get up and choose to thank God for all he’s done for me! I choose to thank him for giving me life today, for giving me a wonderful husband, for my amazing friends and family. For the roof over my head. The car that I drive. I truly believe choosing to be thankful and grateful for the things I DO have instead of dwelling on what I don’t have has really helped me change my outlook on the situation. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll be a mother, I just have to choose to trust God and his timing and keep my eyes on Him. A verse I’ve really been meditating on lately is Isaiah 26:3…”You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” That’s all I can do…..all I can do is trust and believe! When you finally get to the place where you acknowledge that you have NO control over the situation, that’s when I believe God moves. That’s when he says “Ok, she’s finally giving me control! Now let’s do this my way!” And like you mentioned, the “when are you guys gonna have kids” and the “how long has it been now?”s are very frustrating, I know. That’s when you just have to smile and thank God that he is working and has a plan. If I can do it, you surely can 🙂 So hopefully reading this has cheered you up and given you some hope. You are a wonderful mother (from what I see and read on here!) and I have no doubt that you’ll find yourself pregnant again very soon. Just keep your eyes on Jesus and He’ll never fail you!
Thank you for writing the thoughts in my head. My husband and I have been trying for over a year and half. It seems almost every week a new friend announces her pregnancy. As horrible as it sounds, being happy for them isn’t the first emotion I feel.
A couple months ago we had our first appointment at a fertility center. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable. It’s stressful. At our last appointment the doctor started talking about IVF. That’s even scarier!
Sunday as we were driving to my in-laws I found myself thanking God that everything is in his control and his timing. But most of all, I’m thankful that my hope is in Him and He is always faithful to His children.
He has a perfect plan for you. Prayers for you for patience, peace, comfort.
Katie,
Are we the same person right now? I can’t decide if today was a good day or a bad day for me to read that letter, I’m not sure yet, but it is where I am. ( Though we are trying for our first and it’s only been 3 months.) But I need God to help me out with my patience as well. It will happen, in His time. He has a plan for me, and He has a plan for you.
Praying that we will both be blessed by Him in our own unique times.
Kristi J
Katie,
I wanted to thank you for sharing and being so honest. We’ve been trying since May after an early miscarriage years ago. I’m anxious to be a mom but know it will happen when it is supposed to happen. Your letters to yourself always make me smile and feel a little better about my own crazy inner monologue. Keep being you and keep at it… As you’ve said – it sure is fun to try!
Thanks Katie, I needed this today. I am actually in exactly the same boat as you. Married to a gorgeous man, have two beautiful children I adore, but am participating in monthly Russian Roulette with pregnancy tests.
Repeat after me….It’ll happen when it is supposed to happen.
hi katie,
i too know what you are feeling. it took 18 long months to get pregnant with my first. i tried acupunture & altering my diet to get pregnant with baby #1. only after i became less uptight & focused more in the now did i get pregnant. like you said God knows when. and when it’s time, it will be great! i promise.
hugs, nessa
Amen Katie! God Bless you! I am right where you are at. I have a 2 yr old daughter and we have been trying for 7 months. I know thats not long but we got pregnant the second try with our daughter. I keep telling myself the same thing as you. God is in control, He has the perfect plan, He knows what I can and cannot handle, He knows the perfect timing for another baby!! I tell myself to hold my daughter extra long, to give her extra kisses and hugs because she may be my only child. I have been blessed with a child!! Some never even get the chance to have one baby.
I too have been talking about buying ovulation kits and making an OB appt. or start tracking my waking temp. I’m thinking after this period I’m gonna start getting serious:)
Hang in there! Don’t lose site of who God is. He is the creater and giver of life! Enjoy being a mommy to a cute little boy!
What an amazing attitude you have! Have you guys thought about adoption? It’s been a blessing for a lot of our friends. James 1:27
Yes!! I agree…read “Taking Charge of your Fertility.”
Oh Katie, I know this place of frustration that you are coming from. Our plan had been to start trying to get pregnant with #2 around our son’s 2nd birthday. We found out a few months prior to his birthday that I had to have surgery to remove an enlarged uterine fibroid tumor that most certainly would have made it impossible for us to get pregnant. Then we had to wait 6 months to try to get pregnant. Then we tried for 11 months before we got the positive pregnancy test result, only to find out that my body failed me yet again and miscarried our little one at 8w, yet I never experienced an actual miscarriage. I had to have a D&C and now we are on cycle #2 of trying again. It’s even more frustrating now than it was after the first surgery and 6 month wait. I wish you much luck in your journey to have baby #2. Your faith is very inspiring and I think I’ll be bookmarking this post to read when I am particularly down about TTC. You are not alone!
I totally understand your frustration. My hubby and I have been trying 8 months as well. I found out I have PCOS (have problems ovulating) and it was a devastating thing to hear. But it worked out to be a blessing. My husband got a wonderful opportunity to go back to school and study something he has always wanted to. Its only a year and a half program, so we have put off trying to start a family for a while. I think its a good thing. I can spend more time trying to lose weight and do more house projects and save for a car, and support my husband going back to school. I don’t think we would have been able to afford this if we were pregnant now or if we already had a child, so sometimes you don’t realize what Gods plans are. Its hard though, because two good friends and my Sister in Law have all announced their pregnancies. I am happy for them, but my heart still longs for a child. All in time. God Bless you Katie!
I needed this too, just like everyother commenter. It has only really been 3 cycles that I can say we really tried which is nothing, but I will say last month was devastating to me. Now I just need to calm myself down until next week to see if it was a good month or not.
We are trying to have a baby (our first) and I have PCOS… it’s frustrating to no end, and I have no patience, and those pee sticks get more expensive every time I buy them for no reason. But this letter to yourself pretty much sums up exactly how I feel. Let go and Let God is our current motto, but it is super hard to remember that sometimes! Good luck with baby number 2 and enjoy every moment until then! 🙂
Katie-
What a great post! This is so applicable to ALL aspects of life. Trusting God’s timing is one of the most crucial but difficult tasks we as Christians face. My husband and I are contemplating “pulling the goalie” for our first child. It has been difficult weighing the pros and cons and deciding on the timing WE think is best- when in reality we know trusting in the Lord is ultimately the way to go. Your post help me level set my brain to remember what is important- the here and now. One of my worst traits is looking for the next thing without first enjoying what I have in the present. You’re writing is beautiful and your honesty is inspiring. Thanks for sharing and helping others with similar challenges!
All the Best-
Jessica
I absolutely LOVE you Katie Bower!! your letter to yourself was so sweet and so true! God knows the desires of your heart and in his perfect timing he will give you your hearts desire. (according to his will) I will keep you in my prayers. 🙂
Hi Katie,
I didn’t read all of your comments so I am not sure if others commented on the subject of the ovulation kit. I used it to get pregnant 2 years ago. We tried for four months to get pregnant on our own and I was growing increasingly impatient so I read TONS of reviews and research on the kit and decided to bite the bullet and purchase it. Most of the reviews I read said that it would work on the second month and wouldn’t you know that after two months of using the thing, I got pregnant. It accurately tells you when you are ovulating and when are other opportune times to try and conceive. I have the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor and you have to buy the test strips separately but that is about a 3 month supply. I will use it when we decide to have our second child as well. I highly recommend it. I believe in God’s plan for you and pray that you find peace during this time. Best of luck!
Thank you Katie for the reminder of God’s sovereignty. Whether we are waiting for marriage, or babies, or anything. God has a plan and he is in control. And he is working all things for your good! Waiting is for our good! He is molding us and shaping us to be more like Christ. And while it is hard. Waiting is so hard. I know that he is preparing us for what he has next. I am thankful for a God who is in control, a God who knows what is best for us, and a God who doesn’t give us everything we want. And isn’t it amazing to read through these comments and know that you are not alone. Its just a waiting season. And in his perfect timing he will give you your next child, and he will give me what he has next for me, whether its marriage or more singleness. Thank you for the reminder to rest in his plan.
This is so good! U know that god has a wonderful plan and i love that u talk your way through it. I do that too. Its hard to wait for what we want so badly but keep pressing on. Gods timing really is perfect. But u know that already 😉
Katie,
I’m the least patient person of all time so I’ve got you beat there (ask my husband he’ll tell you I act like a whiny two year old constantly). I’m so sorry you’re having to play the waiting game (it’s a game I always loose). It always seems that the waiting is for a reason and God always knows better than me. Many times my waiting always leads to something better for me but the journey to get there is frustrating. Hang in there, positive thoughts heading your way and I’ll keep you in my prayers to the big guy 😉
Trust your gut-if it feels like something is “off,” go see your OB-GYN, because frankly,
eight months really IS a long time, especially if you are closer to 40 than 20.
I’ll spare you my war stories from the infertility battlefield, but eventually I won-my twins are going to be 26 on Dec 26. Yes, I was in early labor on Christmas Day 1985, but I didn’t want to miss out on a fabby Italian Christmas day meal…even if I did have to eat standing up!
I always thought pregnancy would happen right away as well. I have spent my whole marriage trying to avoid it, so it should totally happen the first month. Right? My husband and I went back in forth on the right time to “start trying” and after really praying about it one day, God very clearly told me that I don’t get to decide. He proved that to me by making me wait a long time! I’m finally expecting my first son in February. All things work together for the good of those who love Him. I will absolutely pray for you, your family, that precious little boy you have now, and the future children that God may choose to give you. I will pray that God gives you the faith needed to make it through this tough time.
And dollar tree tests totally work… 🙂
Katie. Love your blog. Just wondering, why are you in such a rush for another one? I am 10 years older then you and had my first of 3 children in my 30’s…..These toddler years go by soooo fast..Enjoy the time with Wil now and all of the cute little things he does….If he’s meant to have a brother or sister, it will happen. Maybe not right away, maybe right away, but it will happen. I’m totally not saying this will happen to you…….. but I have friends who were so quick to have another, then another, then another very close together. They always looked so stressed——they absolutely LOOOVE their children, but some have said if tehre was a way to go back in time, and still have the same exact children, they would’ve waited a while after the first one…My close friend said that it was so easy with 1, but when 2 and 3 came along, when they were so close together, it got so crazy and hectic, it was hard to really soak in each toddler’s years since they were running around after them all the time. Again, I’m totally not saying it will happen to you, but just trying to say, enjoy it now, don’t worry about it, and one day it will happen.
Ps–how many kids do you plan on having if it’s ok for me to ask.
It took us 8 months to get pregnant with my now 16 month old son. I remember, even after the first couple months, being terrified there was something wrong, some reason I wasn’t getting knocked up from my husband “just looking at me”, like a lot of my friends. Now I know that it was all in God’s timing, which, of course, was perfect. And once you do get pregnant and have that new baby, you’ll be so glad for THAT baby, at THAT time. Good luck!
I never comment on stuff but wanted to let you know that this was totally what I needed to hear. I got pregnant with our 2 yr. old w/out trying and now that we are trying for another I feel all consumed with it. I trust God’s perfect timing but I have little patience. Thanks for shaking me out of my selfishness, totally needed it. I’ll probably read this post daily as a reminder to enjoy my daughter- tantrums, sloppy kisses, and all. Thanks!
Thanks for wearing your heart (and your faith) on your sleeve, Katie! Saying a prayer now for your patience and renewed faith in God’s timing through this time (and your fertility too!)
Amen, Emily! You are in my prayers.
Thank you. Seriously. Thank you. I can’t even tell you how much I needed this today. Praying for you guys.
Katie,
I read your blog all the time and have never commented….but this really touched me. My husband and I tried for 7 months to have our first…it was stressful and frustrating because no one would talk to us until we had tried for a year…which they said should be doing the deed every other day….WOW was this stressful!!!! We also decided not to tell friends or family and carrying the secret weighed heavy on our relationship.
On the 8th month…It was a success!!! I am now 28 weeks with our first baby…a boy (who i hope is as fun as will!)
Everything happens for a reason…sometimes the reason is just hard to see.
As a side note in month 6 I started drinking raspberry leaf tea daily and tried the ovulation strips they sell on Amazon (40 strips and 10 pregnancy ones for 10 bucks!!! I recommend trying them and saving money 🙂 ) I dont know if this is what helped or it just happened to give me engough faith!
Good Luck!!!
I am getting so blessed reading these comments. Your last paragraph speaks straight to my heart Abby.
Spoiler Alert: They grow up to be teenagers!
I’m praying for you, please pray for me.
Mom of 2 teenagers
We have. I never had the desire to adopt until having walked down this road. Not being able to get pregnant like I thought I would has definitely opened my eyes to other means of having children. But there is still something inside of me that wants to have my own children first. I really believe that God is going to give me my own children. And I know so many stories of people that finally did adopt and then BAM, they got pregnant! Now that could totally happen to us as well, but as of right now, I don’t feel peace about adopting just yet. That may change, but right now, I still feel God telling me to just trust him and wait.
Hey Katie, I hope the kind words from your readers have brought you some peace today. You seriously have the sweetest commenters! I just wanted to put in a word of recommendation for my OB-GYN Dr. Eliza Bruscato. She has a practice right next to Northside Hospital in Atlanta, but you couldn’t a more patient, kind, or experienced partner for your health. She has been like a smart, funny big sister to me, and she will take you by the hand and help calm your nerves and explain every step of the process. Here is her number if you decide to give her a call. (404) 256-4144
Good luck, I know sweet baby #2 will come at just the right time. Sending my love your way!!
At 19 I got married at the same time as two other couples from my church. My husband and I wanted to finish school, buy a little house and enjoy couplehood for a few years before having children. The two other couples were pregnant exactly five minutes after the wedding. I felt like a bad Christian because I wasn’t “trusting God” and “doing it the way nature intended”, but I knew we were NOT ready. One Sunday our pastor preached on the topic. He basically said if you don’t want to use hormonal birth control, or other birth control for that matter, fine. However, understand that it is in your hands then. He said shunning reliable methods is actually testing God, which is not biblical. I felt completely reassured that my husband and I were making the right decision. We enjoyed so many happy times and now, at age 30, I’m thrilled to have two young children and aren’t getting ready for middle school like we see our friends doing.
I just wanted to let you know that speaking from experience, everything you are feeling is OK to be feeling. The want to have a family can be so strong sometimes, and when it doesn’t work out the way you had hoped it can be a very emotional road to walk down.
Pregnancy is seen as such an innocent thing, but truth is I have no idea how any woman gets pregnant, after all I have been through and all I have heard other woman have been through, I have concluded getting pregnant is hard work. Feeling sad, angry, frustrated, even guilty about not getting pregnant as soon as you thought you would is a completely natural way to feel. And NOT wanting to take that next step and admit that maybe something is not working, going to see an OBGYN, buying the ovulation tests, tracking your cycles etc etc, is also natural, and something that I struggled with for 2 years.
But once I did admit that hubby and I might need some outside “help”, I was able to find out what the problem was, and able to find a solution that so far is working well.
It will happen, you will have another child if thats’ what you want to do, you will figure it out somehow, someway you will have the family you are ment to have.
I won’t offer you silly platitudes like, “just relax and it will happen” or “maybe God doesn’t think you can handle it yet” – how stupid is that?! God doesn’t work that way… if He did, the prostitute in the city strung out on crack wouldn’t have four children at home to feed.
Sorry you’re going through this, Katie. I pray your wait is short, and you have a joyous pee fest on many sticks soon. 🙂
We are also waiting on our first – 16 years and counting… praying God uses the miracle of adoption to fill our arms – and soon!
CRAZY! I’d never heard of this before!
I have heard of many (many many) people having sucess with a lube called “Preseed”
Katie,
So sorry you’re having to go through this. It’s terrible. 15 months and counting for us. In that time, there have been 3 doctors (4th doctor coming up in 10 days), 5 blood tests, countless pee sticks, and more temperature charts than I care to mention. I’m with everyone else – if you haven’t read it already, you HAVE to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. If it weren’t for that book, my sister would never have known that she ovulates late in her cycle – she was having trouble getting pregnant and now has two beautiful children. If it weren’t for that book, I would never have known that I don’t ovulate at all – I’m now being treated for PCOS and a thyroid disorder.
I’m not trying to drum up sympathy. I’m trying to encourage you to be an advocate for yourself. I first saw my OBGYN after only 3 months of difficulty trying. Don’t let them tell you to wait 12 months trying naturally before they step in. Quite honestly, with some people, that’s not going to help anything. It didn’t with me, and I am grateful to God for a doctor who listened and treated aggressively and sent me to specialists. Now, I’m merely 10 days away from seeing one of the best REs in the country.
One of the hardest things to do is remain positive. I stick with prayer and daily affirmations. It WILL happen. I WILL be a mother. I WILL have my family. Not trying to be weird stalker girl, but feel free to contact me (you have my email!) if you just want to chat or vent or talk about cervical mucus together. It makes things so much easier to talk with someone else who understands. 🙂
Love your honesty, Katie. It’s hard to understand God sometimes but I believe He is using you to connect with and encourage hundreds of women. Praying for you and your family!
Ahhhh, Katie… a feeling I know all too well. I had a miscarriage when I was anything but old enough to be pregnant, let alone a mom. When I met Paul we wanted one right away and it took us 3 years to get pregnant with Gunner. I was a nervous wreck the entire trying time that I had been damaged during my previous pregnancy. After Gunner was born (6.5 years ago) we decided that we wanted to be pregnant with another baby when Gunner was 6 months old… and well… Layken just had her very first birthday and they are 6 years apart. Not at all what we had planned, but that’s how HE had it planned out.
Looking back, we had such tremendous circumstances going on that there it would have been a huge burden to add a 2nd child into the mix. Looking back, that miscarraige was a miracle that I couldn’t see until many years later. There is nothing that anyone can say to make you feel better or change the circumstances.
Praying for you. He does have a plan =)
XOXO
Add me to the list. It took us 8 months, and this book helped tremendously. I charted, temped, everything…eight months later, my temperature spiked…and stayed up. I took the test and fast forward…just put my three month son to bed. That book is invaluable.
I’m going through the exact same thing right now trying to get pregnant with my first… I never NEVER knew I was this impatient! I guess we just have to wait : )
Katie,
I never comment on blogs, but for some reason I’m commenting on your post! I read your blog everyday and know exactly what you describe in this post. My husband and I will be married for 10 years in November and we always knew we wanted a BIG family. We never were on any birth control and it’s still just the 2 of us. I know exactly how you feel right now and want to remind you that God gives you enough grace to make it through today, and then enough grace to make it through tomorrow and so on. I can honestly say this after 9 1/2 years. I never thought i would make it 2 years, but somehow, God is still sweet to me even though I haven’t gotten what I want. I have a wonderful husband who loves the Lord with all his heart and serves him fully every day. I have a great family who is praying right along with us, and their faith gets me thru!
Stay faithful to God and find joy in him! I know you already know this, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone who has been right were you are and passed it and still loves God even when he still says “wait.”
Lots of Love and Prayers,
Bethany
I’m going through the same thing right now, Kaite. Except we’re still trying for our first. That whole “leaving the timing up to God” thing? Yeah, just as hard for me as it seems to be for you. So is the pregnant-girl envy thing too. 🙂 It was sooo nice to read this post tonight and know that someone else out there is going through the same emotional struggles I am. Thank you so, so much.
We pulled the goalie after our little guy turned 1. We tried for a year unsuccessfully. We miscarried. We cried a lot. Then, we decided to stop counting days and tracking.
I got pregnant.
I was told I’d never get pregnant. Ever.
I’m awaiting my little girl’s arrival in January.
Hugs!
Don’t think I’ve ever commented before but thank you for sharing this – I can’t tell you how much I appreciated knowing that I’m not the only one in this “ready now” boat! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this. I cannot imagine how vulnerable you must feel! I just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and your family and hoping you are at peace and full of hope for Bower 2.
I have been there, Katie! I know eight months seems like an eternity, and when you’re waiting, it is. Eight months can seem like forever, and seeing others “growing” is just a reminder of what you want. And doesn’t it seem like everyone is now pregnant, and “wasn’t even trying!”
Hang in there, girl!
We would have pre-teens if we had babies when we first started trying, but instead we have a three year old angel from China, and God knew exactly what He was doing, she is perfect for our family in every way. 🙂
Hugs!
If you have good reason to suspect an issue they will test sooner. But good reason is like signs of polycystic ovarian syndrome (that was my problem.) We were trying 9 months, I was charting, peeing on ovulation tests and pregnancy tests to no avail. The only good thing is from the charting and all my reading (a dangerous thing, it’s easy to freak yourself out) I started to suspect there was a problem. Sidenote, if you go 3 months without a period and you are not pregnant, the OBGYN will see you for a “problem” appointment. They (or mine) usually use 3 months as the line for something weird is going on.
My charting was indicating that I was not ovulating, I was getting weird results on the ovulation tests, but I had not been trying a year. I knew something was wrong but felt I couldn’t see a doctor yet because it had not yet been a year. My stroke of “good” luck was that around 8 months I was late but not pregnant and I kept saying, if you just got 90 days unpregnant sans period you can see the doctor now instead of waiting another 3 months. That’s how it played out. Yes, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. Just goes to show, trust your gut.
However…we started testing with the fertility specialist, just to make sure the only problem between the two of us was my ovaries so we could start a treatment plan, and bam! God has a very, very funny sense of humor sometimes. I count my lucky stars once I stopped worrying about it (my failure to conceive was no longer my problem it was my doctor’s) I managed to get pregnant on my own. Very lucky since those specialists are expensive and not usually covered under insurance.
I’m not trying to minimize the struggles of those of us who need help or those who don’t or any of that. Just try to relax, do what you tell yourself and trust that when the time is right it will happen, and if you think something is really wrong then do trust yourself and see a doctor – even non-fertility issues. Just trust your instincts and your faith in God.
By the way, peeonastick.com is the best site I’ve seen on the subject of ovulation and pregnancy testing. Makes you smile. And those ovulation tests? Try dollar store or online, you should be able to get them cheaper. They are worth it for peace of mind sometimes.
Me too. It took me 2.5 years to get pregnant with my daughter. I finally resolved to the fact that I was never going to have children and gave up. I planned a huge vacation but couldn’t go because I got pregnant the next month.
It’s so hard to wait though. My prayers are with you.
Angel
I totally understand where you’re coming from. My husband and I have only been trying for 4 months but after trying for two months we got our BFP….followed quickly by a miscarriage 4 days later. Devastating to say the least. Now we’re trying again and staying hopeful that this time will be different!
I secretly seethe inside when I see a pregnant woman just out of jealousy…but I know everything happens for a reason. Until then…I stay away from watching Teen Mom because that throws into a bat sh*t crazy fit. =)
Great things take time. =)
Katie, I am saying a prayer for you! Not sure if anyone has mentioned it, but the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” is amazing. That, combined with working with a fertility specialist (for a problem that good timing just couldn’t fix) helped us have our beautiful baby boy. Hang in there, my dear!
I am so sorry for your struggle and only hope that something good happens soon. My heart aches for those great mothers and parents that can’t seem to get pregnant. I understand that not getting something that your heart is set on is so hard. Best wishes!!!
My hubs and I have been trying for months. We have no kids currently and no one knows we are trying. I have a ton of the same feelings. Thanks for the reminder to stop feeling bad and trust in God. Now if I can just remember that… 🙂
We want four. Ideally we would be parents to four by 2017. So that means in the next five years, we would want three more babies. I know this sounds crazy to most everyone but Jeremy wants them all before 40 and that would mean I would stay lower risk for pregnancies because of my age. We always said that we would wait till Will was walking before even talking about pregnancy…so we took it as a sign to get started when he took his first steps at almost 10 months old. It’s not so much that I want to miss anything or be so stressed that I can’t soak it in…believe me, I don’t…it’s just our dream as crazy as it may seem.
xo – kb
Yes…the “just relax” thing only works for some. So many people said it to us and it was downright maddening. I wish we would have gotten to the RE sooner. So sorry for your painful experience. Took 4 years, 50 shots in my gut, countless daily blood draws, insane amounts of drugs, 4 surgeries, etc. etc. etc. Infertility blows…unexplained here too.
Like Julie said, I bet it’ll happen for you since you have awfully cute “proof” that it’s happened before. 😉
They do work – that’s how I found out i was preggers the 2nd time around :O)
We have…but we want to finish making our biological kids first before welcoming adoptive children home.
xo – kb
Well, having “been there and done that” I won’t tell you all the things about relaxing and just not worrying about it or give you any advice. The truth is, well, you already know the truth. God’s timing is perfect. When it happens, you will know that had it happened at any other time, it wouldn’t have been the right time.
We pulled the goalie a couple days before I got diagnosed with cancer. So, we sent the goalie back in. Multiple goalies in fact. We had no kids yet. I had a 30% chance of ever conceiving after chemo. We were pregnant 5 months after they allowed us to pull the goalie again. Had it happened any sooner, it would’ve been under very trying circumstances. God’s timing is perfect. Praying for you as you wait on His timing.
Dr. Houston who delivers at Northside. She is amazing and so easy to talk to. I truly love her. Might be worth giving a call. Chin up. That clock ticking is so hard to ignore but, like you said. Little will be gone before you know it.
Prayers headed your way!! We are trying for number 2 also. It has been 14 months. I have an ob appt in a couple weeks. You post took the word right out of my mouth!!! I totally know how you feel!
The dollar tree has pregancy tests. I have stopped testing because I get too sad if I see a negative, but they are great and I bought like 10 last time I went :O)
Your honesty is refreshing. I have a saying that helps me with seeking God’s will in my life:
“Whatever you focus on becomes big.” You are figuring out that you have focused so much on this “trying” that is has gotten bigger than some “right here” blessings.
This lesson is such a great one to learn…one that you will have the privilege to teach Will as he grows up to be a man of God.
Our boys are 4 1/2 years apart. We tried for 3 years between them….even considering buying stock in whomever made those darn EPTs. (Didn’t know about the Dollar Store version at the time.) Looking back, now that they are both teen agers (egads!) …we would not change our family structure for anything. We wanted them closer together…God had a better plan for all of us. I don’t know what God is doing in your family – as far as the timing and the size that it will be – but I do know that Ge has great intentions of guiding you and blessing your family.
Praying for straight paths for you and yours. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
I have told myself these exact same things. For me it’s been 18 months, but only 11 months since I stopped breastfeeding. Beautifully written and a good reminder to love what you have got.
Katie – like many of your other readers, I too had a hard time getting pregnant. We tried ourselves for a year, then went for tests, then tried clomid and artificial insemination and finally with clomid try #2 (and about 1 1/2 yrs of trying) we had our first daughter. SO HAPPY! Then 2 years later we decided to try for baby number 2. After 3 months of nothing on our own, we went back to specialist and did another 6 months of clomid/artificial insemination. That Christmas morning I found out I was NOT pregnant yet again and decided that was it – I had had enough and couldn’t go thru it anymore. We had a beautiful baby girl and were lucky to have her and maybe that was meant to be for us. We planned to fix up the family room with our tax refund. BAM! Next month – totally not trying – we got pregnant! Another baby girl and we are so happy. BTW – still haven’t been able to fix up the family room but so worth it!
And yes, it’s hard to put it aside and not think about it. It’s hard to just appreciate baby number 1 and not wish for what you don’t have. I did that many times and feel so bad now, but we’re human after all. Keep praying to God – asking for his strength – it worked for me! And yes, it will happen in his time when it’s meant to happen. Until then – know that we are all praying for you and wishing you the best. I pray you have moments during your day where you can put it aside if even for a moment or two 🙂
i am going through the exact same thing. so i know how you feel! the only difference is that at least you already have one! lucky girl. we are trying for our first, and 7 months later still no luck. and now it seems that pregnant friends and family members are popping up everywhere! don’t get how it’s so easy for them… but my time will come and yours will too 🙂 have fun trying!
Katie, thank you! You read my mind. My husband & I have been trying for 4 months and it is torture. I work in a high school and it is torture to see teenagers walking the halls pregnant (and they are NOT trying to be). It feels like they are flaunting it and that I am not. It kills me, but I am trying not to think about it so I can move on with my days. I am hanging in there with you.
What a powerful story. It instantly brought tears to my eyes. God is good, indeed!
hey Katie. i don’t really have a pregnancy story or any advice in that specific way, but more about allowing God’s control in our lives…….that’s where the real struggle we have in this world is, right? have you ever read “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan? not about pregnancy at all, but it’s really opened my eyes about control and how little of it we do have and what freedom comes in giving it all to God (which is kind of funny to say, considering it’s his already 🙂 ). anyways- it’s an awesome read…..encouraging, inspiring, challenging, and life-changing. knowing the CRAZY LOVE he has for us (and i know you already know it), but learning more about it, opening our hearts more to it……can truly change everything. 🙂
thank-you for sharing your beautiful heart!
Katie–I TOTALLY understand. We tried for about 6 months this time. I have a 1 1/2 year (similar to you I guess) but I want a few kids and I want them close together so I was starting to get frustrated it was taking so long…..6 months…LOL. But now I am 9 weeks pregnant. Just when I decided it was going to take forever (and yes I know people it has taken years for or who can’t but still)…I got that precious test result!! Yippee!! Hang in there Katie. I will say a prayer for you. Give that cutie pie some snuggles.
Katie – We started trying for our second child when our oldest daughter was 3 years old – she is now 14 and our baby is 21 months – yes, it took 9 years to have another child, and our girls are 12 1/2 years apart in age. We had given up hope and given away all our baby things figuring God knew we could only handle one child. I joked that I would probably get pregnant when I turned 40 – and I did 2 weeks before my 40th birthday! It’s certainly not what we planned – to have one child graduating high school and the other starting kindergarten in the same year, but it’s joyful and wonderful and exactly what God wanted for us. You are right – let go and let God – it’s the best thing you can do!
Hurry! Buy this book!
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318387175&sr=8-1
Forgive me for this, but you don’t need an ovulation test kit. You just need to learn to check your undies. Egg white cervical mucus = go time 🙂
DOLLAR TREE!!! The tests aren’t fancy, but they WORK!!! 🙂
I will be praying. Waiting and trusting God can be hard (really hard!). I know it’s easier said than done. Thankfully, His plan is bigger and better than our plan. In the meantime, enjoy EVERY minute with your little man. I am confident that you’ll get pregnant soon. 😉
Pre-seed? It works, have not been on birth control of any kind since my son was born (15 months ago). Thought I would let nature take its course this time. HOWEVER, pre-seed worked before so maybe it will next month? Good luck!
It’s usually the other way around, but this post made me cry until I laughed.
Praying, praying for all of you who, like Katie, are patiently waiting… Rest in Him.
Katie ~I’m in the same boat as you, we are going on 8 months of trying to get pregnant for the first time and it is very frustrating! Everyone around us is pregnant and keeps looking at us like why aren’t you pregnant not realizing that things take time for people. Each month I have take a step back and think of Gods plan and how he knows what he’s doing and realizes that now isn’t the perfect timing. Your post is beautiful and really explains how a lot of us feel. thanks for opening up about this because I do know its hard to talk about and your not alone. Just keep at it and have fun! 🙂
I just wanted you to know that I appreciate what you wrote. I just got online and realized I hadn’t checked out a few of my favorite blogs recently and yours was the first one I came to. When I started reading your entry for today the tears just welled up in my eyes. I felt like you were talking directly to me. I have been going through something similar and struggling with the fact thAt i haven’t been able to get pregnant yet. My husband and I have been struggling with this and every time we talk about it we have to constantly Remind ourselves that God is in control and it will happens when it happens and not sooner. This is difficult to accept at times and sometimes I feel like I’m making excuses. However, every Sunday I find myself on my knees at mass praying and the tears just pour down my face. This past Sunday was the most difficult yet and for reasons Im not even aware of. However, what I do believe is that God lead me to your blog today so that I may read your words of encouragement. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a bit of a pep talk to confirm that things really are going to be ok and that everything happens for a reason. Well Katie, today, not only have you talked yourself down but you have talked me down. I appreciate that more than you know. I’ve only been following your blog for less than a year now but I love hearing about your DIY things and of course will. I never thought I’d get some words of encouragement on a more personal level but I did and I just wanted you to know that your words have touched my heart. I’m not fully at peace with my situation, but I feel a little better. Of course it’s hard when everyone around you is pregnant or has kids and all you have is a dog, but there has to be a purpose for my empty nest at the moment. I may not know the reason why now and I may never know why, I just have to believe that He is in control and today you have helped me reaffirm that thought. Thank you Katie. Thank you.
Yep, Dollar Store tests. I have them stockpiled 🙂
Love this post! I could have written this 6 years ago.
Do go see an OBGYN. Read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility,
and trust God.
I have come back to your post probably 5 times today. Thank you for posting. You have helped soo many of us realize today that we are not alone. Not only by your post, but by the plethora of supporting comments that followed. There are heart wrenching days- for sure… but you helped put it in perspective a bit for me today. I actually feel a sense of much needed relief. Praying for all of you/us!
Dear Katie,
i know how it feels, when everyone near you seems getting pregnent, and you just look at them and want to have that beautiful feeling again. i am too going through same period. i have got 4 years old boy, for four years we were sure that we dont wanna have another baby, but i dont know what triggered but it has been 6 months and everyday on my mind is when will i see positive strip. i pray for you and for all the mothers who are just waiting for this happy news. i consider myself really lucky that atleast i have got one boy so i am sure, second time is not going to be difficult. just wait for some time and relax… even i need to say for myself too… :)… hope for the best
Like many other readers, I can relate to everything you wrote. I hope that you get the baby you are hoping for, and that you find a way to be at peace with waiting for that baby’s arrival.
I would like to encourage you to start searching for an ob/gyn. Even if it turns out there’s nothing that needs diagnosing, fertility-wise, it really makes a difference to have someone you can trust to turn to when you have questions or concerns. And, as someone else pointed out, even if your new ob/gyn says she/he won’t see you till you’ve been trying for a year, if you pick someone now, you can make an appointment now and not have to worry about having to wait for an appointment to be available if you reach that one-year mark. (And you totally may be pregnant well before then — but you can always cancel the appointment.)
Best of luck to you. And thank you for sharing your feelings so honestly and openly.
My only advice would be 1) get on folic acid (doctors say it’s good to be on that before conceiving), 2) have your man always wear boxer shorts, 3) have sex on the 11th, 13th, 15th, and 17th days after the first day of your period, 4) right after sex, throw those legs and hips up in the air as if you are going to ride a bike. Stay in that position for about 5 minutes. Good Luck To Ya!
Taking Charge of Your Fertility recommends Mucinex too!
Thank you for sharing your letter… I’m crying right now. I’m trying to accomplish everything in life EXCEPT get pregnant (for now) and it’s so hard to be patient and remember that all we can do is our best, then give it up to God. As much as I am a control-freak I have to remember that I’m not the one always calling the shots. Thank you again and all my best to you and yours.
I peed on like a million sticks – seriously should have bought stock 😉 It’s like you said – He knows your heart and your desires – He put them there. 8 months isn’t that long- but while most ob/gyns don’t talk fertility until 12 months you may want to have your normal doc run some blood tests- like maybe check your thyroid levels. When I was trying to get preggo the 1st time I found out my thyroid was underactive which was causing my fertility issues. I started taking medicine to regulate my thyroid and 4 months later – bam – preggo! No trouble getting preggo the 2nd time. Anyhow- just wanted to throw that out there not to freak you out or anything because like I said 8 months really isn’t a long time. You’ll get preggo before you know it and then you’ll wish you waited longer to have another – ha! Mine are 25 months apart and half the time I think – why on Earth did we have them this close?!
Aw, Katie, I feel ya. We tried for 7 months to get pregnant with our second. If you get to a point where you want a little more control over the situation, I recommend the Wondfo ovulation strips they sell on Amazon. You can get 50 for less than $10. Then you can test once or twice a day and not feel guilty about the price.
Hang in there.
I get you. I’ve been there. And if you want someone to drink sweet iced tea and stomp your feet with and curse the uteruses that are slow to conceive, then come to San Diego. We’ll do those things. Because as much as “relax” and “don’t worry” and “God knows best” are true, they don’t make you feel better. And let’s be honest, sometimes you need to stomp your feet and wave your fists. Hey, it works for toddlers.
So sorry you are having to deal with this stress Katie! I have a friend that is going through the same thing right now, trying for baby #2, only she is going on 11 months with no luck.
I don’t have any babies yet. We are probably going to start trying next year, but for some reason I have this crazy feeling that it’s not going to happen for us right away either. I have had a few female medical problems, so I’m nervous that it’s going to take forever – or not happen at all. I keep trying to convince the hubs that we should start trying sooner rather than later, because it could take a loooong time. He’s too scared though.. he thinks he’s still a kid himself even though he’s 31! GAHH!! 🙁
Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers. Just try not to worry about it too much and it will happen…I’m sure of it!!
Oh Katie wow! Sometimes we need to give ourselves a good talking to and how courageous you are to do that publicly!
I have been praying for you just this morning that God will give you patience and a child in his timing (I guess I should have added that he will help to change your will and timing to align with his!)
Enjoy Will, he seems like such a treasure!!
Good luck to you Katie.
I finally gave getting pregnant to God and decided we would just move on with life. I didn’t think it was going to happen – ever. After 10 years I i finally get a positive pregnancy test — and now 6 years later from that wonderful day, I have 3 perfect kids, a quiet 6 year old, a spunky 4 year old and a sweet 3 month old. At 38 years old, I know that the timing wasn’t mine, it was all God’s timing. Prayers, love and hugs to you…
Kelly C.
This is just heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss Danielle, and for your son losing his daddy. *hugs* I can’t even begin to imagine.
Wow, Danielle I am so sorry to hear about your husband. That has been my worst fear from the moment I fell in love with my husband. In my chaotic, “what if…” mind I too have said if that has to happens AT LEAST let me be pregnant. I often justified my “what ifs..” as a way to prepare myself. Got to love control freaks.
I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. And although I have practiced in my head 1000 times, its not the same. But my heart breaks for you and your sweet precious baby boy.
I know there is a season of grieving and putting some kind of life back together that will be hard and take time but I believe the Lord will show you that He is still in control and has a perfect plan in place for you and your family.
Hi Katie,
Here is a link to my post about the same thing: http://melodyjmartin.wordpress.com/2011/10/12/the-end-of-a-project-and-a-tangent/
Thanks for posting about this. It was a huge encouragement to so many.
Katie, your poignant letter reminded me of Esther in the Bible. (I’m in the middle of a Beth Moore study.) So Esther was chosen to be queen, even though she was secretly Jewish. The king’s top official issued an edict that all Jews be “annihilated.” Here’s God’s perfect timing- News of the edict went out to all of the kingdom on Passover, the day the Jews celebrated God’s deliverance in Egypt. It may not have been much consolation in the moment, but I’m sure the people looked back after their own deliverance and made the connection.
Esther was placed in her position for exactly that moment in time. God has placed you on earth at this time (although you would have livened up even the 1920’s) for your current position as daughter, sister, wife, mother, and encourager to all these blog followers.
Katie
I don’t ever comment, but I read your blog daily. My husband and I have been “trying” for about 3 months now (for the first grandbaby for either of our parents). I was 2 weeks late and was SURE it had happened for us. I waited until our anniversary to officially pee on the stick. And, you know what it said? Negative. I was sad and didn’t beleive it. Now, a week later, and a blood test and a few talks with my doctor, she’s got me on Provera to “force” my period to come. We aren’t pregnant, and I was very sad. So, I guess all of this is to say Thank You for your post. I needed that. And, its strange to find comfort in a friend I’ve never met, but for some reason, that’s what I felt this morning and I read what you’d written.
Thanks for helping to recenter me and remind me that it will all happen in good time. And, for afirming that I”m not the only crazy one with crazy thoughts!!
I could have written this myself! While it hasn’t been 8 months, its still been longer than it was with my daughter, and several of those months, my husband has been away during the “key time of the month” which is super frustrating as well. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and hopefully we will both see good things from the next stick we pee on! (Ahem!)
Oh Katie I remember crying tears of jealousy when you announced your first pregnancy (I hate that green monster) now I’m crying tears of understanding as I am in the same situation as you. We are currenting “working” on number 2 and working on living in the verse “Be still and know that I am God”
Like many have said Taking Charge of your Fertility is amazing. Also if you feel like something is off I would recommend trusting your gut. I ended up finding that I have a hormone imbalance that makes it hard for me to sustain pregnancies and get pregnant.
Love, thoughts, and prayers are going your way!
Katie,
I read you blog all the time, but have never commented. I just found out yesterday that for the 34th time in a row, I am indeed NOT PREGNANT. I have a hard time listening to you complain about 8 months, however, I know I started complaining around month 5 and always kinda assumed that I was being overly dramatic because it was bound to happen sooner or later. But here I am 3 years later and finding it hard to even read some of my favorite blogs as the young families behind them keep getting pregnant. I am 28 and healthy with a 30 year old healthy husband. They can find nothing wrong and we just keep trying, we are almost done with IUI attempts and are getting ready to move to IVF, somewhere I never thought I would be. I’m not very religious, but I do believe everything happens for a reason, however facing the unknown is always scary. Telling you to hang in there is really my point. You will be amazed at all you can handle as you face things you never thought you would.
Absolutely beautiful!
I was just thinking to myself this morning, why did I tell everyone I know that I’m trying to get pregnant. It’s so awkward. Then I thought, well, Katie Bower did it too, so I’m not the only one who can’t keep a secret.
Anyway, I feel ya. Waiting is HARD.
You’ve gotten a lot of comments on this post, so this has probably been mentioned already – Have you been keeping track of your fertility signs? Google: taking charge of your fertility. I use the software to help me predict my ovulation to avoid pregnancy but it works both ways. It is good to know your body and what is normal for you. You will know more about when you are fertile and what signs to watch for.
Wow what a powerful story! Glad to hear things have turned around for them…..all you have to do is have faith in god and good things will come
I had no idea about this! I am totally going to try this! We have been trying for our first child for over a year now and I would rather try these remedies than have any procedures done.
I had a discussion with a complete stranger at a wedding over the weekend and she said she got pregnant after 12 years of infertility by taking B12. Apparently she had a B12 deficiency. So, I bought the B12 vitamin that comes in liquid form that you put under your tongue. I will try both methods this month and let you know if it works 😉
BTW – I too totally hate the “just relax” and “it will happpen when you stop thinking about it” comments!
Good luck Katie! It will happen for both of us when it is God’s timing. I totally believe that!
So, I will not tell you to relax or stop testing because I know how hard both of those things are to actually do. After 2 years (of testing at least 4 times per month), 2 heartbreaking miscarriages, and fertility treatments we finally got our little miracle princess! I cannot imagine not having HER as my baby…God knew that she would be our perfect little gift and we just had to wait it out and lean on Him through the roller coaster of emotions that we were going through. I will definitely add you to my prayer list because I understand that nothing about what you are going through is easy!
What a beautiful post and how lovely the comments have been. I am encouraged by everyone’s words and feeling very grateful that I read your post (twice now) Katie. I’m the youngest of four children. My mom had a miscarriage between each of us.
My oldest sister tried for 12 years to fall pregnant. With numerous tests, operations, treatments etc today she has two beautiful toddlers to love and enjoy. My other sister had three children within three years, although she too had endometriosis. I have been told I have the same condition as my oldest sister to a lesser degree. Now married, I have realised reading your comments that my hesistance to “try” is not because I don’t want children, I think it’s more of a “what if it doesn’t work?” and the concern of how I’ll manage dealing with it if struggling becomes a reality for me.
Reading all your comments I am encouraged by many of your stories and the reassurance that there are many ladies out there fighting the same fight. I’ll be praying for you as well as myself and doing everything possible to prepare my body for a baby. The rest I’ll leave in God’s hands 🙂
I was going to say the same thing as these lovely ladies. I think stressing makes it harder to happen. My sister is the same way and had a hard time getting pregnant. She tried and tried to make the timing just right, but when she finally let go (and actually wasn’t “trying”) she got pregnant. I know how it is to want it and want to plan it perfectly, but as you said, God is so good and knows us the best. Have fun with your boy and give him lots of attention while you can. It gets crazier once you add another. Good, but crazy. Good luck and don’t lose hope.
My husband and I were pregnant with our first and found out our baby had a chromsomal problem and would never survive, we decided to carry to term but only made it to 5 months and then lost her. We delivered in December. We have been trying every month since then. I chart (temp, it’s not that hard), I take ovulation tests. You can order them online super cheap (go to amazon and search for wondfo, they sell pregnancy tests too). We are now on cycle 10 with still no luck, it definitely consumes every part of me all day long. I have so much jealousy and pain when I see other pregnant women and babies. It’s a constant struggle and I find it very hard to just let go and trust God.
I definitely encourage you to make an appt with your ob. I had a feeling my body wasn’t quite ‘back to normal’ after delivering in December. My cycles were fairly regular, but pretty short (neither of which were actually normal for me). We dont have any fertility coverage, so my doctor cooperated and labeled it as ‘irregular cycles’ and ran some bloodwork. My prolactin levels cames back high (which is what is produced when you breastfeed, my milk never even came in) and that can cause ovulation to not happen (even though my ovulation tests were positive) or eggs to not be ‘mature’. We’re hoping that is the ‘only’ problem going on. We will be going to a specialist next week to get medication (which I hate having to do).
Oh, and can I just say (no offense to everyone else) but it doesn’t help me any when people say ‘just relax and drink a glass of wine’. I dont drink and I can’t relax when my body completley aches for a baby. Or ‘it will happen when you give up’, come on how can I give up on having a baby/family. We do plan to adopt one day, just haven’t started the process yet.
That’s really insightful. It makes me realize that I need to watch what I say, as well.
This made me think of an email I got from a single friend who was tired of being asked by older friends and relatives at weddings, “When are YOU getting married? Are you going to be next?” She swears that at the next funeral she is going to ask these same women, “So, are you going to be next?”
Even now, 14 years after I miscarried my first, it is still a relief for me to hear that other people were jealous, angry and depressed afterward. I was angry at and jealous of every pregnant woman, especially those who already HAD a child, and were trying to have more when I didn’t have any. And teens that got pregnant? Whew. My obgyn had approved a trip overseas when I was newly pregnant, saying, “If a trip to Europe was all it took to miscarry, parents would just send their pregnant teenagers over there!” I can’t tell you how many times I recalled that statement when I was hemmorhaging in a Belgian hospital, having a miscarriage at 14 weeks.
Anyway… I just wanted to thank you for being candid about your feelings. I didn’t hear that from people at the time, and I didn’t know how common and natural such feelings are.
Thank you….it looks like a lot of us needed to read your letter and refocus on ourselves.
Thanks for the reminder to myself too! Also, if you buy pee sticks at the Dolla Store, it’s not nearly as expensive. haha
That’s what happened to us. 5.5 years of trying. Adopted a son 3 years into it. Went on a family vacation 2.5 years later and just had fun. A couple weeks after being home, we found out we were pregnant. My baby just turned one and earned his Hawaiian name! Good luck to you and leave it to God. Or just go on a little getaway and relax and have fun!
Girlfriend, you are amazing. It’s so wonderful that you are handing this over to God because really, what else can you do about it? Faith is all that matters and his perfect plan is made just for us. I hope in the next few days & weeks you will be able to breathe a little easier and relax now that this weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.
Have you ever heard the joke about the poor man who prayed to the Lord, “Lord, please let me win the lottery!” And the Lord replied, “Buy a ticket!”
You are so right– every child is a gift from God, but girlfriend, we have to make sure that Mr. Sperm and Mrs. Egg meet up at the right time for their date!!
Put these in your Amazon cart today:
Taking Charge of Your Fertility:
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318449906&sr=8-1
Basal Digital Thermometer:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000533AY
Pregnancy Test Strips (25 strips for $5!!)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002YIQEQ
And lastly, sign up at http://www.fertilityfriend.com.
I got pregnant the month after tracking my temperature. It is SO easy, all natural, and it tells you exactly when you ovulate so you know exactly when you’re most fertile. There is so much misinformation out there, and every woman’s cycle is different. I honestly believe that I wouldn’t be pregnant right now if I hadn’t tracked my cycles (I’m due in 3 weeks). Also, if there really is a problem, your cycle history will be super important in helping your doctor identify what’s going on, which will help to avoid any unnecessary invasive tests. Many women just need some extra progesterone to help those fertilized eggs stick (The Taking Charge book explains all of this).
Have fun, fill that Amazon cart up, enjoy that beautiful baby, and I’ll be praying for you!
I’ve never read the book, but I just wanted to say that I laughed out loud when I read “that always made me want to throat punch someone”. Hillarious! I feel the same way when people tell me to just “relax”! Especially since there is something actually wrong with me and all of the relaxation in the world isn’t going to get me pregnant! 🙂
Katie –
I love your blog! I am going through the same internal conflict, and have been for about 6 months! We decided to “see what happens,” but so far, it’s just been a lot of money spent on pregnancy tests!
What a brave and lovely thing to do, Katie. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. We, as woman, have so much to receive from each other and with just one letter to yourself that you were generous to share with all, you have given hundreds, if not thousands of woman, support and a forum to share their support with you and others. Thank you for that. I always wanted children. I always pictured myself with four kids – three boys and the youngest a girl. I would dream about these children in such detail that I knew that I would know them instantly when they were born, and that I had been waiting all my life just to meet them. I was an elementray school teacher and was happiest when I was with my room of rowdy kids. Married at 25, my loving and incredible husband and I tried for 10 years to conceive and then, later, waited 5 years to adopt. When told in its entirety it is a story of sorrow and pain with all that transpired during that time. Many “almost there’ moments but always a twist in the road to forever change the outcome. But God was with me each step of the way. And through it all I thanked God for the gift of hope – hope which sustained me for many years. But after much prayer we knew our journey to become parents was over. I may never know why it was not God”s plan for me to become a mother. I am the youngest of six kids. I am the only childless one. I have twelve incredible nieces and nephews, many of whom are now young adults. We are blessed beyond our wildest dreams with the love of our extended family, and at family gatherings I hug them and kiss them way too much for their liking, and my siblings are generous to give me extra time with them, knowing how much I savor each and every moment with their amazing children. You will be blessed with more children, of that I am sure. You already know what to do – relax and bathe in all that you have, giving thanks and joy for that which is yours. And then, that which you want will come to you. It will be when you least expect it but when God perfectly knows you are the most ready. And all of these woman – to whom you give so much of yourself by sharing your words with us – will rejoice with you in your happy news! That day will come and we are all looking forward to it! In the meantime, we’ll just have to amuse ourselves with Will’s antics and your hilarious recounting of your boy’s (and boyfriend’s 🙂 adventures of life, love, and learning. Brave girl. stay the course for you have a legion of faithful women praying for you!!!
I sent the link to your letter to my best friend who herself has been trying to get pregnant (with her first) for the last six months. She feels similarly frustrated. She was so moved by your letter, and it helped her a lot to see God’s ways in her life, and let go (a little).
God Bless you as you wait patiently for His timing. Isn’t it funny that we think we’re in control? My husband and I have decided to let God have control of the womb and people ask us all the time; what if you have 20 kids? Well, not even one is promised! We do have one sweet sweet boy who turned 15 months today and if it was up to me I’d be a couple months pregnant and due in May! But nope and yes I keep peeing on dollars too!
Children are such a blessing and I understand your desire to have more! Hang in there and use this as a vehicle to grow your relationship with Jesus. He loves you!
Katie,
Thank you for this post. It is like you took the words out of my heart and put them on my screen. I know you wrote this for yourself but I hope you know how much helped others as well. Best of luck in your patient waiting.
Val
Love this post, love your heart.
Whelp girl, looks like lots of us are sympathizing with your situation. Truly, 8 months is nothing, it takes most couples at least a year so, find comfort in that.
My husband and I had our first without even trying, I mean, we were hitting the sheets but, the goalie was still well in place. Hadley just turned 4 and we have mow been trying for a year a a half with nothing, NADA, so, I feel your pain. I thought it would take nothing for us to get pregnant since our first go around was a complete surprise. Needless to say this attempt has been humbling, I’m very type A when I want something done, it gets done. As you are finding out, it’s on gods time and I’m just hoping he hits our house, your house and the many posts houses SOON. I do was well cringe every time someone gets pregnant, in the time. Have been trying 7 of my closest friends have become pregnant and loads of family and other friends have become pregnant. I now have become the person that people pull aside to tell me when they are pregnant, and really, that’s the worst feeling. I guess they think they are saving me from something but, really it hurts worse.
So, hang in their with all of us. I have decided if it happens it happens and it will be amazing but, if it doesn’t I have to find peace in that for the sake of my baby girl and perfect hubby.
Reading posts above about those who have lost a pregnancy or have been told that their chances are slim makes me really want to kick my own ass, I need to appreciate the blessings already at my feet.
BTW, I went to my OB at one year of trying, she ran blood tests, they were perfect, she ordered semen analysis for my hubby (that in itself could be another post, whew) and it can back perfect as well. So, we look good but, still no baby so, give yourself the peace of mind to visit your dr and just know that they might not find anything, which is great. Pregnancy really is a lotto, your number we’ll come up soon. If not, I’ll jump on a plane with you and we’ll bring back a load of kids with us.
Katie I needed to read this!!!! We are trying right now(we have a three year old son) and it didn’t happen last month or the month before…I’ve peed on so many sticks it’s almost habit to reach in the cabinet before I sit down on the toilet….I’ve been so impatient, so irritable and frankly envious of my sweet friends who are pregnant right now…I have been so stressed about it….Because my husband is self employed and maternity coverage is expensive…don’t want to pay for it longer than we have to…because my child will be 4 in May and I don’t want more than 4 years between my kids….because we finally finished remodeling our home except for that one room upstairs that would make the perfect nursery…..I finally made the decision last week to just turn it over to God. He has this all planned out anyway so why on earth am I stressing about it. It will happen for both of us at the perfect time…His perfect time 🙂
I have to add…our first child was conceived a month and a half after we were married..no trying..complete surprise..so I think having to actually “try” makes it harder.
dollar store preggo tests did not work for me. took about 5 of them before i called the doctor. God has a plan so just sit back and let it ride! 🙂
I have read your blog for awhile now but never commented before. This post really hit home for me. My husband and I have been trying for 5 years and have had 2 miscarriages. I am struggling with so many things but mostly finding peace in the fact that God does have a plan. Thank you for your words because they mean so much to me right now. My struggle is hard to talk about and I don’t share with many people so having someone to relate to my inner thoughts and mantras that I ramble off inside my head daily, is comforting. Thank you for being that person for me today.
HAHAHA Brooke! I totally laughed out loud….” needed to hit the bottle!”
If you’re as addicted to peeing on sticks as I was, start using the ovulation kits. You’ll get your “peeing-on-a-stick” thrill AND get a smiley face when you’re ovulating! Well, at least the brand I bought had smileys. : )
It’s ok to be frustrated and it’s ok to think that your 8 months is a long time, even though people out there might tell you otherwise. 8 months is a long time to wait for ANYTHING, especially a baby!
We didn’t try or NOT try to have a baby for close to a year. Nothing happened and we decided we were ready to officially try. I ordered a kit with pregnancy tests and ovulation tests from http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/. After only 1 month of trying, it worked! I am due in January. My sister had many conception issues (it was difficult for her but she now has 3 children!) so I was always worried I would have trouble conceiving too. The kit helped it also probably helped that I figured it would take a few months of trying so I really didn’t expect to get pregnant on the first try. The ovulation kit may give you some peace of mind that you are doing what you can and the rest is up to God. Keep praying and believing… it’ll happen 😉
THANK YOU for saying this. All of the “just relax” comments were making me gnaw my arm off. Relaxing didn’t help me, either — not much help if you aren’t ovulating. I always think of that old joke/sermon anecdote about the flood and the guy saying “God will save me.” — “I sent a warning, a boat, and a helicopter. What more did you want?” Well, God sent me a doctor, and that doctor helped my husband and me have a baby.
I love you. In a non-creepy way, I promise. I love it when your letters to yourself remind me of things I need to remind myself.
You are such a good example Katie, especially in humility. Thanks, and keep your chin up.
I know how you feel. We tried for a year to get pregnant. Every time someone told me to stop trying I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I would get this strong urge to punch them in the face!
If you have a strong desire to start or continue your grow your family it consumes you. I have told myself everything Katie says in this letter about a thousand times. I never worked. I ended up going to get fertility testing and got a positive test the week before my results appointment.
Yes! Thank you! I cringe every time I hear the “just relax, and it’ll happen” comments. I’m pretty sure I was relaxed the first several months we tried and didn’t know we had issues. Year and a half later, seeing a specialist and still not pregnant. It’s hard to trust that God has a plan, but I’m learning to be verrrrry patient in the process. I have hope!
Hang in there Katie!
Ditto Jen!
Katie, thank you so much for writing this. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now…and that is exactly how I feel. I just need to trust that God has it all planned, even better then I could ever imagine. And I want to thank you for writing in a little sarcasm and such in there. Sometimes I forget to laugh about my own selfishness and stupidity. Anyways, thanks for sharing. And I’ll be praying for you! Us crazy almost-pregnant ladies need to stick together!
I appreciate your viewpoint. Our church’s policy is more like “It’s your business what goes on in your bedroom, between you and God” . No one else has to know. However, my sister was on BC pill and had a very rough time, in addition to the fact that my aunt had breast cancer, (taking the pill MAY add to your risk according to some studies). Plus other factors, kind of ruled out the pill for me. Finally, I agree, that shunning reliable methods is wrong, but the pill has been shown to sometimes inadvertently abort a fertilized egg, which is not OK for us(my husband and I). Reliable methods aren’t always morally okay methods-(again for my husband and I).
It is OK, and I get that, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant and have been trying for almost 3 months and it is driving us crazy that nothing has happened yet so I get that, but you have a beautiful boy to love and that loves you back, so take joy in him and the next one will come when it is time.
Ahh. I really needed to read this. I was just talking to someone this morning ab0ut God’s timing and my timing. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 1 1/2 years now. It’s frustrating and sad, but then I think that maybe now just isn’t the time. God obviously has something planned for us. Maybe I’m not pregnant yet because I’m not ready.
Since before we even got married, he and I have talked about adoption and how that is something that we want to do. Maybe that is what I’m suppose to be doing. Maybe God put adoption on my heart even before I was married because He knew one day I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. I’ll continue to pray for you, me, and all the women who are having trouble with fertility.
This was beautiful. I needed to read this right now. Like literally, right this very second. How’s that for God’s timing? 🙂 I’ll be praying for you.
Katie,
This is my first time commenting since I started following during the Pinterest challenge. Thank you so so much for posting this. My husband and I are in the middle of testing for problems after 2 miscarriages. I’m having some hormone testing for low progesterone right now. I know that God will grant us children in His perfect timing. One day.
This was so encouraging to me, so again, thank you.
Jennifer
Hi Katie,
I follow your blog and the Petersik’s blog everyday. I wonder if you and Sherry are destined to be pregnant together to support each other. God works in mysterious ways; maybe your children are meant to all be the same ages.
I’ll say a prayer for you,
Margaret
Hi. I have been reading your blog off and on for awhile and have never commented…but I couldn’t read this post and then move on without saying anything. Thank you for being brave, vulnerable, and sharing your heart. I can resonate with you–it’s like you just put so many of my feelings into words. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now but recently found out I have PCOS and do not ovulate. It is so, so, so very difficult to let go and trust God when your heart is breaking in a million little pieces. But when we take that step and let go, He heals that heartache in miraculous ways. Also, I’ve learned that it’s not just about patience but also acceptance. Accept your circumstances. Accept where He has you right now. Accept that it is out of your control. And then the patience and trust come so much easier…
Hi Katie. Long time reader, rare commenter. But felt the need on this one. I am right there with you. We pulled the goalie last October knowing that I might have some trouble getting pregnant. Well turns out, it’s not getting pregnant, it’s staying pregnant. Two miscarriages later, we still have no baby and no pregnancy. EVERYONE I know/see/meet is pregnant. My next door neighbor is due on the exact same date that my first pregnancy would have been due if I’d made it that far. The extra hard part is that I am a nanny for a 10mo so I see her everyday knowing I am not able (yet) to have one of my own. I know that the more you stress about it the less likely it is to happen but then I stress about being stressed! We want to adopt as well (have one, adopt one) but we arent in a financial position for that right now and my cycle is so out of whack from the mcs that Im having a hard time using an opk. It’s so frustrating! I just keep trying to tell myself that if it is meant to be, it will happen but you’d have to be a saint to think that without feeling anything else. Will is a blessing! Keep trying to concentrate on him and hopefully his sibling will make their own way! Good luck to all of us trying!
If you need some advice on trying to conceive, the baby center community is pretty helpful. In my 2 years of infertility I have found that a support group is very important and helps keep me sane (well, sane-ish). I would recommend the ATTC (Activly Trying to Conceive) board if you are ready to take the next step of charting your cycles, etc. Read their intro post for lots of great information.
I will be praying for you.
Thank you for sharing your journey
Katie, I wish you and your boyfriend all the best in your baby making. While I don’t know you, from your writing I have come to the conclusion that you are an amazing woman, dedicated mom and wife. I completely understand how you feel and where your coming from. We pulled the goalie in April, had one chemical pregnancy and then had a miscarriage at the end of September at 9 weeks. It’s so hard to see all the cute baby bumps, newborns, etc and not get jealous. And the sting of the dreaded red headed b**** each month gets harder and harder. It’s so hard not to think about….if I got pregnant this month I would be able to tell everyone at Christmas in a cute way or i could dress my baby up for halloween as “fill in the blank” next year.
Sorry to ramble! I really hope and pray that you are able to find peace in enjoying the moment. Hopefully our prayers and dream will be fulfilled soon. xoxo
I know this post is almost a week old now but I can’t stop thinking of it. I’m sorry that things aren’t happening when you would like them to. I know it is hard. And obviously from the comments there are so many people dealing with this. But I do think sometimes it helps to be thankful for what you have rather than think about what you don’t have. I’m 37 and have been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for five years. Enjoy that amazing son that you have. One of the things I tell myself every day is that I need to be thankful for what I have and it’s either going to happen or its not going to happen and it’s ok to be sad about it, but not to allow that sadness to take over what is in so many ways a pretty awesome life.
Hi Katie,
After three years of trying, what worked in the end for us was one of these – or perhaps the combination of both: herbs and diet advice from a herbalist specialising in increasing your natural fertility, and following the lunar calendar. The lunar cycle had worked for a friend (who had been told she had undergone early menopause at 26). My husband and I had tried lots of things and were thinking about IVF. I wasn’t into astrology at all, but was keen to try anything. 6 weeks later, at 36, I was pregnant!
http://www.fertility.com.au/Ressources_Downloads.html
http://fertility.amuchbetterway.com/fertility-calendar-for-natural/
Hope these links are helpful.
There is a bigger gap between our children than we planned, but it has worked out well for us.
Best of luck 🙂
Thank you for sharing, Katie! I love reading your blog and seeing your pics of your family!
This was a particularly encouraging one to read because I’m going through/feeling the same way. I’m not quite as many months invested as you are, but a lot of my friends are pregnant and I’m a nurse on the mother/baby unit and loooove working with all the little babies and hoping for my own.
I know I need to “let go and let God” but sometimes that’s hard! Thanks for sharing your intimate feelings on the subject!
Hi Katie,
I’m a few days late on this post, but I wanted to drop a quick note to recommend that you check out Taking Charge of your Fertility, by Toni Weschler. (http://www.tcoyf.com/) You will get to know your body and its signs, and make sure your timing is as good as it could possibly be. It’s totally natural, and best of all, you won’t need to buy any ovulation tests! After just a couple of months of charting, it worked for us. I wish you the very best!
Wow, I’ve never commented before, but just wanted to say I really needed to read this post tonight. Every word struck a chord. We’ve been trying for 15 months for another (my son will be 3 in January). I didn’t want this much space between my children, but I do believe God has a plan for us. My husband was in an accident 4 weeks ago, and I think maybe its a blessing I wasn’t pregnant or caring for an infant.
This brought tears to my eyes. We have been trying for six months for our first baby, and I have to give myself pep talks like this constantly. Please know you’re not alone in this!
I second these as well. I used the wondfo ovulation strips and prego tests and they’re so cheap I didn’t feel bad about going through a ton of ’em each month. I will say though that the ovulation strips are not quite as sensitive, I had what looked like it was possibly positive or on it’s way to positive so I broke down and ran to my local grocery store for the expensive smiley face ovulation kit – and sure enough I got my smiley face.
It’s so hard to want a baby so badly and to have zero control over the timing of it, I can relate too well. After my hubby finally agreed to try on our 5 year anniversary it took us 4 months to conceive…those months seemed like an eternity. Everything was going great, I had nausea, exhaustion, the works and no symptoms of anything bad going on whatsoever. We had a perfect little jelly bean at our 8 week sonogram with a great heart beat…so imagine the devastation we felt when at our 12 week NT scan we found out that the little one stopped developing the day after our 8 week sono. It was like being thrown into a dark slimy pit, a place I never expected to be, a place I couldn’t leave and a place that I just did not want to be in life. It was then that my expectations and ideals about pregnancy forever changed. 6 months later we finally were blessed with what seems to be a healthy baby boy, Lord willing. I am 18 weeks now and so thankful we’ve come this far but it could all change in an instant…if I can keep this little boy I’ll be so so happy. I find myself planning too far ahead now and I want to start trying for a second a few months before our first turns 1, but my hubby is not quite on board with my plan for our family. I just fear that we’ll have another loss in between the 1st and 2nd and I want to start early. I’m hoping God will bless us with a surprise #2 on my time line when really, I need to just be thankful with #1. I feel bad for getting so far ahead and not being content with my current blessings. I know I too need to trust in God’s timing and His perfect plan for our family. After all, 1 kid will be an absolutely amazing blessing…no need to get ahead of myself. My experience showed my that my focus was on having a baby and not on God and He was working in me through it all. Sending prayers your way! Hang in there, you are not alone!
Also, just wanted to say that I went for my yearly obgyn check up before it was due, just to talk to my dr. and see if she would potentially start looking into why it was taking longer the 2nd time around. It never hurts to start checking early. She ordered blood work to check my progesterone level and found out it was low, so low that I may not have ovulated that cycle and the next cycle I would start taking supplements 3 days past ovulation…but I DID ovulate, and God blessed us with our positive pregnancy test. Fortunately we knew my progesterone was low so I started taking the supplements immediately and it all worked out. I also had taken TTC to the next level – mucinex, preseed, ovulation strips, and really praying about it a lot and trying to keep my focus on God’s goodness and not letting myself stress as much as I had before. Replacing those negative thoughts with scripture, christian music, prayer were all very helpful. It’s hard not to focus on the baby fever! It WILL happen =)
I read most of the comments so I won’t repeat a lot of what already has been said. A friend gave me the following advice which has worked for her and some other friends:
Have intercourse 10 days in a row!
I’m sure the boyfriend won’t mind 😉
Creighton method is awesome to help track these sorts of things. It’s nice to know the exact date of the month (or couple of days) that you can get pregnant, or not get pregnant for those who’s goal is the opposite.
I wanted to second what Joanna suggested, NFP. I always get excited when I see this option thrown in the mix, as it seems that not too many people have heard of it or take it seriously. I can speak from experience. My husband and I have been married a little over 2 years, and we’re not actively trying to get pregnant. NFP has worked 100% for us, with no adverse health risks and no moral implications. There is no risk of accidentally aborting a precious baby, or anything unnatural blocking a husband and wife. NFP may bring couples closer to God, and in turn give them a deeper love for one another as they follow God’s intended plan for “birth control” – and see how God intended men and women to enjoy the gift of the marital act. Also, NFP allows women to really learn about their bodies, and see firsthand how certain factors influence their ovulation. This can be very helpful when they want to conceive- by pointing out the best times for them to try or making transparent any health issues that may be blocked by using artificial birth control. Plus you have a free pregnancy test every time! Your trusty thermometer will tell you. It really is a wonderful option!
I needed this. You have no idea. This looks like an almost identical page from my prayer journal from last week. Thank you. I don’t know if this helps at all, but our sermon was about these verses from 1 peter 5:6-7 on sunday.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
The idea being that God will lift you up in due time (His timing) which is not always easy. But while we wait on God’s timing, we are still to cast all of our cares on Him because He cares about us. (sounds like you’re already doing a good job of lifting those cares up)
The thing I had never really thought about though is that because He cares about us and loves us that deeply, what’s important to us is equally important to Him. No matter how big or small, important to us =important to Him. 🙂
OK, I’m really sorry but I hate it when people say, “just relax, it will happen”. I know they do this with good intentions, but really it makes me all twitchy and annoyed! 🙂 It’s really kind of complicated, fertility. 10% of the population struggle with infertility. For us, it was a year+ of trying on our own, and then three+ years of treatments and they could never really pinpoint what the exact problem was. Finally we conceived twins through IVF.
So yep, I’d relax for a few more months (well, and do the ovulation kit thing) and then I’d get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist just to get a workup and make sure things are ok.
But I’m really hoping that you don’t have to go through any of that. And chances are really good that you won’t because you’ve already had a successful pregnancy. But for Pete’s sake, don’t just relax! 🙂
I’m a little late reading this, but I wanted to thank you for writing it. I’m in that exact same spot right now- 8 months and no baby. This will be our first, so I’m clueless how it all goes, but it’s just seemed like everybody around me got pregnant within a month or two of trying, and we try and try (ovulation tests and all) and nothing. Out of my three best friends at work, two just had babies, and one is nearing her delivery- and I find myself sulking. All of that to say, I really needed to read something like this today. So thank you 🙂
I third this comment! “Just relax” can be frustrating advice! Katie -my advice (if you want it) is to see your OBGYN. Mine saw me after my husband and I had been trying for 8 months. Turns out, I wasn’t ovulating. I feel so much better now that I know the problem, and we are fixing it! Not that there is anything wrong with you at all – just helps to have some sort of guidance from the medical arena.
I wish you the BEST of luck!!!! Baby dust to all the women trying!!
Thank you… I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I wanted to say thank you. After a year of trying, your letter exactly put into words what I’m feeling.
I just stumbled on your blog via Young House Love and I feel like you are talking to me! I appreciate your candor and your humor and wish you and your beautiful family nothing but the best!!
After ‘not really trying, but not really preventing’ for 2 years, I finally got pregnant! It was our first after being married for 5 years and we were so excited we told our parents and siblings within 24 hrs of peeing on a stick! Both my mother and mother-in-law dished out stories of their lovely pregnancies that made me finally get used to the idea of being pregnant and I started to get all warm and giddy inside – and then BAM, at 8 weeks I had a miscarriage. I had my first ultrasound during the miscarriage and the OB suspected polycystic ovarian syndrome, so referred me immediately to a fertility specialist. I am now pregnant from in vitro fertilization. I am with you, it’s take God’s plan… not yours. My dad tells me time and time again, “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans”. I completely realize the meaning of the saying and it just sucks because I never really ‘plan’ much of anything. I generally go-with-the-flow and if it happens, it happens and if doesn’t it doesn’t… but I have to say that miscarriage made us serious about trying and I would have never went as far to see a fertility specialist otherwise. For once things were planned according to every injection, every day, every month. I’ve never had such a ‘schedule’ of events strategically planned before in my life. Things happen for a reason, and I have to trust that it is all according to God’s master plan for me… you… everyone.
Hi Katie,
I have been reading YHL for a while and last night I finally got around to looking at your blog…love it! You are hilarious! I’m not sure what I like best, the sense of humor, the gorgeous photos or the constant mention of bacon. Mmmmm…bacon…
Sorry, got distracted there!!
I’m really sorry that you are going through this struggle. I haven’t been there myself but my bestie went through all of these emotions and ended up conceiving after multiple rounds of IVF. It’s heartbreaking. But your attitude and strength is amazing and inspiring, so thank you.
Just a quick question: I’m a high school teacher at a Christian school in South Australia and was wondering if I could print out some of this (with one section paraphrased) to put up in my classroom. It is some of (maybe most of? Haven’t decided yet!) the paragraph that starts with God knows your heart (or something like that!). Wow I’ve used a lot of brakets in this.
Anyway, I’d love to have this message up in my classroom. I get my students to google quotes that them and we decorate the room with them…I would love it if this was mine!
Thanks so much. 🙂
Absolutely! I’d be honored!
xo – kb
Awesome, thanks so much. I am an English teacher so I will, of course, be properly referenced! 🙂
Thanks again for your beautiful words and your awesome blog!