I don’t know if I am a weirdo….wait…yes I do. I am totally weird and one of my quirks is that I get seriously stressed out about wedding gifts. I always want to make sure that it’s nice and enough and something useful and something that won’t be returned and something the couple will love and keep FOREVER. That is why I love registries. I can navigate the aisles of Bed Bath & Beyond like a pro. I can pick a thing off the registry at Target and know exactly what aisle it will be on. I own Walmart. Crate & Barrel doesn’t have a chance. So you can imagine my frustration when my little brother Tim & Jessica didn’t register for ENOUGH. GEESH people don’t you know that this wedding is about me and my gift giving experience?! They literally had 9 things on the list and received all of them for their shower. NINE. I have like nine things on each aisle that I want.
So I thought it would be fun to talk about my thought process when it came to buying them something for their big day. I was unarmed with a list. I was exposed to the elements. I basically risked my life for this post 🙂
The first thing you should know is that they had a rustic barn theme going on. It was a super fun location. I also know that my brother would never spend money on home stuff….but Jessica wants to spruce up their abode…so I went with something to make her happy. Happy wife, happy life, right?!
I decided to go with Target purchases because that is a place they did register and I figured that if they needed to return other stuff, it could help to make one big trip. My budget was $150 and here is what I got…
The first thing that caught my eye was the big woven basket. It would be great for holding all the other presents, for stashing dog toys or having a big throw. Storage is never a bad idea! Then I picked up the absolute last thing on their list – a clothing steamer
I fit the biggest three gifts inside the basket and then I did the pillow in the gift bag. The boys love carrying presents and I figured the pillow could be from them 🙂
I love the little chalkboard on the basket and think it’s such a great idea to do T+J or a heart or a wedding ring emoji or just CONGRATS!
And yes, I wrapped all the exposed presents in wood grain paper. It goes with the barn theme!!! And the teal ribbon is just like her maid of honor’s dress 🙂
So what do you do when it’s time to gift a lucky couple and they don’t have a registry? Are you a cash in an envelope person? Are you a monogrammed tote bag person? Are you a gift card gal or an anything goes type? I’d love to hear because you know…this is life and death here people.
p.s. some of you asked for a step-by-step of the Painters pen project and I added a little clip video…it’s all I had people 🙁 so go to the end of the next post to check it out.
I’m in NJ, so it’s pretty much assumed that cash is a wedding gift. The registry is for the shower. I’ve literally never seen someone bring a “boxed” gift to a wedding – the single time I DIDN’T write a check, I had the gift sent to the bride directly
Um forget the painters project (although it was amazing)- I need a tutorial on your hair!!! Super classy yet funky. I have a similar texture to my hair as you and I have such problems finding fancy hairstyles that will hold up in the Southern humidity and not need a gallon of hairspray.
Fun! I love that pillow & basket. So sad Target isn’t in Canada anymore. I miss it!
For my sisters wedding I made a beautiful guest book on Shutterfly with their engagement pictures and wedding colors to use at their wedding. She loved it!
For close friends I have picked up a cute basket and filled it with 2 wine glasses, bottle of sparkling wine, two plates, some fancy treats, fun condoms (lol) and a gift card.
The Brides & Grooms have all loved enjoying it on their wedding night and its lots of fun putting it together!
I am a cash in envelope person. Like you, giving gifts used to be a BIG deal. It all had to be perfect, it had to be FOREVER, it had to be coordinating in the perfect box. Spending hours picking out gifts, putting true thought and love into (sometimes) homemade heirlooms only turned into heartbreak for me. Sadly, of all the weddings/graduations/births/holidays deserving of a gift, only a handful of recipients would bother sending a thank you card. Call me old fashioned, but it was a requirement to send a note of thanks as soon as I was old enough to scratch out my name. I’m tired of the pain it causes to get my feelings hurt because of the lack of appreciation. In the end, I want to give a gift that will be appreciated, but now I throw cash in an envelope and not my heart on the line.
Your basket of goodies it great!
Around here, registries are typically for showers, and most people give a card with cash or a check for the actual wedding. Of our 150+ guests at our wedding only one couple brought a physical gift.
For a wedding at the Rodeo grounds (new hubby totally into rodeoing … it’s a thing), my sis and I assembled a large basket with all sorts of treats and cheeses and crackers and wine they could enjoy on their honeymoon at a lake cabin.
Long lasting … I got an electric skillet back in the 70s and it’s still going strong. Not the most beautiful thing in the world but it outlasted the first marriage and we’re thirty years into marriage # 2 (and last!).
In terms of heart warming and the’ll always treasure it … I had an artist friend do a graphite portrait of my grandson for his parents after he got formally adopted. With her okay, I made copies for all the grandparents. Instead of kids, an artist could do a graphite portrait of the happy couple or perhaps one of them when they were kids… But you’ve got to find your own artist, mine is busy!
I live in a rural area so running to Target, etc. is a big deal so I am a gift card person. I even ask the recipients what stores they like to shop at so it narrows down the selection. Plus I get gas discounts at my local Safeway for purchasing the cards there. I purchase the gift cards when I am grocery shopping so win-win-win. Throw the gift card in a dollar store card for the occasion and done!
I do love what you purchase for your brother and sister in law. Great selection! And I love the matchy wrapping paper and ribbon – nice touch!!
Small registry = couple wants cash!
cash or gift card in envelope always, unless they have some type of honey moon thing. Generally, I’ve ended up having to buy 2 gifts, shower and wedding. so one from the registry, and one cash one.I figure they can use it for whatever they want!
I usually go with the registry. Sometimes a gift card to the store where they’re registered so they can put it towards one of the pricier items they might not get from their registry. And if no registry (or I forgot to go shopping, because let’s be real, that happens sometimes), cash in a card. For some friends/family members I’ve knitted or crocheted blankets for them, but since that requires plenty of time and stick-to-it-ness on my part, that doesn’t happen for every wedding. I have friends who got married in February and I’m still only about 1/3 of the way done with their blanket.
It must be a regional thing but here in Chicago, everyone gives cash at the wedding. We got a few gifts (mostly from people who couldn’t make it) but it was all cash/check. Thats what everyone wants around here. :o) I noticed that my cousin’s wedding in Kansas was a mostly gift giving wedding and they all gave me a gift off our registry.
I love to do theme gifts with something from their registry. Some examples included a movie night – they registered for popcorn bowls, so I added microwave popcorn, candy, a movie I knew my friend loved, and added home made napkins to round it off. Another accidental theme (I procrastinated buying their gift until the day before and there were two cereal bowls, a sugar bowl and two sets of silverware left to buy) was sharing meals together. I bought a selection of those small sugar cereals that we all loved and only got from our grandparents when we were young and wrote a story about sharing your favorites with the person you love. When I started canning I tried to pair salsa or jam with dishes from their registry. Always a big hit and super fun to personalize!
Etsy! I love a monogramed huge cutting board, or some kind of love quote sign.
Love the woodgrain paper.
Everyone gives cash in NYC so it makes it super easy. Gifts are given at the shower so I have a similar dilemma for those – I prefer to go off registry if I know the person.
We live in the Northeast, and pretty much everyone always does cash. Personally, I loved getting cash at our wedding. Helped pay for the two weeks in Italy for our honeymoon!
Do you spend 150 each time you go to a wedding?? WOZER!!
Cool gifts! I’m a cash or check in the envelope type. The weddings We get invited to or have attended “expects” either one instead of bringing a gift such as you did. I like your style way more. The couple feels the bridal shower are for gifts that they have registered for. The wedding is for bringing the moolah!! The weddings we have always attended have been way too formal that the couple strictly says in the invitation that it is a no children reception and also black tie only. I would LOVE to attend a casual wedding outside with everything really casual from the food to the music to the guests wearing what they’re comfortable in. Like a vintage theme wedding or country like. My thoughts.
Love the wrapping paper! Where is it from? I always try to stick with a themed gift for weddings/showers.
Love your family, picture, Katie!! My daughter is getting married in May, so it will be interesting to see what they select on their gift registry. She has so many of the usual things since she has been on her own for a few years. Her grandmother gave her the sterling silver flatware that belonged to her and another relative gave her a complete set of china which is what she would have picked out herself. She has most of the household stuff, pots and pans, furniture, etc. She said she would like new towels and linens, for one thing. We are paying for the wedding, of course, but I’m thinking Lowes gift cards, or cash maybe, besides some other sentimental things I may give her. I am so traditional, so it kind of bothered me that she wouldn’t be picking out her own set of china, but she wanted gifts that she would use often, rather than formal china she would seldom use. I keep telling her she’s got to have enough on her list for people to buy, lol!
I like your gifts and how you presented them. I like to do wedding and baby shower gifts in a basket like you did, with individually wrapped items inside the basket. Great minds think alike!! For wedding gifts, I do money in a card. I’ve been married 36 years, and I still appreciate the money we received, because it helped us with a down payment on our first house.
The dark brown one is from The Container Store and the other two were from TJMaxx.
xo – kb
No but generally speaking we spend about $100. I owed my brother a gift for the shower I missed when I was having Max too 🙂 Also…it’s my brother!
xo – kb
Oh I hear ya. My hair is so crazy. And the humidity makes it even more wild.
xo – kb
Aww that is so sad. I am unfortunately terrible at thank you cards…I write them but I always fail to get the address out and actually mail it. I did my wedding thank you notes about ten months after my wedding…horrible I know.
xo – kb
I picked out a regular set and a formal china set and I use both but I gotta admit that I have to push myself to use the china. It’s infrequent when I do but it’s so nice to have!
xo – kb
It’s so interesting to read everyone’s responses and see the regional differences. We were married 4 years ago in the Midwest (both with traditional families) and had about 1/3 cash, 2/3 physical presents if you combine the showers and actual wedding. But, we were also just starting out and hadn’t lived together beforehand, so we needed pretty much everything.
Now we’re both in grad school on a tight budget and our friends know it! I like to do something that is personal and takes thought, time, and effort but is less expensive. I sewed a set of bridesmaid clutches for one friend, and for another I got a small registry gift and then framed a custom word art print that I made with their wedding colors and details.
Katie, I think your wedding basket combo was a great idea, and you picked things that are personalized to what you know they want/need. Great idea, and I love how it tied right in with their wedding theme!
What a great gift! I am such a sentimental person, and I love to give gifts that will be around for a while. So, my favorite gifts to give are always books. My go-to wedding presents are a family Bible with the couples new name on it (with the family tree section to document all the babies, and in the NIV so it can actually be used), and the Power of the Praying Husband and Wife because those books literally transformed my marriage. But, I also love to give gift cards because shopping with someone else’s money is always more fun 🙂
Question re the 2 gifts idea – I was taught one gift for a wedding, either at shower if invited, or at an engagement party, or at/after the wedding.
A friend recently indicated she thought if you were invited to all 3, that meant 3 gifts! And you indicated both a shower And a wedding gift. I thought the shower was the more intimate way to give the gift, but still the gift.
I’m from New York and no one ever brings gifts to a wedding. The registry is for the shower. Everyone gives cash and it’s usually the cost of your plate so for a couple, you are typically giving a gift of $300+. I feel like its so “Goodfellas” (the scene with the envelopes).
I actually do something similar but it all depends on their lifestyle. I put together a couple basket, that can either give them fun supplies for a picnic dinner, or their dinner and a movie at home, or a brewers dream, cute things that would be helpful to their interests, and I tend to make it a grouping.
For a couple I knew that would go to Orchestra in the Park every Wednesday evening, I gave them wine/beer bottle stakes for the grass, a cute set of wine cooler holders, a nice set of napkins that were fun enough for an evening out. A nice blanket, with the water protectant on the other side. A cute monogrammed cheese board, cute appetizer plates, a bottle opener, then found a bunch of cute crackers, cheeses, etc. at World Market. Throw in a wonderful dessert and some awesome wine and beer and I was set! I normally spend about $75-100. I find my best cute details at Target, World Market, Crate and Barrel and Kohls.
I am actually preparing a cute camping (glamping) theme gift for a wedding in Sept and am prepping another bundle of happiness. I love the idea!!
I’m like you and like to pick off the registry, because at least I know what they want. I also try to throw something in there extra, for example, I give a frame for showers, because I know they will have a million photos that they will want to display. For my wedding, I registered and I got almost everything off of it, which was awesome and generous of everyone, but I did get some pretty cool “unique” gifts; a gift certificate for a framing place (framing an 8×10 professionally is expensive!), a bowl all the way from Africa, a table runner from China. Can you tell my friends travel a lot! I also received a basket filled with goodies. I still use the basket and think it is a great idea! p.s. I love that photo of the 6 of you. What a gorgeous family!
I am from Canada (Ontario) – no one ever busy gifts for the actual wedding. The registry is only for the shower really. I don’t know if this is a new thing or if has always been this way. Also- you have to give a lot of cash!! It’s basically a rule that you give $100 per person minimum. If it’s family or a close friend its more like $125-$150 per person. We have said no to some weddings that we have been invited to that are just acquaintances because its just too much!
I love what you picked for them. I am sure they will love it and get lots of use from it all too!
I do gifts in containers too! It doesn’t matter the occasion. One can never have too many storage options.
Like many others have said, cash is king when it comes to weddings. I just remember at my own wedding having to designate someone to collect the few boxes we had received and get them back to our house. Flat envelopes containing cash are so much easier for the bride and groom to manage at the end of the night!
Where is your dress from? I have a wedding coming up and it is lovely!
In my 20s, when all my friends beat me down the aisle, I went all-out. I created gorgeous, personalized blankets for my brother’s wedding, my other brother’s high school graduation, my best friend’s wedding, and a high school friend’s wedding. Each one was basically all my free time for a couple months outside of work, school, etc.
3 were very gratefully received, but the high school friend was pretty unappreciative (they did open it in front of me), and it was a very cold thank you (generic as possible, level of familiarity you’d send to your Grandma’s cousin). After SOOO much time and really creating a work of art, I was heartbroken. They never mentioned the quilt to me and I never once saw it at their apartment and then house in the following years. It’s taken years to accept, and I realize that it just isn’t fair to project so much energy into something with those expectations from a wedding couple.It wasn’t their style, and that’s okay!
It was actually the first one I gave, so clearly I overcame it and did give the other 3 (and in doing so, didn’t make it a surprise. I got specific color and fabric pattern requests from my bestie, and made my brothers’ quilts specific to their sports teams/interests). And I definitely spent a little time emotionally detaching from my gifts before giving them. Lowering my expectations for fireworks and swooning.
For my wedding, I realized afterwards how many people spent soo much time finding all the registry stuff and in the end, I did end up returning and switching stuff around. Same for baby gifts- a lot were summer-only in our constant winter location, etc. It was a headache.
We did get some awesome gifts though, that were really fun. But it’s such a crapshoot!
It usually the registry or cash, but I really like to try to gift them something special. When we got married, one of my best friends gifted us ornaments that were from the town that we married in and that just struck me as so sweet and thoughtful. Every year at Christmas I not only know when we got them but who gave them to us and it makes me smile. So, from then on, couples get a pair of ornaments that might mean something to them and I have been receiving HUGE thank you’s since then! I’m sticking with it! It’s a hit!
I tend to go a little over board when gift giving. I like to be really generous even if I don’t have the money because it’s a special time. I’ll spend $100 for a wedding/baby shower for someone I don’t know that well plus a wedding card with cash of at least $100. Family is a different level. When my sister in law had her baby shower my husband said not to worry about the money and get whatever I wanted. I spent the day running around getting all the larger items I knew she wanted and spent over $700. When I called and told him how much I spent he laughed and said “It’s my sister!” I try really hard to think about what I’m giving and how it will be used. I, like most people don’t like getting a gift that’s just going to sit in the box. I even stress over picking out the card making sure it’s just right for the person/couple, same with gift wrapping. Everything has to go together or have a theme even down to the stickers I’ll use for the card. Yup, totally crazy!
We are from Kentucky, and love to give a bottle of Woodford Reserve Bourbon –you can get the glass etched with the couple’s name and wedding date, which is so cool to keep for big anniversaries, etc. If it’s for someone we are really close to/need to give a bigger gift, we add in a couple of silver plate or pewter Julep cups–Kentucky Derby mint juleps!
Favorite gifts from our wedding: an A-Heirloom state cutting board marked with a heart at the location of our college town where we met, a thoughtful basket with gin and tonic fixin’s, one of our favorite drinks, a full set of pots and pans that my mom’s cousins gave us as a family, a large glass bowl and a glass pitcher that I use as centerpieces throughout the year, and a painting a friend did of each of our favorite foods.
It was nice to have some extra cash when we got married to help pay for all the expenses/honeymoon, etc. (and we used some of it to buy our first non-Ikea, vintage furniture that we will have forever), but now, a few years down the line, I really appreciate the gifts I got because I still have a tangible reminder of our guests from the wedding, and can remember how thoughtful and creative they were in planning their gifts!
We try to get something that would remind them of the town they are from, something from “home”. My favorite was the Chicago pizza gift. A deep dish pan, big pizza cutter, a peel and a book of recipes from a popular Chicago pizza restaurant.
I have a source for The World’s Best Wedding (or anniversary, baby, birthday, whatever) gift and I’ll let you in on the secret….it’s online and it’s Zotter the Potter…check it out: they make all sorts of hand-thrown pots, bowls, cookie jars, vases and they personalize them with names, dates, etc. Everyone I’ve ever given one to has absolutely loved it. I like to have it shipped to the person because they pack it so well, I know it has less chance of getting damaged than if I carry it to a wedding, etc. No relation to them…I just LOVE their stuff!
I just wanted to say how adorable your family looks! I love those outfits on the boys and you look amazing, girl!
I’m super cheap, so we do a gift card usually unless they have a good registry.
Such a thoughtful present! I love the woodgrained paper and pretty bow to match the dresses!
haha! That is so funny 🙂
xo – kb
So interesting!
xo – kb
I think our wedding present situation was similar to yours.
xo – kb
NY&Co. It was on clearance 🙂
xo – kb
This has nothing to do with the post but when did LJ become a red head? I first noticed it in the pool pictures and then in this one. Your boys are adorable … but who did that red hair come from 🙂
We don’t really know exactly…but all the boys go through a ginger-phase. It’s funny because it kinda fades around two years old 🙂
xo – kb
CASH in an envelope! ALWAYS CASH in an envelope! I never want to carry a gift to a wedding, by the time the wedding rolls around people have already picked over the registries due to showers, I’ve usually ALREADY BOUGHT A GIFT for the brides shower I probably attended, etc. OH, and, CASH in caps because when you write out a check you have to pay to the order of “Mr and Mrs BlahBlahBlah” and they take FOREVER to deposit it usually (vs it being written out to one person making it easier to deposit…does that make sense?) – I’ve learned on that one!! Love the gifts you chose 🙂 PS I’m a weirdo too 😉 (seeee…that was WEIRD…)
my no fail recipe for wedding gifting…engagement = something small but meaningful, shower = gift from registry that I know they will love and use, wedding = card with $$ (so there’s no need for bride and groom to lug home a package)
It’s definitely not a “1 gift only” thing in the Midwest, but usually engagement parties are no gifts, showers are to “shower the bride” and essentially prepare her for being a wife (which is why it usually is cookware, dishes, and other somewhat traditional housekeeping-related items), and then the wedding gift on the wedding day is for the couple. Or to rephrase, the shower gifts are for “her” and the wedding gifts for “them.”
Not the most progressive view of marriage, but not the most antiquated ritual either…
I’ve never heard of such a thing that it was a “rule” to give a certain amount of cash. I always felt you were invited to a wedding because the family wanted you to be there to witness the couples vows and celebrate an important day with them. Since when is there a stipulation that a certain amount of cash must be given? That really shouldn’t be what it is all about. To ever feel like you can’t afford to attend is sad. As you do, I love Katie’s gift idea! It’s from the heart and a great deal of thought went into it, the way it should be! Let’s all celebrate the day and not stress about the gift so much! Your presence at the wedding is what should be most important to the bride and groom and not the amount of money you can afford to give.
I’m in Southern California, in my late 20’s & have been to 3 weddings for close people in 2 years. For my best friend growing up I spent around $120 – they didn’t live together yet so I bought her the Pyrex set she had on her registry for her wedding shower & for their wedding I ordered a customized 8 x 10 picture frame w/ their names, date & a quote. For my man’s co-worker & friend we spent around $100 – they didn’t have a shower & didn’t live together yet so we got them a gift card to Target & a customized picture frame as well. For my man’s little sister we spent around $100 – they didn’t have a shower & already lived together so we got them monogrammed beer glasses and a customized picture frame.
As you can see I’ve stuck with the engraved picture frame because it’s personal, useful, & so far nobody else has gotten them one so it’s also unique.