originally written December 2016
I rarely talk about mean comments or ‘hate’ or snark that is prevalent online. I try to be as positive as possible because I know life is hard. kids are hard. marriage is hard. jobs are hard. parenting is hard. being alive is sometimes hard. And I don’t think across the board, nonconstructive, nonpositive comments come from haters. I think they sometimes, they just come from hard times or hard feelings. I don’t think all people that make mean comments are jealous. I don’t think that all people that make uninformed comments are rude. I don’t even think that all mean comments are mean. Sometimes they just don’t translate in typed form. So sometimes I feel like it’s not really fair to label every comment as one thing or another.
That is all a preface because I got a message this week from someone and I honestly don’t think they were trying to be mean or judgmental or even pushy. I think they spoke from a place of concern and honesty and I wanted to take a minute to address this topic. I wanted to talk about my thoughts when it came to this….because 1. I think it will encourage some of you mamas out there and 2. it’s important for us to really understand that everyone is different when it comes to online sharing and 3. I think we could all learn something from it.
Okay….so let’s get to it. The comment was this….
“Katie, long time fan. Please stop humiliating Weston. It has been going on a long time and it is sad to see you always comment on how “difficult” he is. He is going to look back on these moments when he is an adult and be mortified that you put all his embarrassing moments on public display. It’s so sad. From one mamma to another please stop. My heart aches for him.”
So yeah. I took a moment and sat back and tried to understand why the topic of Weston keeps coming up. Over the years, I have gotten so many comments judging the number of photos I post of him, the frequency of photos, the way I talk about him, etc. And the fact is….they are wrong. Plain and simple.
This week I posted a photo of him at his preschool Christmas pageant. He was looking so handsome in his Christmas best. He got to stand in the front row and sang his little heart out. He rang his jingle bells and did all the hand motions with such pizzazz. I literally could not be more proud. My parents came and Jeremy and I were there with his little brothers. We got lots of videos and pictures and waved like those crazy parents and cheered when he waved back. At one point at the very end, he grabbed his black pants at the ankles and pulled them all the way up, exposing his black socks and bare legs. It made us all laugh and we snapped a photo of his silly antic and posted it on Instagram Stories with an caption that said we told him to not pull his pants down…we didn’t know this was an option. And then a laughing emoji. Just a little back ground for you guys.
First, I would like to explain something. You guys get a GLIMPSE. A glimpse. Nothing more than a flash. That’s been our situation for a long time. You don’t really know my kids. Not really. You don’t get to see our interactions, our parenting style, our kids real personalities. You get very very little. And I don’t mean that in a snarky way. I mean that in a very practical way. So to say that I think he is individually pointed out as difficult is not fair or true. Do I think that certain aspects of parenting in general are difficult? Absolutely. Do I think that Weston has moments – like ALL my kids? Absolutely. Do I think that Weston is also a very good boy that has a very good heart? Oh yeah. Oh heck yeah. That kid needs a bigger chest cavity because his heart is HUGE. And do I think I shamed my child by posting his silly moment on Instagram? No. I do not.
So now that we have discussed that the ‘view’ is very different than the reality….let me share something else with you. You get the highlight reel. You get our highs. Our moments of joy. You don’t see photos of me crying in the bathroom. Or videos of my kids hitting or biting or fighting. You don’t get to see the arguments that Jeremy and I have. You just get the happy stuff. And honestly – EVERYTHING I HAVE POSTED OF WESTON, I AM DANG PROUD OF. I am so happy he was just himself up on stage. He did everything I expected….and yes, I have come to expect him to do something unexpected! That’s him! He makes me laugh so hard that I have peed. He makes babies giggle and cuddles like nobodies business. He is a talented little artist that has more creative spirit than most professionals. He is physically advanced in every way. He can do things with his body that adults still can’t do. He is passionate and aggressive and does everything with 3000% of his little being. He is my wild fire! He does the unexpected….not out of disobedience…but out of creativity! And I ADORE THAT. So when I post something that is a little out-of-the-norm…it’s because I LOVE THAT HE DID THAT. And yes – that is me yelling right now.
You may see those antics as naughty. Or embarrassing. Or something your grandparents would frown at. I see that as my Weston being my Weston. And I personally would not have it any other way. If I took away the things that others see as embarrassing, that is taking away the true him. And that’s not okay. I would never say that to another mama. NEVER. I would never tell a parent that you want to ignore or hide the special qualities that make your child unique. That would be wrong!
Secondly, I really believe that we live in a culture that celebrates sweet and gentle and quiet children. We do. Children should be seen and not heard, right? (that’s sarcasm by the way) Historically, we think that ‘passive’ should be the nature of all girls. And when we see it in boys, we celebrate it. Our culture expects them to sit still, speak sweetly, never act aggressive or wild or overtly physical. Our culture wants them to be domesticated kittens when sometimes, their temperament is not naturally gentle or quiet or kitten-esque. Here is the thing I like to preach…OUR CHILDREN ARE ALL DIFFERENT! If your kid is a kitten – awesome! If your kid is a tiger – awesome! If your kid is something completely different and you have no idea what it is – awesome! I am a crazy proud parent of four AMAZING boys….all with different temperaments and different personalities and different strengths and weaknesses! And just to be clear – I have a kitten and I have a tiger and I have a whole household of animals. It’s a zoo over here 🙂
In that context, I think our culture is wrong. I think we need to shift our view. Instead of looking at the outside…instead of looking at the ‘performance’ alone, let’s look at our children’s hearts. And let’s stop labeling them. Just because a child obeys in a creative or aggressive way – that doesn’t mean they are difficult or embarrassing or bad. If I ask a kiddo to pick up a room so that we can do something special together, and they are exhibiting a bad attitude (maybe with grumbling and anger) but does it quickly….that is a heart issue….even though they obeyed. But if I ask a kid to pick up a room and they want to pretend everything are basketballs and they throw them into the basket yelling SCORE! the whole time….this is not a heart issue….they obeyed and they are being loud and aggressive and fun-loving. But somehow in our culture, we allow for the complaining and grumbling (or whatever the bad attitude is) but we punish the kid who throws. We think of aggressive as bad. We think of loud as obnoxious. We think rowdy is wrong. I don’t agree with that. As a parent of boys who are rarely kitten-esque – I want to teach them, self control is a good thing to learn and exercise and it’s sometimes really hard…but it is my job to not change who they are…but to teach them to do all things in love. They can be loud, aggressive and rowdy and still love God and others REALLY WELL.
Both Jeremy and I have talked about all of our boys and we know that they are being taught that we as a family commit to loving others and honoring God first….and that dictates our actions. Not doing things out of fear or ‘because mommy said so’ isn’t our carved in stone rules. Do we want them to understand obedience? Yes. Do we want them to obey because we know the path already? Yup. But we also want them to desire to do things out of love, empathy and generosity…not because we said so but because we care for others. There are a lot of great books that preach this message. (And Shepharding a Childs Heart is one that I always highly recommend among others.)
All that being said….I post things about my kids and some folks will see that and think ANYTHING other than overwhelmingly positive culturally appropriate pics and captions will be seen as embarrassing to a future Bower kid. Let me tell you something – it’s not your job. You may be a mama who wants to protect your kids….do that….do that as your heart and gut and partners desire….but as a fellow mama, let me do my job. I may do things differently than you….you may not agree with me….but you didn’t get picked by the Man Upstairs to be be my mama or the mama to my kids. I am not worried about my kids being embarrassed…you don’t need to take that job onto yourself. I fully believe my kids will not be embarrassed of their infant and elementary years. My kids will be embarrassed of EVERYTHING I DO when they become tweens and teenagers. But my job isn’t to protect them from all embarrassing moments. It’s not. They will be embarrassed eventually and probably pretty often. It’s my job to teach them to laugh at themselves and to realize that as a Bower, our job is to encourage others and honor God.
And if that is hard for you. If you struggle with feeling upset at me and my choices as a parent….because I know that there are some of you out there….remember that this is a very optional thing….reading this blog, following me on social media and investing your time as readers. I don’t want to push you away because I love having such an amazing diverse group of online friends. But I realize that this may not be the blog for you. Just sayin. I think almost every blogger out there wants to ENCOURAGE. They aren’t blogging to tear down people. They want to connect and build others up. And that includes me.
Lastly – we live in a very connected way. A very public way. Not just me….but most of the people I know. The internet is very different place and creates a new world than what I grew up in. Most kids today will be exposed to more information, photos, and facts about their friends than ever before. The new generations will be able to google one day and see so many details about classmates, colleagues and potential mates….and I know that. I personally have asked myself….how do I find that balance between sharing our life and not sharing too much? As a mom, as a blogger, and as a wife, I committed myself to not post information that changes my families personal relationships, limits their job opportunities or discourages my family members. We have always asked our kids and we will continue to ask them if they want their photo online at all….if they say no, they will never be posted. That doesn’t mean I love them less.
Personally I hope that the kids never say that….because I like showing them off. But I realize it may happen. And when my kids are older, they will probably understand that this was our story. Our family story. Bower Power is part of us all. And one that right now, they LOVE seeing. They love seeing their Instagram photos. They love seeing the blog posts they are in. And they celebrate their own antics just as much as I do.
And so with that being said – I hope that if someone out there….a fellow mama who was shamed for a child’s picture on Facebook or a blogger who was criticized for a quirky personality nugget she shared of her kids….if you are feeling down and maybe questioning if you are doing it right or doing it all wrong….remember, you are doing awesome just by simply taking a step back to analyze the situation. And YOU get to teach your kids how to respond….not just in theory but by actually experiencing a hard situation. This is your story just as much as it is your kids. And if we can teach that next generation that respect and love even in the face of adversity and accepting wildfire (and kittens and everything in between) is what we should do….we as moms are look back at our children and know that we rocked this thing called motherhood.
<3
Good for you! I’m with ya
Amen! Amen! Amen! Preach it sister. Sometimes I wonder if those who say things like that have children at all. This mom thing is hard and amazing all in the same day, heck sometimes in the same minute. Moms should have other moms back, we should be able to listen and scream “YES” whenever someone else’s kid does the same thing our does. We should be there for each other not tear each other down. Mom-ing is hard. And I think you’re doing a pretty bang up job. 4 healthy boy and one beautiful lil lady on the way raised up in God’s sight, it doesn’t get any better than that. 🙂
This is awesome, Katie! The other day I was thinking that, as a parent, do I want to be the one who saves my kid from experiencing any embarrassment at all? Or do I want to be the one who helps save/nurture him/her in the moment of embarrassment? Good stuff to ponder. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Amazing post Katie!! As someone who is also raising wild fire, thank you for this. You gave some awesome insight and provided me with a new perspective on how to approach my little wild tiger.
I have been following your blog for years and have never written a comment however, I had to this time! I LOVED reading your reply, it was PERFECT! To the woman who wrote this post, how dare you judge a beautiful mom who clearly loves her children with all of her being? Katie, keep on loving your boys and raising them as you do because clearly by all of your pictures that they are happ, healthy and full of love! Also, as a pediatric and labor and delivery nurse I am experienced in family dynamics and parenting behaviors and I would be blessed to care for this family and as a mom I often relate to your stories with a WILD child of mine!
I LOVE your highlight reel, and the realness with your posts, and the fact that you SHARE your life with the rest of the world. Honestly, based on the little that we know about the personality of your kids, mom to mom, I connect to the “imperfect” moments, BECAUSE MINE ARE THE SAME WAY. So sorry to hear the other side of the blogging world that comes with comments like that. Thankful for this outlet that gives me #housegoals and makes me realize that other moms are incredibly busy with their babies. Keep doing what your doin’!
Katie,
Well said, and I applaud your approach to a subject that would make most mama’s bristle. I bristled just reading the comment, and I’m not you! In this social media crazed society I think you do an amazing job of presenting both yourself and your family, and I love popping over here to get a peek into your world of boys and diy. Your family is in my prayers, and I think you have been a great example of both the ups and downs of being a christian mom. Keep doing exactly what you are doing. I learned a long time ago as a teacher that there is NO WAY to make everyone happy. It will never happen, ever, and you need to just do your best and leave the rest to God. Thanks for keeping this blog up and running. I don’t comment often, but I’ve been a follower since BEFORE Will, and it continues to be a happy spot in my day as I juggle my own career and kid chaos. Have a WONDERFUL weekend with those kiddos of yours. God Bless.
You keep doing what you’re doing. I struggled hard to remember anything that you’ve ever posted that referred to your kids as being especially difficult. All kids are difficult — mine is 3 yrs old and he is giving us a run for our money. I know he means no ill-will but gosh darn, he is pushing and pulling in every direction. 90% of the time he is wonderful; the other 10%, I want to shake him!
You hit the nail on the head (and it reminds me of what happened to Young House Love): “remember that this is a very optional thing….reading this blog, following me on social media and investing your time as readers. ” If you don’t like what you hear/see, click the “unfollow” button. I’ve done it and I lived to tell about it!
Katie, I think you are amazing. Mama life is hard. Adulting is hard. I appreciate you for the inspiration you give and the love you share. Have a great weekend and keep up the awesomeness!
Hugs from Colorado xoxo
I’m sure you already do, but know most of us don’t see it that (negative) way. You owe us no explanation 🙂
yes. Just yes.
Awesome post. Thank you so much for sharing. I personally love the glimpse you give us into your life. I love seeing how other mom’s do life and I find the things you share inspiring and encouraging. You are doing an amazing job.
I have asked myself why I keep coming back to your blog. Today’s post is one of those reasons. I very much appreciate your being considerate of what things mean with regards to your life and family, even though I often disagree with the stances you take. You present a balanced, reasoned approach to living and raising your children. I applaud your meditative thoughtfulness and believe that skill might be our highest talent as human beings and as parents. You are excellent.
Oooooh Katie I needed to read this. You are so right about what type of behaviors our culture favors, and it’s not helpful for mamas. When I scroll through photo after photo of perfect, sweet kitten moments, it gets to me and makes me worry that my energetic 2 yr old boy (my oldest) is too wild or too rough. Most people don’t share enough of the quirky or wild moments (myself included) so it’s easy to believe that everyone else’s kids are always calm and sweet. Comparing him to everyone else’s highlight reels is so dangerous and this post really woke me up to that. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me to look at my child’s heart, and not anything or anyone else, to determine how he’s doing. You’re doing us a a favor sharing the way you do.
Hi Katie, I just wanted to thank you for your heartfelt, well written thoughts. It takes a lot of guts to do what you do day in and day out, and I think what you have said here is honest and very true. The vast expanse of the internet and our connected world is a scary place, and although it can be SO helpful to have so much information at our fingertips, we do need to realize that in the end we have to each do what is best for our families and teach our children that everything is not necessarily to be taken at face value. Judgement can be a very nasty thing!
Love you and your fam!
Thank you for sharing this! I have struggled with how my now 3 year old little boy has been perceived by others. I have had friends that have little girls who have come over for playdates and sit quietly and play (which there is nothing wrong with), but my little man wants to play chase and can be very loud. As a first time mom, I kept asking myself why he had to be so wild. After some time and prayers, I now understand that God has made him this way for a reason and he is going to do great things with his strong personality. He is a sweet, curious, adventurous little boy and I love ever bit of him for who God has made him to be!
I am so inspired by you. The world judges so quickly (each to their own wildly varying standard). I want to give and exhibit grace. There are some things we just don’t have in common and that is SO AWESOME, what a beautiful diversity God has made in ALL things.. He embraces uniqueness, why can’t we? How could anyone read this blog and not see what a fierce devotion you have to your family? sigh. I’m so sorry you have to deal with these things…
Your heart is amazing, and this sort of highly personal REAL honesty is so challenging to me and VERY welcome. Thank you for sharing. You have encouraged me today, once again.
Nothing but respect (so so much) and admiration. I’m going to get that book, thanks for the reco!
<3
Amen! When I see those posts (from you or anyone) all I see is so much love for the moment that it spills over and you want to share it with everyone. It’s a child at their peek of what you love about them. please don’t stop spreading that LOVE!
I wish I had an ounce of your writing eloquence. But Bower Power Love to you. And Yes, to all you have written today! #Fellowmomoftigerboys
I’m really glad you decided to share this post. The most important part, which amazes me that people don’t get, is the paragraph were you talked about this blog just being a glimpse into your lives. Of course it is! How do people not get that? And who has time to be thinking about how many pictures of which kid you’re posting and what you’re saying about each kid? Some people have too much time on their hands. Thank you for sharing and I’m glad you seem to have your head in the right place about it all. That can’t be easy either.
Humiliating Weston??? Whaaaat? I’ve always loved the glimpse of your kids’ personalities that you’ve given us. Keep up the good work, mama!
Love to your family. We love Shepherding a Child’s Heart as well.
Amen, amen, amen!!!
Yaaaas girl! I am shocked anyone would comment on your parenting, as you are doing an AMAZING job! To suggest the Weston would ever be embarrassed by something you posted of him as a toddler is just insane. You would never raise Wes to be embarrased by a silly thing he did as a toddler, anyway. Keep doing you and know that you have the love and support of so many of us. Please do not allow the opinion of one to change how you blog or post, because the rest of us love the stories of your amazing boys 🙂
You rock. You handled this beautifully.
I am a HUGE fan of IBI and UBU.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a child with sensory and regulatory needs and I feel I am ALWAYS judged for his behavior. Mama your own kids, not mine 🙂
I have just one thing to say….
I Love YOU. <3
You make me proud to be a momma and a woman.
Whaaat?
I’ve been following you for years, and I completely disagree with that woman. As someone who doesn’t have kids, I love following your sweet family. You guys are awesome.
I come from a family of five kids and my mom had three boys before she had me…and then my sister…so looking forward to seeing your daughter.
Wow! Just Wow! VERY Well Said. On so many levels. And, yes, you are so correct: we see only the snippets YOU choose to share with us. I’m glad I found your blog. I’m glad you share. Thank you.
Katie, I have never once, in all the time I have been reading your blog, thought that you were being anything but positive and loving to ALL of your children. You are wonderful parents to 4 beautiful boys and you are inspiring to me and so many other readers. Blessings to you and your family.
Beautifully said! And thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in being frustrated by the cultural norm of “personality squishing”. I’ve already been fighting that current and my son is only 9 months old!
Love this post! Who knew there was family-shaming on pictures?? I like that you are teaching how to react positively to embarrassing photos/moments rather than letting others shame and dictate your feelings over something relatively harmless. Of all the things in the world to nitpick on… right?
I see nothing but love when you post your personal photos.
Preach, girl! Love it!!!
HALLELUJAH, AMEN, and RING THE CHURCH BELLS!!!
Not sure what to say, but Like, Like, Like! I love reading your stories and the embarrassment thought never came up.
Thank you! My husband and I often talk about these type of things in parenting. We see people trying to shelter their children but we’ve decided that if we shelter them from every bad choice, embarrassing moment, or painful circumstance how then can we teach them how to respond? They will be adults one day on their own of their own mind (not that they don’t have their own mind now but they still look to us) and how will they know how to respond if we don’t help them through similar things now. We want our children to see us as a safe place, a place they can come to and discuss those hard moments. We teach them grace and forgiveness and love praying they take away part of it. We don’t get it right Often sometimes we might get one thing right a day, sometimes none of it. That’s where the grace and forgiveness and love come in and it’s great to teach our kids that we have bad days like that. Love you sharing your heart and sharing your boys and their different personalities.
Your writing skills to convey your feelings are as good as your makeover skills! Hurray for all of us reading that you are in our lives, and I think you’ve posted a picture or two of the “realities pictures” that are from a blooper reel and I loved it even MORE than the final picture. (hope that made sense) . Good work to both you and your husband!
I just want to say that I think your response, several months after the event, was really well thought-out. I’d have reacted with all caps and way too many curse words, immediately.
Secondly, I have never noticed any sort of preferential treatment in the way you write about, or photograph, your boys. They are clearly all unique and special, and loved. Bravo, mama.
This post was excellent. I don’t think that woman meant the harm she caused, but she was insensitive to the difficulties moms face every day. If only moms spent more time encouraging and less time tearing each other down.
Personal note: When my son was 4, he sang in church with other little kiddos. We had told him to keep his hands in his pockets the whole time so he wouldn’t pick his nose. He did keep his hands in his pockets. And messed with his penis the whole time in front of THE WHOLE CHURCH. And that is a story we tell because we have taught him that embarrassing moments of youth happen to everyone. If you don’t see them as funny and give yourself some grace, you will see them as humiliating for the rest of your life.
Keep it up, mama!
I have a wildfire child as well and I agree with everything you have said. I can’t and won’t protect him from being embarrassed by his antics as a child (they are legendary in our large network of family and friends). I can only teach him how to respond (with humor, grace and humility) and how to see the unique parts of his personality as gifts.
yes! thank you for posting this and sharing your heart and your family with us all. much love mama!
Katie, I am sitting here GOBSMACKED!! I have been reading your blog for YEARS and I have never once thought that you were humiliating any of your children! Whoever wrote that comment is severely mistaken.
As a fellow momma of four sons, I so agree with what you said. Boys are physical beings and are rambunctious and noisy and crazy! I have been on the receiving end of a rude and false comment about my kids by a family member who has only girls. What a world of difference! We raise our boys to love the Lord, love others and show that love to all. We aren’t perfect but our goal is to raise godly men. Sometimes it happens with pants pulled up (or down), frogs in weird places, wrestling, smacking of butts, etc. And that’s what boys are like. I do refuse to ever say “boys will be boys” because I think that’s an excuse for bad behavior but as we have learned, boys are very different from girls and 1 boy alone is different from 2 or 3 or 4 together. It is exponential. They are like puppies. And I love my four puppies dearly…just like I can see you do too. Hugs to you all.
While I have been a reader for years, this is one of my favorite posts I’ve ever read. I’m the mom to a 22-month old who is wild, kind, hilarious and constantly keeping me on my toes. I have family near and close, and use Facebook/Instagram to keep connected with, and have shared both loving and embarrassing stories of my son. I could only imagine the sadness I would feel to be sent the message you received. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your thoughts. It really struck me. We’re all different in the ways we raise our kids, but we should all be lifting each other up.
Bless you, Katie! Really. I just love the honesty of this blog – how you decorate, how you create, how you share, and how you parent. You asked for similar stories, so here’s personal story to let you know you’re not alone. I am just five foot tall, so one of my boys is, naturally, smaller than a lot of his friends. I had just started letting him play alone with the neighbor kids with my older son one month. One day, he walked in alone (his older brother was supposed to come with him, and surprise, surprise, he decided to come home alone) and said there was a woman outside wanting to talk to me. I went outside and came face to face with a stranger. She berated me for letting my child walk alone. I explained that he’s 7, he looks younger than he is, he was with his older brother and friends who all wander and play alone from home to home, and he was right up the street in a neighbor’s yard that I could see from my house with kids and parents that I knew, I think he’s fine. She said, well, kids even older than that have been kidnapped and she didn’t think I should do that. When I started to say, but YOU are the STRANGER that followed my child home!!!, she suddenly said, “well, you’re the parent, you do what you want” and got in her car and drove away. I was completely shocked and felt horrible, even though all of his friends were walking to other kids’ houses alone already, wandering around the neighborhood and playing outside because we all know each other. I just knew I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. Time has made me realize she was probably just an overprotective grandma and “maybe” well-meaning, but at the time my husband and I were very close to calling the cops to tell them a strange woman was following children around. We quickly realized that would have been an overreaction, just as hers was. Times have changed. When I was 5, I walked home from kindergarten alone. Now , unfortunately, you can’t do that. (I wonder how many people reading this will think I was wrong too!) In hindsight, the whole incident was totally out of place and served no purpose in life except to tear someone else down to build her up in some odd way. Just like that comment you got. You keep doing you, and Weston needs to keep doing Weston.
I just love your heart, Katie. All we can all do is our best. I love the glimpses you share of your life, don’t let the negativity bring you down. I wish we could be friends 🙂
I stopped following the blog and instagram a while ago, because it was feeling too advertisey. But I still followed you on Facebook and found my way back to your blog when I saw on Facebook that you were having another kid! Because what I LOVE about your blog- have always loved, will always love- is how much you love your family, how open you are about your love for them, as well as your sometimes struggles with LIFE (as we all have). I think it’s crazy that anyone would for one second question that. Also, if anything, I thought you posted MORE positive pics and comments about Weston than the others. 😉 No doubt that he (and all his brothers, and his soon to be sister) are SO loved.
ROCK ON! I have a gentle kitten daughter and a fiery adventurous daughter. They are BOTH wonderful! I try to encourage them to be as weird and silly as possible…life is just too short to be worried about how we look all the time. Be weird. Go through a solid awkward phase. Develop character and personality. Love God and His people.
And of course…rock on.
Katie,you got this. You tell em momma.
This is my absolute favorite post from you, EVER. The fact that a complete stranger actually believes that she is a better judge of how your posts are going to affect your child is absurd. Does she think Weston lives in solitary confinement, and his only interaction with you will be when he’s freed at 21 and gets to read your blog? Katie, you were far kind to this person in your post than I can be. She is an idiot. And she should be ashamed of herself.
Well done on a clear, thoughtful, graceful response. I have noticed people commenting on Weston and I think they are utter nastiness hiding itself as concern. You clearly love and delight in all your kids. Keep going and do not let those hateful remarks knock you xx
Love this so very much!
I really appreciate how you are able to respond to folks with such a graceful heart! What a testimony to how God is working in your heart and family!
While I don’t agree with any part of that comment that was directed to you, I’m thankful that she wrote it because it led to this well thought out and written post today. May your words encourage many young mothers today. You shared your heart and it will bless others. Keep doing what you do!
Love this, Katie. My daughter is a “wild fire” and I struggle with raising her to be a respectful, productive human being, but also someone with the guts and sense to follow her own path rather than obey me (or anyone) for the sake of being obedient. This post is inspirational, particularly the reminder that the Man Upstairs picked me to be her mama.
This was an amazing post! I whole-heartedly agree with everything you posted. I don’t have any children, but I teach a class of 13 6th graders, 11 of whom are boys. There is no controlling them, there is simply guiding them towards doing what they need to do in a way that they want to do it. We build forts (where they work), they did state-testing lounging on pillows on the floor and under blankets, they sit on the floor when they want to, and they are even allowed to wrestle with each other during recess. They do not all participate in all of these activities, but they are all different and they simply CANNOT sit still all day long. It’s preposterous to expect it. And I LOVE the quirks they show in my room. They act silly and wacky and we celebrate it. I don’t think you’ve ever posted anything embarrassing about your children. All I see is a Momma who loves her boys with all her heart and loves them for who they are.
I don’t think she’s an idiot – like I said in the post I think she was concerned and said something. Maybe it was misplaced, maybe she experienced deep embarrassing moments herself, I don’t know. But I don’t want the message to be negativity towards other mamas…but more recognition of how our culture can assimilate our thinking into something is wrong.
xo kb
AMEN! I’ve never thought anything you posted was anything more than cute or funny. But the thing I agree with the most is that HE’S YOUR KID! YOU get to choose, not anyone else. I don’t write a blog but I’ve experienced people telling me I shouldn’t share certain pics of my kids (even though all my social media is private), but I have to remind them that they don’t have to look at the pics. What I choose to share is up to me. How and what you share should be up to you. We’re here for the ride, not to tell you how to drive.
Thank you so much for this post. I needed it. It was an encouragement straight from the Lord. Just today at a play date, my 3 yr old was rambunctious and wild (who he is -300% boy) and I had moments in my heart of embarrassment, and what you wrote, this is truth. My boy has been made perfect by God and this post was a reminder to me of that. And my 2 yr old boy is perfect as well, with his wild side, but gentle side too. Thank you so much for your honesty, love and wisdom.
Well said! 🙂
Oh Katie, this is such a great post. I am raising two little wildfires of my own and man, it is tough work. I have continually struggled to get my boys accepted for being wiggly and loud and non-conforming. My kids DO NOT fit the typical mold and it’s soooooo hard. In fact, my oldest has struggled so much and we’ve been told so many times that he is “atypical” and “outside the norm” “different from other kids” that we put him through extensive testing to try and find out what was “wrong”. As it turns out, they diagnosed him as being highly gifted. And that definitely doesn’t mean he’s perfect, it means he thinks differently that most people. He comes at problems in another way. And if people would just stop and watch him, rather than focusing on the “bad” behavior, they would see what a neat kid he is. I get parenting advice CONSTANTLY. And I just want to tell people to stop. Because they don’t know me and they don’t know what it’s like to raise my kids. Sometimes it’s awesome, and sometimes it sucks. But it’s for me and my husband to bear, not others.
In all honesty I find those wild fire children the BEST!!! They are so fun! ❤ Every kid is different. I adore your kids because they are real. I don’t know who peed in the trash can in the big boys room but hilarious ! I sent that post all over. Keep rocking it!
I fully support you Katie. I can tell you are a great mama even just from your highlight reel. I’ve followed your blog since I was pregnant with my first and you were expecting Will (saying that seems weirdly personal since I don’t really know either of you!). Anyway…good for you for standing up for yourself. Keep doing you girl!
Amen!! As a mother of a wildfire child, I totally agree. He wasn’t made to sit still and not wiggle he was made to go and you know what? That’s fine w me. Let’s run through the yard together, he’s only little once!
x 1000!!!!!
I love how you handled this.
Beautiful post. This can be applied to so many things, to all relationships not just children. I loved this, I can tell I will find myself coming back to this post when I am struggling with staying on the track I’ve set for myself. Thank you for sharing! <3
Love this – thank you so much for sharing. Mom-ing is so hard as it is, we really shouldn’t make it any harder by being judge-y and instead we can respect another mom’s ability to chose what is best for her and their children!
I love the conviction with which you wrote this. It home for me, both as a former child and as a parent. I was raised to fit with the “culturally acceptable” definition of a girl, and I love that you phrased it that way because its true. I did sports and all that, but personality wise, I was expected to be quiet and polite at all times. I was taught, indirectly, that feelings (especially “negative” ones like anger or jealousy) were to be tamped down in favor of sweetness and light. Now that I have my own kids, I’m having to retrain my own thinking, both towards my kids and myself. I truly believe in the philosophy that you’ve outlined here – that we have to embrace our kids fully for who they are as individuals (messy feelings and all) and guide them as they grow into who they are meant to be. It’s hard when I feel like my family expects my kids to be “good” like I was, and I have the lingering fear that society will judge them by the same standard. Let’s keep spreading the word. There are so many ways to be a good parent, and a good kid.
On the other hand, I sometimes feel judged bc my boy is shy and not a wild man. It’s always something – just keep on keeping on!
Amen. My daughter is a wildfire child. She is very feisty and emotional and can be quite difficult. And I don’t shy away from talking about that. Just like how I don’t shy away from talking about how smart, funny and loving she is. You are so right that we expect and praise kids for being quiet and reserved. Bottom line every kid is different and we need to celebrate and acknowledge the trials and triumphs of who they are. Exactly as you’re doing with your boys. Keep on keepin on.
When I read your blog all I see is how much you love your beautiful family. Your boys are so adored by you both. How lucky they are to be growing up with you as their parents 🙂 Take care.
As a mom of a girl with a bouyant spirit and a loud laugh, I totally get you! We have done everything we could to preserve our daughter’s spirit, including home schooling when we could see her spirit being stamped out of her at the public school, because she is who God made her to be and we LOVE her the way she is. Some people haven’t liked her personality much, but she is happy, loving, exuberant, caring, generous(to a fault) and so empathetic she hurts sometimes. She teaches me to be these things every day, and I wouldn’t change a thing about her. She is 17 and ready to graduate high school in June. She has a heart for mission work and hurting people. Watch out world, here she comes!
(Slow clap) This is such a beautiful, heart-filled post. Thank you for your constant encouragement and grace you give to others and yourself. It’s refreshing and inspiring. You are an amazing writer and clearly a badass momma to those boys God entrusted to you.
You rock, enough said
Thank you! This was certainly a read that hit all the feels at just the right time. My oldest is 3 (and 1/2 because he is clear how he moortant that is) and he is my lion. I would want him no other way but I certainly feel that he gets a bad rap for that even from family. My nephew is tha same age and a kitten so it can make this stand out even more. Well you get the picture. Thank you, thank you!
Oh what people say under the guise of “being helpful!” I’ve always thought you have done a fantastic job of highlighting each of your children and displaying your love for them. Keep up the great work, Katie! You are raising wonderful human beings!
Katie, I love your blog and am a long-time reader. I have never come away feeling like you are shaming your kids. I can tell how much you love them and am so encouraged knowing that my wild kids aren’t the only ones out there! Your blog is real and so refreshing, keep up the good work!
AMAZING post! I am stunned that this women who doesn’t even know you personally felt it was okay to say those things. Besides the fact that I think she is completely off base, other than possibly a sister, best friend, or mother-who has the never to comment on another woman’s mothering???? I for one am a long, long time follower of your blog and I think you are seriously ROCKIN’ mommyhood! I have a 19 year old daughter and a 20 month old son(yep, you read it right) and most days he makes me insane(although I love him to the moon and back). How you keep your sanity with all your little men is beyond me but you do it like a champ(and lookin’ all adorable too which just isn’t fair). You hang in there and don’t let one(or two or three) judgmental folks steal one second of joy away from those sweet boys. You KNOW you are doing a great job and that’s all that matters!
I have four beautifully wonderful kids that include a kitten and a tiger, so I have a frame of reference, and I have never thought anything you’ve posted was demeaning to your kids in any way. In fact, I’ve admired how well you show off your kids and highlight their individuality. It’s so obvious that you love them and are teaching them the righteous path, keep it up, Mama!
I am in tears reading this. Amen! My son & my nephew are such different boys – my son the more active, willful, expressive boy. I already struggle with how people feel about his personality.
This is a beautiful essay with a clear voice and HUGE heart, just like your little Weston.
As a mama to a little girl that is also wild fire It was so refreshing to read your post. It sucks when people think they can parent better than you when they have NO IDEA the details of your life. I praise you for addressing it.
I remember that picture and it gave me a good chuckle. I thought to myself, “what an awesome kid, he’s hilarious”. Anyway, your words are written beautifully. All your children are beautiful and you can tell they all have their own fun personalities. It is very apparent you love each of your children fiercely. A few things about Weston that stand out is that he is a ham for the camera, he loves his babies, and he’s a big sweetheart. I think they will enjoy looking back at all these pictures and all the memories you will have at the ready for them. I bet your Weston is going to go crazy over his new baby girl, and it is so sweet how they call girls princesses.
Long-time reader (since before any of your kids were born!) and just wanted to say… You have never posted anything that indicates anything but love and admiration of every one of your boys. Weston is and always has been such a cutie and I love hearing about him (just like the rest!) Excited to see how adorable and LOVED your little Miss is going to be… Keep doing you!
Thank you for the glimpse you give us and the strenght tho speak your mind.
Thank you as a fellow blogger…I put a lot of thought into what I send out into the world! My aim as you said is to encourage always. Love you Katie! We were hand picked by God for our kids – no one can do it better for our families!
My sis feels that same way with one of hers! But she is a great reminder to me to encourage the little ones no matter what end of the spectrum they fall on 🙂
xo kb
I love your blog and your response.
I have a wild fire, who is now 10 and much less of a wild fire but more a creative free spirit. We often talk about the crazy, funny and adventurous things she did as a 2, 3, 4 yr old. She loves to hear about them and asks for the same stories. She laughs so hard about the time she decked a kid during the Christmas play at Kindergarten. He pulled her hair and she decked him. Like you we teach our kids about the joys in life and not to take ourselves too seriously.
Thank you for you thoughtful response!
X From down under
I’ve been reading your blog for about 6 years now and never felt that you were humiliating any of your kids-totally the opposite! From your posts it’s been so evident that you are super proud and so in love with each one of your boys! So crazy that someone would read it that way.
I am currently going through the Shepherding a Child’s Heart study at my church right now too and it’s been such a blessing and so convicting!! As long as I don’t get distracted by Ted Tripp’s big bushy mustache!
Thanks for being a light for Jesus in the internet world. I can imagine that it’s not so easy when comments like that come up-but know that you are truly an encouragement to so many mamas! And people in general! Keep at it sis!
Katie,
As someone who has followed your blog and instagram for years, and as a currently childless someone amticipating their own family soon, thank you for the glimpse. The small bits of family happiness that you share help me feel like I know you, as a follower. I have been long cognizant of trying not to judge and advise peer parents, and hope the same understanding you encourage in you post for myself as well as current and future mama’s everywhere. Thank you for your earnesf portrayal of your family’s privacy and sharing guidelines. You are such a good peer and model.
Erica, Los Angeles
P.s., can’t wait for your girl!
Very well said, Katie! From a mama of a tween and teen boy – 100% agree!
This is one of your boldest and most beautifully written posts ever… And you are SO SO right!!
(And for the record… Not that I’ve ever felt compelled to share this… But I’ve always thought that Weston might secretly be your favorite child!! Obviously I don’t know you either, but it’s just so funny how all of us who don’t know you can look at the snippets of your life and draw totally different conclusions. I LOVE how you seem to appreciate each of your kids as true individuals, and they come across as such awesome young men on this blog.)
Amen! Amen! Amen!
Thank-you for having the courage to stand up to the negativity this world showers on moms of wildefire kids!
Be strong in the Lord and be of good courage…
(Hugs)
I’ve got at tiger girl and I completely agree with you…our society shames the spirited kids. Especially the girls – cause they’re not supposed to be wild. But I love her energy and spirit. She wouldn’t be my girl without it! Thanks for your message:)
I’ve been a long time reader (I found you right after you had Weston) but I believe this is the first time I’ve commented. I have NEVER once thought you were ever shaming your children! You can tell how much love and pride you have in the. People think that because they get a snippet into your life that they have the whole picture. I love all of your words in this post…they are 100% true. Keep doing you and let the haters move on!
And this is why you need to keep on having litter Bower nuggets 🙂 The world needs more Mom’s like you. I believe your blog helps other Mom’s realize life with kids is messy and that is it not all a picture perfect place. Our world pigeon holes kids, to their detriment, they are not all made the same. God made us unique for a reason. You need to let kids be who He made them to be and you do that. I do believe the readers comments were out of love, she just totally missed the mark. I hope she reads this blog with an open mind and gains some insight. I look forward to more glimpses of your family’s life.
little Bower nuggets … not litter … oops
I totally agree with what you said about heart issues! Parenting is so much more than controlling the outside. We won’t be able to make an inch of difference in our kids lives and behavior until we reach the deep, core, heart issues of the problem at hand! Shepherding a Child’s Heart is a great book. Can we please arrange some marriages between your boys and my girls? LOL. Just kidding……mostly.
I don’t think she’s an idiot either. And I think you’re wise to recognize the difference between a truly mean spirited comment and a comment that comes from a place of concern…..no matter how ill-placed…..for your child’s well being. 🙂
I’m so glad I read this today.
We had one of those kids. We had those people and their advice. He WAS atypical. He WAS outside of the norm. He was also gifted, kind-hearted, curious, mercurial, funny and always thought outside of the box. He still is and still does. He’s 31 now. Love them as they are. Normal is just a statistical mid point mark on a graph. 🙂
Go mama bear! Preach it!
Loved reading this Katie! And as I thank you I wanted to say something that maybe you will like to read it too! 🙂 The positive attitude you explain is a vibe I always got from you! Bower Power is like a happy place in the blog world!
From all the blogs I follow you are by far the one who made me laugh the most! 🙂 Love your words, your photos and all your work with the blog! I will keep following with great affection your family’s path! Congratulations for your little girl!! Wish you all the best!!
Well that lady was just dumb. Well said.
Awesome blog post, Katie!
I think you are doing the right thing. The stats on child abduction are down from when we were kids. It isn’t really a drastically more dangerous world, we just hear about it more on the 24 hour news cycle. Most abductions/abuse are by family members, anyway.
I let my boys walk the neighborhood, too, and ride their bikes around. They are 14, 11 and 8. They need and deserve the opportunity to feel independent, to learn how to be out in our little world of our neighborhood on their own. It will make them smarter, stronger and braver. The younger two have already planned the path they will take to walk or bike to high school, which is about a mile from our house. They are confident boys.
Right on, Katie! Wonderful post and insight. I personally love seeing all the pictures of your boys, each one showing off their different, unique personalities and cuteness. I never once questioned you were making a spectacle of or were upset with the behavior of any of your boys. Instead, I felt your love and pride for each one of them and and their good, loving hearts. A mom could not love her children any more than you do, Katie. ❤️
Thank you. I have a loud tiger too and am so sad when I catch myself apologizing for him being him. I needed this. ❤️
Katie,
I didn’t raise my kids online but I remember the kids saying that I tell “all their business” to my friends. I would be so proud of them or tell a story about something silly they did. That’s how I showed that I was loving them and how smart they are. Sometimes they didn’t understand but as a single mom, I didn’t have a partner to share with. We all do the best we can with what God gave us. Keep on truckin’ because I think sharing helps us all be better parents and better people.
I’ve been reading your blog since before you had kids, and I’m so glad you wrote this. Blogs (or any kind of social media really) give a lot of people this weird false sense of intimacy with the people they follow. They create an entire narrative about a virtual stranger’s life from some photos and snippets of their life. We see SO very little of a person’s daily life through social media so some of the judgments people make about bloggers are just bizarre to me. It’s like looking at someone’s photo album and then writing a novel about their life and calling it a biography. People have always been judgmental, but the Internet has taken it to a whole new level!
It’s very apparent that you love your family and appreciate all your kids’ personalities. I think the wild ones are the most fun. Boy, could I tell some stories about our son when he was growing up! I never knew what he was going to do or say next, and he grew up to be a wonderful, successful, well-adjusted adult, even though I told (and still tell) hilarious stories about his childhood antics.!
Well said, Katie, well said! I have followed your blog for years and have never perceived anything but full out love for all your kids from your posts. You do you, mamma! (And you are far more gracious and forgiving than most of us are…) God bless you and your beautiful family.
So well put! We to focus on building each other up and accept we are different and do/allow different things (and that’s ok) I love reading about you, your kids and of course your projects a lovely little window into your life
I agree, I’ve always enjoyed the tiny glimpses into their individual personalities – how they differ and develop is the best thing about kids. I had no idea there were ongoing comments singling out Weston as there is just no proof to that pudding.
Personally, Weston is my favorite. He marches to his own beat and will shine and shine and shine because of your love. Good job Mom-you do know best.
Katie I absolutely love this post! You couldn’t be anymore spot on and it makes me crazy how people think it’s their “business” to overstep major boundaries and say things that really should be no concern to them. Your exactly right we get a glimpse and not a single one of us knows what goes on in your home daily! I’m so glad you stood up for yourself and your family! We all love our babies and how dare someone suggest your shaming your child. Couldn’t be anymore ridiculous. I love your heart and love seeing your wild fire as I’m raising one of my own.
You’re a gem of a mama for your kiddos. God bless you & your family 🙂
Hi Katie,
I am a mom of 3 boys and 1 little girl and I just could’t let this opportunity go by to say thank you. Thank you for putting what I cannot verbalize about motherhood into words. Thank you for your beautiful, heartfelt posts that make me realize I am not the only mom out there who feels as you do about her kids. Thank you for standing strong when there are people out there who just don’t get it.
I was once told by a fellow mother that she didn’t think it was right to “tease” or have fun with kids because they wouldn’t grow up to take anything seriously. I was so sad for her kiddos and realized that I rarely saw them smiling, and I have to wonder if that particular mom took everything so seriously that she was missing out on enjoying her kids while they were young.
My kids are now older, my oldest son is 15 and my youngest (my little princess ;-)) is 6. I love to read your blog and remember my boys at the ages your boys are at now. I had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 30, and whether or not I would have added any more sweet spirits to my family, I miss what might have been. We are knee deep in the teenage years (my oldest is about to get his driver’s permit), and I long for the days when the hardest thing I had to do was make his peanut butter sandwich *just right*.
You are a gift to so many! I appreciate your wit and your style and I never once thought you were shaming sweet Weston. I’ve actually laughed out loud many times as I compared him to my 2nd son who is a real character himself. Keep up the good work and may the Lord continue to bless your family! We live just outside Chattanooga, and we also have a Polaris side by side, so if you’re ever in the neighborhood and would like to know some good trails, let me know ;-).
Katie, you are THE best Jedi knight ever. This Canadian mama absolutely adores your blog and every.single.kid.photo. You only have to answer to God and He is most certainly proud of you and your family.
Oh I should have noted that I do not publish negative demeaning or critical comments but they live in comment purgatory as they wait forever to be approved. If it is about curtains or paint color – yes but not about kids, family members etc.
xo kb
Great post Katie.
PREACH, Mama Bear!!! It takes a special kind of bravery and vulnerability to share your life with the blogosphere as you do, and I am so happy to see that you are not letting these comments (even those offered out of a ‘concerned heart’) make you question what you are doing or how you are doing it. And, for the record, in the glimpse you have given us into who Weston is, I see a kid very much like one of my nephews: he is also the second boy, and he is funny and goofy, with the most beautiful big, tender heart. I have only ever seen love for your children in every single thing you post.
KB- I am a long time reader as well and I have never seen anything but LOVE from you when you write about your boys. You are doing you and doing a fabulous job! Please don’t change, we love you exactly the way you are. ❤❤
Timely comment. I try to think, would I say this if we were talking face to face? If not, I shouldn’t be putting it in print. I appreciate the work that goes into blog posting and we get it all for free. I don’t think we have any real idea just how hard you work to put together one of your DIY posts … or any of the others.
I’d love a post behind the scenes about the rest of the blogging iceberg we never see… And for all this hard work? We pay you nothing.
I felt the same way! No explanation needed!
Wow. As a boy mom as well, all I can say is good on you momma. You have plenty of people here who understand and support you.
I appreciate your comments about recognizing and parenting toward heart issues. I’m right there with you! If my kiddo wants to do somersaults and sing while putting her toys, then by all means go ahead! She’s obeying what was asked of her. Over time, I trust that the fruit of all that heart tending will manifest itself in action. And Shepherding a Child’s Heart is on my shelf to read soon. (We’re reading Show Them Jesus now, which I would also highly recommend!)
This is a beautifully and brilliantly written post!! My own mama heart needed to hear this!
I adore your blog and what you so generously share about your family. Thank you for being you! <3
It must be so hard to be in the public eye being a Mom. You and Jeremy do a wonderful job sharing your life and all of your DIY on your blog. One of my favorite photos of me as a child is me standing on a chair, in my diaper, making a silly face. If that photograph was posted on social media, I bet there’d be pitchforks. “Why is that kid standing on a chair, they could fall! What a terrible Mom for not dressing their kid!” It takes one glance to judge a photo and I think we all need to remember that they are just an instant in time and not the whole story.
Katie,
I love reading your blog and have been inspired so many times by your style/diy tips. Your children are adorable and I can tell that you are an excellent mom.
I have to say, though, that this virtual world we live in sometimes gives me concern. The fact that strangers get to glimpse into your life – would make me uncomfortable, which is part of the reason that I haven’t started a blog. Not only from a judgmental perspective (like this person that was criticizing you about Weston), but also from a privacy perspective – it all seems so intrusive. It’s important to find that right balance of sharing/oversharing.
I’ve been reading your blog since Will was teeny-tiny (found you through Sherry at YHL), and like many others have posted, I’ve never thought you singled out one child or were critical of your boys. I admire the wonderful job you and Jeremy are doing with all of your kids, and I think you have such a grateful and loving heart that shows in everything you post. Please keep sharing all the things you are comfortable sharing–it makes reading your blog feel like talking with a friend, even though we’ve never met.
I have followed your blogs for years. Years! I love it. The DIY, the decor, the family, the humor. I have 5 children 11 and down. I am so glad that you have a level head about this. None, not one of your kids will ever look back and be embarrassed about the posts. They come from a loving, fun filled house with 100% comfort. So they will grow up will all that and laugh about all the things. Please, don’t let comments like that discourage you. Stuff is just funny, kids are funny. From one momma to another, love posts with kids being funny, stubborn, adorable. We aren’t alone:)
Katie–Weston and ALL of your boys are adorable! But, you certainly don’t need me to tell you this because you have this awesome and blessed opportunity to be their momma and be there with them every day: watching, parenting and marveling at all they do. I don’t know the context of the orginal email, but I certainly don’t think anyone would ever snark on your children or their behavior. I do believe that someone would be frustrated by how you negatively portray Weston, much more than your other three boys. Just as you said, we only get a glimpse…..so when the glimpse has a negative vibe, it is concerning.. You choose what you share, but it unfortunately is a pattern of negativism regarding Weston.
Katie- if you ever go into parenting seminars…. I will be there! Thank you for this. I have a strong willed tiger that is often frowned upon because many other children in our family are kittens. BUT, I will take a tiger any day because they will move mountains! You are correct that our culture needs to change. We are focused on trying to put the square peg in a round hole with raising children.
He reminds me so much of my youngest. They just have these silly moments, and it makes us laugh! Every single time I read your posts, I think you seem like a mom who loves your boys so very much, and you do so many fun things with them. Even when you are pregnant and must be exhausted! You definitely inspire me to be a better, more fun mom!!!
Keep on keepin’ on, mama! You’re doing a knock-out job. I appreciate your response and transparency. 🙂
So sad that someone said something like that to you. I don’t write a blog and can’t imagine the horrible things people say to you. Sorry you have to read comments like that. So many of us love and adore your posts and family. I am never offended or think negatively of anything you ever post. Too bad there are negative people in this world, they miss out on so much good in life. I hope it doesn’t change the way you share your life with us. We love the Bowers!!!!!!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while and really felt pressed to comment on this post. I have never ONCE thought you were humiliating your children – and there can’t be enough comments letting you know that. I always come away with the feeling that the Bowers are doing it right. Not perfect, just their right. Keep doing what you’re doing, how you’re doing it. Us mama’s need to be positive with one another – it’s a hard, and scary and wonderful thing we do.
I think that is the point of this post….everything I share are things I am proud of. How others interpret things I share, well, I can not control that and like I explained in this post…it’s others perception that is off. I LOVE ALL the things about him….you or others may see those things as negative but I won’t eliminate that from my feed or my story because YOU think it’s negative…because I truly don’t. I gotta stick to my guns on this one…he is an amazing creative and passion kid who is wild about Daddy, babies, animals and is just plain hilarious….I hope that others realize that!
xo – kb
I have also read your posts for years. I have never thought you were ever trying to humiliate any of your children. I always see you bragging on them and showing us their sweet personalities. I enjoy your sharing your children’s adventures. Keep up the good work.
This is your space and you can write as your heart desires and as you said, it’s our choice as to whether or not we read it. I always enjoy your posts and my visits here in your little corner of blogsphere. Have a great week!
I needed this today, thank you! I too agree that our society puts unrealistic expectations at times on young developing minds and bodies. I have both the tiger, and the kitten and they are both amazing kids.
You go girl! For what it’s worth (and I see a few other people have said this already) – I NEVER ONCE saw anything other than pride, joy, and love (and laughter!) shining through in your posts, topic being kids or otherwise. I really appreciate that you politely held your ground and suggested that readers can go elsewhere — I know that is probably “risky” but honestly, it just makes all the rest of us that more fiercely loyal supporters.
Also… I feel like this reminds me of when I went to college and was so excited that I could choose my own friends (my high school was tiny, so I got the 14 girls in my class and that was it). And it’s also somehow connected to your post about girl friends. Sometimes people just aren’t good fits, but it’s a beautiful thing that each of us (stinkers and otherwise) have this big old world that we can turn around and find people who fit well.
Thanks for leading the way in being strong and being an awesome example of sticking to your guns. I know I’m supposed to be a “grown up” but I feel like there can never be enough good examples to teach me.
<3
I have often thought about starting a blog but I could not handle the trolls.
I too have been following you for years and nothing I have ever read here made me think you were humiliating any of your kids. Just a stupid comment from someone who has way too much time on their hands.
I love reading about your projects and your family. I love that you keep it real. Just keep doing what your doing because you excel at DYI, motherhood and life in general.
High Five, lady! x
Katie, I too am a long time fan…and I have NEVER seen what this commenter describes. From my perspective, you are doing everything right, not in the sense that you are perfect, but that you are just a mama loving her kids and figuring it out as you go like the rest of us. Your posts, pics, captions ALL display that you love your family above all else (guided by your faith). Thank you for sharing your life. That commenter is waaay far off and should reconsider herself before passing judgement on a fellow mama from behind a screen. I love your response and continue to be a fan 🙂 and friend, as much as that is possible as a loyal blog reader.
YES, Mama Bear.
I know this post is old, but I had to comment because I loved this. I’ve been reading for a long time, and I NEVER got the impression that you treat your kids, ALL your kids, with anything but respect and love.
I just found this article thanks to a YoungHouseLove podcast (although I do read your blog consistently as well, I just missed this post somehow) and I wanted to comment on how much I appreciate it. I always appreciate your openness and honesty. While I love all the design aspects of your blog, I also really view it as a family and parenting blog. I have three boys and a new baby girl and I love when I see similarities to our life in your blog posts and instagram photos. It’s such a crazy chaotic life we have and it’s so comforting and fun to see others going through the same thing! Oh, we love “Shepherding a Child’s Heart,” and I recently started recommending “Give Them Grace” by Elyse Fitzpatrick as well; check it out if you haven’t already. Oh, and one more thing, we are going to stop at The Story Shop on our way up 441 today, and I can’t wait! Thanks for sharing such a unique find!
I am in awe of your thick skin, and I also love letting kids be kids, as you say.
And people are NUTS
Love having a positive, Christian, and REAL mamma to follow out there. Have a blessed new year!