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Lost Baby

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Juicy post?  Not really. 

At least I hope not.  Especially since it is about my son finding something in the bathroom and putting it in his mouth…

Let’s start over.  less disgustingly. 

I sometimes lose my son.  Not on purpose.  Although I could do it on purpose.  But I didn’t mean to this time.  It just happened.  He’s got that super-sonic crawling now, ya know.  And I think I was doing something very important like checking the blog to neglect the little Tinkler. 

That is when I realized it was silent.  That silence is dangerous.  I grabbed my camera and when huntin’.

 

This is what I found…

Yes, I am that mother that snaps photos as my child eats toilet paper. 

I figure he’s got to increase his fiber intake anyway. 

Maybe all the fiber will help him sleep better at night…a girl can wish, right?!

Ever lose a baby?  Where’d you find em?  What were they doing? 

On a completely different note…we have started calling the Tinkler a bunch of different nicknames.  Most of them have to do with his hair.  He’s got crazy hair.  It’s like the old Kate Gosslin hair before she got all ‘enhanced’.  It’s like a little mullet near the neck, spiky on top, and business in front.  And there is not a shred of sideburn in sight.  This interesting coif earned him the following names:  Chicken, Friar Tuck, Monkey, Goosling, and Wee Breesy (after Drew Brees).  Of course, he still only responds regularly to one name…Baby.

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  2. not kidding, today I looked up to see my son literally swinging from the chandelier. he had climbed up on our kitchen table while I was checking my email (in the same room!) and when I looked up he was giggling and hanging on for the ride. he is two.

    I got him down immediately and he is fine.

    after suffering a minor panic attack, I am fine too. 😉

  4. What an adorable little boy!
    I too lost my baby one time…she was supposed to be asleep. She was two and I was downstairs. I heard something I shouldn’t have from the upstairs bathroom. I went to investigate and there was my little girl FILLING the toilet with billows upon billows of toilet paper! There was so much it was way up over the top of the lid and she was obviously having a blast. Wish I’d had my camera that day.

  5. Just wait until he’s walking and learns how to open the toilet! I found my daughter putting all the toilet paper in the potty and then pulling it back out and putting it on the floor! Gross!

  8. Great pictures!! The title should have been Good Will Hunting! This is only the beginning… hope to see more fun shots from the next hunting adventure 🙂

  9. I also lost my 10 month old & found him in the bathroom… splashing in the toliet! I guess it’s time to install the unsightly toliet locks.

  11. In summer, my mom used to let my older brothers get dirty playing in the backyard, then hose them off before taking them inside. One time she washed off my oldest brother (two years old), turned to get myother brother (then the baby) and turned around to find the oldest gone. She found him a minute later, standing buck naked in the front yard and waving at all the passing cars.

    Another time she heard that ominous silence, and found my (about18 month old) brother in the living room. She’d been painting it while he napped. He was sitting on the floor in his diaper, rolling the paint roller up and down his body and licking it every time it went past his face.

  12. I found my daughter in our laundry room licking the water main pipe! Because of my degree- I was a research scientist at the time- my fear was lead poisoning or that she was lacking iron. So I immediately got her to the pediatrician to check for both, turns out the pipe was not lead and her iron was normal. She just liked to lick that pipe. We could always find her there!

  13. Haven’t had a baby yet to lose, but I’m sure I’ll be right there with you when we do! I lose the pups a lot and that’s EXTREMELY dangerous considering they are Boston Terriers and you can always hear them breathing… so if you can’t anymore… brace yourself for what you might stumble upon.
    On another note, that last photo of Will’s feet with the TP HAS to go up framed in your house somewhere. It’s priceless.

  15. We know that silence around our house, too! That usually means our little one is trying to get into the tub.. or worse, the toilet. Or the dog’s water bowl. The list goes on…

  16. When my son was about 18 months, I heard the ‘SILENCE’ and went to find him in his favorite room (the bathroom). He had discovered my drawer of makeup samples and had perfectly applied estee lauder’s reddest of red matte lipstick to his little lips … and his cheeks … and inside both ears! Did I mention that he applied about 5 coats of the stuff to himself and had also gave me a new wall border of little red handprints? Tip: dishwashing soap gets wax-based cosmetics off anything!

  17. Anytime it is quiet in my house, I am yelling “Let me hear you! Mommy needs to hear you! It’s too quiet!”

    I call my son “Boom” because he is always falling down going “boom!”

  18. My girls are 2 1/2 now and they can be pretty sneaky. When it dawns on me I haven’t heard them in awhile, I usually find them in my bedroom, putting on deodorant or lotion. Their brother did that when he was their age, but he made much bigger messes. He like watching it pile up on the floor, while the girls actually put it on themselves.

  19. I could not stop laughing after reading Friar Tuck. I think that one is gonna make me smile all day. Thanks for the hilarious post!

  20. My dog did this as a puppy. I’m slowly realizing there are a lot of similarities between puppies and babies. (I’m trying to learn as little about babies before I have them so I don’t get scared away….I should probably stop reading your blog…but it’s like crack. :P)

  21. We don’t have children yet so this story comes from a dear friend.

    Andrew was playing in the kitchen (which is half open to the living room but blocked by cabinets so he couldn’t be seen) while his mom was working on the computer in the living room. His mom could tell he was playing with the tupperware since she could hear him. It wasn’t until she started smelling pineapple that she got concerned. She couldn’t remember when the last time she bought pineapple was and how he would have gotten into the locked pantry. When she arrived to investigate she found Andrew head-to-toe covered in Pineapple Schnapps! Apparently there was a bottle at the back of one of the cupboards that she had forgotten about! Luckily he didn’t like the taste since he was making disgusted faces as the Schnapps dripped down his lips and after a quick bath he appeared sober!

  23. we have all sorts of nicknames for our little monkey too. A fun project I did was to create a word cloud print with them. Have yet to print and frame it b/c we keep coming up with new names but it is so much fun to create them. http://www.wordle.net

  26. OMG! I just watch several of those videos. Some people eat laundry detergent and kitchen cleansers! That has to be poisonous and doing bad things to your body!

  27. My house is too small to lose my babies, but once I showed up to babysit for my Youth Pastor… I walked up to the screen door and his baby was smearing ketsup all over it. Apparently he “lost” her while waiting for me!

  28. Love it! My little one (about two months younger than Will) also loves toilet paper! It’s a great toy when you have to get ready – just be sure to sweep out his mouth afterwards. And of course I took pictures of him eating it as well. 🙂

  32. No worries, he didn’t actually ingest any TP…I think he just got a kick of being able to pull the ‘endless’ roll. And he likes to do things that make me say “no no!”
    xo – kb

  38. That silence is definitely scary when you have a baby/toddler around. You know it can only mean one thing…..they are up to no good!
    I lose my 15 month old a lot and I usually find that he’s snuck into our office and is playing with the mouse and keyboard. When he sees me coming for him he runs out laughing hysterically!
    My suggestion is to get a lock for your toliet. Once mine could walk he loved to open the lid on the toliet and splash around. SO GROSS! It only happened twice before I ordered a toliet lock off amazon asap!

  39. I was cooking dinner while my two-year-old played nearby. After a bit I noticed that he was no longer there. Down the hall I heard unmistakeable sounds that he was playing with some forbidden object of his older brother. “Joshua!” I called, “What are you playing with?” Tense silence, then he says, “Not this!”

  40. I don’t have a “missing child” story since I am childless, but I just wanted to say that “Baby” (aka: Will) is SO stinkin’ cute!!! I love his PJ’s 🙂

  41. When our son Gunner was about 2.5 years old, I put him to bed in his toddler bed and came up to check on him an hour or so later and he wasn’t in bed. I couldn’t find him anywhere… talk about a flipping panic attack ( 1st thought is that he opened an upstairs windog… OMG)!!! Anywho, he curled up in our dog bed that was laying in the corner of our bedroom and I had walked by him 3 times before realizing it. After the panicking was over, I videoed him and had to laugh and laugh. He looked so stinking smooch… he had his head on the doggie pillow and was snuggling the doggie blanket! We still talk about that and it was over 3 years ago!

  42. I *love* the first picture of him after you “found him” in the bathroom: the look of utter concentration as he explores the paper. He is the cutest little scientist.

    I remember my mom saying “it’s too quiet, where is your brother?” and then she specifically went to get her camera before she went to find him. We found him (maybe 2.5 years old) in the bathroom in his diaper and a polo shirt. He had climbed up on the counter and covered his face, hair, legs, the mirror and then the inside of the entire bathtub with shaving cream. And yes, my mother has pictures of it!

  43. I love the 2nd picture (once you’re through the door) of his little pudgy foot curled around the toilet paper. Too cute.
    As for his hair? I guess it’s only funny because he’s a baby because if he were a grown man it might be considered a bad hair piece. Maybe one day you’re nickname will be Polamalu!

  44. Adorable! The pictures immediately made me think of the cover of the picture book “Love You Forever.”

    I have some good lost baby stories! Okay, they’re my mom’s, but still:

    #1) When my sister was just a couple months old, lying on the floor of the living room, and in no way mobile yet (as far as my mom knew), she just disappeared. My mom searched the house high and low, tore the place apart. No baby. Finally, I think, she heard a noise, and found my sister under the floor-length curtains by the window! She’d managed to roll a good foot or two, and my mom didn’t even know she could roll over yet! I think that the floor length curtains were banished from the house the next day. 😀

    #2) When my sister (do you sense a theme here?) was a little under 2 years old, she vanished, again. Same deal, house searched high and low, etc. My mom eventually found her in the back yard, butt naked, sitting on the swings and eating an orange from our orange tree. There are some great pictures in the family photo album from that.

  45. On another topic, those jammies are adorable! We seem to have pretty similar tastes – can you recommend any favorite kids clothing stores? I’m in a bit of a baby gap and carters rut with my little girl. Of course, that might be because they’re next door to each other ten minutes from my house…

  46. Snowman pajamas AND a close up of those toes! I could eat him up with a spoon (in the least cannabelistic way possible!)

    🙂

  50. Laughing because hubby just called our 2 year old son “Kate Gosselin” the other day because of his hair! Straight and flat in the front and fuzzy poofy in the back! (I think it’s his pillow case. He’s decided to sleep on a throw pillow on his bed instead of the actual bed pillow, and ever since then the back of his hair is CRAZY, like Kate Gosselin.)

  53. Now, I don’t have a baby. I do, however, have a brand new furbaby, and let me tell you, I can relate to that silence=danger…although instead of toilet paper my baby is usually eating trash (I bet he would eat toilet paper, too, though).

    Love your baby/home/blog/spirit!

  54. My youngest girl is 18 months. She has earned the name “Stinker” because she has a special fondness for the toilet. Not only have I found her playing in it, but I have found her eating the toilet paper from the toilet (that my 5-year-old had just peed on), dipping her binkie in her toilet and putting it in her mouth, and dipping an apple in the toilet and eating it. I have GOT to invest in one of those toilet locks. If she lives to be a teenager, I am planning on using this information as blackmail for when she starts dating. What boy is going to want to kiss a girl who likes to eat peed on toilet paper?

    Oh, and don’t even get me started on how many times she has pooped in the tub this week. . .

  55. I wish I could lose my baby sometimes – just joking but my not so little Thomas is 11 months and still neither crawling or walking. He’s very big for his age and I’m advised by everyone that bigger babies take a bit longer to get moving due to their size – not sure if they’re trying to reassure me that my little lump is normal. I know that once he starts moving I’ll wish he never moved in the first place. I know he’s keen to get going, eyeing things that he could explore if his bulky body would just get him there. Katie, little Will is lovely, I loved his 4 x 4 photos (hope that’s right, can’t quite recall and don’t want to check and lose this message). I did a 4 x 5 photo of my little one’s first year for his adoring grandparents for Xmas and they loved it. And it cost me less than $10 and was the best present I have ever given.

  57. Hi Erin,
    We are also Baby Gap people…but I have found that I can find a lot of cheap stuff that is still in good condition at Goodwill. Also, I love Children’s Place Outlet and sometimes Gymboree…but the selection is slim.
    xo – kb

  59. Not really relevant to this post, but I have nowhere else to put this….

    GO STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  60. Hilarious! Usually when I lose our nine month old he is obsessed with our dog’s food so he is either putting his hands in the water bowl or taking fist fulls of dog food and trying to shove them in his mouth. Awesome. 🙂 Cute pictures though! What a cutie!

  61. Love Will! He’s such a cutie!

    Our dogs eat toilet paper on a regular basis. We can’t keep it hanging because they unravel it and then eat it. So we set it on the sink. We came home the other day to find that it had snowed in the bathroom…oh no, wait. Our wiener dog had jumped up, gotten the roll, and shredded/eaten it. Who knew dachshunds could jump so high?

  64. Hah! I love how you take this and make it funny. My son used to do that, too. Or dip stuff in the toilet and attempt to taste it. ((He has sensory issues so he still would do both of these if he had the chance. He’s four and mouths EVERYTHING. Luckily he prefers to just go for what’s immediately available, like his collar, toys, or the wall)). You’re right, the silence is dangerous!!!

  65. the joys of motherhood, its so funny the things that they do. By the way you should check out the book the happiest baby on the block it has some great tips to help with sleeping through the night. my son woke up every 2 hours when he was a baby so i feel your pain.

  66. I am on baby #4 now so I have way too many lost baby stories. My first stuck close to me so I never had any stories till #2. She was doozie. I found her standing on the upright piano trying to reach the ceiling. Standing on our counter height table (naked) digging in my purse, but the best was when I found her spreading vaseline ALL. OVER. the bath room. It was slick for a while.
    Talking about that silence, when all my first 3 (all girls) were playing in the big girls room, it got reeeeal quiet. Then my oldest (who cannot tell a lie) came out with a bottle of baby powder and asked if we they had permission to use it. I said “Whyyyyyyyeee??” and followed her into their room to find EVERY surface covered. Carpet. Play kitchen. Beds. Baby dolls. Baby sister.
    I had to laugh. I just handed them a pack of wipes and told them to clean. Their room smelled baby fresh for quite a while (as did the vacuum!)

  67. Katie, you’re scaring me. My son is about two weeks younger than Will, so I’m well-aware of the “silence is bad” concept. However, he hasn’t gotten into anything too crazy yet (no tp or toilets), but your post reminds me it’s just a matter of time… I’m so in for it. 😉

    P.s. Will is so adorable!

  69. You’re so right- silence is very dangerous. A while ago I found my 2 year old son in his bedroom COVERED in baby powder. It was everywhere! Days later I realized I had missed a pile of the snow on the windowsill. But did I learn? heck. no. Not days after that, I called for him and he came to me with my coverup powder all over his face and clothes, only to find he had dumped it all over the bathroom as well. His next trick was to give himself a “black eye” with my mascara (after Grandma kept him happy in church earlier that day by letting him go through her purse). And just yesterday I spent too much time away painting and he dumped half a bag of Chex cereal on the (carpeted) living room floor and must have had a grand old time stopping and crunching in it. Bottom line: I clearly don’t pay near enough attention to him! But these will be good stories for when he’s older… silver lining.

  70. Please don’t think I’m a horrible mother, I’m really not:

    I was washing dishes in the kitchen and my 18 month old son was playing. I noticed it was quiet. He was no longer in the living room. I walked through the house calling his name. Then it hit me, the front storm door! My heart dropped. He must have learned to open the door because I ran outside and turned towards the back of the house and he was playing by the garbage cans. Needless to say we now have a lock on our storm door. I was very lucky!

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