Now let me start off with – this post is in no way a mom shaming post. If you had a baby and breastfeeding lasted one try, one week, one year or you had a wonderful steamy romance with your electric pump…breastfeeding is only one little thing that some moms do. I always say that if you tried (and only you know the answer to that) then you did it. YOU FREAKING DID IT. Even if nothing happened. Even if milk didn’t flow like honey…or…um…milk. You don’t have to skydive every three hours to say you did it. Your parachute doesn’t need to open to say that you jumped out of a plane. Same applies to nursing. Sometimes the ‘girls’ just don’t work, the milk is rejected or you choose a different path. The point is…I do hope that all mama’s out there try. I really do. Because breastfeeding does have benefits.
Here are some of those benefits as per the American Academy of Pediatrics…
- stomach viruses, lower respiratory illnesses, ear infections, and meningitis occur less often in breastfed babies and are less severe when they do happen
- children who are breastfed have a 20 percent lower risk of dying between the ages of 28 days and 1 year than children who weren’t breastfed
- your breast milk is specifically tailored to your baby
- studies have shown that breastfeeding can reduce a child’s risk of developing certain childhood cancers
- breastfeeding may also help children avoid a host of diseases that strike later in life, such as type 1 and type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and inflammatory bowel disease
- various researchers have found a connection between breastfeeding and cognitive development
- breastfeeding helps reduce your child’s risk of becoming overweight or obese
et cetera. et cetera. et cetera.
So all that info is well and good. But I am sure you didn’t come here to read all about that. Today I wanted to share my experience. I have nursed all three of my boys and here is what I have learned and hopefully it will help any new mommy’s out there that are planning on attempting to breastfeed their own little ones. That being said – if words like nipple, areola, clogged milk duct or the like freak you the heck out…you should have checked outta this post about fifteen seconds ago. Here’s your second warning. Time to go read Marthastewart.com.
First let’s talk the basics. First up….PAIN info….the first one hurts the most and the longest. Will nursed for a year and it hurt all the time. I blame his tongue. But with all my nursing girlfriends, that pain at the very beginning – the super sore nipples and that bloodcurdling pain when they latch – it will last about a month on average. The ‘transitional discomfort’ for the second one lasts half that. I still had soreness with Weston – even though his tongue was not tied. By the time I got over engorgement…it was another week till my girls weren’t barkin at me. With LJ, nothing. Engorgement happened and then nothing. No soreness. No desire to throw him through the window when he latched. It was pretty awesome.
When you are first learning, master one hold. When I was in the hospital, the lactation consultant and nurses constantly wanted me to try different holds. Cradle on this side. Now try football. Do it laying down. Hang upside down with your legs crossed. I say no. Find your most comfortable position…the one that you want to do in public and in private. The one that seems most applicable to your life. Now do that one…every.single.time. Get it down pat. Or up squeeze…whatever your position, do it till you nailed it. In another few weeks when that one is completely mastered…try another. Also…I gripped that head like it could fall off his body…not so hard that it would hurt him but firm enough that I had more control.
Roll one in. For me, I did the two hand hold with all my boys. One hand squeezing the boob and one behind the baby’s head…controlling it. I would hold the head in position and when he opened his mouth, I would drag the nip over the top lip and it would rest on the bottom gum forcing the jaw open. I was simultaneously moving my control hand to have the head in the right position…pulling his mouth as close to me as possible. I was using the weight of the breast to open the mouth a little more – this method allowed for the max amount of nipple to get in (more nipple = less pain). Remember to fix those lips if they aren’t flanged out…in other words, if the kid’s upper lip isn’t pushed up and the lower isn’t bent down, you might end up with soreness later.
Study up. After they latch, after the first sting of pain is a smidge less and it feels ok…look down and study where your hands are. Look how far the baby is latched on. Look at their lip position. Look at your posture. This method is great for people like me that are super analytical. I remember mentally marking on my boob exactly where my fingers should go so that next time, it would be easier. If you are comfortable…look at the angle of the head…look at the body…look at how supported you are….tweak little things ever so slightly till you are the most comfortable. Then take a mental note of that. This is now your new favorite position….try to achieve it a little faster next time. Eventually you will get there and there will be no pain (HOORAY!)
Use the force. Jedi mind tricks are your friend in this task. You are gonna be completely exhausted…breastfeeding seems like torture in the middle of the night…so trick yourself into doing it. Put your favorite treat out (I would have five skittles sitting out and every couple minutes…I got that treat. It would surprise you what a little taste of the rainbow will do for you). Tell yourself out loud that you are a super mom. Believe it. Stomp your foot three times. Bite on your burp cloth. Have a Vitamin Water out ready for you to rehydrate. Do little things to prepare yourself to get this wonderful job done.
Practice with the cover. Ok, I know that some folks out there are free spirits and just nurse openly in public with no cover. I was not ready for that with kid numero uno. I am not ashamed of my boobs or the fact that I am breastfeeding. But I also believe that there are some teenage boys, grown men and even some women that are just not comfortable seeing people nurse. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or end up exposed in the background of a selfie (a la Tori Spelling). So I cover up. You get to choose what is best for you…so if you are a let-it-all-hang-out or a nips-under-cover kinda girl, just remember to respect your fellow mamas. My best advice is if you choose to cover the udders, practice at home with your drape so that your baby doesn’t get distracted by it later or try to rip it off while in public.
Stop freaking out. That is a big one. I know girls that freak out over the littlest breastfeeding hiccups….literally and figuratively. If the baby doesn’t burp, burps too much, spits up, doesn’t spit up, cries when latching, doesn’t latch, seems fussy, etc. etc. etc., it doesn’t mean the breastfeeding world is collapsing around you. Whatever you do as a new mom….don’t freak out. Most (not all) things aren’t as vital as staying stress free when nursing. Stress can affect your supply. Stress can affect your let down. As a nursing mama, I had to realize that the best thing to do for Will was to relax my shoulders, relax my back, and focus on enjoying the moment…even through the pain. If I had an issue, I would write it down in a nursing journal…time, date and issue. Then I would see if over the course of several days, there was a pattern. If I needed to change something like diet or hold or whatever, I would change it. But once it went into the journal…it was a no-worry item. If I wanted to research it, it had to happen immediately after a nursing session so that I didn’t think about it during my baby-time.
Don’t be afraid to try nursing products. I know gals that used shields, gallons of Lanolin, pumps exclusively, special nursing pillows….the list goes on and on. These products were created by people because they worked for someone. That someone could be you too. In my situation, all I wanted was pain relief so I used Lanolin and Soothies. I would pop the Soothies in the fridge or freezer and they were great for my soreness in between feedings.
Speak up. Have a source of encouragement available to you. And tell them that you need them to build you up. As new mamas or new-again mamas, it is difficult to tell people what we need because sometimes we don’t know exactly what we need. But I do know one thing….we all need love. Tell your partner, your parents, your friends, your La Leche group, anybody that will listen, that you are breastfeeding and it is important to you. Tell them that you need to hear that you are doing a good job. that you are a good mom. that you are making good decisions. that you are making them proud. that you need a foot rub. Speaking up is hard for some people….but it can be the littlest thing that can make your day and propel you into longterm success (however you define that!).
Be a source yourself. I remember that running on a low tank is hard…but gratitude breeds gratitude. Even in pain, it is important to be thankful that you are getting the opportunity to try to nurse. Even in frustration, it is helpful to keep perspective of your gifts. The fact is…if you are holding a healthy baby…that is a freaking miracle. If you are getting to give that baby formula/breastmilk/comfort/healthcare….WHAT A BLESSING! Pour that into others. Infuse that perspective into the people around you….that you are thankful (whether you are nursing or pumping or formula-feeding) and that you are there for them! In fact, every three hours, you can sit down and talk to them….you’ll have a baby in your arms and it might be 3 am but you are available. Let that positive spirit flow like a leaky boob.
That’s what I got this AM. Good boob talk everyone. Now let me hear your best tips, stories, etc. And everyone….I’m pulling out my mom card here….everyone let’s be encouraging to others no matter their comment….our journeys are all different…arguing never changed anyone’s mind…like ever….so let’s be like a push up bra….build up!
I have 6 month old twins who are exclusively breastfed, but I exclusively pump. I just want to say thanks for mentioning that pumping is still breastfeeding. I wanted to nurse, it just didn’t work out for us. So I pump to keep them breastfed. I teared up a bit reading this, because it’s hard to feel supported as I breastfeed my babies in an unconventional way. So, thanks Katie. This tired mama needed your words of support today.
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for this post – I have a 2 week old, and, at least for me, nursing has been such a struggle. Not one of my friends prepared me for how difficult physically and emotionally trying to nurse a baby would be! After the first week of thinking/knowing I was starving my baby, we found out his frenulum was short and needed to be clipped. He tolerated the “clip” like a champ and is nursing like a pro (with a shield for now). Again, thank you for the words of encouragement!
Loved this post! As a new mamma to a five-week-old I wish I had had this post to read five weeks ago… We’re still struggling with getting this breastfeeding thing down, and amidst the postpartum hormones/tears and pain and frustration I’m at least getting encouragement from my hubby and those around me! Thanks for the post, Katie 🙂
This is super timely for me. My daughter will be six months old in two weeks, and I’ll have officially made it six months exclusively breast feeding. It was my goal, since supply issues cut short what I could do for my first kiddo (we made it about 10 weeks exclusive, another 6 or so supplementing, then nada). Right now I’m counting the days until I can start stressing less about it (I’m a work-outside-the-home mom, so I’m pumping more than I’m nursing, which, ugh). But I’m also super proud of myself for getting through the hard parts – the pain (I still have some pain due to pumping frequently, but it’s not as bad as those early days of nursing!), the frustration, the stress, the waking up three hundred times a night (still kind of doing that). It’s been worth it, and I’m super happy that I had a second chance at breastfeeding, and that I’ve done so well.
Also, sorry I turned a comment on your blog post into a bragging party for myself.
AND I forgot to mention- my babe was also tongue-tied, and getting her frenectomy was not intimidating at all due to your post on it!
What a wonderful supportive post! An unsolicited add on but that support? A great IBCLC or LLL leader can do wonders! Insurance will cover or reimburse for a IBCLC visit and it’s worth it’s weight in gold. Mine was so enormously empowering.
@Sara: Pumping is totally breastfeeding (as someone who nursed for almost 2 years and pumped for more than a year), you rock Mama!
It’s pretty impressive to have twins who are exclusively breastfeed in any form.
I’m a first time mom to a sweet 10 week old boy and you are so very right about that first month! My nipples had several blisters on them and I was so exhausted since he woke up every 2 hours on the dot and nursed for 20-25 minutes. I exclusively breast feed without pumping. It was hard and I was actually a little envious of formula feeding (or pumping) moms that could let someone else take over! I’ve also had a painful clogged milk pore (bleb) that would not go away! It’s finally clearing up a bit after about 8 weeks!
I’m now starting to enjoy nursing and am so glad I toughed it out! I love that time with him and it makes my heart soar when he looks up at me with his big blue eyes while nursing and gives me that big gummy smile!
Go mamas! I did it exclusively for thirteen months with my first, and am 16 weeks pregnant with number two. I’m terrified I won’t be able to nurse number two as long as number one…and I’m already gearing up for the guilt. But thanks for pointing out tht no matter how long it’s successful, any time at all is better than none.
You are awesome! This post is awesome! Mama’s need to support other mama’s no matter what direction they choose (pumping, bf’ing, formula)… we already put so much pressure on ourselves so judging others about their journey is just a waste of time. I love being able to help a new mom and be someone they can call at any hour of the day if they need a pick -me-up! Everyone deserves that kind of support. Growing a human is hard work and keeping them alive is even tougher 😉
Great tips! I’m still nursing my 18 month old and these all would have been perfect to hear when I first started out. I think one thing that would be helpful for new BFing moms is to be aware of things that can go ‘wrong’ (i.e. mastitis, thrush, etc) so you can spot the symptoms and get help when it first starts. Also, wear those pads until you get a feel for how your milk works… I had a couple awkward leaking incidents in the first month.
great post Katie! I am 8 mo in to breastfeeding my first. It is challenging, exhausting, confusing at times, but so so rewarding. And I want to encourage all the women reading who are pregnant or want to breastfeed in the future and are scared- for me, it never hurt. My nipples were a little sore in the beginning as they adjusted but I never experienced actual pain. So it is not a guarantee it will be painful. Everyone is different. Don’t be scared!
Such a great, encouraging post! I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding my little guy from the beginning and while it hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows (two aspirations, one needle core biopsy to check for breast cancer (benign!), one gigantic milk cyst which is still hanging out, sore nips, etc.) it has been so worth it. I think we find out how tough we really are as women and moms when we experience pregnancy, labor & delivery, and breastfeeding.
PS For nipple pain, Dr. Jack Newman’s All Purpose Nipple Ointment was a life saver for me. I’ve been known to tell strangers in Target about its magical nipple healing powers.
Another thing I wanted to mention was that I asked them in the hospital to check for a tongue tie and they said he was fine, but when I went to my chiropractor (she adjusts pregnant women and babies and runs the local la leche league meetings) she said he had a small tongue tie and a midwife that was helping another woman labor there clipped it for us for free! He cried for about 5 seconds, and then was perfectly fine!
So, if you’re still having a lot of pain while latching it might be a good idea to have someone give it a second look just in case!
I went into breastfeeding very concerned because I knew so many of my friends had problems or ended up giving up. While I was pregnant that was my focus, to be educated, know my resources and give myself the chance to make it work. I recommend calling an IBCLC while you’re pregnant and ask them a few questions to make sure they will be the right consultant to help you meet your goals (ie if you need to start pumping right away, or if you need a certain personality to help you). I found it really helpful to have one come to my house and see me in my home with my pillows and normal circumstances, rather than just the ones in the hospital.
I also can’t recommend this enough, look up The Boob Group either in podcasts on your iPhone or go to their website, http://www.theboobgroup.com. They have tons of shows on breastfeeding topics… latching, pumping, what to expect for each time period of the first year with your baby and feeding. I loved these podcasts and I felt like they were conversational and informative.
Thanks for looking out for moms! Seriously the best knowledge is from other moms!
I also breastfeed by exclusive pumping, and I agree – not a lot of support because we seem to be a rare group!! Keep it up mama..you’re doing awesome 🙂
I have almost two year old twin boys and I also pumped my brains out for them. You can do it! I know how hard it is to find time to pump and take care of twins but you CAN do it and it gets easier and easier. It’s sometimes hard to find people who truly understand your situation and I just wanted to let you know someone else understands and you are a rockstar!
Kudos to you for making it to 6 months, however the picture looks!! I tried with my twins, it was the hardest thing I ever did. They were so small and didn’t have the sucking reflex when my milk was flowing (fed them with syringes) then by the time they could, my exhaustion and stress was at it’s height and my milk dried up! I was devastated. But I tried, right!?
Twins! Still getting breast milk at 6 months is awesome. You go mama!
Sara –
I agree! My twins are now 5 yrs old and they were exclusively breastfed, but I exclusively pumped from 4 to 12 months. My pump and I had a love/hate relationship! I loved what it helped me provide for my girls, but using that baby every 3-4 hours for 8 solid months drove me crazy! It was the best option for us after I went back to work and they had difficulty latching, after having the bottles during the day.
Stick with it momma! You are doing great! Isn’t it amazing the amount of milk the body will produce in a mom of twins!?! It was quite comical to me 🙂
Having breast fed 3 children who were all over 9 and a half lbs to well over 1 year old I always felt that at 6 weeks I could gave done with some moral support. I seemed to get into a type of routine and then they seemed to have a growth spurt and I was feeding non stop again. It always settled down again but if there was ever a time when I might have given up it was then. There are breast feeding councillors available but I think that sometimes people get it in their heads that they can t do it or they have family members who didn t breast feed themselves encouraging them to use the bottle. Fundamentally I m pretty lazy and the thought of sorting bottles/ preparing bottles, having to actually get out of bed in the middle of the night didn t appeal.We are lucky in the UK in that we have health visitors who visit us very regularly at home when the baby is first born, checking that the baby is progressing and that you are managing everything OK but after a few weeks you then visit them at the Doctors surgery but I still think that a home visit at 6 weeks would be beneficial.
I have a 6 week old and we’ve been using the shield since day 1. Around week 2 people were making me feel horrible for using the shield, they kept saying it wasn’t natural, or I wasn’t doing it the right way, the way you’re supposed to breastfeed. After week 4 I realized that if my baby is getting the milk it doesn’t matter what way she’s getting it, if it’s with the shield, direct from the boob, a bottle, a cup, whatever. We are still using the shield and we try sometimes without it but I won’t let my baby and I get frustrated because she uses it. Maybe one day we will go without it completely but until then I don’t feel bad about using it.
I read this while nursing my four-week-old. We’re using a nipple shield due to flat/inverted nipples. I wish I could get him on without it, but it’s just not working for us. We also had to start supplementing because he wasn’t gaining weight. I cried the first time I gave him a bottle because I felt like a failure. Then I had to remind myself that our breastfeeding journey is just that – ours and a journey. No two mamas will have the same experience. It’s hard and I think about giving up daily. Each day is a victory.
Thank you for this post!
Katie,
I’m sure I’ve commented before, maybe even e-mailed, but I can’t possibly thank you enough for being such an encouragement regarding this topic (and really, everything else too). My little guy turns two this weekend and the pain, emotion, stress, and heartache of breastfeeding are as real to me as if I just went through it yesterday.
I gave birth, after a day of laboring, via c-section. Breastfeeding was important to me and something I knew I wanted to at least give my very best shot. To keep a long story semi-short, nursing was extremely painful. I was black and blue from gum ‘bites’, my nipples were so sore and raw and rashy (turns out I’m allergic to the wool in lanolin – which I was slathering on by the gallon-full) and I just hurt so bad I could barely stand to hold my baby. At first I thought it was the normal ‘pain and discomfort’ everyone had warned me about but I now understand, it wasn’t. I saw lactation consultants in the hospital and once I was home, I even made the hour-long trip to the lactation clinic a few times – just sure I’d be able to master it. It was there they noticed the tongue tie. We got that fixed but things still didn’t improve enough to be successful. (I now know – thanks in part to you sharing your story – that my son has a lip tie too). With his weight consistently dropping, we made the difficult decision to supplement with formula (via a cup) while I pumped breastmilk for him. The plan was always to make nursing work but it just never happened. Instead, I pumped exclusively for six months. I downright hated it and I hope and pray that if I’m ever blessed with a second baby, I’ll be able to nurse a little more naturally. Round one was definitely a learning experience… an unpleasant one to say the least but I feel so fortunate he was healthy and I was able to try nursing – and ultimately that I was able to provide breastmilk even if it wasn’t in the way I had envisioned.
Breastfeeding was such a stressor… I cried and cried and cried about it. The guilt I allowed myself to feel about every little part of it is crazy. Now though, I love that I can be a support to those around me. I can be the non-judgemental voice of comfort and reassurance… I can give that hug and the high five. That in itself is such a gift.
I am currently hooked up to a pump at work while reading this lol. Great info for anyone getting ready to breastfeed. This is my second bambino, but with the first I was in for a totally rude awakening not knowing half of this stuff. This time around has been a breeze, very very very happy I stuck it out the first time around
I think it’s unfair to request that people try…… Trying for some people isn’t an option. This type of ignorance is what is hurting new moms confidence everywhere!
Also, they tell you to switch up positions because your milk lets down from different ducts based on the position the baby is nursing. If you don’t switch positions you run the risk of clogged ducts.
My girls are 10 and 13 now, but I breastfed both of them for several months. I nearly gave up with the first one because it became so painful. Then my neighbor, a breastfeeding pro, gave me a tip that saved everything. She told me that after the baby latched on, to pull down on her chin just a bit to open her mouth a little wider. Worked like a charm and within a week, the soreness was gone and breastfeeding became a wonderful snuggle time that I cherished.
Love this! Wish I’d read it weeks ago! 🙂 My five week old is nursing as I read this. I’m relieved that breastfeeding has gotten easier as my baby and I have figured out how to make it work … and it’s great to know that it may be less painful for future babies.
As a new mom, I was really upset that we had to supplement him with formula because I didn’t have enough milk supply to sustain him yet and because he wasn’t nursing very efficiently. I felt like my body was betraying me. Going to the free breastfeeding group at my local hospital has boosted my confidence after seeing how much milk he actually gets in a feeding (via the weigh-in before and after eating). I would definitely recommend seeking that kind of support and/or enlisting the assistance of a lactation consultant for moms who are struggling. Thanks to that (and oatmeal, Fenugreek, and “lactation cookies”- the latter is my Skittles equivalent!), he no longer needs to be supplemented!
Thanks for sharing your experience!
I just stopped nursing my first and second born when I found out I was pregnant with #3. Yup, I tandem nursed. I nursed my first born through a second pregnancy until she was almost 4.5. My second is about to turn 2.5. I had so many problems nursing my daughter but nursing my son was the easiest thing in the world. I felt way more confident the second time around too. I can’t wait to nurse another little one in about 6 months!
Wow, there could not have been a better post at a better time! I am due with my second daughter in 1 week and plan to breastfeed. The first time around it was kind of a disaster. I lasted 2 months, nursing and pumping, and basically doing whatever I could to get at least some breast milk into my baby for as long as possible. For the first few weeks it felt like every time I fed her, I ended up crying for some reason or another. Despite the difficulty, I am fully committed to giving it a smarter, better try this time around. I think I have more realistic expectations and am trying to line up support and resources better, using experience as a guide. I also totally agree about not freaking out about every little thing! I’m going to use your journal idea. Thanks so much for your advice and honest info. I’m going to bookmark this page for those difficult moments!!
Tongue-tie’s can make nursing unbearable. Always remember to trust your gut… I knew something wasn’t right with my 2nd’s latch even before we left the hospital. All the nurses and LC’s said everything was fine. It wasn’t. After a month of calling hospital lactation consultants, ENT visits, and Pediatrician vists I found a LC in my area that specializes in ties. She was a God-send.
Good Tongue tie resources: http://www.kiddsteeth.com/articles/ttfactssheet.pdf http://www.drghaheri.com/
I used my nipple shield for months! I had flat nipples, and could not get nursing to work until a Lactation Consultant suggested a nipple shield. We finally transitioned off of it after about 10 weeks, and are still nursing (with formula supplementation) at 10 months! WHATEVER WORKS!
My advice is find support- your ped is not usually going to be that support. You need the LLL, an IBCLC, friends, family, the father… etc. If online sites and FB can fill that need than use them! Even mommas with 6 kids have the odd thing pop up with a new baby and they need help. 🙂 Don’t be afraid to ask. There are a lot of woman out there that would be willing to help you.
And one more thing – do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do it. If your body truly can’t – they had better be able to prove it because 99% of moms can – because that is what we were designed for 🙂
Definitely don’t feel bad about the shield, mamas! I had to use one with my firstborn for the entire time I nursed him…12 months of shield use! There were times it was inconvenient, or a couple times I forgot it while away from home (note: perhaps invest in a second one that stays in your diaper bag as backup…fussy, hungry baby is no fun!), but it was worth it! I now have a 3-week-old who is also currently using the shield, although I try every once in a while to go without. Maybe one of these days, or with future babies, I can go without for good, but until then, I’m just happy I can/could feed my babies & enjoy the bonding. 🙂 You’ll do great, I’m sure, even if you end up needing to use the shield the entire time! 😀
I used a shield with my little man from day 1 through 18 months! It can be so frustrating to have to depend on a piece of plastic to get a baby fed, but isn’t it amazing the lengths a momma will go to! My little man never took to nursing without the shield, but fingers crossed yours does. Either way, you can do it!
I love your attitude toward this and how evenly you encourage all moms, no matter what they choose for themselves and their babies. Bravo!
On that note, I also wanted to add that mothers who breastfeed for 1-2 years reduce their risk of breast cancer by 50%!
Bring on the latch!!!
Ugh I am jealous of you ladies! With my first, I was able to breastfeed her for 2 months. I just never produced enough. I would pump and pump and just make 1 ounce a day. I did all the food/drink/vitamins that were supposed to aid in milk production and nothing worked. I finally just had to give in to giving her formula because she was rapidly losing weight. I cried for weeks feeling like such a failure.
With my second, I breastfed for 18 months. Though not exclusively. He was supplemented with formula. Again I did not produce enough, but it was a bit more then the first time.
I am hoping with #3 that I can be a regular dairy like the rest of the women in my family!
Katie, as far as letting the girls free in public. I live in a town that is very “natural”, when we first moved up here my husband was so taken aback by all the tata’s everywhere lol I would never have let anyone see me uncovered with my first, with my second I was like eh what’s a little side boob?
Pumping is super hard work. I exclusively pumped for 2 months after my son was born, because he would instantly fall asleep when I’d try to nurse him. Finally I decided to give nursing another try, and he figured it out. He’s 13 months now, and I’ve still been pumping at work since I went back to work 10 months ago. There are days that I want to get rid of the pump because it’s so time consuming. I think what you’re doing for your babies is amazing, and it is DEFINITELY breastfeeding! Keep up the great work mama!!!
I have three kids and had three totally different breastfeeding experiences. Each of them were right for that baby and that time in my life. First baby I exclusively bf for several weeks and then introduced some formula so he was half bf and half formula for the first 6 months of life. Second baby never latched on well and I didn’t have the support at that time so I began exclusively pumping. I got mastitis 5 times in 4 months…the dr had never seen someone get mastitis so often. I almost gave up pumping at 2 months old because of all the infections but I (tearfully) made it to 6 months and then switch completely to formula. Third baby was an awesome nurser from the beginning. A couple of latch issues in the beginning but she made bf so easy that I exclusively bf for 18 months. She would have been happy to go longer but that was the limit of what I was comfortable with. She never took a bottle or drank formula. I did what I had to do for each baby given their needs and our family situation each time. Nobody should feel guilty for how they choose to feed their baby.
I used a shield until my daughter was 4 months old! It was more comfortable for both of us and made getting her latched SO easy. Don’t feel bad about it! Do whatever works for you!
Thank you for this post! I am 24 weeks pregnant with my first, and I have to say, I’m pretty terrified of breastfeeding because of all the horror stories out there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience – it makes it all seem a bit less scary!
As a mom who nursed four for varying lengths of time for a variety of reasons, just know… they are all teenagers, they are all healthy and you can’t tell who nursed for 2 weeks, 10 weeks, 9 months, or 11 months. You do what you need to do for you and your baby and it is good enough. Congrats to everyone who tries, and even if you don’t – you still deserve congrats just for being a mom.
I just loved this post. Breastfeeding is HARD, but it is really encouraging to think about what I am doing for my baby. I wish that more people were actually honest about how it feels as a mom instead of just spouting off the benefits. I know I felt a lot of anxiety and loneliness in the beginning there. Now we are 3 months in, and not that I feel like an expert, but I feel much better about our breastfeeding journey which has fluctuated from pumping exclusively since he was in the NICU to breasfeed exclusively to now both with me resurfacing in the working world. It is a journey and one that is never constant. I think there are always adjustments to be made as you and your kid grow together. But it is a pretty beautiful one! (once you get past the sore nipples and scratching hands of course)
Katie, I love that you frame it as encouraging everyone to try, but never insisting anyone continue on regardless. And I’d like to add that breast feeding AND using formula together is OK, too! I managed to breastfeed for two whole years because at about 6 months – despite some serious guilt and tears – I decided to start supplementing with formula. The stress relief was huge. Nursing became time for bonding, snuggling, and some immune boosting miracle gold breast milk to add to my baby’s nutrition without my milk supply always being shy of enough to keep him satisfied. I strongly encourage breastfeeding, but never at the expense of your well-being and sanity, which are hard enough to hold onto with a newborn!
I used a shield, given to me by a lactation consultant, for the first four months. Eventually, my little guy latched and there was zero transition time or struggle. I forgot the shield at home one day and he latched, no problem. That’s too bad that people are making you feel inadequate. Sounds like you’re doing a great job!
Thank you so much for this. I could write my own story here about why this is so helpful, but in about 2 months, I’ll be right back here, and I will keep all of these items in my back pocket as a reminder. THANK YOU KB. You are the best.
This is literally like reading my story (minus the csection, and tongue and lip tie). I feel you 100%. The pumping, the stress…all of it. I’m so hoping round 2 goes better!!
don’t ever feel bad about using that shield!! It is necessary sometimes! It was a lifesaver with my son – and I think I used it for 3 months before he was able to learn how to get a good latch on his own. I am using it with my 3 week old now and don’t feel an ounce of regret! It is so helpful!!
Katie,
Thanks for being such an encouraging mamma. Just wanted to give a high five to all of those mammas that tried, but may have had to switch to formula long before we wanted.
I tried with my first, but being totally uneducated & a new mom I failed before we even left the hospital. He lost 10% of his weight before we left the hospital (after c-section) so we had to start formula. My supply never recovered.
With my second (and last) who is now almost 5 months, I researched the heck outta Sir Google while I was pregnant, determined to make it work. We made it EBF (with a shield) longer this time, but at 4 weeks he was still not gaining weight & we needed to supplement. I tried not to give up, but I my body did not respond to the pump. I litterally only got drops each time. I work outside of the home & never was able to pump a full bottle before returning to work.
I was a mess the week I came to the realization that it wasn’t going to work again this time. Actually came to tears reading your post & these comments. I guess that wound is still raw. BUT, my jellybean is now healthy & happy.
You mammas still going at it are awesome. You mammas that now formula feed are equally awesome.
As a mom who desperately wanted to breastfeed, but was unable to produce the first time and barely produced the second time, I really appreciated the wording and sensitivity of your post. If I had a third, I’d probably try again even knowing I couldn’t produce enough to sustain without supplementing.
Thank you for writing such an encouraging post! I’m 26 weeks with my first tomorrow and just had the talk with my doctor today about signing up for ALL the classes, including breast feeding 🙂 I’ll definitely be bookmarking this post for some much needed encouragement at 3am in a few months. The world is such a negative and anxious place, I love coming to your blog for positivity and encouragement no matter what the subject is. Keep it up!
Great post! I breastfed my four boys until between 13 and 18 months old and am a huge advocate. Support and encouragement is HUGE.
Most all moms that breastfeed have to pump at some point and I will sing all my praises for Pumpin Pals http://www.amazon.com/Pumpin-Pal-Super-Shields-Complete/dp/B0085CBA90/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416855205&sr=8-1&keywords=pumpin%27+pal
These things saved my nursing career with my first. They work on all Medela pumps, not sure about others. Oh and I never wasted my time with nursing bras, just pull up your shirt and slip your strap down your arm. I have large boobs so finding a nice supportive nursing bra was impossible.
Great post Katie.. hope it helps some new mom or future mom out there 🙂
I nursed three kids and pumped to donate for the next two I had as a surrogate mom 🙂
Soooo, you had said you would be releasing your secret project this week and I came to your site with that in mind and read “Let’s talk about Boobs”. First thought: Katie’s getting a boob job?! That doesn’t seem like her… Hahaha, oh where the mind can take you!
Personally, I was only able to pump exclusively for one month. My son never once latched on. We tried everything including multiple lactation consultations. Those first few weeks after birth are such a daze and breastfeeding was one of the top stressors for me. I gave it up in hopes of relieving some of my stress. It was the right choice for me and my family. I look back and sometimes wish I would of pushed myself a little more. I pray that I will have the chance to try breastfeeding again one day… Thanks so much for sharing your life stories with us!
I am so proud of you! That is amazing and you are doing what you feel is best! I have a 3 month old and exclusively BF, but I have a new appreciation for mamas of twins ever since having my little guy! Keep it up!
I, too, read this while pumping at work as I read most of your posts during my milk harvesting breaks :).
And like many of the moms here, I struggled with breastfeeding with my first babe. In my mind, I thought I was doing a good job until we went to the pediatrician for one of our early visits (2 or 3 weeks) and my babe had lost weight. Of course, I felt like I’d failed my baby but I looked past the hurt and called my lactation consultant and she guided me on what to do to “teach” my babe how much he should be eating. And not to mention it hurt like a hades! After many tears of frustration, I cried tears of joy when we got it together and breastfed him for a year. The support from the LC and mostly my husband got us through and now I’m two weeks out from finishing breastfeeding/pumping for my second child (who will be a year).
I really appreciate the struggle as it helped me understand how precious this gift is to provide for my babies.
Yes you did!
Thanks for acknowledging that if you even tried, you were a success! Baby and I made it to two weeks. He was tongue tied, so we did a frenectomy, but I don’t think they did it correctly, cause his little tongue was/is still dimpled in front. I was dealing with a lovely concoction of drugs, after preeclampsia and c-section, my supply was rapidly decreasing (I pumped or breastfed every two hours, and saw my pumping sessions go from 2-3 oz in the early days down to just drops), we both cried through every breastfeeding session… anyway, I eventually realized that at that point the only reason I was still breastfeeding was so I could not be a failure. Which, my pride was not worth letting my tiny baby waste away. At birth, he was 8 lbs 6 oz. At week two, 7 lbs 2 oz. So, we called it. Formula has been a huge blessing for us! But, it’s nice to be able to think that I DID breastfeed. I DID IT! Not well, or long, or anything else, but I did breastfeed my baby.
I should add, at 5 months old today, baby boy is thriving and happy and has roly-poly thighs, and it is beautiful! What a blessing to be able to feed our babies!
Katie, Thanks for this post! I am 30 weeks with our first and have always planned to breastfeed. A few people in our families have been really discouraging – telling me I physically won’t be able to or how inconvenient it will be. It can be really disheartening to not have the support of other women in my family.
My goal is 6 months exclusive breastfeeding (also pumping when working) and then to continue with breast milk bottles and feeds until at least the first birthday. I know formula isn’t bad, but I feel like my body is made to do this and want to experience the bonding of breastfeeding. It’s so beautiful! Thankfully, my husband is very supportive and my midwives are both lactation consultants so I should have the encouragement to meet my goals. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers!
Too funny. I was also reading through this will hooked up to a breast pump at work! The sacrifices our little ones will never understand 🙂
I pumped exclusively, too. It’s so so hard. But so worth it, You’re doing a great job! Strong work, mama!! Wahooooo!!
Great post Katie, thank you! I have a 2 (3 in March) yr old and a 6m old. I also have insufficient glandular tissue. Breastfeeding is the main reason I am hesitant to have a 3rd. I just don’t know if I can go through it again. I can’t exclusively breastfeed and I wish I could come to terms with it but I can’t. I know I should be thankful that I am blessed with 2 healthy children, and I am, but breastfeeding has consumed me- I cannot get over the guilt. This post is a great resource for new momma’s to set themselves up for success!
Thank you so much for this post, Katie! I tried breastfeeding, and it didn’t work out so I exclusively pumped until my son was 8 months along with formula supplementation. I wish I would have read this post before I had my son; I think I would have been alot easier on myself and spoken up and reached out for help when I thought something was wrong with his latch. I rarely comment, but wanted to say that I think you’re doing an amazing job as a mom and I really enjoy your posts. I get your sense of humor and, in a way, I think of you as a friend….not a creepy friend, just one of those moms you admire from a distance at the park, but don’t work up the courage to say ‘hi’ to.
Wonderful post! Not only is it great information and advice, but it’s awesome to hear women supporting women. I too am a breastfeeding mum for my 3 month old baby. Not only is it the best thing for baby, but it has so many benefits to the mom as well! Our chances of breast cancer are incredibly reduced after breastfeeding. If it’s in the cards for a new mom, it’s all around the best thing possible. I want to cry when I hear people (especially other women) say that breastfeeding is gross! It’s the most natural thing possible.
What a great post! It’s so interesting reading through the comments and seeing everyone’s very different (and sometimes very similar) stories! I really thought for sure I would not be good at breastfeeding. After her birth not going how I planned (haha), I just knew all the horror stories I’d been told would be true for me. The truth is, breastfeeding sucked (no pun intended) for nearly 2 months. My baby girl was tongue-tied and the pediatrician at the hospital told me I just needed to toughen up. It wasn’t until two lactation consultants and a nurse worked together to get the other in-house pediatrician (who was friends with my father-in-law) to perform the frenectomy that I realized that other pediatrician might be wrong. It was worlds better after her tongue was clipped (when she was 2 days old), but still very very hard. I was sure I was doing it wrong, my nipples were purple and bleeding (and had to heal after nursig her tongue-tied), and she’s a little bit, so I just knew she wasn’t getting anything. But she was! And at about 8 weeks, we hit out stride and have been going strong ever since. She’ll be 10 months next week and I have no doubt I’ll make it until her birthday. It really really does get better. I can hardly remember how difficult it was and now I think I’ll actually miss it when she decides she’s done. Never thought I’d say that!
I used the shield for 8 months for my boy and he randomly was able to nurse without it one day. Bottom line, you are feeding and providing for your baby, and you are a super mom! Everyone has to do whatever works because there is no normal when it comes to breastfeeding.
Thanks for this! Almost 8 months into breastfeeding my first. 🙂 A coworker’s daughter is due with her first soon and wants to breastfeed. I told her the beginning is harder than you think. Like I wanted to quit every single day, every single feeding (almost) kind of hard. And then one day you realize – it’s not hard anymore. And you’re not really sure when the turning point was, but now you’re just… doing it. 🙂 Remembering the advice “Never quit on your hardest day” helped me through. Because they all feel like the hardest day at first!
I breastfed my first for 15 months and had to use a nipple shield the entire time. It was worth it to me to use it, even though people tell you not to use them. I had mastitis 4 times in the first 5 months but I’m sitting here nursing my second and it is so much easier this time. My advice to new mamas is to do whatever works for you!
I’m not mad about the “as long as you TRY” comment but I didn’t try and I’m good with that. I have three older sisters with 7 kids among them, and I have a breast deformity. My sisters all said, “Spare yourself the misery and don’t even try.” So I didn’t and honestly all I’ve read about it I’m just fine with that. My kid is a teen now and is perfect– healthy, brilliant, gorgeous, well-adjusted. I wouldn’t change a thing.
So my feeling is “to each his own”. There are no absolutes in parenthood.
I breastfead my little girl for the first eighteen months of her life and I consider it such a blessing. A painful and time consuming blessing but a blessing. One of the things I like to tell moms to be is that if you reach a point in the middle of the night and you can’t make it anymore… you’ve basically lost your sanity, then it’s ok to give your baby a little bit of formula. I did this for two nights the first two weeks we were home. It was about an ounce each time and only after I had fed her for over an hour but it gave me the stamina to keep going for EIGHTEEN months.! Thanks so much for sharing about your experience. 🙂
I exclusively breastfed my daughter for 19 months, until one night and that was it for her. A huge sacrifice? Of course, but what part of parenting isn’t, right? I recently bought a can of formula for a family we’re adopting for Christmas and I thought dang, I can’t believe some mothers would rather pay for this stuff instead of the premium stuff for free, if they’re able to produce of course.
There are moments of great relief when you’re done nursing. But there are more when I desperately miss the down time, the alone time, the bonding time. I know there are other ways to achieve all, but not like nursing.
Like the day society suddenly decided to judge nursing mothers for the “correct” time when you’re supposed to wean, I hope we’re making progress toward dispelling any age limits and accepting these mothers as making a huge sacrifice to sustain the life they created. Until we all remember that breasts were actually intended to feed infants and not as toys for foreplay, nursing mothers have an uphill battle.
Great Post Katie.
AS a mom of a 17 month old and one kiddo on her way, I am really curious how you handled nursing while having other boys in the house. Mind sharing your secrets? Hope your cruise was awesome.
Such a good post, Katie!
Since I have no kids yet I haven’t had the opportunity to try yet, but hopefully I will one day. I enjoy reading a lot of mommy blogs or watching mommy youtubers and strolling through the comment sections everywhere can dry someone crazy. So I have to salute you for this post and I wish that every mommy – no – every woman should read your last few sentences, because sometimes we forget that we’re all in this together.
Thanks Katie, you are one heck of a mommy!
Just wanted to give you some hope with the shield- my baby was premature and wouldn’t latch. While we were still in hospital the midwives would come and force her onto my breast to the point where my baby just screamed because she was hungry but not being fed. This went on until she was FOUR days old- in that time having had only a tablespoon of formula plus what I was expressing every 3 hours (maybe a teaspoon of colostrum each time). Eventually one kind midwife sent my husband out to buy some nipple shields (the hospital here in Australia was not allowed to provide them or even suggest we try them!!) and instantly- latched. When her shift ended and another midwife started, i was told over and over not to use the shield as it would ‘decrease’ my supply and the baby would never learn to latch. Once we got out of hospital, every single health visit focussed on ‘weaning the shield’. I kept using it as my baby Could. Not. Eat without it and was starving (she lost far too much weight in the first six weeks due to this insistence that I feed without the shield, and the attempts to do so exhausted her so that when I eventually ‘gave in’ to feed her with the shield, she was too tired to eat).
I eventually stopped caring what the child health nurse/family/friends/rude-strangers-in-cafes said. The shield helped my baby eat. We continued to use it for six months when suddenly she decided she could latch without it. We are now down to 5 minute feeds (at 10 months old) and still breastfeeding.
So….. very long story short… If it works and your baby is gaining weight and thriving and meeting milestones and is happy…. do whatever works!!
Just weaned my 4th (and last) baby a month ago. Bittersweet. At times it can be so challenging, but I am so thankful I was able to do what I felt was best for my babies. Whatever your situation, remember to be kind to yourself. A happy mom is the best thing for her babies.
Great post! I’m breastfeeding my daughter now as I type. The thing that’s helped me is the boppy pillow. She lays across it so I don’t need to support her. One hand holds the boob and the other can hold a phone or remote. My little one is a slow eater…takes about an hour. At first I read that I should hold her and bond the whole time. Puhlease!
Oh how great this information is! Nobody tells you about the pain and agony that can come along with breastfeeding. Most of what you read is just about the benefits.
I exclusively breastfed my first baby girl for 9 1/2 months but had to stop due to the doctors putting me on a steroid for an allergic reaction I was having. I had enough frozen in my stock pile to get her through 12 months. She had to be fed every 3 hours because she was very small (14# 11 oz when she turned 1) so I was happy I had enough for her first year of life.
I am now feeding baby girl #2 and loving every minute of it. As with the first, the first few weeks are the hardest…the pain and tears, however, are so worth it. I’m so glad I stuck with it. I treasure every second.
Don’t let anyone give you crap for using a shield! If it’s what your baby needs to eat, then it’s what’s best. My little guy used a shield for the first three months before being able to nurse without it. Our lactation consultant told me to use it as long as he needed and that he’d let me know when he was ready to nurse without it. He gave it up over a period of a week and at seventeen months he’s still nursing morning and night without it. You can do it! Keep up the good work!
Amen to the lactation consultant. They saved us!
Will doesn’t really notice the female form yet (well, one time he asked me where my peepee went and then I told him I have a girl peepee and he said “that’s ok mommy. When I get bigger I will buy you a new one.” But besides that nada) and we explained that everyone has nipples and mine have mommys milk for the baby. Basically I openly nurse.
is that the question?
xo kb
Such an encouraging post, thank you for writing it. No one should feel guilty for not nursing or not nursing “long enough.” Everyone’s journey is unique.
My first child was nursed 4 months until my supplied dried up after I returned to work (pumping didn’t help). It was hard switching to formula but I knew my baby was well cared for. 12 years later I nursed my 2nd and last baby for an amazing 18 months. I developed blebs and clogged ducts from month 6 thru month 10. It was horrible and even my doctor and lactation consultant couldn’t really help. Everyone said quit because it’s hard…then later they said quit because babies over 12 months don’t need it. I hung in there and I’m so thankful since this is my last baby. I cherish the memories of those times. Women need to be encouraged. Thanks for the reminder.
You cannot get over the guilt? Girl…you are amazing for doing all you can! That’s what us mamas are called to do….all we can!
xo
Hah! I openly nurse at home, too, and my 2 1/2 year old daughter has been known to lift her shirt and lay down on her 4 month old baby brother “I feeding him, Mama!” I laughed so hard I nearly cried.
well done Katie…….not just for feeding your adorable babies but for supporting all the other Mommies……..very kind and sweet…………we are all just doing our very best and it can be hard………….so way to represent
I SO needed this post today! I’m breastfeeding my first, 8 weeks old! It’s an amazing experience and I love it, but man, those 3 am feedings Wear. You. Down. Thanks for the encouragement, Katie!
LJ’s tongue tie was clipped at one day old and he still has a dimple…I did a little research and if the tie is extensive then it can be part of the development stage of the tongue and last even after clipping and even if it can fully extend. I just don’t want you to think your sweet baby didn’t have a good clip. And also – I think that you are awesome for doing what you felt was best and your baby is thriving!
xo – kb
HAHA! Secret boob job 🙂 To be perfectly honest…my secret project is a tummy tuck. Just kidding. Unless someone wants to give me a free one 🙂
xo – kb
Like so many others here, my breastfeeding journey started out really really really rough, but here I am at almost 7 months and going stronger than ever! I can’t stress enough how vital hiring a lactation consultant was for us (and it turned out insurance covered it). I have said many times that she literally saved us, and I would recommend hiring one in a heartbeat. My daughter was a few days old when our lactation consultant came over from 11 pm-1 am to help us because when I had described the situation earlier to her, she was that concerned. I had cracked, open sore nipples, low milk supply, my daughter’s sucking reflex was weak, she had very few wet diapers, and wasn’t gaining her weight back. I was hysterically crying all the time when nursing, and my husband would literally have to hold my feet down. First thing the lactation consultant did was recommend a nipple shield, which we used for almost 4 months. She told me over and over that there was absolutely nothing wrong with using it, except that it possibly made each nursing session longer because the milk didn’t flow as quickly. We eventually had my daughter checked for a tongue-tie, had the procedure done, and voila! – I was able to stop using the shield after months. It was like a miracle to have her directly on my nipple with no pain at all! (If you are using a shield, have an extra one at home just in case!)
I also want to mention something that Katie didn’t bring up, as I’m sure I’m not the only one who struggled with this: Part of the excruciating pain when we first started breastfeeding was that I had a third degree tear plus an episiotomy. There was literally no position I could be in without awful awful pain in between my legs! So to all you mew mamas out there who are healing at a snail’s pace, oooooooh I want to give you a hug, and I promise promise promise the pain will start to go away, and one day you’ll be able to sit up like a normal person and nurse your baby! And when the doctors tell you that doing a sitz bath will help the healing, listen to them!
Also, forget the Boppy and buy the My Breast Friend pillow. SO much better.
Love this post, Katie. I am currently getting ready to wean my fifth child. I’ve been blessed to have nursed all five of my children. They have each been different, some better nursers than others. For the first two weeks, I’m usually curling my toes and biting my lips while the occasional tear is slipping down my cheeks. Then I usually reach a turning point as my new babe finally masters the art of nursing and I breath a sigh of relief as I fall in love with nursing a precious little one all over again. I treasure these moments and memories of motherhood. <3
I second that: “my brestfriend pillow” was the best for me. Loved that I could snap it around my waist and when necessary walk around while nursing to help (or chase) my 3 and 5 year olds. The boppy never gave me the same support in seated position.
I breastfed my baby for about the first month. We had a rough road to start with he did not want to suck and had a slight tongue tie. I then went back to work around a month old. In hindsight that was way too early and I quit my full time job to go part time instead when he was around six months old. When I went back to work I became an exclusive pumper. At first this worked better in ways since my son was such a grazer, but then later my nipples would bleed from the breastpump. I tried other pumps still with no luck and I had to switch to formula when he was nine months old. I am happy that I was able to give him breast milk for that long but there are things I wish I had done differently. I wish I had continued to breastfeed of the evenings when I went back to work and not went exclusive to the pump. I wish I had taken more time and not had company at my home within the few first weeks so that he and I could have got a better hang of breastfeeding. All thoughts I am going to keep in mind if we have another child. Thanks for sharing your story.
Great post! I tried breastfeeding for about a month and my son and I were both so miserable that I decided to exclusively pump. I had to pump when returning to work, so I figured why not? So basically my son got breast milk for 11 months and I’m extremely proud of that. I often feel super jealous reading stories about women who had successful breastfeeding relationships with their kids, but this post didn’t make me feel that way. So kudos! I do hope with my second that I get the help I need. I think I was embarrassed to ask for help once we were home from the hospital and was worried about everything and quit too soon. I think my son had a tongue tie but I never got it looked at because I didn’t know. Anyway yay for milk! PS my boob still leaks sometimes and I’ve been done since April. When does that stop?! Ha!
Your story is similar to mine. I pumped and supplemented with formula for 10 months before I couldn’t take pumping anymore. I had multiple issues between my flat/inverted nipples, no success with a shield, low supply, and my son was tongue tied. I went 5 weeks of nursing/pumping/formula feeding before I stopped trying to nurse. Sometimes I wish I would have stuck with it, but for my sanity I had to stop. Now when I look back on it all I realize I just needed to feed my son in whatever way that was. I hope to have more success nursing when I have another baby but I know that formula is a great option too. Thank you Katie for this post and the conversation that has come with it! Fellow mom’s need to hear each other’s stories to see that they are not alone. No one really talks about the struggles of breastfeeding so thanks for opening the door!
Great post!! I think another 2 bits of advice I can give are:
1. Get in touch with your local La Leche League. Even if you just lurk on the local Facebook page, you’ll get a lot of support and questions answered.
2. Don’t feel bad if you occasionally resent breastfeeding. It can be all consuming and tedious, especially if you Little One is a slow eater. It’s ok to resent it and to feel all ‘touched out’. Take a break, take a breath, and carry on.
I m sure they ‘d be ‘interested ‘ for a minute or so and then just accept it. I used to breast feed everywhere and on the whole nobody knew or at least couldn’ t see anything. The pashmina was my friend. My hi light was rescuing my 2 yr old off a climbing frame in the local park whilst continuing to breast feed my daughter
Thank you for writing this post I needed t today. I have a 7 month old who I’ve exclusively breastfed and she’s been a champ. She did so well in the hospital my milk came in when she was 2 days old.
Now im having a hard time keeping up with her needs . I count every drop and just about cry if any is spilled. It’s hard to keep pumping and working so hard to provide enough milk. Encouraging posts like these help me keep on keepin on even if it feels like the pump should just be permanently attached sometimes.
Thank you for this post and the wonderful advice. I feel as though many women out there don’t have all the facts when choosing to breastfeed or not. While I have been able to nurse my children successfully it wasn’t easy or painless but I knew it was what I wanted to do. I remember thinking, keep trying, keep trying, don’t give up, never give up…
YES! YES! YES! Especially to practicing with your cover! I received that advice from a friend and it eased my anxiety so much about nursing in public. My second baby (now six months) really HATED the cover though and I could never get her to latch underneath it, therefore I nurse without a cover in public (something I NEVER thought I’d do), but my boobs aren’t very big so her head covers any nip slips 😉 I was in so much pain with my first baby that I gave up after two weeks, but the second time around I was determined to push through! I was still having sooooo much pain on my left side at the five-week mark that my lactation nurse told me to just continue feeding on the right side. Once I did, my life changed! I felt so much better, wasn’t in pain anymore, and felt like a normal person again! You just gotta do what works for you! 😉 My biggest advice would be to TALK! TALK! TALK! to other moms about their experiences so you don’t feel alone. I felt so alone the first time because I was the first of my friends to have a baby and I didn’t know there were support groups like La Leche League. But the second time around I reached out to everyone I felt comfortable with, and they cheered me on and offered a lot of great support! Thanks for sharing your story, too!
I liked this post, all the moms are doing the best they can for their kids! I’m still nursing my almost 15 month old son, and one extra piece of advice; invest in a good nursing bra. Try different ones and find the one that is the most comfortable. If you plan on nursing for a long time, than it makes sense to invest in a good and pretty nursing bra, because sometimes you just want to feel like a woman again, and wearing nice underwear helps! (at least, for me it does, and I think the hubby agrees 😉 )
This post is all in God’s perfect timing! I literally had my second daughter on Saturday and am dealing with engorgement overnight because of my milk coming in. I breastfed my oldest daughter for 13 months, so I know this is just a speed bump for us to get over, but it is so comforting to read your post and all the encouraging comments from other moms who’ve been in the trenches!
That’s great advice! There was a time that it just got a lot better!
I nursed both my kiddos for 14 months. I went back to work when they were both 8 weeks old, so that required mastering the pump. I also traveled with my job, which taught me that, in order to keep your supply up as a working mom, you have to have a plan. I had 2 pumps – one for work and home. When you travel, you need to plan ahead and order a fridge for your room if it doesn’t have one so you can freeze your supply. When you do take pumped milk through security, they test each bottle (they don’t touch the milk but do open the bottles), so you have to be prepared for that (which is why I would freeze it). Your plan for how to make it work really consumes your day, but you sort of become machine-like after awhile. I knew the benefits outweighed the trouble and am blessed with two healthy kiddos. Also, I did try to nurse in private because as your infant gets older, they get way too distracted by their surroundings. I knew all the stores at the mall with mom’s rooms. I preferred the cover because my kiddo would know it was time to get down to business, so nursing on an airplane as an example wasn’t a problem (though I tried to sit window seat near the back of the plane where the flight attendants were in case I needed help). I could go on and on with tips, but it helps to share and learn from others!
I’m a working mom so I have mostly pumping tips.
1. Keep emptying your breasts as often as possible especially in the beginning. Nurse the baby until he’s full up, then pump, repeat. You will be able to stockpile milk for your return to work and you’ll have a strong supply so you are not living pump to pump for the baby to eat.
2. Get or make a pumping bra. OMG you need hands free in this area of your life!
3. Even if you have to do only a 5 min pump because a meeting or client got in the way of your pump time do it! Your supply depends on regular demand. But as often as possible pump for a full 20 minutes.
4. Pump into the bottle whenever possible. You will lose precious milk with each transfer.
5. Skip the pumping cover and get yourself a big sweater with NO zipper. It gets cold and you’ll want to be cozy for the best pumping experience.
Gosh I have a bunch more bug I’ll stop here. 🙂
Breastfeeding is wonderful for your child, no doubt about it. But for those of us who simply can’t, I think it’s important not to villianize formula. My son was fed formula and is a bright, healthy, happy two-year who is rarely sick, and has zero allergies.
This is a great article!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/why-i-dont-breastfeed-if-you-must-know/2014/10/13/74c5fd3e-459a-11e4-9a15-137aa0153527_story.html
Bravo to you ladies who stuck it out, though! It’s definitely not easy!
Just want to share a tip learned the hard way. Those ‘shields’ (the rubber shields to protect your nipple/help babies latch on) may not allow your breast to be stimulated enough to continue producing enough milk. So it is necessary to also pump after feeding your baby to keep up your milk supply. We were sent home using a nipple shield after our first. She had been a preemie and the thought was it would help her latch better. I was told to pump after feeding her, but not WHY to pump. So several weeks later, after round the clock feeding/pumping sessions and a freezer full of milk (literally bottles of frozen breast milk would hit you in the head when you opened it), I called our doctor and asked, for the love of Pete, can I stop pumping? She said yes. However, did not say stop using the nipple shield. This led to a quick reduction in milk supply and a ‘failure to thrive’ baby who ended up being bottle fed because I was never able to get my milk built up again (good thing we had some frozen, but still it was sad for us). So, shield users, beware! 🙂 ~Amber, mom of 4
Cassie, I was in a very similar situation. At about 8 months I couldn’t keep up and any long meeting at work that delayed my pump sessions was torture, physically and emotionally. Some milk leaked in the fridge one day and I debated trying to wipe it up and wring it out so my daughter would have enough! That’s when I knew I was making myself crazy! And then I realized, that EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding didn’t have to be my goal and I started mixing her bottles 80-90% breastmilk and 10-20% formula, based on what I could pump while maintaining my sanity. The mom guilt kicked in at first, but before long I was able to rebuild a freezer supply, and the whole thing just felt like a lot less pressure. It made everything easier and the immune benefits and bonding time was still there. I always read things about formula babies OR breastmilk babies, but for some reason (I blame hormones) it took me two months of frantically praying for every ounce to realize a baby could get both and thrive.
I love this. I really feel like as mothers we need to talk to one another without shamming someone for doing what is best for them and their family. Support other mamas. It’s hard enough just being a mom!
With that said I breastfed my first child for 18 months. The first 12 were the hardest months of my life. She could not handle my milk flow so I would have to pump before each feeding until the letdown subsided and then she could nurse. We figured this out after weeks of gagging, progectile vomiting, screaming at every feeding, changing my diet and gradually adding back food she could tolerate. I would give her a bottle at night (of breast milk) just to make sure she actually kept milk down. I almost gave up…so glad I read info and pushed through the agony. After 12 months she became a champ and all of a sudden it was enjoyable and easy. I loved those last months and all of a sudden one day she was done. That was it.
With our second (almost 6 years after our first child) I was a little nervous that the crazyness would happen all over again. That it would be a struggle. He was awesome! Latched and could handle my crazy flow and letdown. Thank goodness. I still give him a bottle of breast milk at night as this allows my hubby and daughter to feed him as well as date nights are easier. It’s amazing how it can be sooooo different each time.
With my daughter I did have crazy cracked and bleeding nipples. The lanolin products destroyed my nipples. My sister in law gave me a product to try and it was a godsend. It’s called “natural nipple butter”. From earth mamma angle baby. Saved my nipples and only thing I used the second time around. I also encourage moms who’s milk seems to be drying up. Look into food and herbs to help. I drink “mothers milk” whenever I see a decline in my milk. It helps! As well as almonds and carrots and oatmeal. It’s amazing how our bodies work and how they were designed. I’m so glad I stuck with it. But I will never be hard on mothers that have made other decisions for their families. You really have to do what’s best for you and your own families!!
Just a reassurance for the moms who are unable to breastfeed for one reason or another (like myself): Formula is NOT the devil. My son was mostly formula fed and he is now seven, gifted (a genius really), has no allergies, and is never sick. My daughter is almost three and is also very smart, has no allergies, and is never sick. Back when they were babies I was so hard on myself and my body’s failure to nourish my children. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone else. If you can’t breastfeed, you can’t breastfeed, it’s not the end of the world. Really.
Great post! It was so tough to nurse with baby #1 but I had such a great group of people supporting me. I always tell moms to be to have a list of “life lines” for those first few weeks. Those life lines got me past the pain and anxiety (I was so convinced she was starving when she gained almost two pounds in six days).
This post and the comments are bringing tears to my eyes! It’s SO special to breastfeed your baby, and reading other mommy’s take on it makes me so happy and proud that I decided to do it too! It IS hard. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to about it when I had my first baby boy in April, but we struggled through and figured out what worked best for us! I mainly pumped, except for evening and nighttime feedings since he was about 2.5 weeks old. Still pumping, just no nursing, those teeth are simply too daunting… he doesn’t seem to mind or notice that we aren’t nursing anymore so i don’t feel awful but I DO miss it! Yey for all mommies out there no matter what feeding choice you made!! 🙂
18 mos in with #3. Never had tears or pain like many but the mind altering exhaustion in the early months was hard for all 3. Nursing after a year seems so eye-stabbingly ridiculous when you’re in the early hard months but I just wanted to point out for any newer moms reading this that the feedings after 6 mos are much further apart, you’re sleeping decently (hopefully) and after a year nursing is pretty much cake because the learning curve is long gone and you’re down to your record low nursing sessions per day. Kellymom.com was always my #1 go-to resource in those 3am freak-out moments. Everything you ever questioned about nursing can be found there. Even our #2’s crazy oversupply diaper rash from hell mystery was solved there. Amazing resource.
Pumped 3x a day in my office from 6 weeks to around 22 months. Crying over spilled milk at my desk? Many, MANY times! I don’t regret it, though. So glad I pushed through. You can do it! Just remember to consume enough calories, (oatmeal for breakfast helps a lot), and stay well hydrated. Pumping after the first morning feeding always helped, too. Best of luck! 🙂
I just bought 3 really pretty Cupcake nursing bras and the matching underwear! They are amazing! Comfortable, and good support! Plus it makes me feel pretty even if my husband and I are the only ones that see them!
Great post! I was extremely fortunate to breastfeed my daughter for a really long time. But I am saddened by the guilt that some mom’s feel when it doesn’t work out for them, and they have to use formula. We judge ourselves so harshly, and sometimes it’s out of our control. Likewise, my in-laws were not supportive of long term breastfeeding, and I ended up feeling defensive about my choice to let my daughter decide when she was ready to wean. Parenting can be such an emotional process. My experience has taught me to be supportive of all parents that are just trying to navigate the waters the best way they know how.
I love your blog and in general I never comment on blogs unless I have something positive to say. This isn’t intended to be negative or mean spirited, but I wanted to let you know that this post was hard for some of your readers (like me) to see. I purposefully steer clear of “mommy blogs” because I’ve been dealing with infertility for 2+ years. Home design/decor blogs are a bit of an escape for me and when the picture of you breast feeding showed up in my feed, it was a stab in the heart. I know your blog incorporates your family life and the content is up to you, but in case you might not have thought of it, I wanted to let you know that this kind of content could upset some of your readers.
Thank you, Katie, for your informative, encouraging, and, as always, entertaining post. I especially appreciated your section about maintaining perspective and being thankful… so applicable to all areas of life. I’m a first time mom, due in May! Eeeeek! I’m saving this post now, and I’m sure I’ll be revisiting it before our little one comes along.
Did you (or any other mothers on this thread) read any breastfeeding books that you found helpful before and/or during your first time breastfeeding?
I had the same problem when my son got to be around 9 months. I was so stressed about not pumping enough and finally ran out of my freezer stash around eleven months and he started getting formula to make up the difference. Now I look back on it and wish I could have told myself to relax. Formula is perfectly fine and your mental health is more important than exclusive breast feeding. That said, the phrase “Crying over spilt milk” means so much more than it did before I had my son.
Absolutely agree!!!!
I think one of the main things about feeding your baby is the close contact you have with them. My only problem with bottle feeding is the number of young mothers I see pushing prams around town with a bottle propped up for the baby to feed alone . None of that close contact which you have to have when breast feeding .I think what your mother did is also a big factor
I didn’t. I found websites to be way more useful and available because they were from a variety of different lifestyles/experiences/parenting methods!
xo – kb
I do realize that and I am so sorry that you are dealing with that wait! I have so many friends that deal with infertility and I do try to be sensitive to everyone. I want you to know that I do try very hard to diversify the content of the blog and that one day, I hope you can come back to this post when you have a little one in your arms and it won’t be painful. Until then…I’ll pray hard that you get that babe soon!
xo – kb
Great post, Katie! I nursed my daughter for 15 months & stopped because I was in the second trimester of my next pregnancy. Then, I nursed my son for 20 months. I was a labor & delivery nurse, semi-trained in lactation, and I was always taught that if it hurts, you’re doing something wrong- not so!! Oh man, I experienced so much pain with my first, and a significant amount with my second. It’s so good to inform women that pain can be normal. Even as a nurse teaching others how to breast feed, I didn’t know that! Lactation consultants can be a great resource, too- they were very encouraging to me in the beginning when I had no idea what I was doing!
I could not agree more! Whenever the lactation consultant said to me that the latch was good and form was good and I shouldn’t have pain…I wanted to hit her right in the boob. I think it’s a healthy thing to say that it may hurt…not always…but sometimes…and that we do our best because it usually doesn’t last forever!
xo – kb
I don’t comment often, but I wanted to speak up on this one. I would be TERRIFIED of breast feeding if I was a new mom reading this post because of your constant references to the PAIN involved. I have two girls, breastfed one for 14 months and one for 16 months and never experienced the kind of pain you are talking about. I know it’s common to have some pain, I know that I am one of the lucky ones that it was easy for, but it should be noted that it doesn’t have to be a miserable experience to be conquered and analyzed and new moms shouldn’t approach it from a place of fear.
So. 23 years ago (!!!) I breastfed my son, and three weeks in, he decided he didn’t want to turn his head in one direction, so he ceased feeding on one side. Ouch! But even back then, there were numbers in the phone book (!!!) for LaLeche League consultants. Thank goodness! I learned to feed him lying down, with his feet by my head, so he could feed by turning his head the way he was comfortable. Within a few days, whatever was bothering him about that side changed, so we got back to normal. When my daughter was born, 25 years ago, I was the only new mom that was nursing! I had a lactation consultant all to myself at the hospital!
I have never used a cover and I breastfeed anywhere and everywhere. I have had women come up to me and thank me for doing it in pubic and I think that the more of us that do the more normalised it will become. Don’t be embarrassed, it’s what you were given them for!!!
I nursed and found it really hard. I’m actually more proud of sticking it out for 5.5 hard months than I am of two university degrees.
My best advice: Take it one day at a time.
When I needed encouragement, my now ex husband told me to get over it becuase it was best for our child. My accountant brain did the math: if I nursed ten times a day for thirty days a month for six months, I would be nursing 1800 times! 1800! It was like staring at a mountain I could never climb.
I survived by taking it one day at a time and saying to myself, just make it to tomorrow and if you have to quit tomorrow, then you can. And sometimes tomorrow would be a little better and eventually I made it.
One day at a time.
This post s so timely! i appreciate that you are supportive of all moms, no matter what. I’m a firt time mom & my little one is a month old. Lately, he has been wanting to nurse for an hour +. Heis definitely one that likes to comfort nurse, which is fine, but I’m worried about over feeding him. Plus, I’m getting really sore! Did any of your boys do this? Do you ave any advice?
LJ is definitely a comfort nurser and I am sometimes sore too! He has started solids though so my situation is a little different. From everything that I read, a child can get the nutrition he needs from twenty minutes. If the rest of the time is because of a parenting style you choose, then nursing can be great as long as the latch is still correct.
xo – kb
Yes! It isn’t always painful! And my best friend had a super easy time! I am purely talking from my experience and this was it.
xo – kb
This is such an amazing post. I have been exclusively nursing my 7 and a half month old son and have never felt so proud of myself or like such a failure in my life. I have too much milk and felt like I was choking my little guy for the first 2 months, I’ve had mastitis twice, cracked nipples, nursing blisters and have a serious hatred for pumping. But every time I nurse Jasper I am forced to stop, be still and look at this little man and I am totally ok with my dysfunctional boobs. Nursing is an emotional rollercoaster. I think it rocks that you put it out there.
Oh man, I want to hear lots more! I’m going back to work in the office next month, and I’ll be pumping. Just bought a pumping bra and all the other supplies. Right now my baby will take a bottle, but we’ve only been giving him pumped milk once a week or so, otherwise he’s exclusively breast fed. I want to begin to pump a lot more to have us both get ready for next month. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should begin? Pump during the middle of the night, or after feedings?
I nursed my twin boys for 22 months and it was awesome, but not without a lot of mistakes and setbacks! I learned so much going through mastitis, surgery to repair a breast abscess, multiple bouts of thrush and what seemed like every other issue in the book. My favorite thing about my nursing experience besides giving my dudes a great start, is sharing my experiences and helping other moms which is why this is a great post! I have even referred friends here to your tongue and lip tie posts for reference. Thanks for sharing this bit with us too!
I started out by pumping in the morning right after he ate. I know some people will do an additional session in the evening or afternoon right after the kiddo eats as well. At first you won’t get that much because your body is used to producing what your baby takes, but over time it builds up. I was able to stock up 400 ounces by the time I went back to work at 12.5 weeks and I am still producing extra in the morning so I am building up the stockpile instead of just using it up. I want to be prepared if I start to produce less.
I just have to say that if it wasn’t for Katie talking about her breastfeeding experience with Will a year or so ago I would have thrown in the towel around week 3. I knew that pain can happen and it does get better and I also knew to look for lip or tongue tied, and those were issues for us. So I think it is important for women to hear about experiences like this.
Lindsay – my son (he’s 9 months now) was a HUGE comfort nurser too. I used to joke that he would nurse all day long if I let him! Rest assured though, it’s almost impossible to overfeed a nursed baby. With nursing, the baby is in charge of flow and often they aren’t ingesting any milk once they are full and are just “sucking” for comfort. Also, during growth spurts, your baby may nurse for a lot longer than normal, but that’s good! because it means he’s preparing your body to produce more milk for his needs 🙂