Fruitie Patootie

This is one of my all time favorites to make.  Why?

No cooking required.

That’s right.  Baby, you can take this heat so stay inside the kitchen!  We are making Fruitie Patootie Fruit Salad! 

What makes this different than other fruit salad?  To be honest?  Nothing.  Nisch.  Nada. 

But it was too delicious not to share 🙂

Get out your strainer and put it in the sink.

Throw two packages of blueberries in there.  Oh my.  Just look at that blue heavenliness.

Split them up in two separate large mixing bowls.  Then do the grapes. I just buy one large bag. 

Make sure to get any straggler stems. 

Next is Mandarin Oranges.  Three cans if you like oranges…two if you don’t. 

I drain the juice off first.  That sweet Godly nectar can be used for many a chicken dressing.  I swear that this stuff was the drink of Hercules.  This was way before Red Bull of course.

All you gotta do is pop the top a little and pour it into a clean jar. 

Then dump (heehee!) the oranges onto the grapes…again, this is split between two bowls.

Next up….strawbabies.

oh sweet strawbabies…you are my favorite above all my other fruit…you complete me.

I destem all three packages before rinsing.

And then I chop them smaller to add to our bucket.

Oh my lordie, my mouth is watering.

Here is a kicker though. 

Sometimes those little strawbabies aren’t fully ripened.  So I help out Mother Nature by adding a little Bower Power.

aka: Splenda. 

Two packages per carton.

Just a little sprinkle.

Then we move to the cantaloupy.  It is way easier to cut if you first cut it in half and clean out the munk.

 

Then you cut in half again and lay her on the sexy side.  Slice the melon in strips and then get the juicy core.  And like Freddie Krugar, you wanna slice er up real good.

Add that to your Splenda-id Strawberry layer.

Next is apples.  Apples are tricky.  I like Gala apples but any will do…just cut them and add them to a SEPARATE bowl.  After each apple, swish some lemon juice on top.  After all your apples are all chopped, stir the tart little suckers really well.  There should be a little lemon juice on the bottom of the bowl.  Take the bowl to the sink and rinse lightly and quickly with water and drain.  Now your apples won’t pull a reverse MJ.     

Add the final fruit to your masterpiece. 

Stir.  Attempt not to drool on the food.

I like to serve mine in white or glass bowls.  Doesn’t it look delicious?!?  This amount will last a family of six an entire week.  It’s ridiculously awesome.

And you may be wondering why we call it Fruity Patootie…well, my friend, when you make this and serve it to your family and friends, expect a little congratulatory bootie smack.  It’s that good.