Today is my induction day. I’ve been trying to be patient but seriously, this day seemed to never get here. I am officially 42 weeks. 14 days over the due date. My doctor at my last appointment joked that if we went by my period and the ‘hanky panky’ date, then I would be 43 weeks…which is just crazy. Geesh. Longest pregnancy ever.
At least that is how it feels to me.
And gosh-darn, there are just so many emotions. I feel like I am experiencing them all simultaneously. ALL THE EMOTIONS. It’s weird. It’s exciting. It’s terrifying. It’s bittersweet. It’s happy and sad and everything in between.
One of my friends asked how I was doing and honestly, the only thought that came to my head was that I am really thankful that I have to kick the kids out of me….instead of the opposite problem.
Don’t get me wrong…I hate the fact that with Will that my body just stopped working while in labor…and I hate that my body never really started labor with Weston after my water was officially deemed broken…and I hate it even more that I waited around for my uterus to start with LJ and it didn’t. It’s very frustrating. I wonder ‘why’ all the time. I wonder why does my body not let things go. I wonder why can’t I just be one of those normal average girls with a normal average birth.
But then I start to wonder if such a thing even exists.
I wonder if every girl when faced with the unknown asks ‘why me?’.
And I think that is ok. I think we all get that privilege…that right…to throw a self-pity-party for thirty seconds….feel it in those moments and then to know that BOOM…you know it. you felt it. you grasped that feeling with two hands. maybe it was small or big or deep or fleeting…but you felt the ‘why’. And embracing it gives us empathy. it can soften you. it can make you more gentle and more understanding and more sensitive to others. not so that we compare our why to another person’s why…but so that we can connect with them…relate with them…support and LOVE each other.
Jeremy always asks me why I am crying. especially when it’s a stupid insurance commercial or we are driving past fields of cows or whatever. I always respond with ‘I’m just feeling it’. And the fact is…I do…I am overly sensitive. I feel it all. I hold onto that depth of emotion like it’s a Titanic wood door vowing to “never let you go!”. But the thing is, I’d rather feel too much than too little every.single.time.
Which brings me back to my original thought…I am feeling it today. I am feeling so overly thankful. And these past two bonus weeks have been nothing short of amazing. I am feeling heartache for you mama’s that just wanna bring your premie babies home from the NICU. You are pure strength. I am feeling thrilled beyond words to introduce my two boys to their new brother. Will is really excited…and Weston is gonna miss pinching my protruding belly button. I am feeling all of this and so much more. And I want you to know that I am really grateful for all the encouragement you guys have sent our way. You have been patient and kind and encouraging. And I really do appreciate it…from the bottom of my heart….
So now let me step off my emotional soap-box for a second and give you some more nitty gritty. I am going in later today to be induced and have an amazing doctor who is a huge supporter of VBACs. More than likely, this baby will be born within the first 12 hours…hopefully. He is in the right position (he was posterior for the past three weeks) and I have passed all three of my Non-Stress-Tests with flying colors. As of yesterday I had plenty of amniotic fluid, the heartbeat was strong, my blood pressure was good….everything that points to a good chance of a VBAC. That’s the goal…healthy baby first, healthy mommy second, then VBAC. In that order 🙂
The bad news is that I am experiencing SEVERE sciatica pain…worse than I’ve ever had before…even with Weston. It’s only been the past week but has gotten to the point where I am not able to walk more than ten steps or so before needing to sit or lay down. I definitely think it means that LJ’s head is in the ‘right’ spot so that’s the silver lining. I’m just hoping that I can make it into the hospital bed from the parking lot because it is a lot longer than ten steps 🙂
The great news is that I have done well with pain meds in the past…so hopefully when the time comes that the Pitocin is too vigorous…an epidural will knock out both the labor and the sciatica 🙂 We shall see…
All in all…we are hopeful. Everything here is good…nervous and excited but oh-so-good. And basically in less than 24 hours, I will be holding my new baby. HOLY CRAP.
MY NEW BABY!!!!
And if you want to follow along with the birth, we are gonna try to update on Instagram @bowerpowerblog – this should feed into Facebook so MOM, YOU WILL NEED TO HIT REFRESH (don’t worry…I’ll show you how before I leave!).
Much love to you guys…and the next time I post, it should be with a pic of the newest little Bower! YAY! Kisses! Hugs! High fives for everyone! Fist bump blow it up!
Flo says
Hello Katie,
Good luck from the other side of the Ocean. Blessings and wishing you all the best for your delivery for both of You.
Flo
[email protected] says
Praying for a healthy baby & mom and a short labor. Good luck, Katie!
Maria says
Good luck!! You can do it!
I honestly think due dates are overrated, your babies just love your uterus!
But I totally understand that you are just so ready to meet LJ and not be pregnant anymore!
You look so pretty in your maternity photos!
Alli says
I have been checking your blog each morning waiting for this update. Praying for you, your family, and all those that will be helping you today! Ask the Holy Spirit to go before you and do more than you can think or imagine! Thank you for letting us join you on the incredible journey 🙂
Sarah says
Praying for you on this most special day. YOU ROCK MAMA! And congratulations
Sabrina says
So exciting! Will be praying for a safe delivery for you and Baby LJ.
Stephanie says
I just love your spirit. I’m feeling it for you today – getting teary myself, just so happy for you! Sending up prayers for you and your family. And looking forward to checking Instagram throughout the day!
Lisa Guimond says
Best wishes to you and Jeremy today. Can’t wait to see the little guy!
Kate says
Exciting! I wish you a “speedy delivery” as Mr. McFeely would say. Can’t wait to see your new little guy!
Elaine says
Good luck!
Linda Williamson says
Praying now for you and little LJ! Can’t wait to see a picture of the little man!!
Katie says
Good Luck! I will praying for a safe and healthy delivery for both you and little LJ.
Kate says
YAY! Sending good vibes your way!
I know what you mean about having a little time to feel sorry for yourself. After years of not getting pregnant, I definitley had a case of the “Why Me’s?” Then one round of IVF, and suddenly we’re having a kid. In that short amount of time I went from feeling like a failure to being one of the lucky 25% that gets a perfect result on the first try. It doesn’t matter how big or small your feelings are, they’re YOUR feelings. People (especially women) have a hard time understanding that you’re not comparing yourself to THEM, you’re comparing yourself to your own idealistic view of the world. Good luck today!
Heather @ Thrifty Stories says
Praying for you, Kate. Cannot wait to see pics of baby LJ.
Sarah says
Good Luck Katie!! You got this. This is the easy part … well, the fastest part, at least 🙂
Lisa P. says
Pretty awesome Katie! I am nervous and excited for you all at the same time! I have two baby girls and had a vaginal birth with the first and a c-setion with the second and both were scary, intense and wonderful! You can do it! Best wishes for a speed and safe delivery xo!
Julie says
Praying for a safe arrival for your newest addition! Can’t wait to hear all about it!
Tanja says
Dear Katie, good luck to you and little LJ!
Kim M says
Good Luck! Wishing you a safe and speedy delivery.
Debbie L. says
Katie, I hope your induction goes well and you have a safe, healthy birth of LJ! I’m particularly excited because today is my little boy’s first birthday. Thank you for your candor! You are loved!
Rebekah says
So excited for y’all! Praying for safe delivery for mama and baby!! I can’t wait to ‘meet’ him! 🙂
Linda says
You are absolutely gorgeous in these pictures. I was induced with my second baby too and it ended up being a great experience for me. Once the pitocin started, my son arrived within 3 hours. I hope you have a great experience too. Enjoy every moment and congratulations on welcoming a new sweet baby boy to your family today.
Ila says
All the best to you!
Liz says
I’m feeling it too. Teary eyes. Praying for you both.
Sarah says
Sending up prayers for a healthy baby, healthy mama, and smooth delivery! Can’t wait it ‘meet’ the newest Bower boy!
Gayla says
Best of luck Katie Bower and Family! You are in our thoughts and prayers today!
lizzie says
good luck!!
and yes, i believe every mom asks “why me?” I also never went into labor on my own and after 30 hours of a failed induction I ended up having a csection and its hard hearing my friends perfect labor stories as i sit here thinking my body failed me but you are right, thank god we have full term healthy babies and even though they didnt come out the way we want, we couldnt be more blessed!!
Emily-Jane @ Not A House, But A Home says
Good luck Katie!! I hope all goes well today 🙂
Nicole says
Best wishes for a safe delivery and a happy, healthy little babe!!
Gretchen says
Good luck today! I can’t wait to see your new little one.
cappy says
I have tears of joy for you all! Sending my heart and prayers for you, LJ and your family!! I can not wait to meet this little guy! 42 weeks is really amazing!
Susan says
Praying for you and your sweet family. Can’t wait to see the pictures of LJ.
Katie T. says
Praying for you all! Cant wait to see LJ!
Kaitlyn says
Good luck Katie!! So excited for you and the family, and hoping for a safe and stress-free birth 🙂 xoxo
Liz says
Ahhhhhhhh you’re having a baby today!!!!! Good luck!!!!!
Arty says
Awesome of you to hang in there… And most importantly to share your inner most feelings. I as well have been overdue once and now thinking about what’s going to be with my next child due in August gives me the chills.. But after reading your post, gives me good hope n strength.
All the best… And u’r cardigan is so cute where did u find it!
Paula says
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. When you first posted you were pregnant with LJ I also had tears – for different reasons. You were so sweet in that post to talk about your excitement but also feel for all of us who were trying to so hard to have a baby. We had been trying for a while at time, had one miscarriage and just starting down the fertility treatment road and I was one of those girls you were talking to and it hit home. But now I read this post with joy in my heart as we just saw our baby’s heartbeat at my 8 week ultrasound yesterday. I love your honesty and emotion. Best wishes for you today as you meet your newest little one!
Chris says
Katie, you and your Bower boys are in my prayers today. There’s simply no better feeling in this world than looking into your new baby’s eyes. Much <3
Amber says
Wishing you a healthy and fast delivery! Holy cow you’re patient! Xo
Erin says
Sending prayers your way! These pictures are beautiful!
Jen says
Hooray! So excited for your beautiful family. And at 42-ish weeks, you look absolutely amazing! Seriously.
Sending you good, healthy baby and mom vibes so you can have the birth you want. We can’t wait to hear about it!
Angie Prine says
Praying for you and LJ! I am very excited for you and your family!! God bless 🙂
Kelly Gruetzmacher says
We will be praying for you!!! Can’t wait to see your new baby!!!
Lori says
Yesssss!!! I love baby day!!! What an exciting thing to experience no matter how many times you’re blessed to do it. To greet a new human is AMAZING! You’re going to be awesome today, Katie. Go you and go LJ!
And also, YESSS to just feeling it. I am tired of the implication that others have it tougher therefore I shouldn’t feel what I feel in my own heart about my life. It doesn’t make me less grateful. It doesn’t make me less empathetic. It doesn’t mean I’m ever jealous about someone else’s life, it means I’m feeling all the emotions in my heart. Thank you for putting this into words and sharing it with the world.
See you on the other side as a Mama to THREE!! Squeeee!
Susan in MD says
Good Luck, best wishes and I hope your labor is short and pain free! (LOL)
AmAnda says
Yay!! So excited. I can’t wait to see pics of little lj 🙂
caroline [the diy nurse] says
So happy to finally meet this little baby! You’ve been on my mind for about two weeks now. “I hope she doesn’t have it while I’m working… I won’t be able to follow along.”
And if you were worried, today is totally okay with me 😉 Knock it out of the park so to speak!
Kate S. says
Lots of love and prayers to you guys, Katie!
Geertrude says
Good luck!
And thank you for this post. I honestly thought I was the only woman that didn’t get into labor by herself. Even after my water broke. Twice.
I’m so thankful that I live in a time and place where I got the necessary medical assistance.
Hope this little man will get out easy and fast 😉
Stephanie says
You got this, girl. Can’t wait to “meet” LJ!
Lina says
Go Katie Go! I’ll be praying for you up here in Nashville!
Ame says
Good luck!!!!!
Mckayla says
Good luck! I was the same way- actually induced with all 3. I was disappointed too that my body wouldn’t just get with the program and let me go into labor! Hoping everything goes according to how you want it!
Emily F says
Praying for a quick delivery and good health to you both! I can’t wait to see pics of the little man!
Erin says
Best of luck today! Praying for you in Texas.
Rita says
New baby. BEST. THING. EVER!!!
Coracle hi says
Sending you lots of love for a healthy delivery! You can do it!
Winnie says
Hey sweet mama! Just popped on FB and saw your post. Praying for you today & for your precious little men as they adjust to life with their new brother bear! 🙂 I have 20 more days until we meet Boy #4!
Jen H says
This preemie mom thanks you for this. I often asked “Why us, why now?” when she came 8 weeks early, and then, “Why are we so lucky?” when we saw she was absolutely perfect. This is such an enlightening perspective to take . Sending you prayers and lots of love today! Your photos are beautiful!
Brooke says
Good luck Katie! Sending prayers your way for a safe, healthy and quick delivery! !
Lisa W says
EEEKK!! I am so excited for you!! I too, threw a pity party with the 3 of my births. My first was an emergency c section and with my second I sooo wanted a vbac, but it was not in the cards…actually that c section lasted 3 hours with a vacuum and forceps. My third had to be planned c section and I always felt like I missed out on the labor pains and delivery…but like you said, we get over it and I am so grateful for my 3 amazing, healthy kids!! Sad that it is over for me, but so excited to meet you little man!! BTW…you look amazing in these photos!!! Good Luck!!
Hannah says
Lots of prayers for a successful VBAC and healthy baby and mommy from Central Florida!
Bethany says
Good Luck, Katie!! I hope everything goes smoothly and according to plan today!
Andrea says
Congrats! I’m just one of your anonymous readers that is super excited for you! You are such and inspiration and make pregnancy look great and easy! And let’s be honest, your productivity level – pregnant or not – makes me so envious! good luck and when you are back and answering comments, where are those boots from? love them! 🙂
Laura says
Good luck Katie. Praying for a safe delivery for your and the baby
ang says
i remember when you were crying about not being able to conceive a #2. now…. you’re on your 3rd! God’s awesome.
Laura says
So exciting! Sending thoughts and prayers your way for a smooth birth! Can’t wait to see your newest family member!!
Whitney says
Good luck!
angela bowles says
Best of luck to you, Katie!!! Wishing you an easy delivery and healthy baby boy!! Can’t wait to see pics of the newest Bower boy! =)
Courtney S. says
Coming from a mama who delivered a 26 weeker who spent 4 months in the NICU/PICU, I’m glad you realize how lucky you really are to be able to carry all your boys so long. Good luck.
Linda says
What a sweet post today – it made me all weepy. Praying for you, little LJ and the entire family. So happy for you.
Katie V. says
Thinking of you all and am so excited to follow along!
Nicolle says
Best of luck! Praying you have a safe and quick delivery today.
Reenie says
Oooohhhh I can’t wait to see lil LJ. I’ll be thinking of you guys and praying. Adorable photos of you and The Boyfriend!! 🙂
xo
mandi@ vintage revivals says
Good luck KB!
Jennifer G. says
Best of luck today – I hope it all goes as you want it to. Keeping you and all your boys in my thoughts and prayers.
liz @ btb on etsy says
Yay! So excited for y’all! I’ll definitely be following along again.
Meghan says
Prayers for a safe delivery for you all! I too am a not your average delivery girl – so I feel ya! And you know once that squishy baby is in your arms – none of that seems to matter so much. I’m super excited for you!
Ashley F says
GOOD LUCK!!!
nina says
Congratulations and good luck!!
Alicia W. says
Wow! Yay! Congratulations! I will be praying for all of your health and happiness today. So excited!
patty says
can’t wait to see LJ and for you to have this behind you. good luck and we’ll all be rooting for you… Go Katie go!! Good luck!!
Ana from Portugal says
I wish you the best of lucks, katie!
Here in Portugal we have a saying: may you have a small hour! Meaning, hope it goes fast!
I’ll lit a candle for you.
Love from Portugal!
Diane Taylor says
Katie – you are in my prayers today – God, please life up this family as they bring their precious gift into the world. Welcome baby Bower – you have a captive audience waiting for you!!!!
Kelsey says
Go Katie! Congrats!
Ellen says
Congratulations Bowers!
Jen Jones says
Good luck, Katie! Is it weird that I’ve been anxiously awaiting updates?! I forget you aren’t an actual friend that knows me. Am I the only one with imaginary friendships with my favorite bloggers? Ha ha Can I blame mom brain?!
Can’t wait to hear all about your experience and “meet” LJ!
Reshma Sanjeev says
Good Luck and Best Wishes to you!
Stephanie says
Praying that everything goes well for you and baby!! Can’t wait to “meet” the new little guy. 🙂
Maz says
Good Luck from Scotland!!! You & baby LJ will do amazingly I am sure!! xx
Brenda says
I’ve been one of those NICU mamas for the past 7 weeks. Like you I just keep thinking, “C’mon baby!” Hopefully my little squish will be home by the middle of April.
Good luck with your VBAC today! I love that you have the courage to try for one… well, another one. : )
Ashley A says
Sending so much love, prayers for a smooth & safe delivery & congratulations from the mitten! <3
Brenna says
Praying for you and all four of your boys. Push Mama Push!:)
Vicky B. says
From another mom who had three overdue births (one million and two years ago!), I’m wishing you all the best for a fast and safe labour and delivery. Much love to one of my favourite bloggers!!
Kelly says
Katie, I am so excited for you. Been following you for years through all the ups, downs , celebrations and disappointments. I hope that this delivery is all celebration and mom and baby are healthy and happy in the end. I will be holding you in silent prayer today. Many blessings and a huge congratulations!
Karen says
Good luck! Will be praying for you!!
Kate says
Good luck sweetie! Thinking of you and sending you guys an extra prayer.
Natalie says
Good luck Katie! You will do great. And as someone who had her first baby over eight weeks early trust me don’t feel bad about wanting your baby out. I’m 28 weeks with my second and I of course wouldn’t want to go early again, but an extra two weeks would not be fun from how I feel already! Also, I literally couldn’t walk for sciatica pain and I had an epidural and it did knock that pain right off the hospital bed 🙂 Can’t wait to hear about LJ’s birth!
Lina says
You look incredible in these pics! Love that first one!
Good luck with the birth and I can’t wait to see the pics of your new little guy.
In regards to the “meat” of this post….I think you are right about everyone asking “why me?” It’s the natural thing to do when things aren’t going as planned. I can’t say I understand the part about finally understanding why. I think there are many instances in life, many situations that are tough and horrible and there is no “why”. I have one beautiful, brilliant little girl, but I’ve also had two miscarriages in the past 5 months and am waiting to hear if the last one was something called a molar pregnancy. If it was, I will not be able to try to conceive again for at least 6 months, maybe a year. It’s heartbreaking and I don’t think I will ever find the “why” in this. It’s just one of those situations that happens randomly, and sucks. There isn’t much else to it.
I don’t mean to be a downer! I am so happy for you and can’t wait to see your new precious baby, and especially to see Will and Weston interacting with him! All the best!
AshM says
Darn it, I just love you. I’m a reader, non-poster but you got me today. I’m feeling it for you. And you opened my eyes today to something about myself… this is so me, “I am overly sensitive. I feel it all. I hold onto that depth of emotion like it’s a Titanic wood door vowing to “never let you go!”. But the thing is, I’d rather feel too much than too little every.single.time.” UGH, me too. Sometimes it annoys me. Sometimes I love it about myself. Mostly it takes up a lot of rented brain space, but I can’t imagine being any other way. So today, I’m feeling it for you. Good luck Bowers with baby Bower3. Can’t wait to see him! ~Ashley
Belinda says
All the best Katie! Can’t wait to share in the arrival of LJ! xoxo
KP says
This preemie mama thanks you for your perspective and wishes you well! Why ask why? For some reason I only cook babies for 35 weeks. Some mamas cook ’em for 42. A healthy baby is what is most important. You are blessed to deliver a full term baby today. Best wishes!
Kate says
Praying for a safe & healthy delivery for you & LJ! I had to be induced with my #1 and #3 boys. With my #2 boy, my water broke 2 weeks early but then still needed pitocin to get the contraction going… I am just grateful for modern medicine to help us out… top of the list: epidurals 🙂
Mariah S. says
SO EXCITED!! Good luck! Prayers are with you and I’m so excited to follow along on Instagram!
Catherine says
I have been stalking Instagram hoping you had gone into labour. Praying that everything goes fantastic for you! The whole aim is to have a healthy baby and Mama at the end, doesn’t matter how you get there. Good luck!! Can’t believe how excited I am for someone I don’t know… ha ha 🙂
Anje says
Sending much love and good wishes from Wisconsin to you Katie! I feel like a good friend is having a baby and I’m so excited for you 🙂
Dayna says
Yay! The day is here – LJ’s birthday! So happy and excited for your family. And praying all goes well 🙂 Thanks for sharing the excitement with us, I’ll be following on instagram!
bridget b. says
sending good luck and prayers your way!!
Paige says
As a first-time mom-to-be, I am weeping at this post. I feel all the feels ALL THE TIME! So happy for you. Lots of over-the-internet love today!
Meghan says
Paula, I got goosebumps reading your comment! Congratulations!!!
Amy says
Praying for you Katie! Fist bump blow it up! You’re a seasoned pro lovely lady – you can do it!! xxx
Kelsey Jaderston says
Congrats, momma! I am excited to follow along again and I will be praying for a safe and stress free delivery – and a healthy babe when it’s all said and done. 🙂
Maja says
Good luck 🙂 This post made me smile.
xx
http://artsyshimmer.blogspot.com/
Kathryn says
So exciting for you guys! Praying that all goes well! xoxo
Jenny G. says
Happy Baby Day! Good luck and best wishes to your new family of 5!
Janelle Muhlenkamp says
Best wishes on such an exciting day! Your pictures are ADORABLE by the way! You look so happy and beautiful.
Mandy says
Praying for you!
Jennie says
Love your blog, keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers today!
Krystal says
Bless you Katie and Jer–Your post just is so real and sweet. Praying for a safe delivery!
Katie says
Boots from target!
xo kb
LibraDesignEye says
Prayers working for both of you – healthy bebe, healthy mom . .
Emily Colburn says
I found your blog on I heart organizing. I think we would be best friends if we lived close to each other. We would just be crying all the time. Congrats on your new little one.
Lisa says
Thinking of you, hoping for a safe, happy, and healthy delivery. p.s. You look beautiful in your pictures! I’m so glad you were able to capture this time.
bean says
Was just looking at your instagram photos and got so nervous, realizing you are in labor right now, that I almost choked on my carrot. Prayers for you and yours.
Camilla @ Something Is Done says
Best wishes and prayers for a safe delivery!
Alyssa says
Yay! So exciting, since I’m just getting the chance to read this now, you should be even closer to holding LJ!!! Whoot Whoot!!
Morgan says
Hope you have a safe delivery. Much love being sent to your family. <3
Ida says
Sending lots of love your way! Wishing you a safe and healthy delivery. I will be following on Instagram!!!
Sherri says
Kept checking instagram. Answered prayer. LJ is here! He is beautiful, and you look beautiful also. Can’t wait to hear all the details! Congratulations, and God bless you and your family.
Patricia says
Saw you and the brand new snuggle bunny on Instagram! Congratulations on a healthy delivery. Hope all is well for you both.
Maya says
he is gorgeous!! Mazel
mariela says
Beautifully said!
Diane says
I am VERY partial to my own beautiful babies, but seriously, you guys make beautiful babies!!
Congratulations!!!
mary says
the picture of you and your husband holding your belly is so precious,the look on both of your faces says so much.his has such a grateful wondrous look and yours is like this ids ours, i have carried our baby for us for you for our family.beautiful
Ashley says
I appreciate and totally get what you said about “I’m just feeling it”. I am totally an emotional person (and not pregnant, sadly) and am “just feeling it” all the time. Sometimes I worry it’s depression but your entry made think maybe it’s just life and I am just an emotional gal. Regardless, I kind of like feeling it all, I’m okay with emotions right now.