Originally written August 3, 2009
My emotional overload is over. Well, not over. More like over-ish. semioverish. gotta leave room for the future 🙂
I think I may have come to the point where I have not only accepted the fact that a possible mutant child is growing inside of me but that I am happy, nay, excited about having a little dinosaur.
How did things change?
well, they didn’t. I did.
Like the other day I was driving home, listening to Garth Brooks (yes, I live in the south) and singing along. loudly. when I got struck with such a strong force that I was pushed back into my upholstered seat. no, it wasn’t that old lady who always seems to pull out in front of me. the old lady with the old white house across from the rednecks who have 9 delapidated cars sitting in their front yard. the same old lady that goes 7 miles an hour in a 45 zone. the one that I almost hit every day. it wasn’t her. it was a Godsmack.
I think that sometimes God has to reach down and smack me. It usually makes me cry. This time was no different. This time He struck me with something that I failed to contemplate. something that He wanted me to ponder. something that brought me to tears.
This dinosaur, my dinobug was not mine at all. Sure, it was growing inside of me but that didn’t make it mine. Just because I was the one that would be legally responsible when 18 year old Dino gets caught with a beer doesn’t mean that I am the owner. Just because I have to push this watermelon out my waterhose, doesn’t mean a darn thing. It is His. His dinobug. His child. His miracle. His gift. Just plain His. My body belongs to God, my mind, my crazy personality that I like to take claim over…all these thoughts, feelings, and dreams were created by God. And gosh darn it God copyrighted those suckers. And here, I am – a complete crybaby because I fear change. It was just the smack I needed. All of a sudden I could feel my heart losing a little bit of fear, a little bit of anxiety, and those holes were filled with gratitude for the ability to take care of this gift.
I will have to re-evaluate my terminology when Dino turns terrible 2 🙂 But for now…Dino is a gift.
Wow, what a great perspective. Thank you for sharing that – I needed a reminder of all the gifts and blessings in my life that He’s given me!
Katie, you are so right. God is awesome and has a plan for you. Sometimes it is difficult to see through the mumbo jumbo and put your selfish mind at ease. I know this all to well, and yet I always forget. Our God is an awesome God.
I thank God every morning for letting me babysit two of his most beautiful children for the next 50 years or so. He kinda rocks that way.
Keep in mind when little dinobug is working on the last frayed nerve you have that God never gives us anything we can’t handle. So, while you THINK you can’t handle another second of it, He KNOWS you can. You can do this, Katie, and you’ll be fabulous.
Aww, you’re going to love being a mom. It IS scary and a big responsibility but it is a great ride. I will say that there are times when I want to run screaming from the house, and if I had known how hard/scary/wild this was going to be I would have locked myself in the nearest available convent. But it is all worth it – that and more!
Lovely post – funny words that put a beautiful sentiment out there for anyone to understand and appreciate!
Thank you for this post Katie! Its just what I needed to hear. I’m a believer, recently 30 (still in denial), married for 3.5 years, no kids, grew up with career ambitions of being a SAHM, but recently can’t comprehend having kids, love my nieces/nephews to pieces, but have trouble relating to my baby crazy friends and avoid the topic with my family. My thought has been, Gen 1:22 can’t apply to me now that the earth is well populated. I selfishly fear that kids would interfere with my husband and my close relationship or take after one of our distant relatives we avoid instead of being our mini-mes. You have given me a new perspective…the right perspective! Keep it up & congrats on your Dino!!!
You are so right! When I read your post about completely breaking down it was such a reminder to me of when I found out I was pregnant the first time. I called it my “fall on my knees” moment. All of a sudden I was consumed with fear, concern, anxiety, etc and all I could do was pray. And it worked!!
You make me cry. I am expecting too, 9 weeks today, so I totally relate to all the emotional upheaval. We have our first doctor appointment today – I can’t wait to see our baby!
I too stand in awe of God, as I recognize that he is using me to hold this baby while it grows. I only pray that I can rest in His embrace throughout the process.
Congratulations!
Beautifully said! What a great reminder as well.
Tis true. He’s got a purpose and a plan for this little one, and since I tend to lean the way that you (did) when it came to the FEAR of having kiddos, I need that reminder myself. But anyway, He’s knitting that precious little nugget in YOUR womb. Because He knew this little one needed one cool mamma and daddy. How crazy, cool is that? I just can’t wait to read when this little one starts to move!!
Again, thanks for sharing! loving. it.
Ok..so I have no children and are not planning on it any time soon, but I have an unhealthy obsession with onesies. So, here is an awesome website with the funniest onesies, I think you may enjoy them. Please, stock up and let us know if you buy anything.
http://www.theretrobaby.com/store/index.php?cPath=1&sort=4a&page=2
One of my favorties is one that says “I spent nine months on the inside”
amen to that Katie. We’re just there to guide and protect and ultimately, the child is HIS, in HIS hands…
Couldnt agree more…it also gives me chills to think about the responsibility of raising this child in the ‘way he should go so he shall not depart from Me’…and I think…wow, God…I need your help—please. 😉
yay! dino! so exciting for you both
What a wonderful post. Beautifully written!
I am currently going through the terrible twos-my son turned two today actually and I also have a two month old-Yes I am crazy and crazy busy.
So my point being, the terrible two’s are terrible yes, but they are also wonderful and so much fun! I am getting to enjoy my sweet little newborn and laugh and play with my two year old all at the same time!
Savor every day and every age! :))
I love it when God smacks me around a little. I need it every so often! 🙂
Awww. Very sweet. Lucky DinoBug.
Kelly
Amen! You’re little Dino is such a special gift from God!! And he meant little Dino to be placed into your care!
Being pregnant too, I’ve been reflecting a lot on creation, and I am completely blown away that God is creating this little girl inside of me… just knitting away in there 🙂 It’s such an honor that he’s trusting me to be her mommy!!
so are you going to make me cry EVERYday? just wondering. praying for you and dinobaby.
Every post keeps getting better and better! You are awesome Katie, and bravo for being open to a Godsmack…not everyone gives Him that kind of credit. : )
sob… sob… sob…
Ahhh, honesty. I love that. I have a hard time believing that every pregnant woman doesn’t have at least a moment of sheer panic and fear. But you’re the only one who’s shared it – I like that about you KB.
Such a freeing thought isn’t it? I cannot be completely held responsible for another person- you just get to enjoy the gift if a child (even if it is not always a joy) for your time at that is that. I love that thought.
You are exactly right. I’m proud of you. Let the fear go and celebrate the gift!
This was exactly what my heart was needing.
I just found out I am having my 2nd miscarriage. Knowing that I will get to see both my baby’s one day in Heaven makes me tear up with Joy. Everything God gives us is His to take back, and we have to be willing to say “Okay God, I’m trusting in You to keep me going, it’s yours and I will Love you through it.”
Also, it’s a silly pet peeve of mine, but the verse states that God will not give us anything HE cannot handle, not we cannot handle. If that were true than I would be a constant mess if I weren’t relying in Him to get me through those though times!
Keep up the website! You are an inspiration, and have a great way of making us readers laugh!
I’m a big Garth fann, what song of his made you feel this way?
Hi Mary –
Well any friend of Garth’s is a friend of mine 🙂 And the song was To Make You Feel My Love – but for some reason, I heard God singing it to me…only He sounded a whole lot like Mr. Brooks 🙂
XO – Katie