Originally written on August 12, 2009
Jeremy’s great aunt passed away this week.
We drove the 5 hours up and back for the funeral. It was pretty basic as funerals go – she was an outstanding old lady with family and friends that took care of her right up to the end while she battled cancer. I only met her twice but I can remember that she had this confidence about her that is uncanny in today’s world.
This event, this gathering, this day meant that we were going to be slaughtered with the reproduction questions from Jeremy’s side of the family. Think naked celebrity and paparazzi…that kinda ambush. I told Jeremy that we could go ahead and tell people. But I got the big fat veto on that one.
My boyfriend is really excited. Did I mention that already? He is soooo super excited and tells me all the time. All I think about these days is false positives. That’s right. No doctor has confirmed this pregnancy. It could be totally a false positive. It happens all the time…improper testing, a chemical pregnancy, phantom-hCG, defective tests, trophoblastic disease (can you tell I googled it?). And what if that is what is happening here?!?! I could totally be still little ole me…with a very empty uterus. I could be having a hysterical pregnancy! Or I could just be hysterical!!!!
(!!!) – that was for good measure 🙂
Back to the point…
Jeremy’s excited. And his excitement is only furthered by the fact that Dinobug will be the first grandchild for his family. Talk about pressure.
Dino (if you are in there) – you better not disappoint.
The gloves are off.
We are counting on you.
Basically, Jeremy said that he didn’t want the announcement that I got knocked up to be marred by the death of Aunt Jo. That he just wanted the news of a baby to be a celebration and that everyone should feel free to be happy on that day. And that we should give due respect to the life of such an amazing woman. What a sensitive man I married! Seriously. Maybe it is because I am a flake. I wouldn’t have thought of that in a million years. Or maybe it is just because I am all sperminated. It messes with your brain. Or could I be blaming my weirdness on a blighted ovum?
That makes sense. it will be nicer for everyone if you wait to tell them.
You should date this. I don’t think it really happened last week as you’ve had like 3 ultrasounds.
haha you sound just like me with googling everything! i was the same way with our first pregnancy! it’s natural to be nervous or not believe it cause you know something is different..but you can’t see that anything is different.
oh and blame any wierdness or craziness on being pregnant. that works for 9 months.
oh and a tip from one first time mommy to another….don’t drink 8 glasses of water in the morning before your ultrasound evennnn if they tell you to…you will regret it when all you ate was 5 animal crackers and you throw it all up in the doctor’s office lobby. you can thank me later. haha.
congrats and good luck with everything! great blog.
I had no idea so many things could cause false positives…
Kelly
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss!
I’ll speak up from experience on this one. We suspected we were pregnant during my great aunt’s final days battling breast cancer. She was the backbone of our family – the one who held everyone together, and was an exceptionally amazing woman. She passed away right after we found out we were pregnant, but before we told anyone. On the day of the funeral, everyone was sad, but in a state of acceptance – she’d been fighting it for a long time. We quietly sat my mom down at the wake (away from everyone else) to tell her she’d be a grandmother for the first time, and told her we were afraid to mention it due to the circumstances. She convinced us it was just what the family needed to hear – that even in the face of sadness and great loss, a new life was being nurtured, and that our aunt would have wanted everyone to have a reason to be happy that day. We did so quietly to those that it would mean the most to, and they took it incredibly. It changed the mood of the afternoon to one of more hope. To this day, my grandmother still talks about how it made my grandfather’s sister’s funeral bearable. I’d say your choice should be dependant on the circumstances of the death, the state of mind of the family. But ultimately, if Jeremy doesn’t want to do it, I’d make sure not to pressure him.
Totally understand where your boyfriend is coming from. My hubby’s uncle passed away around the 11 wks mark for us and we got all kinds of pressure from him mom to spill the “pregnancy beans.” We are really glad we stood strong and waited. I mean, the attention should be on his Uncle right?…Did I mention that sentiment didn’t stop his cousin from announcing her pregnancy at the wake?