***DISCLAIMER – We celebrated our third son, LJ yesterday as he turned one year old. I had always planned to share his birth story and his first birthday seemed most appropriate. This post does contain scenes from a birth…and in the words of my doctor, “birthing a baby is messy” so please be warned.
My hand braced against the wall. This was the third time. Third visit in one week. Third time getting my membranes stripped. Third pregnancy. Third little boy….late…again.
The uncomfortable pressure in my nether regions ceased and I could feel my hopes diminishing a little more bit by bit. Each time I came to another OBGYN appointment I hoped that the ‘checking’ would put me in labor…but I knew that it wouldn’t. I was a farmer after all…not a harvester. I knew how to grow the babies…big babies…not good at getting the labor started. This would be officially my longest labor. Today was my last appointment before my official 42 week mark. I would be saying goodbye to the title of family of four soon. I would be getting to meet this little guy that was well over cooked. As I exited the office, I double checked the phone number for the hospital and said bye to the girls that ran Dr. Tate’s office.
As I walked to the car, it happened. My entire back side felt like a steel pole got hammered into it. The pain washed down my legs and into my lower back. I knew this pain all too well. Sciatica. It was my nemesis with pregnancy. It was the price I paid for not having morning sickness or terrible pregnancy woes. It took me about four minutes to get to the ground. Sitting always helped. If I sat, I knew it would be over quickly and I would be on my way. I said a prayer. Not for it to go away but thanking God that I didn’t have the boys with me. Heaven knows Weston would have darted into the parking lot and there would be nothing I could do.
By the time I got home, everyone had already called. 6 voicemail messages were on my phone as I pulled into the driveway. It was sweet of family to be excited but it grated my nerves. Dang, why am I so sensitive?! Is it because I just wanna meet him already?! Is it because of jealousy? Am I a mad that all the other girls who were due around me already had their little loves in their arms? Maybe a little bit of everything. Maybe I am just tired.
The next few days came and went….everything was prepped. The boy’s clothing was set out. They would be in matching shirts and pants. I squeezed the nursing cover into my bag. I grabbed my friend Sarah’s hospital gown. It was cute…pink with polka dots. Completely different than the normal hospital garb I wore with the first two boys. I filled the time with getting ready. It never struck me before to do my hair or makeup…but this time, it was just another thing to do to pass the hours. My mom came. The boys took photos with my bulging belly. The list of details came out one last time. My mom could do this. She would be fine. At least I told myself that as I hugged and kissed her goodbye.
On the way to the hospital, we grabbed a sandwich for me and a lemonade. It was like deja vue….everything we did last time with Weston, we followed the recipe. Car, Chick-fil-a, parking garage, bags, check-in. Last time I was checking in to be induced, I stepped into the bathroom and my water broke. I crossed my fingers that it would happen again. Could lightening strike twice? I even did an extra squat and squeeze to be sure. Nothing. Instead I snapped a photo in the mirror and decided to punk Jeremy. He didn’t fall for it.
We moved into the room and everything was smooth sailing. The nurses started explaining the Pitocin and the fluids, the IV and the everything….I kinda phased out. We have been down this road before and I was dreading the pain. Last time, they let me labor for a long time to see if my body would kick into high gear by itself….and when it didn’t, the Pitocin didn’t take long to force the contractions. I phased back into the room long enough to hear “cord blood”….YES. That’s what I wanted to talk about. Cord blood! The nurses all of a sudden had my undivided attention. This hospital was a partner in cord blood banking and I had read an article about how you can publicly bank your umbilical cord blood at no charge so that others could use it if they needed. I read about this! I was so excited I cut off the nurse with “YES. YES, I want to do it.”
She looked at me kinda stunned….”Well, the cord is usually discarded and the amazing thing is that they can save it to help kids and adults who…”
I cut her off again…”Yes. I read about it. Where do I sign?”
She smiled. It seemed like she was shocked at my answer but really happy. “Great! It’s just gonna be a short procedure after the baby is born and we will need to start with some blood samples.”
“Ok. That sounds great. Glad to do it.”
Jeremy looked over at me puzzled. He didn’t know what it was but I knew that he would be supportive.
It was seven o’clock pm.
Hours passed. The hookups were in. The blood was sent to the lab. The waiting game had begun. Jeremy had ran across the street to get Chicken & Waffles and had eaten right in front of me. I sat there salivating. The waiting was the worst part. It was like watching a pot boil and I was the pot. Except the odd part was….this time there was nothing. No pain. No contractions. Nothing.
Two o’clock in the morning was staring at me. The clock in front of the bed didn’t help in passing the time. I just sat there. Trying to be comfortable. Still nothing. The nurses said that I probably would start feeling it by now….but as much as I focused on the
Five AM. I decided to make the ten step trek to the bathroom. Afterwards I looked into the mirror….is this really happening? Am I really on Pitocin? What the heck is going on?! Why am I not contracting?! The fear of ‘what ifs’ washed over me. What if I don’t ever start?! Will they c-section me again!? What if the contractions start so violently that I literally can’t do this? What if the baby is not ready!? Every little insecurity about birthing a child came over me. I allowed myself to go deep into those thoughts for a split second….what if there is something REALLY wrong? I looked back into the reflection. No. Not this time. This has to be normal. Otherwise Dr. Tate would say so. I trust him. He is watching the monitor. He knows.
By seven am, Jeremy was holding my hand and helping me breathe through each contraction. That moment of worry seemed like a distant memory….this was working…and it was working fast. Each contraction seemed more and more violent. The breaks in between seemed like they were disappearing into the end of one contraction and the beginning of the next. I looked at Jeremy with that desperate look. He asked me what I wanted to do.
“I want to keep going. I need to. I need to get this really going before I get the epidural. It’s the recipe. It works.” It was all I could manage to say with the pain overcoming me. I knew what would work…it worked with Weston’s delivery and I prayed that it would work again. All I had to do was make sure that I could make it two hours with progressive contractions and then I could get pain relief….the epidural would do the rest. It was a weird thought…to think that my body had a recipe for success….but I knew that if labor was actually progressing then the epidural would allow me to open up and I would have this baby in no time.
The phone rang. Jeremy answered. It was my dad. He called to let me know that his flight was at 4 and if I didn’t have this baby by noon, then he wouldn’t get to see him before he left. I made a point to have this baby out by then. I wanted my dad to meet this little guy. It was enough of a goal for me to keep going.
The resident came in at 8 am to check me….still at a four. I came in at a four. I knew what to do. I requested the epidural at nine am. I knew that it would be hard to wait that whole hour but I had to schedule it so that I had time to open up. Jeremy looked at me, questioning if I could make it that long. I didn’t think I could but I knew that I had to. When they finally came and put the epidural in, I immediately felt the sense of hope. This was going to work. I knew it would.
Ten minutes later, I was no longer writhing in pain….no more sweating and moaning….no more helpless looks from Jeremy….it was all pressure and no pain. I could still sense each wave of contraction but no longer did it clench up my entire being and not let go. We laughed. We took pictures with Jeremy’s cell phone. We called my mom. I put on more makeup and brushed the massive knots out of my hair from rubbing my head on the hospital pillow. It was quiet and slow and easy.
At ten thirty, the resident came back in and checked me….my water had broken and I was at a 9. I was so excited that my prediction had worked…the recipe was working! They called Dr. Tate and told him that he probably wanted to come in. I knew it would take him about an hour to drive to the hospital in traffic.
Eleven thirty rolled around and Dr. Tate strolled into the room. He was wearing a pink shirt and came over with a smile. I think he secretly likes delivering big babies and he knows mine are always on the chubby side. He said we were ready to go almost immediately.
It didn’t take long for them to get everything set up. I felt the first wave and Jeremy grabbed my leg. He knew exactly what to do as he juggled the camera and the phone. The first push…then the second….and out came the head. Dr. Tate hooked a finger under the armpit and twisted the rest of the baby out. It looked like a baby water slide.
He was HERE! Finally! After so much waiting, I saw his curled up little arms and legs and head full of hair and could not wait to just hold him. Little LJ was here! The doctor and nurses rubbed him till he cried and then flopped him up on my chest.
I pulled him up closer…trying to get a look at his puffy little lips and his sweet little nose. He cried….then he grabbed my finger…holding my hand like it was a comfort to him. I melted. Never had a newborn been so instinctively affectionate to me. My other two made you earn it…but this sweet creature just loved so freely. If I didn’t already love him, that would have pushed me over the edge.
The doctors and nurses were still at work….they had to harvest the cord blood and it took about ten extra minutes of people between my legs. Not ideal but I always thought that it was the right thing to do. As soon as they were done, I asked if they were going to weigh the baby. The nurse said that they wait one hour of mommy skin to skin before doing any further measurements. It was a different policy than just fifteen months earlier but I didn’t complain. That cuddle time was exactly what I wanted for the last nine months. I got to nurse and peered into LJ’s mouth afterward to confirm a suspicion….yup…tongue tied. I had experienced that type of feeling before while nursing Will….and this time I knew exactly what to look for. LJ was just like his daddy…only probably a little more extensive since his tie was already at the end of his tiny little tongue.
We called the family. We told my mom to bring the boys whenever she was ready. Jeremy handed LJ to Jeremy’s brother who was waiting in the hospital already.
We packed our big bags and got moved to our room. It was smaller than last time but something seemed off. There was a bag of dirty towels in the bathroom and although the bed was freshly made, there wasn’t any normal “Welcome Packet”. We ended up having four different nurses in the first hour of being in the room. We chalked it up to getting moved in the middle of shift change and thought nothing of it. I just wanted food anyway.
I immediately put Jeremy on ‘room-prep-duty’. He broke out the photos and hung them on the wall of the big boys. He got out my blankets from home and put them on the bed and we ordered lunch. I couldn’t wait to have the space feel a little more like home. I only wished I had brought my own hand soap and some air freshener (the hospital smell is so distinctive!).
When the boys arrived, they came in looking a little shy. Will took off his hat…his favorite gray hat that he always wore and didn’t ever share….and he put it on LJ’s head. It was the sweetest and most innocent gesture that he could have done.
Weston just wanted to stick his finger in the baby’s mouth. He would pull at the blankets to get closer and fail as we pulled the baby out of reach. You could tell he really missed us as all he wanted to do was to wrestle and tickle and cuddle both Jeremy and I.
Will brought over the new baby’s gift….a sweet book of Children’s Stories that we had Will and Weston both write a ‘message’ in the front page.
Jeremy took out his phone as we told the boys that baby LJ picked out something special for them too….a new PowerWheel! Will was ecstatic. Weston continued to try to get his finger in the baby’s mouth.
Family came and went and took pictures and gave hugs and congratulations. It was sweet and slow….no big drama and just a lot of kisses.
We told the nurses about the tongue tie and asked if they would clip it in the hospital so that he learned to latch correctly. The next day, the ENT came in as well as the whole team. They were surprised that I identified it so early but I explained our situation with past frenulums and how I knew it would be potentially be part of each of our kids. The procedure took longer than I expected but I was grateful they did it right there next to my bed. LJ cried….a little blood…and then nursed his tears away. He was already so opinionated about me…wanting to cuddle constantly and happy to just be in my arms sleeping with his tiny baby snore.
In the past, my birth stories were so much more dramatic…more ups and downs…but this time, it was exactly what I wanted…I wanted to know what I could do and how my body worked. I wanted to hold a baby and share him with the world. It wasn’t dramatic…it wasn’t extreme or out of the ordinary….but I wanted it to be slow….I wanted to savor the moments. I know that my time having babies would some day stop and this time…this very day…the mundane of it made it that much more special…so much easier to focus on the real star….not what I did but what that sweet babe did. He held my hand and my heart the moment he was born….and that is way better than any kind of story. Happy birthday sweet Leonard Judah. We love you so so much.
Oh, thanks for sharing this story! I thought you and LJ yesterday, because we celebrated my daughter’s 1st birthday yesterday, too.
I have to tell you that I thought of you at the end of my pregnancy, because my experience was similar to yours. I was overdue, had to be induced, and ended up with a c-section. You were the only person I “know” who goes way overdue, and I appreciated know that is normal for someone besides me.
My birth experience was long but lacking any excitement, but this post is a reminder that I should write down what I remember of it. (My husband took notes like, “2:00 a.m.- Dr. measured you at a ‘stretchy’ 5 cm.” Haha.) I’m sure my daughter would like to read it some day.
Happy Birthday, LJ!
That boy has grown into his hair – his wonderful hair.
Thanks for sharing.
well now i’m crying at work. such a sweet story, thank you for sharing.
And…suddenly I want another baby RIGHT NOW. Thanks a lot, Katie.
(This is a beautiful story, and your boys are beautiful, and I’m so excited for you guys to welcome #4. Also, possibly tears are involved, and we are STRANGERS, and that is nuts.)
Wow! I could have written this same story. My 3rd baby, 2nd VBAC was so different than my first two. For one, my labor was 5 hours. Went in by 1am and she was born by 6. No one even knew I had her. It was so peaceful. They did her bath and everything right by my side. I nursed her with no screaming toddlers or peering in-laws. It was absolutely perfect. Makes me want that fourth!!
I teared up one minute, grinned ear to ear the next, while reading this! Thanks for sharing your beautiful story of pure, sweet love!
God bless you and your family as it continues to grow!
JoAnn, Augusta, GA
What a beautiful birth story, beautiful baby, beautiful family! I’m so thrilled for you that you are adding another blessing too!! (My body quit after 2, though my heart wants 2-3 more, but I am still so genuinely happy for you with your gorgeous boys!!). God bless you!
How is LJ one already?! It seems like just yesterday that you had him! Happy Birthday LJ!
Such a sweet story! I was never with it enough in the hospital to take nice pictures like this. My Husband is not up on the picture taking. That is my one regret, the ones of your new family of 5 meeting and getting to know LJ are beautiful! I was induced with my oldest after 41 weeks. I remember vividly crying, bawling, real ugly cry in the parking lot because I was zero everything, not one change towards delivery. I was over cooked and told my husband “I am going to pregnant forever!” Everything is more intense when pregnant, over due it just plain cruel. I made up for the lateness with my other two and was 7 weeks premature with one and 2 weeks early with another. My body is all over the place. Your family is so sweet!
I can’t imagine how crazy it is to think that you get to go through that again in just 3 more months!! I love to hear other people’s birth stories….its such a crazy and miraculous experience! I hope LJ had a wonderful 1st birthday yesterday!! xoxo, D
Katie,
I love your blog so much. Your family is beautiful and so blessed. Thank you for sharing such a special birth with us. I look forward to hearing more about Bower Boy #4.
2 words castor oil:)
My first pregnancy was a week overdue and ended up being 24 hours LONG with pitocin and an epidural, so I sympathize with your long pregnancies and labor, so with my second pregnancy I gave birth just 18 months after my first was born. I was determined to NOT have an epidural with a long labor again, so of course I was late again, membranes stripped, ran a half mile at the park after the membranes were stripped, and still nothing, so I decided to take two tablespoons of castor oil in chocolate milk ( my husband also took it with me). I took it at 5 pm. My water broke just 8 hrs later at home (1 a.m.) , Labor started at 2 am and she was born JUST 3 hours later at 5 a.m. No epidural!! I was soooo glad I took the castor oil. If I could do it over again the only thing I would do differently is take only 1 tablespoon at a time instead of 2 at first. It was a little rough on my stomach, but it was worth it for a 3 hour labor and no epidural to me.
My doctor doesn’t recommend castor oil. Just wanted to give you a heads up because dude…I would try anything.
xo kb
Beautiful brothers!
You and your hubby make cute kids! Congrats!
Beautiful Story, thank you for sharing! I started to cry because a baby being born is so wonderful {and the pics were great too! } I’m excited for you that you get to do it again! xx Ashleigh
What a beautiful story! You give me hope! I’m due the first week of August with my 2nd. My first just turned 4 and after a horrific labor (think: pushing for 4.5 hours….) and being terrified.. I am ready. I am ready to try again for a peaceful delivery 🙂
Happy Birthday to your special little boy.
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing this special day. Love that it was the low key event you were hoping for. We’ll be celebrating my Ezra’s birthday on Sunday. I remember watching your Instagram feed with a lot of (good natured) jealousy because I was due on the 26th and I had NEVER gone past my due date before and was very cranky about it. Ezra was my first low key (although very long) birth. I got to hold him right away and he wasn’t out of my sight the whole time we were in the hospital. After 2 c-sections and a preterm baby in the NICU, this was so healing. I hope you somehow escape induction-ville this time around. You navigated some tricky waters with LJ. . . it would be awesome to just have smooth sailing this time around. (Really committing to the sailing metaphor here.) But however it goes down, there’ll be a sweet new Bower boy to enjoy!
So, so, so sweet! You have the most beautiful family! Happy birthday, LJ!
awwwwwwwwww
So glad things went well. Happy Birthday sweet LJ!!!
Two tear jerking posts in one week…are you trying to kill us? In all seriousness thanks for sharing. I love sweet stories and stories that remind me of my own children’s birth stories.
Hi Katie!
This was such a great story–and so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing! And gosh, you and Jer make beautiful babies!
Happy birthday, LJ! I love that you donated your cord blood! Do you think you’ll do it again with Baby Bower #4?
I already want a baby, like yesterday, this just sealed the deal!
So precious
XOXOXOX
What a lovely story! You have a beautiful family!
What an amazingly beautiful story. Total goosebumps. Thank you for sharing with us. Happy birthday LJ!
The anti climatic birth stories are the best kind!! That’s what we all pray for, right? Hoping that your next birth goes exactly the same!!
That second to last photo of your 3 boys kills me. They are perfect and handsome and just the sweetest little faces. You are a lucky, lucky mama. =)
Thank you for sharing your story, Katie! Did your hospital gown very dirty during labor? I am due in 3 weeks, and love the idea of bringing my own gown, but wonder if I will get to use it much due to it getting “labor yuck” on it? I love reading about your family of sweet boys, though I am not a home “DIY er” at all!
Beautiful story. Beautiful family——can already see a vision of four little boys hugged up on the couch. Makes me tear up!
beautiful story and family. What camera lens did you use for your hospital pics?
I’d given up on this post and gasped when I saw the title!! Thank you for sharing!!
Loved reading this! I am 38 weeks with my second and going for a VBAC with Dr. Tate. He and his team have been incredible and it has been a completely different experience this time around since switching to him!
The photo at the end of Will hugging his little bros is soooo beyond sweet. I can’t even. It is too precious for words.
How precious. Thank you for sharing. You give me so much hope for a successful vbac. My first was breech and I didn’t have enough fluid to attempt a ECV. I cried and cried, but finally came to grips that a healthy baby was what really mattered. Can’t wait to read #4’s birth story as well and happy birthday to LJ!
Oh my gosh! Only 1 year and look how much all the boys have grown in that time, it’s crazy. Such a great share with us all, thank you! You will never regret having all these lovely photos to look back on, because with your number 4 coming up, you are going to lose track of this time before you know it, you will be packing them all off for college.
So excited for you to have baby number 4!! Just wanted you to know that as far as baby number 5 goes….. and having a little sister for all those big brothers to watch over…. it is possible. My aunt did some “special things” (just google for info) and wound up having the first girl in her hubby’s family in over 100 years. Soooooooo…. it is possible to get the little mini Katie that may make that last pregnancy worth it. (Not that little boys aren’t the best…I have my own and love him to pieces).
Take care and happy birthday LJ!!!
Maureen
So beautiful! the story! katie you! your boys ! your family! everything !so beautiful! i teared up n smiled n teared up too while reading this post!
happy belated birthday to LJ !
tat gown!! beautiful too! : D
I sat here and cried like a baby! You write beautifully!
Katie, thank you for this marvelous honest story! I’ve been reading you for a while and it’s fantastic to see your family grow to so many boys (and even more to come). I live in Russia and have two boys, 3 years and 1,5 years 🙂
It’s amazing how much you have to go through immediately after the baby’s born — all the meetings, seeing the older boys, the relatives, etc. That must be pleasant, but so exhausting!
In Russia, the woman feeds the baby skin-to-skin, and then she’s left to rest until the next morning. Only then the baby’s brought to her, and she meets the relatives only 3–5 days later when she goes home with the baby (if everything goes well).
Just wanted to share this, and of course — Happy Birthday little LJ!
How interesting! It’s so different here 🙂
xo – kb
We used the 24-70mm for these.
xo – kb
I did get it dirty…but it washed right out.
xo – kb
If it’s available again, I would do it.
xo – kb
What a wonderful birth story – thank you so much for sharing it! What a fantastic idea to have a public cord bank – that is just awesome. I didn’t read the comments above, so not sure if someone already mentioned this, but have you read any about delayed cord cutting? We were looking into banking the cord and then learned about the benefits of having all that good cord stuff (technical term) have time to go into the just-born baby. The public banking is such a lovely idea as well. Good luck with #4 when it’s time!
I am 2 days past my due date with my second child and was feeling so frustrated until I read this. I am uncontrollably sobbing after reading this post. I can’t believe how lucky I am to know that I will get to experience this any day now. What a beautiful story. Happy birthday sweet LJ!
Beautiful story Katie! And I love that second to last picture with the 3 boys. LJ’s face is hysterical.
I felt the same as you when I went in to be induced for my second boy. I had a terribly long and painful labor with my first boy (almost the same age as Will!) and I was so nervous about it happening again with the second. I had to be induced due to gestational diabetes, and my dr office having a policy of not allowing GD babies to reach full term. I tried everything, except castor oil and blue cohosh, because those didn’t feel safe. Nothing. Membranes stripped 3 times. So…in I went, for my scheduled induction.
Much to my surprise, I was hooked up to pit and things progressed very well! I got pit at 10, had my water broken by the dr at 12, and was holding a baby by 2:30. It was amazing, and I feel so fortunate and blessed to have had such an easy birth experience the second time around. I hope one day you get to experience a speedy labor and delivery too. But for now we will just celebrate in God’s faithfulness for a healthy baby and momma.
Lovely just lovely and so honest. Took me (with a silly grin on my face)back to my children’s and granddaughters birth. Thank you so much for sharing the birth of your beautiful boy.
Loved reading this story. We’re currently trying to conceive no. 2 and I have major baby fever 🙂 Love reading about your boys (and of course I love on my little boy who is almost 2 years old. How is that possible??)
What a lovely story, thanks for sharing!
With my daughter, I had hoped to do delayed cord clamping but if that wasn’t possible I wanted to donate the cord blood. Unfortunately option #1 didn’t pan out, but I did get to donate and they found a recipient the next day! It was so satisfying, I hope to do it again with #2 someday.
You are almost there mama! One of my favorite things to do when I’m overdue is to go shopping…everyone asks you when your due date is and when you say “last friday”, they look at you like you might explode right there in front of them 🙂
xo – kb
Here is an article about delayed cord clamping and banking at the same time 🙂
xo – kb
I loved reading this! You are such a great writer. It makes me realize that I need to write down my son’s birth story before I forget all of the little details! Did you have Jeremy take notes or do you just remember when everything happened?
I have Jeremy take notes in the hospital and then I try to write it within the first week. It takes me longer later to put it all together for the blog because of the photos but I am always glad I did!
xo – kb
I am due with my first this summer. With three under your belt I would live a post about what you bring in your hospital bag. There are so many opinions out there