Seriously HGTV.
Seriously.
Do you seriously think that men everywhere are going to tune into HGTV to catch the new design star make some weak jokes (and as the reigning queen of poor humor, I know a weak joke when I see one) with his manly bandana and his Tony Saprano attitude?
The correct answer is no. They will not. I checked with my boyfriend. And he concurred.
First of all – if a man is interested in home decor…then he will want to watch a show that has A DESIGNER WHO HAS GOOD DESIGNS.
I know.
It’s a shocker.
And frankly, Antonio is not funny enough to make me or the male population overlook the fact that his rooms are not visually pleasing. If a person wants to listen to funny jokes – they have a network for that…it’s called Comedy Central.
But before we go into a long debate over who makes the better television host – let’s first look at the basics. Let’s look at the designs of the final two contestants – here’s Antonio, the semi-funny tatted Italian:
and Dan, the budget blaming Dimpleton.
In their final challenge, they needed to redo an entire home (aka a kitchen, living room, and two bedrooms). 44 hours and $50,000 later, they went head-to-head to host and present the two families with their new homes. In order for you to follow my design logic, I decided to award a winner of each matchup with a Bower Power star…given by yours truly (in my phabulous designery name – KayBowWow).
So let’s look at those rooms, shall we??
First up to bat is the kitchen battle. Dan’s kitchen was great with the dark cabinetry, the hidden washer & dryer area and the stainless steel appliances. Where he lost me was the combination of the creamy bamboo tile backsplash/tile floor and the grey marble countertops. The color of the backsplash went well with the floor choice but then the countertops seemed like the odd man out. Torie can’t be blamed for this one, Dan. ouch.
Antonio scored one here (yay Antonio – now go kiss a female cheerleader!) with his creamy white cabinetry and his dark countertops. But wait, what?! That was the homeowner’s suggestion. Oh yeah. But he still pulls the KayBowWow star with the beadboard backsplash that he thankfully changed from ‘my little pony’ purple to that refreshing slate blue color. Point – Antonio.
Moving onto the bedroom. Dan had some nice moves with his choice of storage-galore headboard and his gender neutral bedding (just in case the recent divorcee finds another man who likes lilac). And his homeowner still has the ability to sleep and remain sane from the color palatte that is oh-so-easy. Antonio’s color scheme however does not make me green with envy. In fact, I didn’t really like his design concept at all. Moving the bathroom door was a bold move and I give him props on that daring venture…but really Antonio – why move the ugly door only to put three measly frames on that wall. Do you really need a post on framing collages? Because I would be willing to show you gallery walls if you ask nicely 🙂 Point – Dan.
Ready for the Living room showdown? Well, this one is more of a draw in my book. And I do believe that I am being greatly generous to Antonio. Good job on getting those walls moved around – it really did help. But I can’t help but wonder if that fireplace ‘cabinet’ is allowing clearance for the heat that is sure to come from burning logs. And although I liked his choice of dining pendant light – I wonder about his use of space and color choice. In short…I would never choose Antonio’s room. It ain’t my style. Speaking of style – I actually prefer Dan’s living room. His use of mirrors over the fireplace is oh-so-Candice and I was clapping my leg when I saw that he took those curtain rods and hung them high and wide. Thanks to the drapery gods. My only qualm is that he left the fireplace surround untouched. Would applying some glass tile be that hard? The jury says no. It would not.
The final nail in Antonio’s design coffin is the kid’s room. Sweet Jesus forgive this man – he know’s not what he did. Just look at all that seating. Need I say more? Let’s move onto Dan before I start laughing. Dan’s bedroom is almost perfect for a 15 year old girl who is looking to be a little more sophisticated. My only real issue is that art. Have we heard of scale? Obviously not. Those little frames above the bed are kinda ridiculous and just look like wall clutter. What’s wrong with one big pendant over the bed with some larger frames that she can add photos of her latest crush? Nothing…that’s what. Especially since her crush will start with “E” and end with “dward Cullen”. So boy’s, the verdict is clear on this one – KayBowWow gives Dan the big blue star.
The tally is in – Dan 3, Antonio 2.
So where did Candice, Vern, and Genevieve go wrong?
Well, my friends – it is really simple. They believe something erronously. They think people actually watch their show to listen to them. Am I alone when I say – not a fat chance ? Here’s my confession – I DVR you guys and then fast forward anytime you go to talk. Don’t worry – I apologize everytime.
Listen up HGTV – we watch your shows for the GOOD IDEAS & GREAT DESIGN. And may I suggest that you start a new show for those ‘sparkling personalities’ – it can be HGTV’s Next Host Star. And leave Design Star to, well, the designers.
Rant over. Peace out.
Love, KayBowWow
Great post-I love it! I feel the same way you do and wrote a post 2 weeks ago about it. Unfortunately I missed the finale and last weeks as well. Thanks for reminding me that I didn’t really miss out on anything!
I totally agree! They most likely picked him just because he is different. But I don’t think I’ll be tuning in to see his (in my opinion) slightly crazy & over-the-top design – just not my style. I’ll be interested to see what happens to his show – after all, what happened to Jennifer from last season? One special and then she’s done? And I have not been impressed by Kim Myles’ show, even though I loved her on Design Star.
I love your post here. I wasn’t really that impressed with any of them. I dont think I’ll watch antonio. But i most certainly wouldnt watch dan. I thought he was borderline annoying, especially after the 10,000 pergola. i was mad that they sent Lonni. I liked her last room the best. You know vern really like dan (i wonder why) and the girls like antonio (i wonder why). Looks like vern was just outnumbered. The women always win. Clearly it had nothing to do with design either way. And I thought this year wasn’t supposed to be a personality contest. I wonder what would have happened if america voted.
Completely agree – not an Antonio fan. But I knew he’d win. The judges couldn’t keep their hands out of his pants.
I’m glad I missed the finale, because I can’t image enjoying near as much as this post…HI-larious!!!!
Now that you have listed it all out I totally and completely agree. Design star hosts totally got me on the whole…Antonio is dif, we haven’t had a host like this, he’s a designer crap. But you are right, Dan is the one that had the better designs.
speaking of designs…I am no designer, but I took some of your mudroom inspiration and tried my hand at it. what do yout think?
http://designa-peele.blogspot.com/2009/09/new-look-for-mudroom.html
I sooo agree with you. I can’t stand Dan’s personality but his designs beat Antonio’s. The baby’s room looks so silly with the teenie tiny bed in the corner and the too-small rug. I didn’t like the monstrosity over the fireplace, either. I’d watch Antonio’s show purely for his hosting, but I sure as heck hope his designs improve cuz if not I’ll change the channel to DIY Network in a heartbeat.
Overall this was an unimpressive cast of designers (see my post on Jason’s girl’s bedroom here: http://journeychic.com/2009/09/03/design-star-a-room-unfit-for-a-princess/).
Amen!
The only people on HGTV that don’t totally annoy me are Clive, Lisa Laporta and Monica Pedersen. All others need to zip it and just show the goods. Oh, and I’d definitely let Scott McGillivray into my ‘Income Property’!
Amen!
I totally agree! at this house. Although they both had their ups and downs throughout the seasons. I do think that women (the main audience for HGTV) don’t want a tough tatooed Tony Soprano look-a-like telling them how to decorate their house. I will probably never watch Antonio’s show.
I agree, but I knew that this would happen– HGTV was trying to find someone ‘different.’ I think that Dan was just too much like the season 1 winner. Maybe Antonio will a better designer when he has the producers telling him what to do on his new show :).
I agree that Dan should have won. It was so obvious the judges favored Antonio towards the end. And thanks for sharing a few pictures. My power went out during Dan’s reveal, so I am so thankful!
I totally agree! I couldn’t believe Antonio won. I don’t even like his personality much less his design sense. Dan should have won because he stood out a lot more to me and he’s likeable enough. Thank you for not making me feel like the only one disagreeing with the judges!
I could not agree more! I might also watch your show if you are easy on the eyes…another point for Dan! 🙂
The thing is, Dan designs like 90% of the other designers on the channel. And while he may have looks (to some–he looks too baby/girly for me), Antonio has a personality. And while one may not watch the show to hear the designer talk, the personality of the person sets the tone for the show. I will not deny that Dan has more polished looks, but overall, I’m really rooting that Antonio is going to rock it.
I think Antonio won because he is “different” from other designers on HGTV. Dan reminds me of David Bromstadt (not in desing talent, but in looks and demeanor).
I agree that Dan’s designs are much better than Antonio’s for sure. However, Dan reminded me of the other Design Star, David Bromstad. Maybe HGTV execs thought the same thing?
I completely agree with you!!! I think that Antonio may have made SOME good choices in front of the designers, but will he keep coming with those new and fresh ideas? And when he was shopping on the finale, he seemed to just be winging it with accessories, with no plan in mind.
I think that Dan would have been the better overall choice because he knows how to deliver what a client would want while still giving them a little more.
Im gonna have to disagree with you on this one…
Dan and Antonio were my picks from the beginning. I like both of them equally.
But, Im glad Antonio won, and I think the judges picked the right person!
Dan is just like e.v.e.r.y other designer on HGTV… its time for something different, and that something different is Antonio.
Hi There Amy –
Actually Dan & Antonio were my top two from the get go too! They seemed like the only two contestants who were able to operate a miter saw in under an hour! And YOU ARE SO RIGHT! Dan (coughDavidBromstadcough) is REALLY like every other HGTV designer. But my point is that the winner of Design Star should be an actually good designer. And even though I would probably not watch either of their shows – I think that the winner should be based on good design rather than good personality. Just my personal opinion. Maybe we should all get behind Layla Palmer of The Lettered Cottage and see if we can get a blogger in the winner circle 🙂
XO – Katie the Judgy Judge-o-matic
You nailed it. A little fist bump coming your way, girl!
Next up….let’s see a rant about Kanye West.
This post is too funny and so true! I will be interested to see what kind of “design” show Antonio comes up with. And, to help answer Beth’s question about last season’s winner, check out this post:
http://apaigeinhistory.blogspot.com/2009/09/24-for-winston.html
My husband says he will probably watch the show. He really liked Antonio. I’m sort of torn, I liked Dan’s designs a lot, but Antonio had some good stuff too that was different then everyone else. I don’t think you really know until he starts his own show and has a chance to really show his stuff. These shows are SO time pressed and have so many restraints, they don’t exactly allow you to just see everyone’s own ideas.
A bit late to the comment fest, but I have to disagree with you Katie. Whilst I agree that Dan’s rooms in the final challenge were more appealing, overall he is just Designer 101. Antonio brings something fresh to design, and although I didn’t particularly care for his living room or bedroom makeover, at least it was something different – not something you’d see in every design magazine.
I agree with you. I personally think you are a much better designer than both of them. AND you are funny! In fact, Vern Genevieve and Candice could definitely pick a better designer from my list of favorite bloggies (you, YHL, Lettered Cottage, etc)!
wow so totally agree with you! i almost stopped watching when Lonni was sent home. and really both Dan and Antonio commited MAJOR mistakes that would have cost them jobs in the real world… or sent them back to apprentice level.
i am still shocked that Dan and Antonio were allowed to advance – even tho Dan to me had the most camera ready personality of all the designers.
i really wonder how much of it dependds on what kind of DS they want in their schedule.
a huge fan of candice before this my respect went down a bit after watching this series (for the first time).
I’m not much of a commenter, but I HAD to chime in on this one. Antonio = Awful! His “schtick” is going to get so old so fast. His living room was ADD (no offense to anyone out there) and his kids room was so tacky and obvious. I love how he pictured the mom perched on a little foot stool reading to her son…that’ll last about two pages into a book…
Katie, you’re the best but you totally just SPOILED it for me. I haven’t watched the last episode yet! 😉
I really liked Torie, wish they didn’t send her home… 🙁
Oops! So sorry Lindsay – I figured it was plastered all over HGTV now (with the much-advertised ‘Antonio Project’) so I didn’t think it would be a spoiler. Consider my wrist officially slapped 🙂
XO – Katie
I think both of them were sort of meh. I definitely preferred Dan’s house if I were going to pick a place to live but I wouldn’t buy either of these houses. Dan’s house is nicer to look at but very bland..nothing innovative. Antonio tried to do a few daring things like the fireplace cabinet but the result was ugly. Can’t they cancel both of their shows and give it to someone we can learn from?
I totally agree!!! I have been rooting for Dan all along. Just not a fan of Antonio. At all.
Having to choose between two very okey dokey options, I totally agree with you! I wasn’t overly impressed with either guy but I think Dan is the better designer, hands down. And Antonio is a little abrasive for my tastes. Ohhhh, HGTV…this season was not a success…
Thank you! I am glad I am not alone. I like
a HGTV design star who can explain why they
make choices, not just say it just comes to me.
Being artsy deficient I need someone who can
point out “I repeated this pattern because…”.
I just don’t get that from Antionio, and I do
not care how cool he is, my Husband will never
watch. I think they should go back to the voting
format, since if we are watching design star we
will probably watch the show.
I love this post and I was thinking some of the same things! You really caught my attention when you mentioned my “vampire crush” Edward Cullens. I not long ago saw the movie and girl…..!!! (Sorry back to the post) I would have liked to see more of Dan, but we will see what Antonio is working with!
I totally agree, Katie.
I was so mad when they sent Lonni home–I think it was just to increase Antonio’s chances of winning! She was clearly the best “host.” Antonio has some good ideas, but he does not have a good sense of scale or furniture placement.
LOVE IT. On Monday when I saw your post I had to stay far away from your blog. I too DVR the show (and FF through their talking). I didn’t get time to watch until last night and so now I know…and am VERY shocked! Couldn’t believe it! I think they picked hime because he is different and thats about it. And maybe Gen had a HUGE boy-toy crush on the man?! 🙂 I loved Dan, and he was sincere! I feel like Big A tried a little too hard to be so different, DS dropped the ball on this one, countodwn til next season! And to see if Antonio is still around!
I sooo agree. Dan was my man — not because he was cute, because he was GOOD. I knew he wouldn’t win because I’m thinking this was the plan from the beginning. People kept saying he wouldn’t win because he was the next David — I say he would have been the next Candice. I loved his work SO much. He won the online show and I bet he’ll have his own show eventually. 😉
I love Antonio! im sorry but i really do. I think dan was great also but he is just like David from season one..we would have color splash all over again. My boyfriend is very much a handyman and he loves Antonio style, he will watch his show. He is different..true…but thats not a bad thing,
I absolutely love how you broke it all down. This was a great design star!!
Karen
Personally, I think that HGTV has gone a little loopy, with the whole DS thing. At least this season I didn’t have to watch the seperate oh-so-staged-announce-the-winner show! I thought Dan had it…but I was wrong, dang it. However, I watch the “Antonio Project”….and although I liked NOTHING beyond the clean slate he created for himself…I liked that they cleaned Antonio up! On DS I thought he looked a little frumpy, messy, and dare I say, a little tubby. In the AP, he has obviously been working out, gotten a decent haircut, and discovered that they do make a t-shirt for tall men…but alas, I still wish Danny-boy had gotten it.
P.S. My husband said he would totally watch Antonio’s show, but he has no real design taste, so he doesn’t count. 🙂
I like your blog, BTW 🙂
Weird! I was searching for other blogs about poverty and humor and somehow ran across yours. Anyhoo….it’s cool!
Thanks!