“Eleven days overdue.” I politely answered the lady behind the checkout counter. Her face couldn’t hide her true reaction to the news.
“Whoa.” She gasped. “You really know how to cook em, huh?!”
“You could say that. I tend to burn things.” I forced a smile. I tried to keep it light when really inside it ached. I just wanted to cry. Curl up in Jeremy’s arms, around Will and cry. I finished swiping the card and punched in my pin while wondering what the statistics were on the second pregnancy lasting longer than the first. I never thought that I would be there in the checkout lane at Lowe’s…buying a few last minute project supplies instead of being in the hospital or even home, healed and holding my new little guy. It all seemed so sereal.
I had done everything I could think of to kickstart labor on its own. I followed the doctor’s every instruction. I ate spicy food. I went for long walks up and down hills. I dehydrated myself. I did hundreds of jumping jacks. I ran. Jeremy was sick of me throwing myself at him. It was exhausting. I was exhausted. We all were.
All I could think of was that maybe there was that ultra slim possibility that this could be the rest of my time here with my boys. Maybe I could be that statistic…the one that’s too scary to consider…the one that leaves a husband without a wife and a baby without a mother. Maybe this was it. And all I could think of was how ridiculous I was being…and to be prepared anyway…to say what I needed to say and do what I needed to do. I needed to make sure that my boys knew how much I love them…to let them know that I am proud of them and that I lived the best possible life because they were in it.
I reached the door handle on the car and realized that I had tears running down my face. The crying came. Not for me. Not out of frustration. Not out of the unknown…but from the knowing. I lifted Will up to look at him through my watery eyes knowing exactly what kind of gift he was. He looked back at me. Staring at my face with his big brown eyes.
“Mommy sad?” his scratchy little voice asked.
I looked at him harder. I forced myself to smile. I clutched his skinny two year old body and breathed in his smell one more time, studied his every eyelash, memorized the tiniest freckles that were spread across his cheeks.
“Mommy have booboo?”
He wouldn’t understand why a person would ever cry out of feeling the weight of their blessings. I went with the quickest answer I could muster…
“Mommy’s a little scared.”
And I was. Not because of the possibility of being separated from him. Not because I could pass and he would probably never remember me except for the vast number of photos I left for him on my hard drive. My fear was so different now. I feared that I didn’t express my gratitude enough to the people I would leave behind. that I didn’t say I love you enough. that I didn’t forgive, didn’t let go, didn’t give in, didn’t stop, pause, breathe, and soak it all in enough. My heart was bursting with all that I had….and realizing that if childbirth was when my time came to an end, well, I was given a little extra time to revel in all my life’s extras.
That night I sat on the floor in Will’s room and watched his little body rise and fall with his sleep. He often woke at night with nightmares and this night was no different. His little head would toss back and forth, whimpering, calling out. I just was there to soothe him a little faster. I was already kissing his forehead when he started saying “I need kisses”. I was able to hold his hand as he struggled back to sleep. My head rested next to his, breathing in his lavender lotion smell, listening to his ever-so-soft snores. My life was so full. I let myself think back to the time of wanting. the time of waiting. the time even before that.
Jeremy had made it very clear that he didn’t mind if we got pregnant right away after welcoming Will into our lives. We hadn’t prevented baby number two but God must have known that I couldn’t have handled it. Will was a terrible sleeper and nursing was a dreadful experience for me for so long. Adding a pregnancy to the mix would have been much harder. And then came the day when Will was a good walker…when we had a ten second conversation about how we probably should ‘really try’ now that Will didn’t need to be held constantly and it hadn’t happened by itself yet…Jeremy smiled, I smiled…it was flirty and fun to think about. Then came the trying. the months and months of trying. Looking back, I didn’t realize how much I talked about it. I talked about it constantly. I didn’t care if it was awkward for people or too-much-information for strangers…it was on my mind all the time…so I talked about it all the time. Transparency is pretty easy for me…and I wanted a baby…
Morning came and I woke with butterflies. Today is the big day…induction day. I knew two things…I could trust my doctor and I was tired. I could feel the tiredness in my bones. I could muster the strength for manual labor but the strength for childbirth was something entirely different. I remembered how I would need to be able to fully relax…to let my body do all the work while I forced it into a place of calm. Somehow I just could feel it needed a boost.
“Jeremy, I just know that my batteries are dead and I need a jolt”, my voice didn’t waver as I talked about the induction. “I mean, technically speaking, I was deemed “failure to progress” with Will and this time feels so different. The baby hasn’t really dropped, I’m not waddling, the contractions are intense but then completely go away…and the doctor said on Thursday that I was at 2 cm. That’s it. TWO.”
He looked up at me and smiled.
“I just know that I need this…” my confidence was odd for a girl that dreaded the idea of induction. I forced myself to focus on the fact that this was gonna be best. Induction was better than Caesaran. I clung to that. I held it like a life raft with all my might.
Our bags were packed, the outfit was ironed for Will to wear when he would come meet his brother, I kissed my mom and thanked her for being willing to watch him while I handed her the ‘Will Info Cheat Sheets’ I wrote out for her, I prayed yet again with Jeremy and checked the mirror to see if I looked ok. At least I was having a good hair day…it must be a sign I joked with myself internally. Good hair days are always good birthdays.
The hospital was quite a drive so we set out, picking up a chicken sandwich on the way. It was so calm. Calm like a morning at the beach. We filled the time with casual conversation. We talked about the name and if either of us ever thought it would be like this. Calm and quiet and slow. We parked the car and started walking in. I picked up the pace knowing that if I pushed just a little harder then I would have those laboring aches. The contractions were comforting in a weird sortof way….they made me feel like I was ready. Like the baby was ready. ‘Geesh, he better be ready’ I thought to myself…twelve days overdue…he better be ready….
We got to the desk to check in and started filling out all the paperwork.
“Do you have a restroom?” I started to feel that large lemonade I just drank in the car.
I walked past the waiting room and into the spacious restroom. It smelled like a hospital. I shut the stall door and thought about how swollen my ankles looked in my shoes. Maybe they won’t take as long to un-swell this time I thought as I flushed and pulled up the last pair of pants that fit my oversized waistline. I walked over to the sink and started to wash my hands. Yup…my hair still looked good. I couldn’t believe it. I was gonna have the baby. The day was here…I am not leaving this hospital until this baby is born. I smiled at myself. I would have another son. I reached over to grab a towel, and all of a sudden, I felt a warm gush of fluid.
“Are you kidding me!?” I said aloud and looked down at my pants.
Wow, what a great story! Thank you for sharing with us. 12 days overdue must have been so stressful! Congratulations and God bless you and your beautiful family!
Way to have me bawling already… can’t wait for the next parts!
This post made me smile, tear up, and laugh like only you can, Katie Bower. Only you would have your water break in the hospital preparing to be induced. You’re amazing 🙂
Congratulations again on your beautiful family. And thank you for always reminding us of what is important in life (family, friends, love and of course, bacon).
Ahhhhhh! Cliffhanger!! I love it. I just finished catching up with Will’s birth story and I I can’t wait to read the rest of sweet Weston’s story.
Beautifully written Katie. And now I’m tearing up…right before bed. Goodnight, please finish the story soon….!
You are such a great storyteller! Thanks for sharing. 🙂 Can’t wait for part 2!
Wow. I can’t wait to read the rest of the story! Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful! I just hope that when my time comes (o have a baby that is) I can write about it so simply and beautifully and honestly! Looking forward to Part II
ur inspiring me to write my birth story down 🙂
cant wait for what comes next!
You are such a good writer.
I totally feel you on the fear of your little one not remembering you. For me, this was a crushing fear. I remember telling my husband very specific things I wanted him to tell our daughter if needed. I wanted to make sure that he knew that when I cuddled with her as I tucked her in at bedtime, I hummed a certain song to her — things like that. I thought that giving him these little pieces of me to pass on to her would unlock the puzzle of who I was and how much I loved her someday… if need be. Now my daughter is 4 1/2 and I can breathe a little easier knowing that she would remember me. Maybe not in detail, but she’d remember me, the feeling of having me, the feeling of knowing she was truly loved by me. At the same time, that breaks my heart a bit too because now I know that if she lost me, it would hurt her sweet little heart.
Sigh. Being a mom makes you hurt with worry sometimes and I have a feeling that never goes away — the worry just changes.
Thank you for posting your birth story! I look forward to reading the rest.
Way to leave us hanging.. LOL
Lovely story so far! I’m now 4 days overdue and I can relate to the frustration of wanting my baby here in my arms now. Wondering if something is wrong or will go wrong if I have to be induced. Have to leave it up to God And have complete trust in his plan for us.
Looking forward to reading the rest of your story!
So exciting – I can’t wait for the next installment. I have my own (now very big) 41 weeks plus five days boy. Watch out; IME they are very stubborn :o).
I have tears streaming down my face! Beautifully written – you express yourself so wonderfully Katie. I can’t wait to read more. Your boys are so lucky to be able to one day read their stories, what a gift.
Tearing up at work in the morning…good work 😉 What a beautiful story. I can’t wait to hear the rest of it. You’re so wonderfully honest – it’s refreshing, heartwarming, and fills me with love for you and your family xo
So beautiful! Your an amazing writer.
Must. Read. MORE! I can’t wait for part 2…at the edge of my seat!!
When are you due. Those words really do get annoying. Great post! Can’t wait to hear the rest! I love how other mothers love to talk about their births with each other! I feel sorry for people that sit close to visiting mom’s at restaurants! LOL
Looking forward to the next part …
Beautifully written. I could feel the emotion … not often does a post have me laugh and tear up in the same one.
Wow. What an awesomely amazing, and beautiful way to start my day. You are incredible, Katie Bower!
What a great beginning! I can’t wait to read the rest — I feel like I’ve been waiting for this since the day I saw Weston for the first time on Instagram 🙂 Thanks for being so honest and humbling. My husband and I are in the waiting, trying, frustrating time right now. I can only imagine the joy you felt!
so you had me in tears and then again in tears at the last paragraph 🙂 that would happen to you! I’m due in April (with a boy!) can’t wait to hear the rest of the birth story!
Omigosh you’re kidding!! Your waters broke naturally on induction day??? Eeeek
Gahhhhh!!! I can’t wait for Part 2!! I’m 36 weeks today and this is my 5th pregnancy, 6th child (my husband has 3, so together we have 9!!). I am not as young as I used to be, that’s for sure. This pregnancy has taken its toll on my body and I keep worrying that I will be 12 days overdue also. I just want you to know how much your blog has kept me sane these past few weeks. Thank you for all that you do Katie…even though you can’t see it.
xoxo- April
Beautiful story! You have such a way with words. Whenever I read your blog I always feel like you are an old friend telling me a story over a shared basket of french fries. Keep them coming! Next time I’ll order the shake. :0)
You are such a wonderful writer. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story. When I was one week away from my due date my blood pressure skyrocketed and the doctor sent me to the hospital for an induction. I was terrified! Since it was so late in the day they admitted me and said they’d start the induction in the morning (weird, but whatever). The next morning the nurse woke me at 5:30, told me to go use the bathroom and do whatever I needed to do before we got started. So, I got up, used the bathroom, brushed my teeth and hair, and made my way back to the bed. And halfway between the bathroom and the bed my water broke. No induction needed. 🙂 God works in mysterious ways.
Katie, I just love this post–it made me all teary! I love the perspective you have on this and how transparent you are in your writing. I can’t wait to read the rest of the birth story!
Nicely written. I experienced the water breakage and the pants… such a strange sensation! Can’t wait to read the rest.
Oh my goodness, that is awesome. I just burst out laughing…can’t wait to hear the rest!
It’s beautiful! I love hearing about you and your family!
Perfect timing, I’m 38 weeks pregnant and will be attempting a VBAC with Dr. Tate. I’ve been patiently waiting for your birth story.
Katie, Thank you for sharing and congratulations!! I completely had those same thoughts, but they came after my son was born. My hormones were crazy, and I was getting really frustrated with not sleeping and learning patients with being a new mom. I remember feeling slightly jealous that my husband could go to work. Finally, one night, I was able to see through the hormones and realize some of these little moments won’t last forever. Not only that, but what if something was to happen to me tomorrow and how could I possibly be fighting with such precious moments. I remember having similar tears that night and also watching my little guy sleep for a while.
I wish you and your new family the best and God bless!
My water broke when I got to the hospital on induction day, too!
What a beautiful and dramatic way to begin the story. Can’t wait for the rest!
Katie please write a book my dear. Your way with words is amazing and you left me wanting more. Can’t wait to read the next installment.
Oh my gosh! What an amazing story so far. I can’t wait to read the rest about Weston’s story. Making me cry already this morning!
I can’t wait to read the rest! I loved reading Will’s birth story, and I’m so glad you’re sharing Weston’s! 🙂
You are an excellent writer! And a tease. At least we (sort of) know how the story ends (begins?)–Weston is beautiful.
Great story! I can’t wait to hear the rest. Even though I followed along through instagram I love reading it from your perspective!
So beautifully written. I can’t wait for Part II!
Oh wow! At least it broke at the hospital where they have people to clean the bathrooms and not on your carpet at home. 🙂 I was induced with my son and have to say it was the best way to have a baby….but I opted for the drugs too. 🙂 I love the sentence about the drive to the hospital and how it was as calm as a morning at the beach. I could handle waking up everyday at the beach. Can’t wait to hear more!
your story telling is heartwarming. I’m already so in love with your process and cannot wait to read the rest!
Congratulations you strong strong mama!
I always love your writing, but I’ve never read anything like this from you before! This was beautiful! Thanks for sharing…can’t wait for part II.
ahh I want more! That was a good read with my coffee and avoiding work this morning!
A CLIFFHANGER?????
So not fair.
You tell a heck of a story, can’t wait to read the rest! I love love love your blog!
My daughter was born this past September and I was also many days overdue and I actually thought it was fun when people asked me when I was due…..and I would answer “last week”.
Love the story so far 🙂
More, please!!!! I hate cliffhangers, LOL!!! You are a great writer!!
I just love the way you write! I can’t wait to read the next addition!
This is beautiful… I can’t wait to hear the rest!
you calm me katie. i wish i could hang with you in person.
Although my own pregnancy hormones have me tearing up at the drop of a hat, your story has me crying. Thank you for sharing.
Wait, you thought you were going to die from being overdue?????
AH!! MORE! Can’t wait to read more!!!!
Ahhhh you are such a good writer! I’m dying to hear the rest and I feel overwhelmed with happiness for you! This post really made me think – thank you for encouraging me to stop and soak in my kids a little more. I know the pain of losing one of them and still sometimes I let life get too fast. Can’t wait to read the rest of the story!!
On the edge of my seat for part two! I’m not a mother yet but reading your posts about the way you feel about the W’s and Jeremy makes me even more eager to become a mother and strive to be a better wife!
You are a great writer, Katie. My eyes were glued. Thank you for sharing and I can’t wait to read the rest! xo C
Katie, you are such an engaging writer. What a gorgeous story so far… I can’t wait to read the rest. The paragraph that begins “And I was….” — just amazing how you put that feeling into words.
So glad that you are sharing this already. I am considering a vbac in August but am pretty scared. I was thinking the other day that, if I could just hear about your experience, I might find a little more courage.
Also, this happened to a girlfriend of mine. Her water broke AS she was walking out her door to be induced at the hospital.
Love it! I can’t wait to read more! Congrats again!
You’re such a great storyteller!! Ahh I love the suspense!!
Shannon
Shannon Loves Design
Fabulously Vintage
I was one of the many who was constantly checking for the Instagram updates Jeremy was posting leading up to Weston’s birth – I still crack up when I think of him standing ready to “catch” the baby 🙂 I felt thankful that you guys allowed all of us to be right there with you during such a special time. And now we have the bonus of getting Weston’s birth story – woohoo!
I love your writing style, I feel like we’re just sitting together and talking about this. It also makes me teary – I had to stop reading at one point because I try to not cry at work. But that fear you talked about, oh that is such a hard spot for me. I had that with my second, especially because I was another c-section. I held it together until they wouldn’t let my husband in the OR when I got my spinal.
“Maybe I could be that statistic…the one that’s too scary to consider…the one that leaves a husband without a wife and a baby without a mother.”
– This was my exact thought leading up to induction day; that we struggled to get pregnant, I struggled my entire pregnancy and, after everything, what if my husband was left alone with our baby girl and no wife? We even had the talk about him remembering me but moving on.
And then, while in the shower, my water broke.
Can’t wait to hear the rest of your story!!
I’ve been waiting for this story!!! Can’t wait to hear the rest!
You are such a talented writer! I can’t wait for the rest of Weston’s birth story 🙂
Oh my goodness, I am in tears over here. You are a fantastic writer and your story is so touching. Thank you for sharing. Can’t wait for part two…
Such a lovely start to Weston’s birthday story! Your calm, peace and genuine awareness of your blessed life right be fore welcoming your new son into your world, is so so so lovely. Those kinds of moments are what life is truly about. Thanks for sharing! Can’t wait to read the rest.
Loved reading this. I am excited for Part Two!!
Talk about taking me back. My first was 10 days overdue and I went in for an induction. I took two steps out of the bathroom after changing into my gown and my waters broke right there on the floor of my room. The nurses said that had never happened to them before. My son came 11 hours later. Oh, and I had inductions scheduled for both of my girls. Both times, my waters broke while I was lying in bed (36 hrs before the induction for my middle child, 9 hrs before the induction for my youngest). My kids still don’t like being told what to do. They were going to choose their birthday, not me.
Can’t wait to read Part Two!
I can’t wait to read the next part! I also wonder what the statistic for overdue 2nd children is. I was my mother’s 2nd child and was born 14 days late and she needed to be induced. I wonder how long it would have been if they hadn’t induced. I’ve also heard that the doctor’s due date predictions aren’t always perfect. So maybe your little guy and myself weren’t born as overdue as everyone thought.
Loved this! You are such an amazing storyteller Katie B! Will there be a Part 2?
Oops, just realized it was titled Part 1. Yay!
Can’t wait to read part 2. Thanks for sharing so much about your family. We love it!!!
Have I ever told you how much I LOVE the way you write…and I LOOOVE when you share personal stories. I can’t WAIT to read the second part.
LOVED this!! Please hurry with the rest of post!!!
In. Tears.
I love your honesty, and can’t wait to read more. So happy for you, and your family of four.
An amazing story. Especially knowing there is an amazing ending. But I have to take a moment to say how wonderfully this touching story is written.
Not even married yet but this made my clock start to tick very loudly. I’m also very transparent in wanting a family and I already know it’s going to be a struggle from what my doctors have told me. I’m almost 30 and I have PCOS. Motherhood is a beautiful and scary thing but it’s definitely something I want to experience. Thanks for sharing your story.
So well-written, Katie! Exciting, nerve-wracking, scary, emotional, suspenseful…
Thank you for sharing the first part of your story. Looking forward to the second part!
Eeeeeee! I can’t wait for part II!
I went 14 days past my due date so, I. know. your. frustration. Every single day that passed felt like a week. So I felt like I was 54 weeks pregnant by the time I finally delivered. People kept asking cheerfully “ohhhh! when are you due?!” And I say “about 2 weeks ago” … they didn’t know how to respond. I would run up the stairs instead of taking the elevator in hopes of a high blood pressure reading at my doctor’s appointments just so they would consider inducing me earlier. But our lil dude was born at exactly 42 weeks by c-section after 43 hours of being in the hospital waiting for him to come out. It wasn’t easy and the first couple of months after he was born were HARD, but he’s about to turn 1 (on the 29th) and he was worth every single second of waiting.
I followed along through instagram the day he was born, hitting refresh every two seconds like a maniac, so it’s fun to hear the story behind the pictures. Can’t wait to read more!
CLIFF HANGER!!! your good.. can’t wait for the rest 😉
You are an amazing writer Katie. I can feel your emotions through your works. I can’t wait to read the rest.
Please post the next part soon! I’m dying to hear the rest!!!
I can’t wait for part two! Yesterday was my due date with our forth little one. I’m in that place of snuggling my three little boys while awaiting our new babies arrival. It’s a very bitter sweet place to be. Grateful for the ones you’ve been given, yet anxiously awaiting to the newest.
And what are the odds your water breaks in he hospital bathroom?! Crazy! And exciting knowing that WAS to be the day!
Kaite, just amazing. This has been amazing to read..you write SOOO well!!! I love your blog and reading your posts…heck I don’t even wait for bloglovin’ to advise me of your new posts….I type in bowerpowerblog everyday…maybe a few times a day. 🙂
…I sound like a stalker: I am not…..just love your blog and keeping up with you and your gorgeous Family.
Can’t wait to read more.
Hi Katie, I’m a long time admirer of your blog. You have made me laugh, cry, gasp, snort milk through my nose, incited bacon cravings, and made me wish I was your neighbor because it would be so darn fun to know you (and, what warm-blooded girl wouldn’t want to watch Jeremy knock around the yard in his Levi’s? Apologies to my own hunky husband 🙂 But what I really wanted to say is, your writing gift pinnacled with this post. Your writing chops aren’t always evident (your incredible photos so eloquently speak for themselves) although your humor, fears, loves, and love for your life are always evident. But in this post we get it all. You hit the mark perfectly, and maybe because it is the perfect story, but I think this is where you truly shine – in the scary space between truth and beauty where not everyone can reside so gracefully. I read it through three times because it evoked such emotion. Well done, blogger extraordinnaire. Well done.
Caaaan’t wait for more!!
Katie, I’m sitting her at 10 days “overdue” and trying to hold back tears. Its comforting to know others (you!) have felt the same way as I do (though…I’m not fearing death in childbirth at this point…). I’m planning a homebirth so pitocin induction isn’t on the agenda , right now its a ton of waiting on baby to be ready and me feeling hopeless that my contractions never stay. However, all my previous babies have needed a boost (my body is totally one of those batteries that needs a start!) so I’m thinking this one will be no different.
Looking forward to reading more of your story! I love a good birth story 🙂
I can’t believe you stopped it her:) I can’t wait to read the rest. So exciting
I can’t wait to read more. You do a great job sharing a story.
La in TX
More more, you stinkin tease. LOL. I love reading your stories. Your writing is amazing.
I totally teared up becuase I went to a funeral 2 days ago for a woman that left behind 3 small kids under the age of 10. She was such an amazing person and a wonderful writer. She would have loved this story:-)
What a beautiful story! You had me in tears thinking about my own hubby and two little boys, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the end thinking that with God’s timing in situations like this, He just has to have a great sense of humor. Thanks for sharing!
This couldn’t come at a better time for me – I have 12 more days until my EDD and I am so looking forward to part 2! Thank you for your willingness to share this beautiful story. I so appreciate you (and the story!)
You had me in tears reading this….childbirth is an unexplainable experieince….but you know exactly how to put it into words! Broke my heart hearing about all the fears you had leading up to Westons birth….
I look forward to reading part 2….and i still remember induction day and how i stalked you on instagram as if we were BFFs :)…i like to pretend;)
I love this! Can’t wait to hear the rest 🙂
Goodness, you’re such a good writer! I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the story.
Wow, reading your story is like déjà vu! It could very well be mine with a few changes. My second little guy was 3 weeks late…I was huge! I never really dropped and for some reason that meant they could not induce. My water finally broke the night I told my husband he could go out with his buddies and when I called to let him know they told him to get home because our pipes had broke..he knew what they meant. Even after that my labor wouldn’t start long story short they decided eventually that the baby was too big and he was born by c-section. He was 10# and 221/2 inches. 3 lbs heavier and 3 inches longer than my first. Funny thing my son has always had a stubborn streak!
Ahhhh I can’t wait to read the rest!!
Love love love how you can relive this time in your writing. Makes me feel like I’m there too. Such a great writer. Can’t wait to read more. xoxoxo
Love it. I totally teared up at the end 🙂 Both of my labors started with my water breaking 🙂
That’s what i was thinking
I remember writing a letter to my 2 year old when I went in to be induced with child number 2 who was 14 days overdue. I was so scared that I would not make it back to be with him that I had to tell him how much I loved him so he would have something to hold onto for the rest of his life. It is so scary isn’t it.
All 3 of my little girls were almost 2 weeks overdue, so I can totally relate, although I must say, you looked a lot better at the end… they were all ten pounders ( no C-section, and twice no epidural ) and I did end up with 3 inducements, I simply could not take any more! When people ask us if we are ” going to try for the boy ” I feel like sucker punching them and saying ” ARE YOU CRAZY!!! ” I am done, thank you. Can’t wait to read the rest…
Oh, I am so happy to see this! I have been waiting on pins & needles for this story.
My 1st baby boy was born 4 days early vaginally after 38 hrs of labor, 24 natural but failing to progress (stuck at 4cm) & then induced to progress till birth. My 2nd boy was 5 days overdue, born by emergency c-section after 26 hrs of labor (10hrs induced after failure to progress past 8cm) when he almost strangled to death mid-contraction & pushing from his cord around his neck.
My surgeon did my scars to allow VBAC, but I am not the best candidates given my crazy long and stalling labor trends. But I am determined to try! 75% of women who try are successful, and I can’t in my own mind not try! At first I thought that I’d try, but at the point of needing induction, I’d say “Wheel me to the OR,” terrified of pitocin contractions on a scarred uterus. But your story gives me hope that even in induction, I can still hope for a VBAC.
I can’t wait to read the rest of your story…thanks for all the special details. It really gives us a glimpse of the emotions, not just the events, to give us hope too!
Wow, you are such an amazing writer! So honest, sweet and clear. Please never stop writing. Thank you Katie, for giving yourself to the world so beautifully.
Perfect timing Katie….I’ve been patiently waiting for your birth story. I’m 38 weeks pregnant and will be attempting a VBAC with Dr. Tate sometime in the next 4 weeks. 🙂
Nooo..It can’t stop at that..I was soo into it. Ready to read more! 🙂
Thanks for sharing. I have a two year old and I’m not sure if I want to have more. My birth story wasn’t as I had imagine, (of course, they rarely are). Now I have this tremendous fear of not being there for my husband and son. I can totally feel you.
I’m thinking the same thing…..
I squealed a little when this popped up on my blog reader. Thank you so much for finding the time to write this. I can’t wait to read more!!
Thank you for sharing your life! I’m pregnant with my second and I’m happy and scared at the same time… it’s always comforting for me to read how you feel and how do you handle the same stuff.
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I am so excited you are posting this! Annnnnd, I am excited to read the next entry. You are a seriously talented writer, Katie. Your style would translate so well in a book – just throwing that out there.
Thank GOD that we already know it’s got a happy ending. Now put those gorgeous kids down and finish the story!!!!
More please!!! What an awesome writer you are! We are officially trying to get pregnant and should know in two weeks whether it’s worked. Oh my goodness your story just makes me want to pee on a stick now already!! Ok…TMI 🙂 Can’t wait to hear the rest and as always thank you for opening your life to us.
So excited to read this…can’t wait for part 2!!
In the words (or close enough) of Oliver — “Please Katie, I’d like some more!”
Such a great story so far. Your writing never fails to make me tear up.
Can you magically add more hours to your days and write a book? I love this, you’re such a good writer! Can’t wait for the next part!
I normally just read, but I just had to comment on this story. I’m due Feb 17th… first baby. It’s a girl. They are expecting her to weigh 9 lbs plus. YIKES. Pregnancy has been exciting but I’m also scared. Thank you for sharing this story.
Can’t wait to read part II, thanks for sharing!
First of all, you are SUCH a great writer. This sucked me in right away, and I was disappointed when it ended! I hope you have Part 2 ready for us tomorrow.
I also have that fear of not making it through childbirth. I should note that we don’t have any kids yet, but I’m still terrified. My sister-in-law had her first baby a couple of years ago, and by watching her go through it all I was SO shocked to discover how much still goes wrong (and how little some doctors know). Completely freaked me out. She’s pregnant again with #2 now, so clearly I’m the basket case here. I guess I’m just wired to excessively worry.
No, she thought it was a sign that she was so late. Like God was giving her “extra” days before the end.
I’m reading this as I sit with my 2 and a half year old at preschool, where I’ve been dying to leave for the past 4 months, feeling so grateful and lucky that I get to spend so much time with him. Thank you for the reminder, it was really moving.
Oh my I have been WAITING and WAITING on this post! I had our first baby on the same day you had Weston – I remember looking at your instagram posts while in labor. I was induced. AND had to have a c-section. I’m really hoping and praying I can have a vbac with the next one, whenever the Lord decides to bless us with another one. All that to say, I CANNOT wait to hear the rest of this story. 🙂
I’m loving this story, Katie, especially the whole beginning about the crying, “Mommy’s a little scared…” And about the whole “being tired” thing. I’m at 36 weeks now, and really, really starting to want to MEET this little person instead of just carry them around everywhere. Thanks for sharing, and can’t wait to read more!!
I agree! Your writing style is just like that “novel I can’t put down!” Put it on your bucket list 🙂
haha..no. I thought about the chance of dying during childbirth. I know it’s rare but not impossible. It was just a fear. I had the fear before I was overdue. And being overdue gave me time to think about it. I think that I am like most folks out there…I just try to think of every day as a gift.
xo – kb
Can’t wait to read part 2!! Your a great writer, have you ever thought about writing a book?
Only a childrens book. I have this idea of one that would be silly and fun 🙂
xo – kb
You. are. Amazing. I’ve only had one baby and have a hard time articulating it into words. You made me cry and laugh at the end. I love very word.
Katie, I found your blog from John & Sherry and I was hooked the first time I came here. I’ve read post after post just in awe of your beautiful photos and your ability with words. Your family makes me smile and I only started reading about them after you were pregnant with Weston.
The way you wrote this is so perfect and I can really feel myself being right beside you sharing those emotions. I feel so on the edge of my seat for Part II! It’s like reading a great book before bed and knowing that you have to go to bed because you have to be up early and do a trillion things. You just have to force yourself to sleep and take a little break, and I’m a little mad you’re forcing us to do that, but I can’t wait to pick up the book again!
Thank you for being so vulnerable with your writing and sharing the intimate details of life with us, I hope I speak for many readers when I tell you that we appreciate it.
you have me hanging out for part 2! Beautifully written words!
Beautifully written! Can’t wait to read the rest!!!
I LOVE reading this story. I am currently almost 32 weeks preggo with twins and am SO ready to have these babies. LOVE reading another birth story when we are so close to our own!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Rachel
Katie Bower, bless your heart!!! Honey I know I don’t know you in real life, but I wanted to give you the biggest hug reading about how scared you were!!!
Nail biter!!!! Seriously, the cliffhanger was frustrating and awesome. I can’t wait to hear the rest since I followed all of your pics obsessively and prayed with you throughout the night as I got up for my many prego pee breaks 🙂
Oh yeah, and I am pretty sure my husband thought I was crazy when I squealed, “Katie had her baby!” like you were my IRL best friend, haha.
Katie, you, my girl, are a writer! Looking forward to reading more.
Simply beautiful. Can’t wait for the next instalment. x
Katie, you write so beautifully. I can’t relate in any way (I don’t plan on having children for a very long time) but I can feel every word. Thank you for putting yourself out there and letting us share this with you.
WOW!!!! Weston made quite an entrance! I can’t wait to read part 2.
So I read this before work this morning. And then promptly re-did my face (makeup) before walking out of the house. Such a beautiful post 🙂 Thank you for sharing your life with us other readers/bloggers!
I thought I was going to die when I was 11 days late with my first and then I kept thinking that during my 28 hours of labor!
Aww, what a cliff hanger! At least we know he got here. I can’t wait for the next part!
Katie B get out of my head!
I was just having a conversation on Friday with my boss about my fear of what would happen to my son if God fobid something happened to my husband and I. The conversation went on for a while and then ended with us talking about the fact that he would never have any memory of his parents (he’s 8 months old) except in pictures and videos. It was a very sad realization for me. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who frets about these things. As always, thanks so much for sharing. I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story.
Wow! We women just love a good birth story, don’t we? Can’t wait to hear the rest – you write so well!
can’t wait to read part two – hopefully not quite as much as a tear-jerker…but i’m sure it will be!
Love this story…the suspense ! Very touching 🙂
Can’t wait to read part 2! Thank you for sharing your sweet story!!
This is exactly why I adore this blog.
I really appreciate your honesty, but more importantly, your realness is so heartwarming. I gave birth to my first little hunky man on 11/30/12, and finally understanding this love for your own child has been so amazing. Your story tugged at my heart big time, because it was so honest…and I can relate to that worry.
I feel like I have been with you step by step through the process of trying for Weston, and finding out about Weston, and now, holding Weston. Thank you for sharing your heartwarming stories, your ridiculously awesome humor, your beautiful baby boys, and your hubba hubba hubby. I hope I can continue to be a fun and loving mom and wife like you!
Such beautiful writing Katie and thank you for sharing this with us! I’m always amazed and sooo grateful for you sharing even the scariest (or weirdest :D) thoughts, it makes me feel like I’m not the only one feeling like that :). Can’t wait for part 2!
what?! talk about timing!
I’ve been waiting for your birth story, birth story are so heart warming and especially you write so well~ <3 been waiting for part 2 like a baby hanging out at the tip of the vagina ready to come out in these couple days though!
Thanks for sharing the start of your birth story. I can’t wait to read the rest.
What is it about going past your due date that turns the excitement and anticipation into dread and worry?
I can relate to how you felt because I also had those sorts of emotions with my second pregnancy. I was 10 days overdue when my daughter was born this past September.
Thankfully my baby and were okay, but it was a pretty scary experience. I was scheduled for an induction on a Monday morning, but ended up going into labor on my own the Saturday before that. I attempted to VBAC, but after about 15 hours of labor, I ended up having an emergency c-section because the baby’s vitals were wonky, and the doctors discovered that I was thisclose to a uterine rupture.
If we have another child, I will have to have a scheduled c-section, doctor’s orders.
I still just thank God that I’m here and that my 2 year old daughter and husband don’t have to have to live without me.
haha…hilarious 🙂
xo – kb
I can’t wait to read the rest! I live vicariously through other’s birth stories. I was told at the age of 32 that future children were highly unlikely as I was going through early menopause. I am now 35 and sometimes I would give anything to be able to have another baby….feel their soft skin, smell their beautiful straight from Heaven smell. Alas, it is not to be. 🙁
Part 2 Part 2 Part 2! Pretty Please??? 🙂
I always love the honesty in your mama posts. We would make awesome neighbors. I loved this and can relate to it on many levels. Part 2, pretty please!
WHY do we think things like this? I have a precious, perfect 2 year old little girl and a husband who is the best. And we are pregnant with our second (girl!). I keep having these awful thoughts: what if childbirth goes horribly wrong? I doesn’t happen often but it happens and it scares me to much to leave those two. They are my world and I want to be there for them forever. Those thoughts don’t creep into my head often but when they do it’s super scary and sad. Glad to know that I’m not the only one who finds themselves dwelling on random scary stuff!
In between I’m just super excited to meet our next little girl. I will also be a VBAC (although my dcotor won’t Pit his VBACs) and I’m really hopeful this time around.
need. part. 2!
🙂
Where’s part two?! i LOVE BIRTH STORIES, and I have been waiting and waiting for yours… 🙁
I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story. I hope it’s coming soon! 🙂