The number one question I have had since Weston was born was some form of
“How’s breastfeeding going this second time around?”
and I thought it was high time to give you the boob-news. If breastfeeding isn’t your cup (or jug…haha) of tea (milk), then feel free to skip this post…Pappap, that means you 🙂
It helps to know where I came from to fully understand how this 2nd time experience has really affected me. My first time was kinda traumatic. I was a new mom with a surprise c-section going around the breastfeeding block with Will…most folks don’t breastfeed before having their first, right? I really didn’t know what to expect going into it but had an excruciatingly difficult time. Looking back, I think there was a lot of factors that made it hard…Will has a very short tongue (not fully tongue tied but short enough to make it a struggle), I was a first time mom who has trouble relaxing, Will thought he as a newborn was in charge, there was some cue-reading issues and I was so sleep deprived due to a colicy baby that I didn’t know up from down, much less how to fix our situation. Oh and there was nipple damage thrown in for kicks. And a touch of depression…crying over spilled milk? happened. Basically, I am shocked we made it through.
But we did. and that is what really matters.
Katie & Will April 8, 2010
Would I change the way things turned out? Not in a million years. Breastfeeding Will taught me some really important life lessons. And as an adult (or a pseudo-adult), those teaching moments are often hard to come by. I learned that my stubborness can help me conquer amazing obstacles when I focus it toward the right goal. I learned that judgment of other mom’s personal family decisions doesn’t help anyone…in fact, it hurts the judger and judgee. I learned that pain can be a catalyst to learning devotion…self sacrifice a way to fall in love and patience can bring about a beautiful storybook ending. I had that with my first born.
Although the majority of my time breastfeeding Will was difficult, we lasted the full first year and when it came time to ween there was no doubt in my mind that Will and I were both ready and I ended that chapter of my life with a smile on my face (and both boobs still intact).
The point? Will and I had a very rocky beginning, a rocky middle and a great ending. And yes, I am VERY glad I did it.
So it comes as no surprise with my past experience that was sortof scared to start a breastfeeding journey all over again. I know that every baby is different. I also know that in the back of my mind, I figured that it probably couldn’t be a harder start that what I had with Will. And my personal theory on most hard situations is hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Fast forward to Weston’s birth – a successful VBAC – and we had the opportunity to take that first step on our breastfeeding journey…
Immediately after Weston was born, he was laid on the table and rubbed by my doctor till he sucked in his first breath of earthly air and his sweet little mouth produced a sound. As soon as his little lungs filled up, he was moved onto my chest…mere seconds after birth – immediately getting that skin-to-skin contact that any c-section mommy knows is absent in the Operating Room and often bypassed in the Recovery Room. I was able to fawn over Weston for a few moments before the nurses encouraged me to try to nurse. That first time was very reminscent of my first time with Will…except this go around, I was practically naked in a room full of people and was sortof distracted by the fact that there was still ‘work’ to be done in the southern regions if you know what I mean. Goodbye intimate moment with my baby, hail to the V.
Once all the puzzle pieces were put back together, I was shocked to hear that Weston weighed a little over ten pounds. I figured he was big but I surely didn’t expect to give birth to a toddler…BUT I also knew that this was good for me. I knew that more than likely, his bigger size would help us. He would have a larger capacity sooner for more milk. And if he nursed well and gained weight sufficiently, then the chances were good that we would not have to be woken up every three hours for another session (this is exactly what happened). I also knew that big babies usually have big mouths…good for the girls ‘transitional pain’.
During our hospital visit, breastfeeding was fairly easy. I used a hold that I mastered with Will (one hand holding the boob, one behind the neck of the baby with fingers up near the ears) and I was reminded why it was my favorite….complete control of latching on! hollah! Even the nurses and the lactation consultant commented on what a great hold it was and how impressed they were with our progress. They also asked if I wanted to try other holds…to which I promptly said no. I am a firm believer that for me, I like to conquer one hold before trying new things…and Weston was still learning.
Did it hurt? Sure. But I would say that that initial nipple pain with your first lasts about a month. With the second, half that tops. Oh and when your milk comes in your second time – it’s bigger and badder. like if my first was a class three tropical storm, the second time it was a class four. Engorgement this time was fierce…but I knew how to combat it so WHEW.
The biggest difference with breastfeeding the first and second was that Will was like a tornado on my chest…flailing, scratching, kicking, pushing….and Weston was like the calm that follows the storm. Weston does things that I thought were urban mommy myths. He stays still, grips my shirt with his chubby little fingers, adjusts his head slowly and lays calmly in my arms. He stays latched the entire time and is efficient and keeps both lips turned out (which is a really big deal because I would have to fix Will’s constantly). Also Weston does exactly what is described in the books….he nurses, pulls off, needs burping, nurses on the other side, pulls off when full. HOLY Tim Tebow…didn’t realize that could actually happen with a newborn. Amazing. Basically it took Will 6 months to learn that! And I credit it all to personality differences.
How is it going now – two months later? Better than I could have ever dreamed. He nurses every three hours during the day and then in the evening, he cluster feeds – moving the sessions closer together. Yup…dinner time I’m all rock-out-with-the-boob-out. Right around ten to midnight (depending on how many calories he has consumed I think) he nurses for the last time and then sleeps till 8 am. I KNOW! it’s freaking AMAZING.
Have I done anything different this time around? Not initially no. But I did notice that this time I am eating more (C’mon, Thanksgiving was that week!), Weston is not colic at all and I can recognize letting-down easier…so if it’s not happening when he latches on, I can try harder to really relax and think milky thoughts. I’ve also invested a lot more time in burping and that ‘fall-in-love’ time.
All that to say – this time has been polar opposite of my first experience. And to be perfectly honest, I’m so glad that I had the hard experience first because it makes this one so much sweeter. It has left the sweetest taste in my mouth…pun intended 🙂 And I hope that anyone that reads this leaves with a few simple things….sometimes things are hard and sometimes things aren’t….the main thing is, whether you are breastfeeding, or pumping, or formula feeding…continue to be stubborn in your love for your child….each one is a beautiful and unique creation. And continue to encourage other moms….this is a tough job we have and we all want what is absolutely best for our kids. GO US!
To read Will’s breastfeeding journey – click here 🙂
What a great Blessing Katie! So happy for you and your family:)
Your story is so similar to mine! For both the first and second boys. The first time was an out and out FIGHT between the two of us every time and was a good, though hard, lesson. The second time was tons easier and gave me a chance to really relish the experience.
I agree that stubbornness was a big factor in making it through the first one. I cared so much about my boy, his health and my health/experience with him that I could handle (with lots of crying and more complaining than I’m proud of) all the pain, exhaustion, disappointment and struggle.
I’m glad to hear that God gave you a healing experience this second time. Those “do-overs” that He gives us are so awesome! I’m sure we’d manage without them, but the blessing is so great and such a cherry on top!
Congrats on a successful breastfeeding journey! I had a lot of the same issues you did with Will… so it’s encouraging to hear that number 2 can be so different! Happy feeding:)
Thank you so much for sharing- your experiences and wisdom will be so helpful to so many. I’m not in the ‘baby stage’ now (my son is 9!) but I remember what it was like to be a new mom like it was yesterday and would have loved to have heard this then.
I’m so happy for you! And I love hearing that the second time really can be easier. I’m pg with #2 right now. My first seems to be very much like Will. The love of my life, but a huge and constant challenge. I’m praying for an easier time with this next little man, but at least I’ll know how to deal with a challenge if I get that. I love hearing good stories like this.
I’m sure you’ll get about a million comments on this post. Just wanted to say “Go Mama!” Your first experience was very similar to mine (unexpected c-section, super painful and damaged nipples, fighting with nursing for months, blah, blah, blah). Just want to express how VERY HAPPY I am for you to be having such a different and wonderful reality this time around 🙂
Hollah for that grip indeed!! As a mumma who’s “cup overfloweth” in those really milky months, I had to do that hold partly just so my babies didn’t get smothered!
So glad to hear your second time is going well! I started out rocky with my son as well, then after a few months he got the hang of it =] By around 8 months old though, he had six teeth. Nuff said! I loved every moment of nursing though, enjoy it!
P.S. Your babies are adorable!!!
I have to say, aside from announcing you were pregnant with Weston, this is my favorite post. Hallelujah and Praise Jesus!! Praying my second time around with nursing goes just as well.
He he that’s exactly the question that I’ve been wondering too! So so happy to hear it’s going so well for you and Weston. I also just wanted to thank you for being so open and honest about your breastfeeding journey with Will and the struggles you’ve encountered. It has inspired be to continue breastfeeding my eight-week-old Isabel, despite it being very challenging in many of different ways xx Love your blog by the way! I’m an avid reader all the way from New Zealand.
So glad for you momma! It’s not an easy thing, fo sho! I am almost 8 months in with my first and it’s been awesome. I am already sad about the weening process. A friend of mine wrote a blog recently about how women never tell each other we are proud of them… so I’m proud of you! For sticking it out with Will and for trying again with Weston! Lady Parts Power!!
That photo of your feeding your little man is BEAUTIFUL! Congratulations, and WAY TO GO!!!!!
I’m so glad “round two” has been such a positive experience for you! Keep up the good work Mama! PTL!
“I learned that judgment of other mom’s personal family decisions doesn’t help anyone…in fact, it hurts the judger and judgee.” -Katie Bower
That needed to be said.
My experience with my first child is very similar to yours. Latch issues, milk problems, colicky baby, three rounds of mastitis….terrible. Nonetheless, we made it through 16 months of BF-ing. It was seriously my greatest achievement. I’m pregnant with #2 now and feel major anxiety that this journey will repeat itself. I pray we have a smoother go like you have. Great job, momma!! PS: You put him down at midnight and he sleeps ’til 8am….really? WOW!!
I love that pic of Weston nursing. It brings back those cuddly nursing memories I have with my little guy!
Such a sweet story and thanks for sharing. How neat will it be to watch your two boys grow up together? Such different temperaments will make for an exciting and sweet time.
Katie, Congratulations on the healthy and happy arrival of Weston (great name choice). I’m a first time mom and I delivered our little guy Nolan on Nov. 20th. It’s been great reading about your journey to delivery and your settling in phase. Motherhood is a wild amazing ride, we’re cherishing these precious days. All the best to you and your boys. Thank you for being so candid and for sharing.
I’m really glad that I read your post. My son is just over a month old and we wrestled with nursing for the first 3 weeks. My in-laws stayed with us for two weeks, we were showing our home, buying a new home, packing…and did I mention had a NEWBORN!!! It was crazy and nursing was just hell. I threw in the towel because I was not being pleasant to anyone, especially my new son. I didn’t feel attached to me son, it felt like a job to nurse, a job that you don’t want to go to. I felt like a failure, but realized that a miserable mom is not good either!
After reading your post you give me hope for my next child, and hopefully all the stress is gone and I can solely focus on my baby.
Ahhhhh… I love that picture of you two breastfeeding! I would claw the eyes out of a kitten to have one with my son, but I never did that. Now he is almost 1 and wouldn’t cooperate but I will be trying it! So happy for you Katie!
That is awesome. I am pregnant with my second right now and there is one question that goes around my mind over and over. How do you nurse having a toddler to take care of?
I love the way you describe your love for your boys and explain lessons learned.
Beautiful…thanks for letting us in on it.
Thank you so much for this. I have a 3 month old who was born horribly tongue tied. By the time the pediatrician clipped it we were two weeks into exclusively pumping and she wasn’t going back to the breast. I had a five week relationship with my pump and finally gave up. I was no longer able to keep up with her demand, and I felt like a failure! The pressure from those around me was suffocating. We started formula and there was a night and day difference for baby, Mommy and Daddy. I am pretty pumped to give it a go with baby #2 in the future, thanks for the hope! Xoxo
Well, I have a lot of distraction methods for him. Thankfully Weston is efficient so it takes only about thirty minutes tops…which is about the length it takes for Will to put together all his puzzles, zoom around the house on his balance bike, color or do stickers or have a snack, or even watch an episode of Little Einsteins. We just make it work 🙂
xo – kb
I was really hoping you’d have an easier time with Weston. I’m so glad to hear it’s going well!
Ahh….I am so happy for you! I remember reading your stories with Will, thinking…oh em gee…i completely relate! I struggled with my now 2 year old…each day was difficult, but we made it to a year! And I am so happy…and proud that we did. But, due to the difficulties, I am scared for round number 2- whenever that may be! Your story gives me hope! I am so jealous of moms that get that blissful breastfeeding experience! =) So excited for you that this time around is so much “easier”. I use that term lightly, because I really don’t think it is ever “easy” to nurse . It takes so much dedication and determination. But provides so much satisfaction and such a sacred bond. I admire you for your genuinely spoken words. And this is why I love your blog so much!! Keep it up…GOO KATIE AND WESTON! =)
precious pics…he has daddy’s eyes!
I just want to say congrats to you for realizing at 3 weeks that you weren’t happy and weren’t being the best Mom you knew you could be. It took me 6 months! 6 months of clogs, misery and feeling like nursing was a “job” (complete with pumping sessions, special diets and milk aids—fenugreek, tea, cookies, etc) before I started at least supplementing.
Now I feel bad about the time we lost and the stress I passed on to my baby girl (not to mention all the weight gain issues due to my low supply). I am praying the next time is better too. But, I wish someone had pulled me to the side and said “it’s ok”.
Katie—this post was beautiful and I feel like it was scripture I needed to hear. Btw, Weston is so handsome.
I had the same experience with the amount of time your nipples feel like death with your first vs. second! My kids are 19 months apart, and my first also has a short, almost tongue tied tongue; I was almost in tears with latching for at least the first month. Then I had an almost 10lb baby with a lizard tongue second time around, and they were sore for maaaybe 10 days!
I’m so happy for you that it’s going so well this time around! That picture of him nursing is SO sweet, it gives me the baby itch!
You are officially my second go round hero. I aspire to be just like you when I deliver again, except I’ll take a smaller baby for my VBAC thankyouverymuch. :o) I can relate so much to your birthing experience with Will. My pregnancy story would make people cry, so I’ll skip that…but after 18 weeks of bed rest I had an emergency c-section and about an hour later finally got to meet my daughter…suckorama. So, breastfeeding was the plan until we discovered at one month old that all my efforts were in vain because she wasn’t gaining and was tongue tied. By then…the milk had mostly left the building but I continued to nurse as much as I could and I still nurse her in the mornings even while pregnant..and she’s 17 months. Thank you for pointing out how important it is to be supportive of other moms. I stood in line and cried a big ugly cry while buying formula the first couple of times. Before then, I would have been quick to stand on the breast is best soapbox and look down on formula moms. Definitely a lesson learned the hard way. I don’t have happy pregnancies full of warm fuzzy feelings….after a near loss and high risk with my daughter, losing my son this summer at 16 weeks, and now fingers crossed a healthy baby due in July, you have really given me hope that I can still have my vbac and breastfeed without incident. So thanks for the inspiration. Oh, and a side note, if this baby doesn’t come out with a tongue like Gene Simmons (there’s a visual) they are clipping it before we leave the hospital!
Aww lovely. I had similar issues first time around and had to supplement with formula from the get to, I had a giant baby for #2 (10lb11oz) and was worried how I’d keep up with him but he was so different. He fed every three hours all day and night until 7 months but was so loving while he did I almost didn’t mind. Now #3 is doing beautifully as well. It’s testament to how amazing our bodies are.
So happy things are going well for you! You deserve it! MY experience was the opposite. My first son was a piece of cake. From the second he was born, he was completely content. He ate well, he slept well, easily followed (and actually put himself on) a 4 hour feeding schedule from the get-go and would even go 6 hours during the night by 1 week old, he was always happy… just the “dream” baby, I swear. Everything was always… easy. I missed him when he was sleeping (and by 8 weeks, he would sleep 12 hours/ night and did that right up until kindergarten – crazy, I know), I couldn’t wait to see him in the morning, I loved changing EVERY diaper, rocking him for EVERY nap, feeding EVERY bottle. To be honest, the only thing I didn’t like was SHARING him! 😉 And although I wanted to have 10 more babies just like him IMMEDIATELY, it wasn’t until 4 1/2 years later #2 came along. My experience with my 2nd son was much like your experience with Will. Everything was difficult. I had this pretty picture painted in my head of how everything was going to go: when I was going to have quiet 1-on-1 time with each boy, where I would peacefully feed the baby, what time his naps would be so my first and I could have special time together, he’d eat every 4 hours and sleep at such-and-such time, how I was going to still have a really fun summer with my oldest even though I had a newborn. Ummmmm…. NO! Lets just say NOT ONE THING worked out the way I had envisioned in my head. When my second son was 4 HOURS old, he began to cry and was VERY inconsolable. I mean newborn baby – eat, sleep, diaper change, snuggle, walk ’em around – what else is there to do? What could a baby possibly want other than that? I remember my husband and I looking at eachother after unsuccessfully trying to calm our screaming newborn and without ACTUALLY saying anything, we both had this look of ‘what the heck did we do?!?!?!’ And that’s pretty much how the next 8 months went. He never napped – not even as a newborn. If he fell asleep and you put him down, he immediately awoke. His sleep during the night was always interrupted, he had a milk allergy and was diagnosed with reflux and though the special formula helped, he still was difficult. I can remember just sitting, holding him as he cried, sobbing myself EVERY night. I was SUPER glad when any grandparent would take over for a few hours and allow me a break. I felt like a HORRIBLE mother to my almost 5 year old that this baby demanded so much attention from me. I remember my mom calling one day and saying, “How is today going?” I responded: “well, you know how you can bring your baby to any fire station/ hospital/ police station with no questions asked? I’m thinking about doing that.” I wasn’t, of course. But that paints a picture of how our days were. Things gradually got easier. When he started cereal (early – at 6 weeks) he was a tiny bit happier. When he learned to sit up (early again) he was a tiny bit happier. When he learned to crawl (early – 5 months) he was a tiny bit happier. And when he started walking (early – completely walking around at 8 months old)… BOOM!!!! Happiest baby in the world. Once he could walk, that boy was the silliest, happiest little thing. A handful, but it was SO freakin’ great!!!! The sleep issues and the tummy issues went on for quite a while after. He didnt sleep through the night without needing assistance until he was almost 3 and we still have to deal with his tummy issues even now (he’s 5 1/2). But once that 8 months hit, I felt such a huge sigh of relief. FINALLY I could enjoy this parenting thing again instead of sitting at night crying. Looking back, I think my first problem was having ANY expectations at all. I got LUCKY with my first son – babies are NOT always that easy. Assuming I was going to have everything be all sunshine and happiness AGAIN… stooooooooopid!!!! 😛 And of course I want to say that I wouldn’t change anything for the world, but I would. I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Even though I look at it STILL as the most difficult time of my life, I’d go back and do it all over again knowing what I know now – knowing how fast this little guy was going to grow up (he’s 5 1/5 and acts like he’s 15, I swear) knowing that even though it felt hard, I should still try to cherish every moment rather than just trying to get through another day. I have all of these beautiful memories of my first born – holding him while he slept, gazing at his beautiful face, loving every second of every day i got to spend with him. When I think of my second being a baby, it’s all: he cried, i cried, no one slept – ahhhh!!! I hate that. At the time, everyday seemed like an eternity – but now I’m able to look back and say, it was only 8 difficult months. That is such a small span of time compared to the lifetime of joy he brings and will continue to bring to me. And for the record – he is CRAZY easy and fun now!! He’s witty and hillarious, high energy and entertaining, smart, athletic, totally laid back and go with the flow – just an AMAZING kid! I am completely in love with him and not to brag (wink wink), but everyone else falls in love with him too!! And not that I like to compare, but he is truly my EASIEST child! Go figure. I won’t begin to tell you the story of my 3rd – our first GIRL. I wouldn’t want to scare you away from one day trying for your third baby (and possible first girl)….. ;P Anyway – I’m done blabbin’ now. Your family is beautiful and there is so much more beauty to come. Just wait until Weston is older and him and Will can really play together – it will melt your heart. The bond between brothers is just so sweet to witness. Love and hugs to you guys. xoxo
LOVE this!!
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
With my no. 1, I found the first 3 months really rough (absolute hell to be quite frank) but then it got pretty good after that. Looking back there were a lot of rookie mistakes and misinformation that caused me grief.
I am actually still a bit angry with the midwives (most of who were trained LC’s) for all of the awful misinformation they gave me. They almost destroyed our breastfeeding relationship right at the start, it was only my sheer determination and my extensive family support that got us through it. If I’d been like a lot of my friends and not had my mother nearby, I think I would have just resigned myself as a failure and given up.
I am hoping with no. 2 it will be a different story, like you. I am going in much more confidently this time – knowing a lot more about potential ‘booby traps’ and having now had 3 years breastfeeding experience. I have all of my fingers and toes crossed for a more relaxed baby too! It also helps to know that my darling (red headed, Scottish) mother will be hovering in the wings ready to declare war on anyone who tries to sabotage us at the hospital this time around 🙂
Hi Katie! Our stories are so different and yet still so similar. I also named Katie Elizabeth who loves in georgia and gave birth to a 10 pounder and he is only getting bigger by the day. Our due dates were only 5 days apart but instead of going late like u I went in a week early! Since it wasn’t too long ago that u stopped breastfeeding will does he get jealous at all? Also how in the world did he start sleeping through the night? I still wake up at least once in the middle of the night and really early in the morning. Does he sleep on his belly or on his back and is he in his own room or yours? Thanks and I surely enjoy reading your posts about Weston since our babies our close in age and weight!
Congrats Katie B.! This gives me hope for if and when we have a second. Our little girl was born October 18 and in the hospital they kept taking me how she had a great latch, was great at sucking, etc. When they told us she had jaundice and we had a doctor tthat refused to let us nurse to fix it (
I am soooo happy that your breastfeeding experience is different this time around!! And I also agree that without that tough first time around with a baby, the easy times would be taken for granted. I, too, had a colicky (silent reflux) baby and it was heck. But we made it through – now that this little bambino is not difficult I can truly appreciate it.
Good job Katie! And enjoy those two!!!
Thanks for this. Just…thank you. For giving me hope. I feel like my Abby and your Will had such similar experiences. I too had a surprise C-section that left me feeling like a big ol’ failure. We had no bonding experience; the first three months felt more like an obligation to keep this screaming humanoid alive. Oh, and breastfeeding completely failed after failure to thrive (no milk; mostly due to stress I think), yeast infections for both of us…that spread, and mastitis. I tried for two long, miserable months and finally had no choice but to stop. It really drove me into a pretty deep postpartum depression.
And then, I realized, that my measure as a mother could not be determined by feeding failures, or my own body issues (feeling incomplete with a C-section, since I never had been at all prepared for the possibility).
Looking back though, I don’t regret the experience, because like you I feel it has made me a better mother, and certainly VERY empathetic to new moms who are struggling.
I’m terrified, yet pleasantly optimistic about the next go-around. If breastfeeding doesn’t work after a good college try, we’ll find other alternatives. If I can’t have a VBAC, well, that’ll suck, but what really matters is whether that baby is healthy and loved, not what milk enters its body for nourishment or by what method it entered the world. It’s just all glorious, miraculous life!
Congrats on Weston. He looks so precious, and gives me hope for an “easier” go-around the next time.
Thank you for this post. And thank you for pointing out that judging other moms does no good. I had a horrible nursing experience and all of the doctors I looked for help from just told me to go to the bottle after about a month of struggle. I felt like a failure. I would sit there and cry as she gulped down her formula and think I was the worst mom ever. If we ever have another, I’m going to a completely different hospital that supports breastfeeding…not one that within a minute of delivering tells me my boobs are too big and it “probably won’t work” then guilting me into giving them the ok to give the baby formula the first night even though I told them I didn’t want her tasting it. I’m so proud of you for giving it another go, Katie!
Beautiful photos, especially the one of you nursing Weston.
He’s just beautiful! He looks like you in that last picture. I bonded so much with my babies while nursing. It’s one of the things I’m most proud of doing in my life. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I’m thrilled for you that this time has been easier and enjoyable for everyone!
I just had our first almost 7 weeks ago via unplanned C-section after a 36 hour labor. Thankfully the nurses did encourage (mandate?) breast feeding in the recovery room, and she latched on like a champ.
I’ve since said that I’ll take a crazy L&D any time over a kid who doesn’t want to breast feed. As nuts as that may sound, I’ll even do a repeat C-sec next time for another happy-to-nosh-at-the-bosom kid.
Oh, and yes, the holding the breast and holding the baby’s head behind the ears is a charm! It works really well for non 10 pounders, too!
Best to you in the journey!
I was unable to breastfeed due to my son’s health problems & severe allergies. Nursing was my only real expectation of motherhood–I wanted it fiercely. And when it didn’t happen, it spiraled me into a sad state of Post Partum Depression. I had my husband trying to make me feel better while I felt judged and like a failure from many people on the outside.
This, Katie Bower, is the first nursing journey I’ve ever read that felt real and sincere and made me long for that with my son without feeling judged and like I’d failed my baby. Thank you.
And here’s to better luck if I’m blessed with a #2!
I love this post ! Thanks… We are preparing for baby # 2 in 6 short weeks. My first born is the same age as Will, and we had a horrible breastfeeding experience that ended at 3 months. This time I’m determined to make it through all the bumps.. including a busy toddler and demanding job. Keep the posts coming… 🙂 PS Do you have any experience with pumping ?
You’re some sort of superhero.
Long time reader, though i dont comment often.
I have to say… your story is very moving and i’m greatfull you have been willing to share so much with us. I’m not a mom yet, and may not over become one but your posts make me feel like… if i do, it’ll be worth it.
Both of your children are beautiful and your pictures in this post are just wonderful.
That is one of the most beautiful photos of breastfeeding I’ve ever seen! Gorgeous!
Hey Katie- I’m really happy to hear that BFing is going so well this time around, and also really happy anytime someone talks about breastfeeding out in the open on a blog! Great job on both counts.
My only comment is that you state that nipple pain can last a month with your first and half that with your second, when in fact many many breastfeeding mothers don’t experience any nipple pain at all. As a midwife, I know that if a client experiences nipple pain, it usually means that there is an underlying issue (poor latch, tongue-tie, yeast infection, Raynaud’s, etc.) and we try to rectify it ASAP.
While I totally understand that you had nipple pain for a month, that is certainly not the norm nor the rule for first-time moms and just don’t want any mamas-to-be to think that they are absolutely heading in for a month of pain. (For example, I never had moment of nipple pain throughout my entire BFing experience, and the large majority of my primip clients do not either). It’s our job as midwives not to let women suffer through nipple pain when there are so many ways to prevent/fix it!
Just wanted to clarify that 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story of Bfing Weston after having a hard time. I DONT CARE or JUDGE anyone who doesnt BF…but what does bother me, is when my friends will say, ‘well sure you BF your daughter for a year, but you must have had an easy time with her’. NOOO! Broken Nips (raw hambuger anyone? I swear thats what they looked like and it was horrifying..I didnt read about THAT in any books!), poor latch, leaking all over her clothes, but when she actually latched on nothing would come out, waking every two hours to eat then thinking it was party time after she ate….we had a rough rough go of it. But we stuck with it and made it to the other side. I was so proud of her and I for sticking it out and it DID get easier! But it takes dedication, and as you said sometimes ‘suffering’ a little makes the reward do much better! Katie you are an inspiration to anyone trying to BF their 1st or second with your honesty and realism. NOTHING ABOUT MOMMYHOOD IS EASY. And people who make it sound otherwise just set those of us who struggle a bit up for more uneccessary dissapointment in ourselves. Judgement should be reserved…were all in this together in a way arent we? 🙂
XOXO
Lynn
I’m so glad that it’s going well for you this time around! I’m about to have my first in T minus 4 weeks and I’m planning on breastfeeding. It’s nice to read honest posts like these from mommas who’ve done it all before…very encouraging! Especially since I won’t have any idea what I’m doing! 🙂
Melanie, Im so sorry for your loss. I hope you have a healthy baby this summer, and can try to put some of the struggles your been through in the past. You’ll never forget what youve been through. but when god things happen it makes us heal a little. Not fully, just a little. The anxiety involved in a pregnancy after a loss is all consuming, and so unfair for any one to go through. I hope you are able to rest your mind a little and be inspired by Katie and others stories. XOXO
What a sweet little boy! Both of your children are absolutely beautiful. You are so lucky, Katie. You make me want a second but I’m just not ready yet.
Katie, thank you for sharing this. I recently had my first baby, a beautiful little girl. She latched on like a champ at the hospital, and I thought “This is great!” Too bad we got home and it all went to crap. She would chomp on me, flail, kick, scratch, and pull herself on an off. To add insult to injury, my milk production was poor and she didn’t gain weight quickly enough. Our pediatrician asked us to supplement with formula, which has led to an almost exclusively formula diet. So much for my dream of breastfeeding her til she was one. I was feeling really down on myself, but the bottom line is that formula is what worked for us, whether I like it or not. And as long as my little peanut pie is healthy, that’s all that matters. I’m SO glad to hear that it could be totally different the second time around! Best wishes to you and your beautiful family.
So glad it went better for you the second time! It is so hard to breastfeed and it is a painful fight the whole time! My second was greedy and ate WAY too fast! I finally stopped at around 8months because it was uncomfortable every time. So glad it is going well!
Lovely story – thank you for sharing your journeys. Other mothers need to hear about the variety of birth and breastfeeding experiences and to know that they can grow and learn and make their own situations successful (on their own terms). So glad to hear that things are so much easier this time around!
Thanks for sharing! I am not in that stage yet but think about what choice I will make. Reading stories like this helps!
Aww. So happy for you!
So happy for you, Katie! You are an amazing mother.
I loved reading this!! I literally hated every painful minute of nursing my first son. Needless to say, I was worried when the second one was born but tried again anyway. It was amazing the difference! He was a model nurser and I am so grateful for those months of bonding that we had. Now, due with my 3rd in 4 weeks, I’m curious to see how it goes this time….
So happy for you!
Hi Katie! So glad to hear (er… read) that breastfeeding is going so well for you the second time around!
I had the opposite experience with my kids. Both were born by c-section, but breastfeeding my firstborn (my son) was a piece of cake! With my second, though, things started off okay, but I needed to have a second surgery the day after she was born and I did not recover well from that. Things went downhill, she did not gain weight, and when she was four weeks old we switched her to formula.
It was really tough, and I sobbed for weeks. But it all turned out well in the end and she is now a happy, healthy toddler. 🙂
Go boobies go!
😉
What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing.
you rock BOWER! Your positive outlook and faith that each moment is a blessing from God at some point is what more of us need to remember. Not everything happens the way we would want it to or expect it to but if we trust in the Lord he allows everything to happen how he plans it to.
Weston looks beautiful and I am wowed by your 10lbs birth story!
Have you already written your birth story? I just accomplished a VBAC too just a few weeks before you gave birth to Weston so I’m sure everyone wants to hear the story!
I’m so glad it’s going better this time. Weston sounds like the perfect baby. Congratulations again!
Oh my gosh, that picture of Weston nursing *almost* makes me want another babe! That is the sweetest moment EVER! My Weston is 13 months and my 3rd boys. I have exactly ONE picture of him nursing and I love it. I had to take it because I knew I would never have a little one doing that again.
Way to go on nursing, it is NOT as easy as people think. How wonderful that your second experience has been easier!
Oh my gosh, that picture of Weston nursing *almost* makes me want another babe! That is the sweetest moment EVER! My Weston is 13 months and my 3rd boy. I have exactly ONE picture of him nursing and I love it. I had to take it because I knew I would never have a little one doing that again.
Way to go on nursing, it is NOT as easy as people think. I nursed all three boys, but problems arose between 5 and 8 months with not having enough milk. I TOTALLY get how difficult it is and how it feels for your dream of nursing not to pan out. My message is always, love your baby and do what you can but, if your plan doesn’t work, it is ok. Formula is not the enemy, although it sure does seem to wear horns at times! How wonderful that your second experience has been easier!
So happy for you and this easy transition! I had the exact same experience with my first and second. It was such an amazing blessing the second time around and my stress level was literally almost nonexistent. I never realized how the first time difficulties affected me until the second.
On a more important note (haha) will you be at the book signing in Atlanta next month?! My BFF and I (who live in Atlanta) were hoping to get to meet you! (and John and Sherry, obvs)
Thank you for sharing. Such a sweet post and the pictures had me all teary. You’re just awesome.
I just wanted to say I am so happy that things are better the 2nd time around. My story is similar, small fussy baby struggled to breast feed, then chunky easy baby for the 2nd. But, I just really wanted to say the picture of you and Weston outside is soooo gorgeous, like brings tears and memories! It’s really stunning.
I’m so glad to hear your breastfeeding journey has been smoother the second time. I’m really hoping I’ll finally get the hang of itthe next time (but I’m expecting twins so I’m a little more than nervous. I ended up pumping for 15 months with my son, and 12 months with my daughter.
I’m so glad it’s going so well the 2nd time around. We had a rough start too, but are going strong still at 13m. I got mastitis and landed in the hospital when he was 10 days old, but after I recovered from that he was all “omg there’s milk coming out” and would tank up and sleep forever. I think successful BFing the first baby takes a nice big dose of stubborness. Seems like you’re proving my theory true 🙂
Thank you for sharing so openly! I LOVE that your blog makes me gasp often…because the things you say are something I would totally think or do. 🙂
My second was easier than my first as well…but unfortunately my milk doesn’t hold out so I wean around 5-6 mos.
Goodness, he is the most precious baby! So glad this time is going so well for you!!!
I’m sooo glad someone asked this! I’ve been wondering how I’m gonna make that happen too!
You have no idea how happy I am to hear that you’re having such a good time feeding this time around. My almost-one-year-old tore me up, too. He was severely tongue tied, wiggly, stubborn, and had no ‘table manners’. The pain I experienced from feeding was the absolute WORST pain I’d ever had in my life. It felt like I was getting stuck with a hot poker every 2 hours. I decided to quit breast feeding and pumped instead til he turned 11 months old.
I’ll be praying for a “Weston” for our future babes!
Just wanted to thank you for this post. I am due with my first child this spring and it is so helpful to hear honest thoughts about challenges and triumphs in breastfeeding. All the best to you and your family!
BLUE EYES!! Being the mother of 3 beautiful varying shades of blue-eyed babes, I figured Weston would have them too since he looked to have a much lighter shade of milky blue when he was born. 🙂
Stay stubborn in your love. It’s the only thing that gets me through some days that are full of tough lessons and testing children. 🙂
Katie, you are such an inspiration in so many ways. I love that you are so candid on your blog. I’m sure you reach many, many more people in your writing than you even realize. Please keep doing what you do 🙂
YES! I am SOO excited that they are coming…I can barely take it 🙂 And I can’t wait to stand in line to get my book signed too…I’d love to see you there!
xo – kb
Oh my word. I cannot even begin to tell you how sweet the picture of Weston being fed by you is! I breastfed both my boys (now 7 and 4) and this post brings back such sweet memories of that. I had a lot of issues breastfeeding my first baby, too, so I feel your pain 🙂 Enjoy this precious time!!
Thanks so much for sharing Katie! I am pregnant with my second right now, and breastfeeding with my first had it VERY fair share of ups and downs:
http://vtmamateurs.com/2012/05/22/are-you-vermont-enough-part-2/
So, it is so encouraging to hear that your second experience has been night & day from your first. There is SO MUCH PRESSURE (at least around here) to nurse, nurse, nurse- and I think that only adds more stress to an already overtired/worried/stressed mom!
Only a little. I pump when engorged or when the babe has slept through a daytime feeding just so I can freeze some for emergencies. And I did it consistently for a week when Will was first born because I was healing. It’s not so fun and I commend anyone who can keep it up 🙂
xo – kb
Love, love, love this. I had a similar experience with baby #1, and love to hear stories about being stubborn and having a successful outcome. I’m due with baby #2 this spring, and crossing my fingers for a great experience like you have had — knowing that even if it’s as hard (or harder!) than #1 I’ll still make it through. More people should be talking about the struggles, and loudly, so you don’t feel so isolated when you are struggling! Thank you!
I love the way you write! What a sweet post! I had trouble breastfeeding our first born, and we had to supplement with formula. When our second baby was born, I was really nervous about nursing, but it was perfect! He’s two and a half now, and I miss it. As tired as I was, I cherished our nighttime feedings when my hubby and daughter were asleep. I’m so happy that Weston is doing so great with breastfeeding! As always, the pictures are wonderful! The one of you and little Weston is gorgeous!!
Way to go!!! I am currently nursing my 10 month old as I type 🙂
Great post! I’m due in May and plan to breastfeed. I’m a little nervous things might not go well, but your stories (both) help give me hope and confidence. I’m also nervous about pumping when I go back to work after 9 1/2-10 weeks, but I’m sure it will all work out. I just have to remember to “continue to be stubborn in my love for my child…” Well said!
I read your blog all the time but this is my first time to comment. Thank you for your candid description of breast feeding. As a NICU nurse and lactation specialist I’ve seen so many women struggle with all sorts of breast feeding issues and your story is definitely inspiring. The struggle with your first and the much better experience with your second shows how each experience can be so different and trying to compare and judge yourself with others is not very helpful. I am pregnant with my first and plan on breast feeding as long as possible but who knows all my “book wisdom” may just be thrown out the window! Thanks for keepin it real!
I am so glad you are having such a sweet experience. It is much like my own… sort of.
With my first, he latched well at the hospital, so I went home thinking all is well. Then the screaming started, and the bleeding. And we found out he had forgotten how to latch while I was so sleep deprived that I was not on top of things. Oh, and that’s right…. I had no milk. Or very little milk. As in I would pump out 3mL when I needed to be pumping out 2oz in the first days. So we had to supplement, which broke my heart, and after all the “to do’s” to increase milk and make it all work, I was diagnosed at 7 weeks post partum with Insufficient Glandular Tissue and told I will never be able to exclusively breastfeed. With bleeding nipples (yes, still that many weeks later, in spite of using a shield, pumping, lanolin-ing it up like it was my job, etc) and a double staph infection/mastitis in both breasts…. I weaned and switched to exclusively formula feeding. My first son was actually relieved as he was so fussy on my thin breastmilk (I made about 99% foremilk and never got real hind milk no matter how much pumping, nursing, or lactation-inducing stuff I did) and didn’t seem to mind at all not getting anymore boob shoved in his mouth.
With my second son, I knew to relax going into it. I knew how it would end up, but I wanted him to get early weeks of colostrum and what little milk I could make just to boost his immune system a bit. It turned out to be a lifesaver since he was born via emergency c-section when he almost lost his heartbeat and didn’t get it back in labor, so it was a great bonding experience. He took right to nursing. He did great. Though I still had low supply, my milk came in easier, and I made more than I had with my first son (even with no lactation drugs!). He was snuggly and loved nursing, he was sweet, he knew what to do and did it perfectly.
I ended up nursing #2 till 12 weeks and was heartbroken to wean then, but it needed to be done since life was getting too stressful to handle the nursing + supplementing any longer and would’ve ruined the sweetness of it and made it a bitter experience again.
When we have #3 in a couple of years (praying for a VBAC!) I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to do all the work of nursing + supplementing again while chasing around 2 other kids by then, but we’ll see. But I am SO grateful to have had a sweeter experience with #2 after all the hard work that didn’t pay off with #1!
I am so glad you’re having a greater time with #2. I, too, bonded with my second much easier and faster and more sweetly than with my first (though my 2nd was a c-section with delayed meeting after birth, oddly) and have regained my confidence (and enjoyment) in my calling to be a mother and that God will equip me for the task to which he has called me.
PS: enjoy all those nursing snuggles for those of us who are unable! 🙂
I wept through this whole post – so happy for you!! (And I think I am ovulating, which may explain some of the overemoting – but seriously, so happy for you!)
Your baby is gorgeus! I mean both, of them. Every one in his own way. Will seems more like you and baby Weston is more like Jeremy. I think he has Jeremy’s eyes, and hair. The second pic in this post is simply adorable and sweet! Congratulations to you and JEremy, you got a beautiful family!
How awesome, Katie! I am so feeling all warm and fuzzy over this. I had a very rough time breastfeeding with my daughter and am definitely scared to go through it all again with #2. I can only hope it is like your experience! That second to last photo of you feeding Weston is amazing. I love it!
Definitely getting the right support can make a huge difference! Years ago, I found my local La Leche League to be helpful, as well veteran breastfeeding moms who had years of nursing experience under their belts (bras). These sources were WAY more helpful than the doctors who weren’t quite on the same page as I was. I had a great support group with my first, who was born at just 26 weeks. I ended up breastfeeding her until she was over 2 years old. The good thing is, the trials of a difficult breastfeeding experience help you later on down the road if you have another. My second and third were a breeze compared to #1! You can do it! 🙂
I am both encourated and scared at the same time reading your breastfeeding stories! So glad that it’s just a bliss for you the second time around!
I was hoping you’d be there, too! I just about have my husband talked into going with me…would love to meet you as well as J&S! =)
What a lovely post. Thank you for your honesty about how challenging nursing Will was. I, too, had some issues when I started nursing my son. Sometimes it can be hard to locate other moms who have had a hard time but chose to sick it out and keep their commitment to breast feeding. I’m so happy that Weston is a natural. The photo of you nursing is absolutely beautiful.
I started! Here is the first part!
xo – kb
That is insane. I’m so sorry to hear that.
xo – kb
Go Us is right;) beautiful post, your last couple sentences made me tear up!! Beautifully written, Katie.
Hi Katie,
No Will hasn’t really gotten jealous. He has asked for ‘mommy’s milk’ and I tell him that I will cuddle him but mommy’s milk is for Weston…usually a hug fixes any complaining 🙂 And I have no idea how Weston learned to sleep through the night. I didn’t do anything! And he sleeps on his back or on my chest…always make him on his back…even though he may prefer otherwise.
xo – kb
First of all, I’m so happy to hear things are going better this time around! What I really wanted to say, though…..That 4th pic, with Weston holding on to your shirt is so, so precious. It brought back so many breastfeeding memories for me. I sat and looked at it for a very long time (in a non-creppy way of course). It really just epitomizes nursing, at least for me. All that quiet time spent with my babies close to me. I looked down at that same scene so many times over the many months my boys nursed. Sure, there were times I hated it. But I also loved it very often and after looking at your picture, I realize how much I miss it.
Congratulations on your new baby!
Thanks for the sweet words. It’s been a tough week, tomorrow is my due date for the baby we lost and I never knew how much I would grieve for a baby I only carried for 16 weeks. It’s bittersweet now since I am pregnant again and this baby would not exist without the loss of the other, so it’s definitely pushed my emotions to their limits and I find myself trying really hard not to form an attachment to the baby I’m carrying. I know it sounds awful, but I just need everything to be okay and to protect myself until I know it will be. Life would be so much easier if we could just order babies up on amazon and skip the whole pregnancy part!
So sweet Katie 🙂
Glad to hear it!! We had a similar experience. Breastfeeding my first was SO hard, but the second time around it was fabulous! I am grateful for both experiences!
I’m happy it’s going well for you. My BFing experience with my first two was similar. Very difficult with the first and then near perfect with the second. I thought, wow I must be a pro at this! But then I had new obstacles with my 3rd and 4th. Nothing that stopped us, just enough to shake me back to reality and realize that every baby is different and BFing is rarely without it’s bumps.
Your family is just so beautiful. Congrats on your two gorgeous sons.
first time commenter, but just wanted to say how much i loved this post. i’m still sticking with nursing my 6 month old and loving it. (well, except for the fact that he won’t take a bottle, so i have a pretty short leash on me!) it truly is the sweetest thing ever. and your picture might just inspire me to take a picture, too since i have spent 50% of his life so far nursing him yet don’t have a single pic. what a great image to save forever! simply wonderful post!
I’m sure others have said it, but I really appreciate you sharing stories like this. People usually seem to talk about things like this in a way that makes it seem like their way is the only way. I appreciate that you feel strongly about what you’ve been able to do but don’t judge others for their choices.
Also, you guys make some seriously cute babies. Congrats 🙂
Awesome post! Thanks for keeping it real. I have a 6 month old and it is quite amazing how different they can act and how different they nurse. I’ve had difficulties with both of my kids nursing and I’ve had to use a shield (gasp!) but I’d rather use one than not nurse at all. Nursing is hard! Oh and Weston looks JUST like you! Wow! He’s a precious baby:)
I am so happy to hear you are having a better time with Weston and feeding. You are giving me hope for the second time around. 🙂 He is just so precious!
I’m so pleased it’s going well for you!
I was lucky enough to have skin to skin with my daughter despite a c-section. I was wearing my own buttoned nightie and once she was born and checked over the midwife who stayed with me unbuttoned my nightie and tucked my daughter inside while the anaesthetist covered us with blankets. It was wonderful and actually helped me, not just my daughter – my heart began to race when she was born and her lying on me brought it down. I’ll be forever grateful to the surgical team who looked after us – they knew how important this was to me, how disappointed I was to have an EMCS and they made sure I got this. Breastfeeding wasn’t easy but I feel like they set us on the right path from our first moments together.
Melanie, I also lost a little boy at just 17 weeks. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through. I was not prepared for how deeply the loss would affect me. But, I did get pregnant about 5 months after the miscarriage and went on to give birth to a very healthy little boy. I know what you mean about not wanting to get attached — it wasn’t until well into my fifth month did I let myself think about loving my baby (of course I did but didn’t want to admit it to myself). You will always remember that little one you lost but time (and your new little one) will bring new joy. 🙂 Praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby for you this time.
I don’t have kids yet, but reading stories like yours keeps reminding me that things will be different for every mom and baby. I hope that the constant reinforcement helps when I have my first.
Also, thanks for the “Holy Tim Tebow” thrown in there. I laughed out loud. at my desk at work.
In complete honesty – breast feeding is one of the things that scares me the most about becoming a momma! Thanks for candidly sharing your journey as a mother, Katie! So glad to hear that things are easier for you this time around!
Thank you for sharing your story. You are a very gifted writer. Both of my children are in their twenties and your story brings back nice memories.
I so agree that we all need to be loving and supportive of one another as parenting can be challenging at times.
LOVE the pictures.
God bless you and your family Katie!
Yay! What a great story! You are so super tough and such a great momma, fighting for your kids already. Can’t wait to hear the rest of the birth story 🙂
I had such a similar experience first vs. second! It’s beautiful, right?!
Beautiful! God bless you and your precious babies (and the hubs!). Thanks for sharing the good, bad and ugly! 🙂
Great post! Thank you! So glad it’s going well for you.
I had twins first up and breast feeding was HARD!!! Thankfully we made it through and your post gives me hope that next time might be a little smoother. Thanks again.
I never comment (but always read), but I just wanted to say how happy I am for you. Ever since reading about your breastfeeding experience with Will and then hearing that you were pregnant, I was wondering how things were going this time around. And I’m so glad that this time was, well, easy and cozy and cuddly.
^ Ha! I’ll add my voice to that cheer 🙂
I’m so glad it’s better this time. Can I ask a weird question based on a Friends episode? (Ignore this is the question is too weird and personal.) Have you ever tried your own breast milk?
haha…I’ve tasted it on my finger…not like a gulp from a cup (its too precious to waste!)
xo – kb
I am so very glad to hear your second experience is so much better. I became a Certified Lactation Educator over the summer and speak to many moms about their experiences and fears. One thing I hear all the time is how scared some moms are that one experience (birth, breastfeeding, etc) will be indicative of another. And it’s just not true. Just because you had one c-section doesn’t mean you have to have two. Just because you had a hard time nursing one baby doesn’t mean you’ll have a hard time nursing another. In fact, with each baby born, you develop a new layer of “milk receptor sites” and subsequently, should make more milk with each child! Amazing. Moms are amazing.
So happy for you, Katie. This post is going to be a wonderfully positive message for so many moms who had the same first experience as you!
Lauren, I’ve tried mine. So has my husband and my two best friends (one male and one female). It has a sweet, organic taste to it. If you think about it, drinking COW’S milk is WAY weirder than drinking human milk. LOL! In fact, we are the only species that drinks milk from another species.
Oh, and P.S. I’m still nursing my OWN baby at 19 months. No plans to stop yet!
It is so awesome to hear your story. My newest is 3 months and was a polar opposite than my first (much harder this time around pain wise but she sleeps so much better) but I love to hear others stories. Do you find it so fascinating to see the difference in their personalities from so young?! I totally agree that experiences are mostly based on the baby’s personality.
Yes children are all different! I commend you for sticking it through with Will and being open minded with Weston. Both our kids were completely different nursers, and I’m glad they had that precious breastmilk. I have to also add that your pictures are so adorable. It almost makes me want to have another baby!
Oh, you give me hope for my second baby who is due in April. I’m soooooooo hoping nursing goes better this time than the last.
I cannot say anything that hasn’t been said, but I celebrate with you. Nursing can be so difficult. Wishing you and your menfolk all good things.
I am very interested in becoming a lactation educator. I breastfeed my son (now 3) for 13 months and having fun again with my 1 month old daughter. How do I get started with certification?
I absolutely love the photo of you and Weston nursing. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen on the internet lately! My 3rd baby is now 4.5, and seeing this photo makes me nostalgic of our nursing days. I had a lot of pain with my first baby nursing, but I’m so glad I persevered, and it did get easier with each baby. Enjoy these precious moments!
W0w how our stories sound sooooo similar…I’m pregnant w/ my second son and I’m also crossing my fingers for a VBAC & successful BF. I also had a c-section & didn’t see my son for 3 hours after he was born while I was in ‘recovery’ which I think made all the difference (he was born overseas). So your story is encouraging. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for posting this, Katie! I don’t comment a lot, but I felt I had to this time. I’m expecting my second child in early May, and I had a VERY rough experience nursing my first child. When I let myself think about it, I get really nervous and anxious about how it will be nursing Baby #2. It’s so reassuring to see that the whole breastfeeding thing CAN go better a second time around. I’m really hoping I have a similar story to tell!
Sorry to chime in but I have 2 kids who are 18 months 3 days apart and luckily for me, my oldest is a girl and she would sit beside me and “nurse” her babies while I nursed her baby brother. Or she would color, do puzzles, watch a movie, etc. And like Katie said, it took 30 minutes tops for Zack to eat (unlike his sister who took about an hour!) so it was easy with nursing a baby while having a toddler. I wish you luck Paola and JustAng with nursing!
Thanks so much for sharing! My son is six months old and breastfeeding has been somewhat of a struggle (though not nearly as rough as yours with Will). It’s encouraging to hear both of your experiences, especially the fact that you kept at it with Will! So many people just suggest giving up and formula feeding but I’ve stuck with it and have never even given a bottle. I definitely think it’s worth the struggle and I’m glad there are people like you talking about it! It helps the rest of us feel normal!
That is insane! I hope you don’t ever let another doctor stop you from what you want to do with/for your children. My doctor encouraged me to nurse more with my youngest son to help his jaundice.
I am so glad that you are having a better experience this time. My first baby, Emilee, had colic and she took about an hour to eat each time. It didn’t hurt as bad as what you described with Will but it was exhausting!! My second baby was a dream! Like Weston, Zackary slept ALL the time and he nursed so well. My third and final baby was also a nursing champ! I am so fortunate and consider it a huge blessing that I was able to nurse for 11 months, 7 months, and 8 months.
Hi Katie!
I have 4 boys and nursing my first 10 yrs ago was similar to your situation with Wil (c-sec and all)l…I unfortunately only made it 6 weeks….I didn’t try wth my 2nd…a vbac….but did with my 3rd(vbac) after months of research, preparing and taking a class…we did great for 8 mos….I got pregnant again and had to stop…my 4th(vbac) is 16 mos and we are slowly weaning…so glad you posted it’s good to know others go through it! and get it!
Oh this post just made me bawl my eyes out! No joke! I have an almost 10 year old boy and almost 3 year old boy……nursed both. First to 15 months, second boy to 22 months. And I was so blessed both were fierce eaters and LOVED to nurse from day one. Think the tears came from your honesty and me missing nursing my babies who are now growing into little men….lovely lovely little men but at moments sure is easy to miss the babies they once were. I stumbled upon your blog about a year ago and check on it everyday….I love the way you write and enjoy travelling on your journey of motherhood with you. I was a working mama with my first as I owned a children’s boutique but took some time off and stayed home with my second……now I am running a somewhat new business full time while managing the kids 100%……so thank you for allowing me to have a glimpse into your life and thank you for making my morning coffee(or late in the day coffee as it is today) that much sweeter as I sip and read your posts! xo Sarah
Thank you for sharing. My son is 5 1/2 months and while I didn’t have the same experience as you had with Will, it was similar. We’re just starting to hit our groove. Your story about breastfeeding with Weston gives me so much hope for future wee ones. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for this post! I’m so glad to hear things are going well with Weston. Your post about Will helped me so much as I struggled with significant pain for the first several months of breastfeeding. Thanks for your encouragement to keep going! We’re at 6.5 months and still breastfeeding. Yay!
PS–What a cutie pie that Weston is! 🙂
So happy to hear this time is going well!!
You mentioned you knew how to manage engorgement…I must know how you did that? I experienced very little with my first, but am nervous about the second. What was your method???
Congrats again!
Well, I only pumped if ABSOLUTELY necessary…never more than once in a 24 hour period…because I didn’t want to mess with my supply if I couldn’t keep up. And I alternated heat and cold. So heat right before nursing to allow for letdown and cold packs after nursing to help with the pain. I’ve heard cabbage leaves in the freezer…but I didn’t do it 🙂 Also, I would never skip a session…I would wake up Weston at night for that first week…and I always did the massage so that any ducts would get emptied (to help prevent mastitis). Hope this helps!
xo – kb
YAY really is for you! Those first months can be brutal and you made it through! Good job mama!
xo – kb
I’m a doctor. Severe jaundice can cause irreversible brain damage. Breastfeeding is well known to increase jaundice. You don’t know exactly what kind of situation the little one was in (or the pathophysiology of jaundice), so I wouldn’t be so quick to judge treatment decisions.
Please please PLEASE tell me how to make my 4 month old sleep that long! He is a very very punctual baby and demands the boob every 3 hours exactly, all day and all night. While I am very lucky and grateful that he is calm and quiet, I am so freakin tired and need to sleep more than 2 hours at a time… What am I doing wrong here?
On another note, so happy that everything is much easier for you this time! I’m a long time reader and adore you and your blog!
Katie – I am so stinkin’ happy that nursing is going so well this time around. Breastfeeding is no joke, and I think that more people need to share experiences. Also, that little guy may be the cutest thing. Like ever.
I don’t think you are doing anything wrong…it’s just how different babies are! I know it’s tough…that was how Will was (and still is – horrible sleeper!). You are doing great!
xo – kb
You are right. I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. I assumed that the baby had newborn jaundice and breastfeeding would help…but I do still feel sorry for her because I know that connection was lost.
xo – kb
Too true – it is really awful that whatever happened caused her to lose that connection… I definitely can’t imagine that was the goal 🙁 Sorry I reacted, it is just that sometimes I find that people can be so critical of any medical decisions surrounding childbirth and infants (c-sections, formula-feeding, jaundice treatment, it goes on and on…) without always knowing the context of the decision or really understanding the biology of it. Doctors are moms and dads, too. Anyways… I’m so glad that you’ve had a good experience this time. Best of luck.
Greetings to you and your entire family. I am a recent newcomer to your blog and first time commenter. I commend you on your honesty and your willingness to share with the virtual world your journeys as a wife and mom. It seems like we (women) are hardest on ourselves and equate our value to the things we can or cannot do rather than the beings we are. I’ve been married for nine years, and after eight years of medical complication after medical complication, I have finally been cleared to even “try” to get pregnant.
I will never be able to breastfeed. I had extensive mandatory reconstructive breast surgery almost a year ago so there is nothing left (on the inside) for me to breastfeed with. Because of other complications, I will only be able to deliver babies by C-section. While some would (and have even told me) that I am tragic, I am not. I am a woman with the capacity to carry life and the genius to make sure that my babies don’t starve, even if their nourishment doesn’t come directly from me. My limitations only make room for greater miracles and I praise my God that I am even alive today! There is no sadness, guilt, or shame for me because I have decided to “be” present in whatever moment I find myself in.
So I said all of that to say this, I appreciate the fact that you choose not to judge. You’re blessed, so take it easy on yourself from time to time, okay? I know we all want the best for those we love, but we need to make sure that those we love include ourselves. Whether we can or cannot conceive, the ways in which we give birth or how we feed, being human in our reactions to sickness, grief, or the ups and downs of life, all are no comparison to the incredible beings we are. You are a beautiful, passionate, uniquely designed woman crafted by God, so I hope that in this new adventure of your life, you will continue to breathe, to live, to love, to laugh often, and most importantly, just be…
Katie, Thanks for sharing about this! I am currently nursing my 8 month old and although we never had a difficult time with it I can certainly empathize with those who do. Great job sticking with it. Thanks for being so candid with your experiences. It is so encouraging to hear other moms share their stories and know that we all struggle with things. I’m so happy for you that you had a successful VBAC. I can’t wait to hear about how it all went down!
Kimberly
This made me cry! I had a nightmare of a story from emergency c, to using attach on nipples, and a lactation nurse who bruised my babys face teaching her to suck. I even was told by a nurse around 2am my baby couldnt leave if she lost more weight and maybe I should use formula. Anyways, I came home with more terrible luck; baby blues, a colic baby and an ER trip around 5 weeks old. I sadly quit trying and just pumped. I hope to be pregnant again soon and know I can and will rock it better next time! Thanks for the hope and great story.
i went through the same experiences…my first child it was so hard to nurse, everyone i spoke to kept telling me my baby was not latching on right. while i read your previous story, it brought back so many [horrible] memories. i had to stop nursing. i couldn’t do it. then with my second, i wanted to try again, and it was still painful but not like my first experience. glad to know i wasn’t the only one.
So happy you’re having a better go’round with Weston! I had a lot of the same issues with my son. He’s 9 weeks now and it’s much better now. I had his frenulum clipped and it helped SO MUCH. He still flails and kicks at times, but I have an over active let down and oversupply, so he’s constantly choking/drowning on milk. I still love it though. I love the weight of his little body in my arms and the sounds he makes. It makes me so happy.
Hey Katie! I can’t thank you enough for sharing your breastfeeding stories – the good and the bad. =) I’ve been a long-time blog follower so I read your first bf post when you wrote it but at that time I had no children and had not yet been through an unfortunately similar saga. So when you posted your second post, I went back and read the first again.
Can I just say that you are super strong and your fight to bf is inspiring! I have a 4.5 month old now who was about as wild as could be. A total hot mess. (I just wrote about this here: http://dacandalisha.blogspot.com/2013/04/being-mama-hoo-rah-for-ta-ta-milk.html)
My little man had a bad latch among other things, I had some major boobie trauma, and I ended up exclusively pumping which I’m thrilled I’m able to do but it’s not exactly easy or convenient either – plus I’m starting to struggle with supply. Your first post made me feel not quite so alone in the negative experience department and your second post gave me the hope that next time might be different. I’m even considering trying to nurse Reid again now! We’ll see how it goes. =) Thanks for your honesty and encouragement. I love your blog and am thrilled this time has been so much more positive for you!
That’s not true! Cats love cows milk, they just can’t get it themselves!
Reading this post just made my day! I’m expecting #2 and my delivery and breastfeeding for #1 were both rough to say the least. #1 was 10 pounds 9 ounces and after pushing for three hours, he had to be delivered with a vacuum assist (if that failed, it would have been an emergency c-section). He breastfed right away…around the clock. It drove me nuts. Then I got mastitis–three or four times. My breasts went from a 32 B before baby to a 32 H/I. I’m not kidding. I’m a little nervous about the milk flowing more this time around (ha), but I hope that my experience mimics yours—an easier one the second time around.
So glad that you gained something from your first experience and that the second time was the charm. Hope it’s still going well. (Visiting from YHL.)
Best to you and your family!!
You poor thing!
xo – kb
I had a terrible time bf with my first, so thanks for the hope that it can be different!! Do u have a link to the page with the story where u talk about bf’ing your first? I’d love to read it!
I do. Here is the link.
xo – kb