WE RECOMMEND YOU READ PART 1, PART 2, AND PART 3 OF WILL’s BIRTH STORY BEFORE THIS POST.
“C’mon. You gotta see it. It’s huge.” I read the books…this was not ‘quarter-sized’…this sucker could have kept the Titanic from sinking. And Jeremy knew that he wasn’t gonna get to walk away now. I had him cornered.
“Fine.” He looked at what I held out and then looked back at my face. “Wow.” He said it completely void of emotion.
“yeah. I know.” I was actually surprised that he didn’t ask for a divorce right then and there. Or at least a separation. Or marriage counseling. At the very least a late night phone call to Delilah to get some on-air radio advice about being married to a crazy pregnant woman.
My single thought about this man was that he must really love me. Immediately in my heart I forgave him for not answering my phone call earlier that day. It was so easy to love him. It was so easy to imagine my baby boy being exactly like him. It was enough to make me crave my next crampy feeling.
Later that night, my mom and dad stopped by again to check on my progress. They told me that they just wanted to hang out…but I knew that my mom was anticipating a flood that rivaled Katrina’s aftermath. But my fluids all stayed intact. The cramps, however, continued. They continued as my dad assembled the mobile over the crib. They continued as I straightened my hair. They continued as I chugged glasses of water and frequently visited my favorite porcelian pot.
“Honey…why don’t we time the contractions?” my mom asked softly.
“Because they aren’t anything…it won’t make any difference. I won’t be one of those girls that goes into the hospital the night before she is going to be induced only to find out that I am not dialating…it would be embarrassing.” I tried to argue with her while breathing through the contraction. These cramps were happening closer together but the intensity hadn’t changed. It still seemed like nothing more than a regular day with Mother Nature.
“Well, according to my watch, they are about two to five minutes apart. And it’s been that way for the past hour. When do you plan on going in?”
“When my water breaks.” I answered bluntly. A fierce cramp seized my belly. I tried to focus all my attention on my breathing while leaning up against the door jam. My mother reached over to rub my shoulder as I inhaled deeply. “Pray mom. Please pray.” I begged her.
“Lord, thank you for this unborn child. We praise you for allowing Katie to go into labor…”
“NO! Not like that!” I interupted, “Don’t pray for the baby. Pray for little things. Thank him for butterflies and birds. Be creative!” Didn’t she understand that I needed a diversion? Why the heck would you bring up the baby now?! While I am suffering through this contraction? That’s not a distraction! That’s salt in my wound, woman!
She just chuckled in amazement. She obviously didn’t fully understand why I was asking prayer for insects. But she tried anyway…”Thank you Lord for butterflies and birds. Thank you for the beauty in your world.” The cramp subsided. It was obvious that I needed to go to bed. I was getting crankier by the minute.
“Mom…we are just gonna head to bed. The induction is scheduled for 5 am…which is in, like, 5 hours…so we better get some rest. We’ll see you at the hospital…and if anything happens before then, we’ll call. ok?” I wanted to just curl up in my covers and close my eyes. I wanted to be able to spoon with Jeremy and feel his arm against my cheek. I wanted to just make the next five hours fly by so that I didn’t need to give another thought about the Pitocin and how it makes things more painful.
We said our goodbyes and started getting ready for bed. Jeremy started double-checking the car to make sure that everything was ready for our early morning departure. He started doing his night-time routine…tidy things up, check. doors, check. lights, check. change, wash, brush, check, check, check. I sat in the bedroom watching him in awe. He was such a caregiver. Such a servant. Such a good provider. I had really married up. I continued to dwell on what a good man he was as I went to the bathroom for the millionth time. And that’s when it hit me.
No, it wasn’t my water breaking. It was a very bad case of the chills.
I was completely freezing from head to toe. My jaw started chattering like a jackhammer. There was no way to control it. It was so unexpected, so startling, that I didn’t know how to react. And that unknown was scary. I hadn’t heard of anyone suddenly becoming frozen during labor…did this mean something was wrong?! Jeremy came over and realized that something was not right with me instantly. I explained that I was very cold and couldn’t stop shaking…but I think that the fear in my face was more of a concern with him than my temperature. He rubbed my shoulders and held me close but I still couldn’t warm up. The two minutes that I shivered in his arms felt like two hours. That’s when I thought…it’s time. Let’s go to the hospital.
Jeremy only hesitated for a half second before realizing that I was serious. It was go time!
As we arrived at the hospital, the labor & delivery floor was empty except for a dozen nurses chatting in their station. I was escorted into a room to change into a hospital gown and wait to be shown into a laboring room. Jeremy was on the phone with his dad – letting him know that we went ahead into the hospital and that we would have more information soon. Since it was 3 am our nurses decided that I should be given a permanent labor room and checked to see if I started dialating.
This was the moment. The moment where I was convinced the nurse would look up from beneath my hospital gown to tell me that nothing was happening. The moment where I was going to be labeled “false laborer”.
“You have done a lot of work today. You are 4 cm and 70% effaced.”
I was shocked. What an amazing gift! I was going to be induced only 2 hours from now! And this meant only one thing…my baby was ready. My baby was not being forced from his ripe and thick home to enter the world! My baby was coming on his own accord. My heart was full. It was enough to make me welcome with a smile the next contraction.
During my own personal joyfest, I had one nurse insert an IV and hook me up to a bag of fluids while the other nurse strapped monitors to my midsection to listen to the fetal heartbeat and to see my contractions. The main nurse explained to me that she was going to be on duty only for a couple more hours and that I would need to be hooked up to the monitors at least 15 minutes of every hour. All I could think was about how I would cope with laying in that bed for 15 minutes. Every moment on my back felt three times longer than it actually was. It wasn’t a surprise…I knew that being in bed would be my least favorite part of labor. But I also knew that it was manditory…no amount of whining would get me outta this one. I was stuck…both literally and figuratively.
“So how long do I have? Like till the I get fully dialated?” I had a million questions but the only thing I wanted to know was the extent that I would have to wait till I was face to face with my little lovechild.
“Well, every labor is different. But in general, there is an algarhythm that we go by…every centimeter of dialation takes about 1 to 2 hours.” The nurse said before turning to check the monitors.
My mom, who had arrived at this point, excitedly grabbed my hand and said “Katie – that means you’ll definitely have the baby by 3 in the afternoon!” Her smile was taking up her whole face. Today she was going to become a grandmother all over again. Her excitement was pouring out of her eyesockets.
The next three hours flew by. The contractions continued and our plan of attack was to change activities every hour. It seemed to be working. We walked around the labor & delivery floor. We pulled out the labor ball. We plugged up our ipod with our labor song playlist. We visited the waiting room. We pushed Cole around on my IV cart. We visited with arriving friends and family members.
The most comfortable way for me to get through each contraction was actually just hugging Jeremy. Leaning my head on his shoulder and having my arms wrapped around his neck gave me a sense of calm. And I loved being able to share the burden of my body with the man that I loved.
Six in the morning arrived and with it came a shift change in the nurses. My main nurse was named Amirah…I called her Amy for short. She was a tall black girl that had her head of dark hair wrapped up in a bun with a beautiful piece of fabric. The wrap was perfect for her complexion. It made her big dark eyes even warmer and next to her face, her mocha colored skin glowed. When she entered the room, the first thing she did was come over to me as I laid in the bed and ask if it was okay to have a student nurse in the room as I labored. I had heard that sometimes this was a possibility and I was thrilled to nod yes. Amy then introduced me to Faith. Faith was older than what I imagined the typical student nurse. She had a maturity in her eyes that gave me a peaceful feeling. And when she came over and talked about her own children, I immediately liked her.
I reveled in the happiness that I had such personable nurses especially since I knew that these would be in the room more often than any doctor. Plus, it seemed like they both were supportive of my efforts to ‘go natural’ with my labor. And that additional support ran me over with gratefulness. It actually made it easy to thank the nurses each time they came in to the room or gave me instructions.
When my new nurses settled in, I was bursting to do one thing…get in the tub. I had always dreamed of laboring in water. The only thing standing in my way was getting back in bed and being monitored. After the 15 minutes of struggling in the bed, Amy said that she would check me and then we would be able to get ready for the water-labor.
“I would say you are a 5/6. So you are progressing slowly but it shouldn’t be a problem.” She said matter of factly.
Ok. Ok. That’s sortof what the previous nurse said would happen. I tried to remember the formula and do the math with the pain of the contraction. I decided to not overanalyze. Just focus on the here and now. Focus on the contraction. Focus on my breathing. Focus on the tub.
The process to get ready was tedious. Faith and Amy wrapped my IV with a plastic bag and tape and ran to get me several towels. As I stepped into the warm water, the feeling of relaxing literally washed over me. The water rose above my shoulders and my muscles melted into the back of the tub. I felt like I could finally breathe.
“Jeremy, will you hit the button again?” the jets had shut off taking with them my sense of calm and peace.
He needed to sleep. He had stayed up all night with me and was fading. Jeremy reached up and pushed the button to get the engines started again. The gurgle of the jets began and I shifted my weight to get the bubbles on the sorest part of my back. Jeremy sunk his head into his hands and rested momentarily. He didn’t get to relax very long before we heard a knock on the bathroom door.
“Katie, your doctor – Dr. Hood, came by to see you but since you were in the tub, he decided that he would come back after you finished. ok?” Amy asked like I had a say in the matter.
“Ok. thank you!” I peeked out the open door. The clock indicated that it was already 8 am! I can’t believe that I’ve been here already for 5 hours! It seems like it flew by! I am doing it…I am really doing it!
The time for the tub came to an end really soon as I climbed out to get back in the prison of a bed. But I didn’t realize that this time, I had a surprise waiting for me. As soon as I was strapped in, Faith came to me and said that her instructor was a midwife and if it was alright with me, that she would get her to see if she had any labor advice.
“Really?!” I had originally signed up for a midwife but the doctor’s office had to cancel their midwifery practice because of the economy. This opportunity was unbelievable! I knew that Jeremy was exhausted and having new blood in the room would be revitalizing…both mentally and physically. “Yes…I’d love that!”
The midwife had more than supportive advice…she actually came down and spent the next half hour in the room…helping me as I labored in that bed. Her tips and advice were great. Push here, lay here, breathe like this, relax here, rub this…it seemed like she had known me my entire life and knew exactly what I needed to conserve my energy while still focusing my efforts.
“You are doing amazing!” She complimented me. “You are doing everything right. You are relaxing very well through each contraction. Make sure you do your cleansing breath. And if something seems to be working, keep doing it.”
I followed her advice to the letter. Each time that a contraction felt like it was about to begin, I sucked in deeply and focused my full energy on breathing slowly and deeply. In my mind, I began visualizing my toes relaxing, then my feet, then my ankles, my calves, all the way up to my eyebrows…everything was forced into a lazy place of relaxation. The only part that wouldn’t submit was my hips. It felt like all my pain and frustration was coming to a head right inside my hip flexors.
“Rub my hips!” I said over and over to Jeremy & my little sister. Their fingers would dig in below my hip bones forcing them into submission. My head tossed back and forth. Finally the contraction would end and I opened my eyes to see them smiling at the fact that I got through another one.
It went like this for the rest of the morning. I was at 4 centimeters at 3 am. I was at 5/6 at 6 am. At 9 am I was at 6/7 cm. Then at 2pm I was at 7/8 cm. With such slow progress, I decided that maybe I would benefit from another dip in the tub. I called Amy into the room and we started the process of getting everything water-tight and me undressed. I hadn’t been in the warm bubbly water very long when I got the news that the doctor was coming and he wanted to check me.
Although I was disappointed in getting out of the relaxing water, I hadn’t actually seen my doctor yet. As I climbed onto the table and got strapped back into the monitors, Jeremy held my hand reminding me that maybe the doc would think I was progressing farther along than the nurse.
Dr. Hood entered the room in a hurry. He came over and greeted us and I was immediately reminded why other patients had warned us of him. He had a very salty bedside manner.
“Let’s check you…” He sat in the chair at the end of my bed. Jeremy squeezed my hand as Dr. Hood pulled out what looked like a knitter’s hook.
“I’m gonna need a towel.” My brain ran wild. Like a grazing gazelle who suddenly spotted a predator. Panic set in. Why the heck did he say that? Nobody else needed a towel to check me…
Suddenly I realized what was happening. At the same moment, the hook was being inserted and Amy said “He’s going to break your water…”
I didn’t hear her. All I could focus on was closing my legs and saying “WHOA!!! Whoa Whoa Whoa!”
My heart was beating a mile a minute. Why was this happening? There was no discussion. No explanation. No warning.
“Can we talk about this for a second?” I couldn’t believe what was happening. I thought I had made my birth plan very clear…let’s try natural…let’s try. If it doesn’t work or I don’t want to continue…we can quit…but until then…let’s try.
The Doc stood up in a hurry clearly agitated by the interuption. He huffed over to the trash can while ripping off his gloves. The snap of the latex and the swish of the trash bag were the only sounds in the room.
“You need to think about how long you are going to let this continue.” He said firmly. He continued talking but I couldn’t continue listening through my frustration. Why wasn’t he apologizing? Why didn’t he explain things before he tried to stab my babies watery bubble? This is wrong. This is very very wrong.
I barely processed the situation as the doctor stormed out of the room. As the door was shutting, Jeremy angrily cursed. His opinion of the doctor was clear to everyone in the room.
“JEREMY!” I couldn’t believe he cursed! What if the doctor heard? What if he held it against us? I looked up at the nurses for an answer. Any answer would be nice. Any explanation. Any support. Faith was the first to speak…
“You are right. He shouldn’t have done that.”
When I was in labor I had a nurse say “Are you sure you don’t want the epidural? You do know that the contractions are going to get 1000 times worse, don’t you?” Can you believe it. The nerve. So much for being supportive of a woman trying to give birth naturally! Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your birth story! You are an excellent writer! 🙂
What an a**! that Doctor should have known better than to mess with a laboring woman! We had 2 natural homebirths- I am shaking my fist at that darn doctor!!!
The shaking you experienced is part of transition! very normal 🙂
can’t wait to hear the rest!
http://www.housemadehome.net
I am riveted to your birth story. Things are done so differently there in the US than here in the UK. My eyebrows shot right up to my hairline when I read what your doctor did (or tried to)!! Thanks so much for sharing your birth story so far, I can’t wait to read more (no pressure, I know what life with a new baby is like!)
wow, cant wait for the rest of it!!! And isnt that amazing that one of your nurses names was faith? God reminds us in the littlest ways sometimes!
More, More =)
A Cliffhanger! Nooooooooooo
Katie Bower, I hope part 5 is coming later today because you are ABSOLUTELY killing me by spreading these out so far…. please put a rush on the next one, I can’t wait much longer!
Wow – I can’t believe he wouldn’t at least discuss your options with you before doing anything drastic. Especially since you were comfortable and there wasn’t a serious emergency going on. Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.
Part 5? You’re killin me.
OH MY GOD!!!! Thank you for sharing this story. Good for you sticking to your birth plan mamas! I can’t believe the dr was going to break your water without letting you know….did you happen to see the documentary about childbirth…I forget the name…your story rings a tone of why its SO important to your own advocate and really know what you want. Go Katie!!!
I’m so glad you are sharing this with us! You’ve got me on the edge of my seat! I can’t believe that doctor! I hope you asked for someone else!
I am so enjoying your story. Thank you so much for sharing it. You have inspired me to start recording my stories. If you have any time/interest in seeing what you motivated me to write, check out http://theruffhouse6.blogspot.com/ The story of my Caleb
Thank you!
Good for you to speak up. When Faith said “he should not have done that” I hope the “he” refers to the Dr an not your cursing husband. That Dr sounds like a jerk!!! I hope that mid wife delivered for you!!!!!!
I’m hanging on every word…
I promise I will *try* to wait patiently for the next installment, and I am SO sorry that Doctor had no people skills at all.
Hoping Part 5 yields happier results!!
Aw man! I hate that he did that! What a drag! I can’t believe how presumptuous he was – you were doing amazing, showing no signs of stress and he just came in and was a big fat punk! Boo hiss!!
Okay, but I’m with the others – not so much time between installments! You’re a great storyteller.
Wow! I can’t believe your doctor. There is a chapter in Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth that discusses how a woman’s labor can slow or stop completely when they are made to feel unsafe and threatened. I found the information fascinating because I had never thought about that before but it makes perfect sense. I am so sorry that this was your experience – how awful. Thanks for sharing your story, you’re a great writer and I look forward to the rest. Blessings on you!
More more more!!! I can’t wait any longer. I would have kicked that Dr. in the -you know what-. I’ve never heard of a doctor just going in and stabbing away. What a jerk…and by ‘jerk’ I mean *** **** ****** ****** Not gonna curse around the baby.
wow… I am just loving reading your story! And wow, your Dr. sounds like a real jerk 🙁 You were having such an amazing experience with your fab nurses and amazing family all for him to waltz in and try to force you onto his schedule… jerk. Anyways… I look forward to part 5 and hearing how precious Will finally made his appearance into the world.
maybe I’m ignorant, but why wouldn’t you want them to break your water? my doc broke mine? I thought it was standard?
Wow! I’ve read about doctors like that, but I wasn’t sure they actually existed. You are confirming my decision to use a midwife!
I could string together a list of expletives right now that would make a truck driver blush. Seriously. What a $^#&*@&)*. He was completely out of line and should have been fired on the spot. Not that as a woman in labor you can always think clearly in the moment to do something like that, but for reals . . . WHAT WAS HE THINKING? It is kind of atrocious how some docs approach the birthing process. I wish you were done with the story so I knew how it turned out with the $#!@% doc, but I’ll be as patient as I can be. More than he was apparently. Speaking of, have you ever seen The Business of Being Born? Very interesting documentary which includes a decent amount of data on this very phenomena in this country. P.S. Sorry for the fake expletives. This kind of thing drives me out of my mind. Birthing is a natural process that God gave us to bring our children into the world. Why is it that it has become so commonplace to intervene when things are going along smoothly albeit at a “slow” pace? Seriously. The doc is sick of waiting? That’s your job! You wait til the baby comes and make sure that kid doesn’t hit the floor on the way out. Mmmkay? Otherwise let the mommy breathe it out and bring the baby into this world as peaceful as possible!
Katie Bower, you should write a book!
Definitely get a different doctor for the next baby! And, I too hope we don’t have to wait long for part 5!!!
Wow, I hope when you guys get some time, you file a polite but firm complaint with the hospital or doctor’s office. That’s just not right… and you might help other ladies that way.
I can’t believe you stopped there! I am currently two days overdue and just scheduled my induction for next Friday morning (but am really hopeful that it will happen on it’s own before then!). I too want to go natural and I am really nervous because my doctor is out of town late next week so even though she is on board I very well may be meeting a new doctor the day I give birth (my doctor delivers 95% of her patients…lucky me to most likely end up in the other 5%).
So anyway…your story has me COMPLETELY on edge and I can’t wait to hear the rest!
WOW! Sounds like you were handling your labor GREAT!! I am very disappointed with Dr. Hood… He should not be treating a woman in labor like a medical experiment…To do something that invasive to another person’s body without permission, is just plain WRONG!!! I would be mad too… That probably slowed labor even more, because it made you feel unsafe, NOT COOL!
Grrr…
I had my two boys at home, and my water did not break until I was ready to push, which is when I was fully dilated… To me, breaking the water before that point seems a little pre-mature and unnecessary?
At least you had great nurses!! Sorry about the Dr.!! Love your stories, thank you so much for your beautiful writings!!!
I’m riveted!
But I do have one suggestion–and I’m not meaning to say that you should change your birth story: I think you should be calling the “tall black girl” a “tall black woman”. I sincerely doubt she’s a girl.
Anyway, I mean no disrespect.
Wow, that is insane. What a jerk. Even though I don’t know you at all, it made me angry reading this. Makes you wonder why someone like that would become an OB/GYN in the first place if they are so completely inconsiderate and unwilling to even talk to their patients. With both my kids, my water didn’t break until I was almost 10cm dilated. Sounds like you were progressing really well, even if it didn’t fit neatly into their “algorithm.” Good for you for sticking up for yourself and what you wanted! Can’t wait to read the rest of the story…
I love your story!! You are so great at telling them. 🙂 I am so sorry about the doctor part. He should have at least mentioned to you what the next thing he was going to do was. I had a midwife throughout my pregnancy and it was great! Looking forward to hearing the rest of the story!!! 🙂
Can’t wait for the next chapter! I’m rooting for you & your birth plan (even tho it already happened)! Your doctor’s attitude is exactly why we went with a midwife-supervised home-birth for our second child. You’re a great story teller!
OH MY GOD. The nerve of that douche bag. Good for you for sticking up for yourself!
Good for you not letting him break your water! I can’t believe he was going to do it without asking you!
Hi Katie F.
Don’t get me wrong…if the doctor had explained to me what he wanted to do up front, I would have agreed. To me it was more a problem that there was no discussion prior to attempting the procedure. I’m a big supporter of communication….especially when it comes to poking a stick up my yahoo 🙂
XO – Katie
Dude, that’s a Doctor that was thinking, “Hurry up, Katie! I’ve got a date tonight!” I’ll bet money that’s what was going on in his mind….not to be judgmental of this doc, but don’t think I’d want him delivering my kid…
I am so glad you got to do the labor without pitocin- I had it and had no idea what I was in for- the first contraction felt like someone was tearing my legs off my body!
Seriously Katie, when are you going to write a book!? You really are good with the story telling…and cliff hangers!
Oh, I would have been so flippin’ mad if my doctor had tried to do that. Its so unfortunate that many doctors just want to rush you through your pregnancy instead of letting things happen naturally, at their own pace. Good for you for questioning him! I can’t wait to see what Part 5 brings.
That doctor was a jerk!!! Unbelievable! On a different note, I LOVE Delilah. Her voice is so soothing.
Yeah my Doctor did the same thing, but I wasn’t even 2cm dialated. My sons heart rate dropped and then I ended up needing a ceserian. Now 3 cecerians later, its not safe for me to have the 4th child that I planned. I tell ya, these doctors these days. Its becoming rare to hear of a vaginal birth:-(
That doctor had some nerve!!!
I’m so glad we finally got part 4 but so sad it ended with a cliffhanger 🙁 Please, don’t keep us waiting to long for part 5 (hopefully the last chapter).
I had a sort of similar story. I was in labor for several days (starting and stopping), finally planned an induction. Night before the induction I finally started having regular labor and headed to the hospital. When I got there I was about 4 cm I think. Anyway, to make a long story short, I had all sorts of plans of natural childbirth but when my doctor came to see me that morning she explained that I was so exhausted from no sleep for 3 days that I really should get and epidural, get my water broken, and get on some pitocin. I was sort of irritated but took her advice and did have a vaginal delivery several hours later. Even though it wasn’t what I planned, in the end I had a safe delivery and a healthy baby. With my son, I had to have a planned c-section because of a low cord issue discovered several weeks before he was due. Now I’m pregnant with #3 and I don’t know yet what route we’ll be taking. Don’t feel bad that things didn’t turn out as you had planned. The most important thing is that you are okay and that you have a handsome beautiful son.
I can’t express how grateful I am for your in depth description of your birth experience (earlier installments have had me in tears of excitement). As an expecting mum, I have amazing support,people will answer any questions you have, but I don’t know what to ask! Having someone explain the way it was for them in such detail has been better then any magazine or book I have looked at! Thanks so much, obviously we all know how it ends, but I am looking forward to the next installment!
Oh!!! I’m so excited to read the rest of this!!! The anticipation is killing me!!
Also, from the point of view of someone who is not yet pregnant but intends to be in a years time (gotta get the wedding out of the way!), this is all amazing to hear. Most people seem to hush up about the little details or the things that go wrong and just focus on the baby being there. I understand the positive thinking, but it’s wonderful to hear everything so that if I’m in the same situation, I’ll know that I’m not alone.
You’re a wonderful inspiration, Katie!
You are such a good writer! I can’t wait to hear the next part of the story. Oh and this past week, I got to be the student nurse in a delivery room. It was very exciting! Birth is an AMAZING MIRACULOUS thing! 🙂
OMGosh the anticipation is killing me!!
Can’t wait to read Part 5!!!
Grrr that makes me so mad!! This just reinforces my desire to have a home birth if possible when (if) I eventually have a baby.
Wow, thank you so much for going into detail of your experience through labor. I am due in 3 weeks so it’s comforting to hear what you went through, how it all worked, felt, etc.. As much as we can read about how labor might be like, hearing it from someone definitely helps ease the mind instead of feeling like your still wondering about the unknown. You are helping me a lot with this blog and I thank you. I love the baby pics, please keep those coming! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this story, I can’t wait fo the next installment. Hope all is well with you and the baby getting into a routine. Hint Hint would love a post on that in the future.
I shake my virtual fist at the Doctor. What he did is AWFUL! ‘The Business of Being Born’ should be required watching for all. Good for you!
I love reading this, thank you so much for sharing with us in such a special way. I’ve cried, laughed, and been irritated. I am amazed by your strength and character, such a beautiful story. I cannot believe the doctor did that and without even telling you first, I would be very mad as well. You are a great writer 🙂
omegosh. You are killing me! I am glad you said something. I am sad to admit that I probably woul have sat there disappointed and not spoken up. I need to change that.
OMG OMG! What nerve! I probably would have kicked him right in the face! You HAVE to tell us more, this is great!!!
OMG I want to SLAP that doctor.. the nerve!!!!! What a JERK!!!! Ok glad I got that out!
on another note… dude… your killing me with the suspense!!!!!! I hope another part of this story is on its way… and SOON!!!
Oooh, this makes my doula skin crawl! I’m so sorry he did that to you! Glad you had good nurses and didn’t have to start with pitocin at least, but this is the worst cliffhanger of all. At least I know there’s a happy ending: a beautiful, healthy Will in your arms!
After reading this…please tell me that you are going to go to a midwife with your next pregnancy. Midwives are always willing to listen to what you want and come to a plan of care TOGETHER!
Lia, CNM
Good for you, Katie, taking control! That’s why I loved having homebirth and a midwife who explained everything at length to both of us throughout all three births.
Every installment of your saga just makes me tear up.
This is my biggest fear about delivery – a doctor who won’t let me progress as long as I can naturally. Thank you for sharing – anxious to hear the rest!
I am LOVING reading your birth story! It’s so riveting and personal. And Will is adorable. 🙂
“You need to think about how long you are going to let this continue.” I still can’t get over a doctor saying that to a women in labor. Did you REALLY have a choice in the matter?! LOL! Every labor is different so what works for one person might not work for another,etc. Seems like so many doctors are in a rush to deliver babies these days. They don’t want to spend what might be hours waiting to make the delivery. When it all comes down to it you need to do what is best for you and your baby. I’m so glad you didn’t let him bully you into doing anything you didn’t want him to do.
You are a strong woman. I like what I am reading about how you didn’t let that doctor do his thing. His freakin golf game can wait. I had a natural childbirth in the hospital with number one and then two home births. Good for you!
I am just disgusted and what your doctor said and attempted to do to you! At least you closed your legs- good one! I cannot believe he would try to break your water without telling you. I am due in September and will tell my husband to look out for any crochet hooks!
Your labor seems so calm and relaxed- which is just how I picture mine. I hope the next installment of your birth gets to that place. Thank you for sharing all of these details!
This is a better cliffhanger than the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy! I think that I will struggle more with waiting until Part 5 of your Birth Story than the start of the next season! Please don’t make us wait long…
Its amazing the difference communication makes isn’t it!!
My midwife broke the water after a long labor to help speed it up, but it was after a long discusssion and thoughtful response. My other 2 the bag of waters didn’t break until I was pushing. And there are women who have babies born still IN the sac!! Anyway, all the doc needed to do was value your opinion and include you in the process. Come on!!
I am really proud of you speaking up with a hook up your yahoo!!
Ugh- the ‘ol “snag your bag”. This absolutely breaks my heart, as an L&D nurse (birth center), and as a certified doula and as a mommy who has had a completely medication and intervention free bith. You and Jeremy were doing a beautiful job. I’m sorry the doc felt the need to intervene when things were perfect. If that had happened to one of my patients/ clients, I would have considered it assault (medical intervention without informed consent, or any consent for that matter). 🙁
Anyway- not sure if you have seen this before, but allow me to introduce my FAVORITE OB blog- it may prove very helpful in many ways, honest. 🙂
And congrats again on the little man! Loving the pics of Mr. Will!
i commend you! i wanted and was blessed with a drug-free labor, as well, and know how counter-cultural it is and how awful and maddening it feels when a doctor or nurse tries to sway you, looks at you like you’re nuts, or resents and tries to overide your wishes. good for you for catching it and shame on him. i hope you write him/the hospital a letter. i love your blog – excited to read the rest of the story.
What. An. A*s.
I had an episiotomy (sorry for spelling) with no discussion. I already had an epidural so the only way I even knew it happened was I heard the scissors go “snip”. At that point of my labor I didn’t really have the energy to react but I was really surprised, to say the least. She didn’t tell me when she was breaking my water either… but the “snip” stands out in my mind more vividly.
D’oh! Apparently I forgot the link. It totally seems up your alley. 🙂 It’s a good read for any childbearing ago woman.
http://nursingbirth.com/2009/04/24/the-%e2%80%9call-that-matters%e2%80%9d-phenomenon-grieving-the-loss-of-a-vaginal-birth/
Now back to your regularly scheduled blog… 😉
Oh my. Oh my my my my my.
I think Andrew would have punched him.
Kelly
hi katie! i’ve been out of the blog world for a little while … it’s so fun reading your birth story! you are quite the writer! so glad to see you, the boyfriend and will are all doing well. love and prayers to ya’ll!
ps what was candice’s favorite OB blog? i’m curious
what a rude doctor! was he your regular ob/gyn? i had a similar bad experience when i had my baby a few months ago. the doctor that did the epidural was just awful! his bedside manner was totally cold and rushed and the epidural was SO painful. even my nurse acknowledged that he was bad.
Katie, i’m a longtime reader and i LOVE your blog, but i do have to agree with magnoliatreephotography about the “tall black girl” part. i’m sure that you meant no harm by it, but that term generally has a negative connotation and i didn’t understand what relevance her race had to the story…
i’m glad everything went well and Will got here safe and sound. he’s the cutest and you guys are so blessed!
Oh my goodness… I am reading this section and I feel sickened. I am so sorry to hear that your doctor treated you like that! I had a similar first birth experience. Afterwards, I became a certified doula and had an extremely wonderful and peaceful second birth. I highly recommend that you find a caregiver who will support your choices and “normal” birthing for next time… much love to you!!!
Hey… this is my first time checking out your blog…and I love it.
Reading THIS entry, though, go me fired up enough to “reveal” myself! (No more stalking for me…) 😉
Like the rest of your readers, grrr! This doctor made me sooo mad! I was blessed to be able to have my two babies (2yr old boy & 4 mo old girl) at home, and get so upset when my friend’s tell me stories like yours. I’m glad you stood up for yourself!
Thanks for the great reads…
First time writer, long time lurker. And I am 100% addicted to your birth story. Please post more soon. KThanksBye.
I absolutely cannot believe that your doctor said he was going to “check you” and then proceeded to try to break your water. That is NOT the same thing! I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself and making your birth plan known! I strongly believe that doctors should let you be involved in the process and decision making that happens when YOU are having YOUR child.
As for the doctor saying, “You need to think about how long you are going to let this continue,” I am appalled. Women for hundreds of thousands of years have been having babies naturally, and I don’t understand why modern medicine feels the need to rush the process. As far as I can tell, you were in no distress or in any harm. Baby Will was fine. I could see if the baby was distressed, or if the labor was causing you any issues, but it seemed like it was going normally. Sometimes, labor takes many hours, even days! But unless there is a medical reason, I see no reason why it’s necessary to rush things. I hope part 5 of this story ends better than part 4. 🙂
Ohhh!! I’ve searched around and I can’t find part 5!… Where’s the rest? I want to hear how it all goes!!