I met Stephanie at a support group for girls. Actually it was a bible study that my mother led. Almost the same thing.
We read a book about becoming a good wife. At the time it was totally irrelevant…I mean, I was a junior in college and not about to get hitched any time soon. And the girls were really nice. I mean, like UBER nice. Like Reese Witherspoon nice. Totally different than my friends at school…most of who were more like Paris Hilton. Nuff said.
So one time, I told a joke. Shocker, right? Usually the moment after I tell a joke, there is this awkward second of silence and then I can’t hold it in anymore so I bust out a giggle. Yes, I am a self-laugher. So I was completely surprised when I heard a chuckle from beside me. It wasn’t a fake or weird laugh out of curtesy…it was real. I knew I fell right then and there. I must be this girl’s friend.
After a couple times of hanging out, which included taste-testing at a local micro-brewery, sunbathing, and delivering cookies to a fire station wearing this:
I knew we would be friends forever. I haven’t laughed that hard since.
Then Steph met Justin. Sweet, bold, blue-eyed boy with the darkest tan I had ever seen.
They met online. eHarmony to be exact. Strange world we live in. But as kookie as their relationship started, it ended up being one of the most caring, and patient and loving friendships that I have ever gotten a chance to witness.
Eventually, that book we read together so long ago was suddenly becoming relevant.
Not that Steph needs a book.
You see Stephanie is one of those girls that is light years older than her shell of a body. She is like Benjamin Button – except in reverse. She was born with a brain and a spirit of an old fogie. Not in the sense that she likes to sleep a lot or talk about the good old days where she walked uphill to and from school in the snow. No. That’s not her at all.
Steph is mature.
She observes the world around her and isn’t afraid to ask questions. She is an idealist of the highest degree…always striving to do the best that she can or encouraging the best out of the people around her. If something isn’t going peachy-keen…whether it be her job, or a relationship, or just LIFE, she doesn’t blurt it out right away putting her foot in her mouth…she prays about it. I mean, who does that?!? Not me…I constantly have foot-breath. I mean, complaining is so much easier!
And Justin is no different. He’s one of those men that you could only wish to marry your best friend. If Stephanie was a wise old owl, then Justin would be the oak tree that supports her. Sure, she lived in Georgia all her life but as soon as she met Justin, her zipcode changed. She moved to California with her new mate. Afterall, it didn’t matter where they lived. He was her new home.
Almost one year after tying the knot, Stephanie handed him a small box with a bow. Inside was a pee-stick. They were going to have a little baby girl.
Willow was born in November of 2008. I got the chance to meet her about a month ago…and let me tell you, she was the perfect mix of mom and dad. I absolutely adore the baby-mullet she rocks and the fact that she opens her mouth as wide as possible when she gets excited. She is basically the most expressive baby I have ever seen. She could even control her eyebrows. I have been working on that since sixth grade…and this kid can do it straight outta the birth canal.
So you might be wondering how Stephanie and Justin and even baby Willow have influenced our lives and helped us make our house a home. Probably the biggest way was through a piece of advice. Steph once told me that she believes that promising to love our family meant protecting them. And not just by keeping a fire exstinguisher nearby or pushing them out of the way of oncoming traffic. She said that the best protection that you can provide was from ourselves. WHAT?! Steph explained that protecting your children and your spouse meant shielding them from uncontrollable outbursts of anger, discouragement, and unforgiveness.
That little piece of wisdom has come in quite handy when Jeremy and I tackle home improvement projects. And although, I can’t promise that we haven’t screamed or cried when it comes to drywall or painting…we do attempt to apply the advice no matter what we do.
Oh and she got me a kick-butt teapot too 🙂
Hope you enjoyed learning a little more about our friends! If you are confused on why I post about the special peeps in our life, you can read this post to get the low-down. But for now, I would love to hear something from you. Please consider sharing…you never know who might need to hear exactly what you have to say!
What is the best piece of advice that you have ever received?
“shielding them from uncontrollable outbursts of anger, discouragement, and unforgiveness.”
Who doesn’t need this reminder once in a while? Contemplative words to be sure.
Her advice to you is great advice to others! Thanks for sharing!!
The good advice I have in mind, wasn’t even given to me! I’m an advice stealer, what can I say. My best friend received the advice days before getting married. One of her family friends said, “treat your husband like a king, and he’ll treat you like a queen.” Since hearing this, my then boyfriend proposed last year and we’re getting married in 22 days. Through the craziness of the engagement I have remembered to treat my sweetiepiehoneybunches like a king and our relationship hasn’t been better. I think it boils down to treating him how I want to be treated, the good ole Golden Rule.
“Don’t let someone else’s bad day become your bad day. Just smile and move on.”
I just read this just last week and it keeps popping into my head: What if you abandon the journey today and the peace would have come tomorrow?
You guys seriously have some great advice. I love hearing this. and I love the chills that it gives me. Yay for chicken pimples!
Keep it coming ya’ll!
XO – Katie
Katie, I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, and I have to say that I feel like I know you for reals. 🙂 You’re a super fun person, and I love that sick self-deprecating humor you have (my favorite kind)! Anyway, this has to be my favorite post to-date. I have a little boy who I love so much, and that last paragraph you wrote about protecting your family from yourself was amazing and so true. Last week the Lord allowed us to go through a trial — we had a miscarriage – and as devastating as it was, I know that it was part of God’s plan. We received so much love and support from our friends and family that I was completely overwhelmed in a good way. I never expected that…and it made me appreciate all that we do have so much more. I feel like God opened my eyes this week, and I look at my husband and son in a totally different light. It makes me want to be a better wife and mom. And I know I need to protect them from “me” a lot more than I have been. So thanks for sharing about all the special people in your life!
Foot Breath! Hilarious!
Candace – all I can say is ‘holy crap’. Seriously. I just finished crying. I am sooo sorry to hear that you had to go through this trial. It breaks my heart to even think about a loss of that magnitude. And you coming out of that with such positivity and love is…well…unreal. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers…you are a very special girl.
XO – Katie
“If you can’t pay cash, you can’t afford it”. Wise advice from dear old dad.
Katie-
I LOVE this post! This is what life is all about…relationships and the people who make your world (and you) a better place. THANK YOU for sharing. I can’t wait to hear more about the special peolpe that God has blessed you with.
Check your luggage. There is no need to haul a big suitcase around the airport. Enjoy traveling not just the desination!
Oh Dear Friend….I’m honored to be on your page and humbled by your generous, kind words. AND I about peed my pants remembering our cookie delivery to the firemen/policemen. I love you, miss you
Steph
Great post! I love hearing about your family and friends. I just received great advice yesterday.
If you live for a few years like most people won’t, in the future you will live like most people can’t. (Being frugal is important)
I’ve received lots of good advice over the past few years but the one that comes to mind right now is from a colleague. “Proactive = seen and heard. Reactive = defensive”
When I was having a tough time after I first started a new job he reminded me that it’s what you DO that people remember.
Hi Katie –
Thank you so much for your nice comments! I just found the one on my blog today….I’m not very good at keeping up with it. It’s more of my husband Josh’s thang. 🙂 Anyway, I truly appreciate your kindness and prayers. I can’t believe two weeks ago today “it” was happening. I honestly was so shocked during it all that it felt surreal. But I’m feeling MUCH better now. Of course the emotions are up and down, but I know that God makes absolutely NO mistakes. So we are trusting in Him completely. Anyway, all that to say thanks again.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend! By the way, you are very talented at all this house stuff — makes me sick a little bit. 🙂 I love doing designing and decorating, but I usually have so many ideas floating around in my head that I can’t just make a decision and pick something. Josh gets kind of annoyed at me, ha ha. Thanks for the inspiration!
Love, Candace
cool site. Keep up the great work!
Hmm… that’s a really tough one. I don’t know that I could pick just one piece of advice, but I guess remembering that the more you try to make your relationship like someone else’s the more yours will never measure up. Your relationship with your spouse is meant to be unique from any other, and that’s why it’s just the two of you in it. That may be the best piece of advice I’ve gotten that I still say to myself from time to time.
PS: That was the best advice BEFORE this. becuase I definitely need to protect my Husband, and even my Pup, from myself way more that I do. Thank for the reality shock… I really enjoy a nice punch-th-the-throat from time to time. So thanks for that.
That piece of advice has just been written in my diary. I will remind myself every day.
Thank you!!