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Bower Power

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What I say

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Do you ever feel inadequate about being a mom?  or insecure about how you look?  or how clean your closets are?  or how you act in a large group of other women?  Do you feel like you aren’t spiritual enough?  or doing enough?  or being enough?  Are you comparing yourself to other people?  people you don’t know?  people on Pinterest?  people on Facebook?  people more creative than you?  people more happy than you?  people more wealthy, skinny, organized, pretty, or better than you?

I have heard this a lot lately.  a lot of people….WOMEN….saying that they are just insecure about this or that.  something.  anything.  And I get it.  I do.  I am insecure about pretty much everything.  I second-guess my menu decisions.  I worry that someone will see the mountains of dust on my ceiling fan blades and think I am pathetic.  I get in a group of other women and instantly become a weirder, awkwarder, more know-it-all and obnoxious version of myself.  Trust me…I get it.

But here’s the thing….

and this is something that I will preach till the day I die…

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Sure, this is me being a very feminist, very girl-power, very go-go-jay-jay type right now.  But it’s so freaking true!  I have never (NEVERNEVERNEVER) met a female that I couldn’t find beautiful.  It doesn’t matter if you are overweight – someone will be jealous of your hair.  It doesn’t matter if you live in a box – someone out there wishes they had your voice.  It doesn’t matter if you have a printable with your Halloween treats – someone wishes they could have your work ethic.  Do you see what I am saying?

You are awesome.  Maybe not in every single way.  But in some way…you are the poo of awesome.  and in this analogy, poo is the best.

Lately, I have been getting a lot of compliments…over the top comments about me rocking harder than an angsty fifteen year old with a guitar.  Don’t get me wrong…I love getting compliments.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  It makes me feel like I know what I am doing.  I love when people think I have it all together.  But the honest-to-God truth is – I do not.  Not even close.  I am a thirty-three year old with neck acne.  I yell at my kids.  I fight with my husband.  My hallway (and bathroom, and closet, and laundry room floor) have about three thousand articles of dirty clothing laying on them and Will has no clean jammies so he slept tonight in a pair of workout shorts and a Ninja Turtle sweatshirt.  My kids sometimes don’t get anything green in their diets except an apple flavored lollipop.  I compare myself to my mom…my sister…my friends…my fellow bloggers…and that random nanny that always has on the cutest outfit that picks up that kid at Will’s preschool.

But you know what?  I know the truth.  Even with all those outside influences.  Even with all that inside stuff.  Deep deep down, I know I am enough.  I am enough because I can do one little thing.  And that one little thing, the only thing that really matters, the thing that is so lacking in our busy busy world and our social media frenzies is this….

I am enough because I can love others.

I hope you join me in that.  I hope you take hold of that thought….loving well.  loving radically.  loving beyond what is cool or culturally appropriate.  I hope you wake up in the morning and you focus on loving others, loving yourself and loving in actions, words, intentions, and tough situations.  I hope you love in a way that makes others question what you did.  I hope you love in a way that raises eyebrows.  I hope you love so hard for the sake of loving that people think you are weird.

THAT is when Pinterest won’t matter.  It will become a tool.

THAT is when Facebook won’t phase you.  It will become a place to encourage.

THAT is when your kids and your significant other and your coworkers won’t irritate you.  Ok…maybe they will a little…but those moments will dissolve into less who-is-right and more of what-is-right….and you know what is right all the time?  Loving those people.

I hope we women stop apologizing for messy floors or a dirty house and start inviting people in our doors.  I hope we women stop complaining about the number on the scale and we think more about the number of encouraging texts we send to friends.  I hope we women stop comparing our child’s accomplishments and start accomplishing the task of building up loving children.  I hope we women show up even with rowdy kids in tow, that we practice healthy thoughts, that we learn to say I am gonna be a super-loving-mom today and then we rock it with a figurative (or literal) cape on in pick-up-line.  That we forgive ourselves when we fail.  That we let go of our idea of perfection.  That we see ourselves accurately as a child of a King.  A true princess.  And that our beauty is not our youth, or figure, or paycheck, or accomplishments, or kids, or degrees, or houses….that our beauty lies in God’s eyes and that He has called us all to do one simple and significantly awesome thing…..

go love.

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Comments

  1. Thank you for this! It is really hard some days but you’re right we are enough!!!
    I love your blog so much, it shows a real Mom doing real things!!! Thank you

  2. Katie you gave me goosebumps. I have to share this. This is exactly what I needed today. Thank you.

    <3

  3. Too bad you don’t have a “like” button.

    And neck acne…. you’re certainly not alone on that one, lol! 🙂

  5. Thank you for that lovely post. It is so true and great to hear. It’s a compliment from you to all of us!

  9. You are so right. Thanks for the encouragement, I know I needed this today. Along with so many other women I’m sure. We as women are so hard on ourselves. We are enough.

  10. Amen. I’m thirty (ahem) something as well and just starting to realize all of this. My kids (and even my husband) don’t judge me as harshly as I judge myself. And guess what? I get more snuggles from my babies because I’m “squishy”, so maybe I need to love that squishi-ness for that reason alone! I don’t judge (or hardly even notice), the crumbs on my friends floors, I’m just grateful to be invited over. So, I’m going to stop worrying about how clean my house is for guests. Amen, Katie. Thanks for reminding us that we are good enough.

  11. Thank you for this. It is so easy to compare yourself/your life to others all of the time but I personally am trying to just realize that as long as my family is happy and healthy, how we got there doesnt really matter. Its the small things. Like giving myself a high five because my floor was just mopped and now my daughter is eating pretzels off of it 🙂 You rock!

  13. Thank you! I too have piles of dirty (and clean that have been sitting for a week) clothes. I frequently lose my patience with my children and hubby. I have dirty dishes in my sink and I lose my kids’ homework. I still haven’t gone back to my pre-baby weight and my youngest is 4 1/2! So thank you for admitting you are not pinterest perfect either. <3

  19. sigh…it’s so nice to know that others feel the same way. I got off Facebook 7 weeks ago as I was feeling that everyone’s life is/looks better, when in reality it’s not. Perhaps someday I will go back on, but for now I’m only on Twitter for important things and Pinterest because I love getting ideas!

  21. Katie, I’ve been a long time lover of Bower Power, but I’ve never commented until now. Thank you so, so much for these lovely words. On a dreary Thursday, when work is coming down on my head and my Pinterest board is making me feel crazy-inadequate, this was JUST what I needed to hear. Keep on keepin’ on!

  25. Love you, thank you for this. This is so true. Please remind me again in a month or two, heck, a week or two. God bless.

  26. Perfectly said! SO much for women to compare themselves to, its had to not strive for “Pinterest Perfection”… BRAVO KB!

  29. Thank you for your encouraging words! So often I look at social media and feel something is off, but can never quite put my finger on it. You summarized that unsettled feeling perfectly! Thanks for reminding us of the truth “…that our beauty lies in God’s eyes…”

  32. Thank you for your encouraging message, Katie! Thank you for the reminder that our purpose it to love and be loved.

  34. Beautifully said. I really need to remember this and share it with my children. Another reason I love your blog. hanks for caring to share.

  39. Perfect! This was all said perfectly. I think with the internet, Pinterest, blogs all of it. You forget you are seeing one moment, one picture, on story that they put out. Not their whole lives, no one is perfect. NO ONE. I have gotten down on myself because I am not perfect. Feeling that is she can do it so can I. But “she” or whoever is not perfect either. I have been told because of my blog, my home, whatever that I am perfect, I have it all together. I feel like I am lying, putting on a front. But I am not, it is just in that moment for whatever reason things are being perceived as good. They did not see the chaos and crazy before the party at our home, they just saw the decor and cutely dressed kids. I need to remember that everyone is that way, and hold myself up to my own standards and be happy with me. And to love. Best advice ever. If I love fully, largely, completely, my day is a success. No matter how much else went wrong.

  40. Love this Katie! I have to tell myself this a lot. We have to fight to stay on the straight and narrow path.

  41. THANK YOU! I needed to hear this today, as I know so many of us needed to hear it too! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! My heart is happy and is so grateful for those words.

    You rock, and you are enough. 🙂 You are pretty awesome too!

    Thank you again (and again)

  42. This is great. And since turning thirty I too get weird neck acne, which not even the strongest spot treatment can tackle. Life is messy and imperfect and that is ok. Bloggers, Pinners, and those on social media are often afraid to show the real them, which is a shame. Now excuse me while I go use my iPhone camera to take a photo of my non-pottery barn project for my blog :-).

    Rock on, Katie!

  45. Well written! If we could just see ourselves the way God sees us, we would know that we are enough. He thinks we’re amazing, He’s crazy about us, and He LOVES spending time with us! Thanks for the reminder!

    John Lynch says “When I wear a mask, all that gets loved is the mask”. Let’s throw off those masks of insecurity, doubt and self-condemnation and let others see the real us – perfect because He is perfect!

  46. Thanks Katie! I needed to read this today and every day. And thank you for mentioning neck acne….I have struggled with that this week too, I blame my work deadline.

  47. This is why you and your blog are awesome… You are just REAL. Thank you for share bits of your life and the things you make/do/think along the way! We all need more reminders like this in our lives!

  48. Oh my goodness, thank you for this! I cried reading it. It is so beyond helpful to hear how other women, moms, wives, etc., are going through this too. It really does serve as an inspiration to keep doing good in my life, even if I feel defeated. I’ll just be defeated with lots of love!

  49. I have never posted a comment before but I just wanted to let you know that this is the type of blog posts we all need to hear once in a while. Thank you. And praise God that he gave you perspective on how He sees us so you can share it.

  50. Katie, thank you so much for the encouragement and reminder that it’s not what we do or how we look, but it’s about Whose we are and that is enough. His love is enough for us and we should let that love overflow from our hearts on to those around us. Comparison is a constant battle, so we need to encourage and love each other as we walk through daily life.

  51. Get it, Katie Bower. GO and love others. Love as He loved. Love love lovey love love love love. Love.

  53. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I loved your words and how you said them. I needed to hear this this week as well. I am going to share, too!

  56. Rock on, Katie! Thank you for saying this, and I love you for it. I am so very guilty of this and took WAY too long to realize it. Trying to stop is a constant effort (complete brain rewires take some time) but I’m already happier for it.

  57. Amen. Amen. Amen. This is beautiful. And this is what we need so badly.

    Thanks for such an encouraging read.

  59. Yes. This. The not-good-enough, mommy-war style competition needs to stop. When did we get that way? Women in particular should be welcoming to each other, not competing. It’s hard enough out there without self-imposed feelings of competition and constant perfection. Love is the only answer 😀

  60. I so needed this today. Being a single 39-and holding girl, everyone always thinks I have all the time in the world.That life is easy. I’ve been sick for 3 days (sinus infection and STREP), and my house looks like a bomb went off. People have offered to bring me things if I need them, but today I just want, no need, a hug. Yes. I wan’t my Mommy. This post helped. 😉

    Thanks Katie.

  61. Yes!!! This is real and true and honest. Thank you! I needed reminding of this today, Katie. So, thanks for being speaking up!

  62. I love this!!! I found 1 Peter 4:8 last year, and I haven’t been able to shake it ever since 🙂

    “Above all, love each other deeply, for love covers over a multitude of sins.”

    xoxo

  64. So well written! So true! We all compare ourselves to who we think are the “super mom” but inside we all have moments where we are barely keeping our heads above water.

  66. Totally agree!! I think we all sometimes get caught up in the Pinterest trap and wonder why our lives aren’t as perfect as those pictures…truth is, their lives aren’t either!!! Nothing is perfect and that is the miracle of life. Thanks for reminding us of it! 🙂

  67. My oldest will be off to college next fall. I find myself worrying whether I’ve done enough, if I’ve taught her all she needs to know, if I have failed her in anyway. I’ve done my best and loved her hard. Guess its time to trust. Thanks so much, Katie!

  68. Yes. Thank you for being real all. the. time. THIS is why I love your blog. This and your humor. Keep being you Katie! Love ya gurl!

  70. I bookmarked this. I already have a quick link to your blog and I read it daily. But this- this wonderfully written entry- is bookmarked all on it’s own. Because I needed to read it and I need to read it again, and again, and again whenever I’m feel in meh. Thank you Katie, this was beautiful.

  73. Hi Katie, I read all your blog posts but never really comment. I really love your post today and you are totally right we all are enough and I need to stop comparing myself to others as I am enough!

  74. This really spoke to me. Thank you for posting and reminding me that I am enough. I love my boys, hubby, job, house, etc. but find it hard to not compare with others. Most of the time, it makes me feel inadequate as a mom, woman, employee, homeowner, etc. Again, THANK YOU!

  76. Thank you so much for the encouragement and truth! We are daughters of a King and you’re right he has called us to love. Thank you for sharing this awesome message.

  78. Amen! I love this. Thank you. I wish Nebraska and Georgia were closer so that we could hang out. God bless you and your family.

  80. so very true. thanks for this post. it is always refreshing to hear others willing to ADMIT to not being perfect and being OK with that 🙂 who defines perfect anyway?! i guess we each do in our own way. but being perfect to me if being happy and loving with oneself which allows for us to love others.

  81. And this is why I love you!!! I struggle with this so much…particularly in the areas of clothes, fashion, and body image! I died when I read that “pinterest says your calves need to fit into riding boots with room to spare for cute socks.” I am going to be a new mom in February and I fully anticipate the insecurities that will come with that. All this to say, that I loved this post and it is book marked to read again!

  83. Thank you for summarizing why I do not go on (and honestly don’t even get) Pinterest.

    Have you read any of Lysa Terkeurst’s books? I just finished Unglued and The Best Yest….great for uplifting busy, imperfect women and encouraging love.

  84. Great post!! I think I KNOW this in my heart, but it is so easy to forget in the face of every day life.

  85. Have you seen Moms’ Night Out? You really need to! This whole post reminded me of the ‘lesson’ amongst the funny of that movie. Trace Adkins and Sarah Drew have the most wonderful scene about this very thought. I won’t lie, I rewound and watched it again. So incredibly true.

    Sending happy thoughts and huge hugs to all of you!
    Rae

  88. I hear you, sister. Ugh. (Tip: Don’t search “wide shaft” on the internet…. )
    But I won’t apologize for my wide calves! Katie says I don’t have too 🙂

  89. Thank you so much for this!!! I have often taken breaks from Pinterest or Facebook for the sole fact that they make me feel bad. Pinterest makes you feel like you dont have enough or the right thing. It makes you feel like the curtains you have (Or in my case dont have) arent the right ones because they aren’t the right color or length or style and you need to go buy (or make) new ones, when what I already have was just fine before I got on Pinterest!!! Both sites can be awesome, but they can also be just new ways to compare yourself with others. And no one ever measures up to the highlights reel that other women are showing. I think that deep down we all struggle with insecurities. Nobody’s got it all together! Thanks for your transparency.

  90. Katie, I just started reading your blog about a month ago, and I really love how genuine you are. And, as for this post, thank you. Thank you for helping me realize that we can all be as awesome as you are if we keep in mind to just love.

  91. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for this! I preach this to others but having it said TO ME (because that’s how this post feels right now) has my eyes welled up. Thank you, thank you.

  95. Thank you so much for these words. I’ve been suffering such deep depression lately, mostly stemming from feelings of inadequacy. These words literally brought me to tears (happy ones this time) knowing I’m not alone and that I’ll be okay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  96. Spot on. Thanks for sharing these truths. Such a great reminder and such great encouragement.

  97. You need to read ‘No Other Gods’ by Kelly Minter. My bible study is in the middle of this study and it is exactly what you just wrote out. It’s about replacing all of our false gods with the one true God. Love the message in your post as well as this study.

  98. Katie, I. Love. You. I rarely comment on much but this post is amazing. I try so hard to be happy and content to be me but with soooo much pressure and influence from the stuff and places you mentioned it’s hard. Thank you for recognizing this and helping me to focus on the things that really matter. Like love. You are awesome!

  100. Yes! Amen!
    And can I just say that women critize themselves enough- we don’t need others to do it to us. I feel horrible when us women critize other women. Our role is to love and support- not judge each others or ourselves.
    I love Pinterest- it’s a tool. I love Facebook, it’s a place to encourage. I feel bad sometimes that us women think otherwise. It’s a sign of something larger.
    .

  106. I think Pinterest might be the downfall of society. Okay, that’s a bit harsh but seriously how in the world are we supposed to live and be happy if everything has to come back to being “pinable”????? Martha Stewart has a team and even they don’t always get it right!

    http://jax-and-jewels.blogspot.com

  107. Katie, thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed this today. I’m 39 weeks pregnant with my first and I’ve been a whole mess of emotions lately. I’ve been struggling with body image and fears that I somehow won’t measure up as a mom. The house is messy, the nursery isn’t finished, etc. But you’re right. It’s going to be okay because I am enough 🙂

  108. Thank you, Katie! Thank you for being real and reminding me to be real! Love God and love others. That is the most important thing!! Thanks for the reminder today!

  111. Thank you!
    I constantly feel pressure to compare myself to the boot wearing, label printing, make-up wearing, home decorating, monthly baby picture takers on Pintrest. I know I will never add up to all the inspiring pictures posted and the brilliant ideas listed, but I am constantly telling myself that my son nor my husband have a Pintrest account, nor do they care what all the other ‘moms’ look like and are doing out there. They love me for me, for the things I do for them, the mom and wife I am to them, and the love I give them everyday and that is really all that should matter.
    We women and moms are amazing and we each need to know it…..but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded by a ‘friend’ too.

    Thanks Katie! You rock.

  113. *goosebumps* seriously – awesome post! Thanks for sharing your positive encouragement! xoxox

  116. Thank you for writing this and for always being real. I feel this way all the time! Thanks for reminding us that we are enough.

  117. Hey. I am a single mom of 3 boys (8,13 & 16). I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve laid awake & worried about EVERYTHING! I’m never satisfied with how I’m doing. I need to clean more. I need to lose weight. I get so preoccupied by my shortcomings that I forget to actaully enjoy my family. Thanks for this post. I almost cried reading it. It was like you were talking to me. Love is the answer to every battle.

  118. Powerful words! A good reminder that all the social media and celebrities and comparison even blogs and all that CRAP is one giant distraction and time-suck from the things that truly matter in life.

  119. I needed this today. I’m 5 months pregnant and so hormonal & miserable. I needed to read this and learn to take a breath and think about what is important.
    If you ever wonder if you had an impact on someone’s life, today, you have had an impact on mine. Thank you! Xoxo

  121. I’m not a mom and that can make me feel even more “less” than the women around me. :/ I stopped apologizing for my “dirty house” (even though i cleaned like a fiend before someone came over) b/c my real friends are there to see me, not my house. And i remind myself everytime i log into FB- “FB is like an iceberg- you only see 10%”— and it’s the 10% they want you to see. So that girl who you hated in high school and is on your friends list? The one w/ the perfect husband, who always sends flowers, kids who are delightful in their perfectly lit, slightly off focus photos, and the farmhouse she’s occasionally renovating? De-friend her. Block her. Unless your besties, who have coffee every week… you can. You should. and if it helps (and let’s be honest, it does…) – the flowers are b/c his admin sends them b/c he works 70+ hours and is never home to help, the kids are cute in the pics but they are banned from the grocery store b/c of the “turkey incident of May 2013” and her antique farmhouse? It has mice. LOTS of mice. Be you. 🙂

  122. Hey Katie, I have been following your blog for years and have never commented. I just want to say thank you for sharing your real life with your readers. Your post today was very encouraging and uplifting. I especially loved your charge at the end to just go love on people. I need to read this everyday!! Thank you so much!

  125. Thank you, thank you, thank you for these beautiful and encouraging words. I so badly needed this as I’m exhausted (loooooooong week already) and there are piles of laundry and toys and dishes everywhere!

  127. THANK YOU!!! This is exactly what I need to see right now. It’s funny how I can try to tell myself these things, but it resonates more when it comes from someone else. I have been feeling super guilty lately about spending enough quality time with my kids and worried about if they are eating healthy enough. I try to not compare myself to others, but it’s hard not to, social media or not. Thanks again for making me feel better about what I am doing.

    “I am good enough, I am smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.”

  131. This is so amazing. By far one of the best blog posts I’ve read in quite some time. Totally rang true for me and I was nodding as I read along. <3

  133. Thank you so much for this. It’s a reminder that we all need to hear and remind ourselves of more often. Hallmark needs to have cards devoted to this so I can send them to my friends when they need a pick-me-up 🙂

  135. Thank you, so, so much for this. I struggle literally every single day with not being my version of “good enough”. Sometimes I just want to disconnect from all of this internet and just learn to love myself. I am slowly getting there, but I compare too much. It’s hard to remember that we only see a sliver of people’s lives (most of the time). I just have to realize that the only person who has ever had it “all together” is Jesus. And while I strive to be more like Him, I will never be Him. I don’t think he cares about how cute I’m dressed anyway. 🙂

  136. Agree with your words “beauty is not our youth, or figure, or kids, or degrees, or houses….that our beauty lies in God’s eyes. A great mg in your post. Thank for your valuable post.

  137. Thanks for this, Katie. Really. It’s my goal, but I even get down on myself for missing the mark on loving people. *sigh… There is certainly no shortage of reasons to give myself a hard time. BUT that’s not the point. I need to love anyway.

  141. Pinterest is a tool I use to find inspiration from what other people feel inspired to share. It is not something that I use to measure my self worth and I’m sad that we have to be reminded of these things.

    Thanks for giving us that reminder Katie and inspiring me to share with those around me that they are good enough just being themselves.

  143. Your post is the first thing I fell like I’ve read in a long time that makes sense. Thank you for putting it out there…and thanks for the poo of the universe line, I’m going to laugh all week about that 🙂

  144. Not sure if you’ll ever see this comment, but it have to write it. Thank you. This is truth, God’s truth. We are enough in His eyes and this is just another reminder for me. God used you to remind me yet again of what He is trying to teach me in my life right now and I thank you for this not of encouragement to all us girls.

  145. Out of that whole long list … well, I have a DIY blackboard! Score! Seriously you struck a chord judging by all the comments this post generated. What’s helped me the most is yoga. Even with a body nobody (even me) should see naked, I feel good about me. Hey, I can do a headstand! Almost as well as the 84 year old student in my yoga class.
    We rock!

  149. Such an important message that needs to be visited regularly. It took a long time for me to figure out that everyone has hidden self-dislikes, fears and struggles and that I wasn’t the only one. Sometimes that makes it easier, sometimes it doesn’t.

  150. I have been reading for a long time, but never left a comment. Today is the day! I have had a very hard week, grappling with a lot of these issues you mention, as well as tensions at work. This post was very encouraging, and I wanted to thank you for taking the times share your thoughts! I feel better already 🙂

  155. I read your blog regularly, but I’ve never commented before. I just really, really needed to read this today.

  159. Katie- I read your blog all the time and enjoy the wide variety of topics you share but I never comment. Just wanted to share my appreciation for your hard work on this blog and especially today’s post. Keep on being frickin awesome and inspiring others!

  160. VERY well said. I never really comment on your blog, although I read it daily. But bravo for who you are and what you stand for. Thank you for being such an encouraging and wonderful influence in the blog sphere.

  161. This is how I’ve been feeling the last few months, and this post is so eloquent. Thank you for speaking this out into the internet abyss. These tools of social media should be used for good not destruction (of ourselves and each other).

  163. The best thing about this post is that you are being a witness for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.We are daughters of the King indeed! The greatest commandment: first love God , then love others. You obviously touched a chord with women with all the comments you received. Even though I myself love to be taught from God’s Word anytime at all, some might feel you preached to them if you were too biblical. You got your message(God’s message) across in a subtle yet powerful way. Yes, we are quite enough. Not perfect but in God’s sight we are loved perfectly. And loved because He first loved us. Thank you Katie for being a light for Jesus. He is watching and will bless you for it.

  164. I’ve read your blog for years and years… you’re one of the first ones I started following, and have been one of my faves the whole time… if I only had time to check in on one blog, it was always you or John and sherry. Don’t think I’ve ever commented before…. but I wanted to say thanks. It’s posts like this that keep me coming back. When you step up on your soapbox and tell it like it is. The posts in between are great too, don’t get me wrong, but when you come out with a heartfelt post like this every once in a while- and something so encouraging- it just…. fills me up with God’s love in a way reading through the bible sometimes doesn’t. The down to earth preachin…. 🙂 Thanks Katie. Or, as i refer to you in my mind, Katie Bacon Bower. 😉

  165. hi Katie! I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this. It’s what I needed to hear today and you’ve just encouraged me to keep being me. I have three sons, two of whom are identical and autistic. It’s almost impossible to keep the house clean, but I try so darn hard. What I’ve learnt though is that you have to pick your battles. And I totally agree with you about not apologizing for having a messy house. After all it’s not just a house, it’s a home – and that’s where the real stuff happens. ;-p
    Thank you for reminding me that I am enough. God bless you and your family abundantly xo

  166. I love this. Always good to remember that loving others is what our main goal should be. I get so tired of people needing to judge others because of their own insecurities. (Pointing at me) Thanks, Katie.

  169. Katie, I am so very proud of you for seeing this truth and sharing it with others who are dancing as fast as they can to keep up with the world’s unrealistic expectations for perfection that Jesus never meant for us to burden ourselves with. He is the only PERFECT ONE who indwells all believers. Meditating on Him brings His Peace. I love you all very much and I pray for you all to fulfill God’s plan for your lives.

    Aunt Claudette

  173. Katie-i have been reading your blog for years and think I have only commented one other time. It was when you spilled your heart out just as you did today, but then it was about infertility. Today’s post was exactly what I needed to hear and is my favorite of yours… the truly heartfelt and honest ones. I love your other posts but these feel the most precious. All of your blog seems pretty real and honest but the ones that speak to me are the ones when you leave the diy and the kids out and just address society our women as a whole. Iv appreciate you and needed this more than ever. You are a beautiful person inside and out! Thank you.

  174. LOVE this! You really do seem like you have superhuman energy… like dust on your fan blades? Meh! Your house is HUGE. My house is tiny and I have dust a whole lot more places than fan blades! Also, you have three beautiful boys to look after. I only have my one daughter so far, and want but am terrified of having more. But you inspire me. I also appreciate that you do take time to be honest about life not being perfect on your blog- it is one of your great charms. You admit when you fight with your husband, but guess what, you still hold together an amazing family and clearly love the heck out of that husband of yours. You photograph messy spaces… not “messy spaces” where you think, yeah that was cleaned up before the “messy pic” was taken, but real spaces that get messy.

    I don’t comment often, but I loved this post. And I just love your blog. Found it ages ago through YHL- your two blogs were the only two I consistently read- now I’m down to one! :-p I know you won’t be around forever, but I hope you have many years of blogging left in you because reading your blog is one of my joys, ways to decompress, ways to get motivated, etc. etc. etc. Thanks for keeping it real- not perfect (though I seriously get intimidated sometimes with how much you juggle!) but real. I have quit many blogs that were too “perfect” for my reading taste.

    You are awesome. And enough. And I need to remember that I am too. 🙂

  178. Yesterday I sat in rush hour traffic for 55 minutes (17 mile trip) and just BAWLED because I started to buckle from the pressures of my increasingly demanding job, the desire to sell my depreciated-value home, and the desire to be with my 8-month-old all. day. long.

    So, what I’m sayin’ is, girl I SO needed to read something like this. Thank you.

  181. I couldn’t agree more! It is so easy to get discouraged by blogs and thinking there are all these women out there who have it all together…and I’m doing good if I don’t have peanut butter/bodily fluids on my shirt by 10am (I have 2 under 2). I was actually thinking the other day after reading a post here “wow, how does she do it all?!” I so appreciate your honesty and bluntness. I think the internet/our society would do well with more of it. And it would most definitely improve if we act on Christ’s call to love our neighbor as ourself. Thank you for not limiting yourself to only DIY posts and being faithful to speak truth.

  182. Katie, I read your blog every day and I just wanted you to know how incredibly grateful I am for you and your blog. This post is exactly what I needed today. I am so overwhelmed trying to be everything for everyone and I need to remember that the only really important thing that I need to do is love
    Thank you!

  183. And that very post is why I read your blog regularly and really wish we were friends in real life. Thank you!

  184. This will live forever for me, and it’s one of the best things you’ve ever written:

    I hope we women stop complaining about the number on the scale and we think more about the number of encouraging texts we send to friends.

    Thank you, KB.

  185. Thank you for this reminder. Praying that God’s love for you can be your strength for loving others. xx

  187. Thank you for such an uplifting post! I joined a bible study at my church based on the book A Confident Heart by Renee Swope and it’s about doubting ourselves. I was expecting maybe 30 ladies but there’s 100 of us…I think most women are really struggling with this. Thank you for sharing your heart and reminding us to focus on Jesus.

  189. This is my first time commenting because this post 100% resonated with me!! And it made me feel like I need to share this with every woman I know!! Thank you for your honesty!

  191. That’s exactly what I was going to say! I read the blog regularly but it’s my first time commenting because that was WHAT I needed to hear today! What a blessing! I loved, thank you!

  195. Thank you Katie!! This is just what I needed to hear. You are truely the best! Thank you for being you always!

  197. Thanks for putting what so many of us feel into words. Great reminder to start my day.

  198. I read your blog every day, Katie, and I loved this post. Here, here!

    So I was just wondering why you haven’t commented on Young House Love’s leaving. I know it was hard for me (I just love them so. much.). I don’t want to be rude or anything, just wondering! I know that you guys are good friends, so… yeah. I hope that you guys stay in touch! Love you both 🙂

    Sarah

  199. Thank you!!!! I find myself caught in the comparison trap daily. I do my best to stop and try to remind myself of the blessings God has given me when I start feeling jealous or inadequate. Social media certainly doesn’t help, does it? Thanks for sharing from your heart. 🙂

  200. Unreal.

    Over a year ago I stopped blogging and reading most blogs. Why? For many of the very reasons you’ve mentioned above. Instead of motivating me to be productive and the best version of myself, the blogging sphere and Pinterest world was bringing me down to my lowest. I couldn’t stop comparing myself, beating myself up, and falling for self inflicted pressures to be better. So I had to walk away from something that had brought my family and I so much joy originally.

    Today, after all that time, I decided it was time to give it another go. Telling myself with a different approach I could love it again. And what do I find as I sit down to catch up on the online going-ons? This beautifully honest summary or my fears, struggles, and resolution all wrapped into one.

    My sincerest thank you.

  201. I enjoy your blog most because I find you to be incredibly real when you post. Thank you for this beautiful message.

  203. Ditto to so many of the other comments. I read your blog daily but never comment. Thanks for reminding us all this. YOU ARE ENOUGH is a popular phase that I keep hearing lately — and I know I need to absorb that… we all do. Thanks for always sharing so honestly.

  206. this is seriously beautiful. well written, coming from the heart, inspired, passionate, etc. i agree, 1000000%. thanks for this, because, i think even though i do feel EXACTLY the same way, you put yourself out there, inspired others, made others feel good about themselves, and best of all, you were real. realness, and an unguarded way of living, along with love, are truly the most beautiful things we can do. xo.

  208. Absolutely, positively love it!!! Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel and the reminder that I am enough!!! Keep doing what you do best, Katie!! Love your blog!!

  210. Katie,

    That was so well written and so powerful. Thank you. It completely resonates with me.

    I know that some people think I love my boys too much, baby them, do too much for them. My own mother in law consistently tells me to “cut the apron strings” and to “make them learn.” She questions my genuine admiration for my children, raises her eyebrows at the way I lovingly treat them, and criticizes my parenting for being too clingy. She never compliments us for the job that her son and I are doing raising our children. But she is not the mother I aspire to be. My boys are my treasures, and every day, I will let them know how much they are loved. In this harsh and many times cruel world, I cannot understand why she, and many other people, hold back their love (from their own children!) by not giving them attention and praise, not hugging and kissing them, not talking to them, not teaching them just by involving them… My boys are amazing, thoughtful, considerate, intelligent, and curious boys. I am so proud of who they are, and who they are becoming. I know they wouldn’t be this way if I had the attitude of my MIL. I am so far from perfect that it sometimes hurts, but I know I do one thing well – love my children with everything I am.

    Thank you for your awesome blog!

  211. Katie, I’ve followed your blog for a few years now and this is the first time I’ve commented. Thank you so much for your words! I am a mom who suffers from fibromyalgia and endometriosis and sometimes it’s hard to just get out of bed. I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough or giving enough or being enough. We all have to remember that just being ourselves is such a beautiful thing. We are precious in His sight.

  212. Amen! Thank you so much for sharing this! I whole-heartedly agree with everything you said. My own crazy thoughts of insecurity, self doubt, and comparing myself to my perception of others’ success has almost caused me to quit on my dreams…interior design, blogging, and I absolutely refuse to use Pinterest. But God knows me better than I know myself, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so I will continue to press on and follow my dreams! Thank you for being transparent and keeping it real!

  216. You’ve already received a ton of comments and this isn’t the most recent post so I doubt you’ll see this, but I just wanted to say that I really loved this post. Too often female friends of mine complain about how pinterest and facebook make them feel. For me, Pinterest is an amazing tool, visual bookmarks. But, I don’t pin stuff to a “Dream House” board that is full of things only a celebrity will be able to afford. I think staying realistic when looking at pinterest and facebook are important so that instead of dreaming of what if, you can be happy and in love with what is. I just wish more people realized that they are enough, exactly how and who they are.

  218. You are a true inspiration….a post like this comes from a heart filled with god’s love and truly helps others!

    Thanks you!

  220. Thank you for this. I think all of us women need to hear this frequently. We are enough. No one is perfect, even though they may try to make us think they are. I love and hate Pinterest for this very reasons..
    Much love.

  221. Katie,

    I read your blog on a regular basis and always find you encouraging and yes we all find ourselves comparing our lives to someone else’s. That being said today as many others have stated I needed this, my lovely other half and I are going through a lot personally and financially (happens when you plan on moving 3 states away) and I have found myself comparing our lives to others more regularly than I ever have before. He tells me all the time we are going to be fine and we are amazing but honestly sometimes hearing it from another woman is what we need as women. We do need to encourage others and remember that sometimes it may not seem appreciated but you NEVER know when the text, email, picture or phone call is exactly what someone needed that day. So from the bottom of my heart I want to Thank You for being so encouraging of other women accepting themselves as they are.

  223. I LOVE this. As others have commented, it was much needed. I’m a new mom and find myself feeling inadequate because I haven’t lost my baby weight, because Ramen noodles have become my go-to dinner option, the list goes on and on.

    As a dedicated reader/follower of your blog, this is the first time I’ve commented because I just had to say thanks!

  224. Hi Katie, I’ve been following your blog weekly for several years now but have never commented. I was searching ideas for our new staircase, clicked on something you’d posted, and randomly found you and your lovely family. I appreciate you sharing your design ideas, making me feel like a friend, your humor, honesty, encouragement, and keeping it real. Don’t tell my boss, but I reserve Friday for checking in with the Bowers. Thank goodness for those screen darkening only I can see it protector thingies!

  227. I rarely comment. But wanted to let you know that I really needed this post today after a long, tough week. Thanks for being so candid and encouraging! As a 31 year old with an almost 2 year old now living back with my parents (we couldn’t sell our house before moving back to Atlanta and are still searching for one here), it helps to remember to stop comparing myself with others, including my 20 year old vision on what my life would be like in my 30s.

  228. I have also been reading your blog regularly for several years and don’t think I have ever commented. I love your creativity, fun-loving and encouraging spirit, humor, and most of all your honesty. Thanks for sharing yourself and your family with us and for this post. Such a great reminder!

  231. Hi Katie – I’m a long time reader who rarely comments (sorry!) but I had to stop and tell you this post was beautiful. My mom and I were just talking about comparison and why we care what other people think of us and what the Bible says about it all this morning. Ultimately, my worry of what others think is holding me back from my dreams and the life I want to live. Your post reminds me that as long as I love others and stay true to myself, it shouldn’t matter what others think! Thanks again.

  234. I guess I thought about it and am completely bummed that their blog is gone for now…I am an original superfan…but she is still my best friend and we still get to talk and share our lives, kids pics, and home improvements with one another…so for me it’s bittersweet. The end of the blog but not the relationship. I know most people aren’t in that same situation where they keep getting the Petersiks in their life, so I don’t wanna rub salt in a wound either. I might come out with a public statement but this was a personal decision for them and I support them either way.
    xo – kb

  235. Well this post certainly makes me love YOU more. 🙂 It is a great reminder, Katie. Bookmarking this now so I can read it whenever I need that reminder.

  237. This brought tears to my eyes. I am a teacher and this applies so much to my struggle this year. I have been sharing with my other teacher friends! Thank you for giving voice and personality to this much needed message.

  238. Love this message! Thank you for sharing.

    I also love the Abundant Mama project (abundantmama.com, I’m sure you’ve heard of her!) – she repeats a similar message throughout her blog and I love when I find myself there, reminding myself to cut the comparisons and that I am enough!!

  239. ” I get in a group of other women and instantly become a weirder, awkwarder, more know-it-all and obnoxious version of myself.”

    Yes!!! I am so glad to know that I am not the only one. I like to think that I am nice and easy going but then, the above happens and I feel like I did not represent myself well. Thank you for this post!

  245. You are all beautiful and doing as much as one can; there is ni guilt in this: only love!

  248. I love this! It is so true. While I enjoy pinterest for the ideas and inspiration that it can give me, I also don’t hold myself up to it’s standards. We need to give ourselves a break. We need to allow ourselves to enjoy the moments we shine as well as those when we feel like we falter. Because as you said… We are enough.

    J~

  252. I love this! Thanks for the reminder….it was just what I was needing!

    Have you heard the new song called “I’m Enough” by The Mrs. band? It’s exactly what this post is all about!

    Have a good week Katie!

  253. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I feel stretched thin many days. Very thin. And then I look at our house that we’ve been in for 2 years that has a lack of furniture and blank walls and screams 1990 and I let that bother me. I keep reminding myself that “comparison is the thief of joy” and while I love social media, reading blogs, etc., I do something think if I stepped away, I’d be able to better focus on all the wonderful things I DO have instead of what I wish I did. We have a healthy marriage, two healthy kids, and food on our table. We have deep faith and are giving life our all. Please know that I appreciate you being so candid. So encouraging. Thank you for wearing your heart on your sleeve, Katie. Muwah!

  254. Best post ever and I have just come to realize this at 38! After having two kids back to back, my body really changed which sent me in to an insecurity I’ve never had and it weaved it’s way in to every area of my life. Now, I can say that love and being “us” is the most important thing in God’s eyes. After all, He created us in His own perfect way! Well said.

  256. I really love this and it’s so true! Instagram makes me feel the most inadequate. At the end of the day I really wouldn’t trade my life or those I love or my kids, husband, family, etc. for anything so I’m not sure what I get so down about…We could really just use some more money but couldn’t everyone!? Love your blog thanks so much for writing this!

  257. This was so wonderful to read, thank you for the reminder! It’s good to have that reality check every now and then. Love your blog 🙂

  258. Thank you, Katie Bower! I have read your blog for years, following you and your family, but this is the post that made me come out of lurkerdom. What amazing, wonderful, inspiring words!

    As a mom who constantly worries about being “enough,” I needed this.

    Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! XOXO

  260. Thank you!!!! I love that you wrote this. “I am enough because I can love others.” Period. End of discussion. I will say this to myself the next time I get angry with the piles of clothes on the bedroom floors or when I serve pasta with butter for dinner. I will open my doors and invite friends in and not worry that they are judging me by my old furniture or piles of papers on the kitchen counter.
    Thank you!!!

  263. I’ve noticed lately that a lot more bloggers are putting positive energy out there and applaud that. I think it’s better to build people up then tear them down. Glad you’re spreading the positive vibes for others!

  265. Ohhh how I needed this! I have a little art business I do that has been totally neglected lately. Because of love. Love for my husband, family, and dear friends who all have things going on in their lives that are SO much more important than making sure I’m marketing on Instagram or painting the perfect watercolor image. I can’t right now. Days will pass without much happening. But it’s okay. Because I’m too busy making phone calls to check in on people, daydreaming with my husband, and dropping off loaves of pumpkin bread because I’m too poor to take friends out to dinner. I am loving and I could do better at it, but it is exactly what I need to be doing.

  266. amen, katie! this may not totally apply to you like it does to me since i work in a hospital (i’m a non-clinical person, but still)…if the PLAY “wit” ever comes to your area, you must see it. there’s a movie version with emma thompson that is also good, but the live play version is incredible. there’s a scene in it that absolutely echos what you’re talking about in this post in regards to loving people. i teach new employee orientation at the hospital and we talk about our mission, vision, values, etc, and i support those things, but i tell my new employees none of that matters if it doesn’t start with a heart of loving people and desiring to serve them. as a christian, i am so thankful that i get to share His love with the people in my class. when i saw this post i had to comment. i don’t think i’ve ever commented before, but YES! love people!!!!

  267. Beautiful!!! I’m so glad I clicked through to older posts and came across this today! You have an amazing way with words – thank you for writing this 🙂

  269. Katie,
    Thank you for this post! It is exactly what I needed to read today! I hadn’t read any of the blogs I normally follow in awhile, and have been steering clear of Pinterest because of the pressure from society to do more and be more all of the time. Thank you for the reminder that I am enough! Loving is truly the most important thing to do, and I am so glad there are people like you to keep that message going when it gets lost so easily! Best blog post ever 🙂

  271. Love this post. the last few weeks I have been thinking about what it means to love others now… not just when my house is clean or wham I finally get it together but in the messy and in the ugly and in the beauty that all this really is.

  272. I just want to say thank you for this post. I really think that our most important role in life is to love others and I think so often I forget that. It’s so good to have a reminder. So thank you for putting good positive messages out there. Bless you!

  273. Thanks so much for this, I really really needed it. This is something I struggle with so much…thanks for some encouragement

  275. I have kept this writing in my inbox for a few weeks so I could read it over a few times.
    I thought it was a very compelling read….very raw and directly honest.
    I plan to print it off for my girls who are about your age.

  276. I’ve bookmarked this blog post and I re-read it often. I think it is real, honest & beautiful. Thank you for promoting this type of woman! I think it is what we should really strive for – not the “perfect Pinterest mom” or the “perfectly manicured woman” – just an honest, good, loving woman. Thanks for verbalizing these thoughts. It’s very powerful and not said often enough. Thanks Katie for being a little piece of the internet I always love being a part of 🙂

  277. Hey. I am a long time reader, but first time commenter (and I just realized that outside of the blog/pinterest/facebook world those people are completely creepy)! I have forwarded this post, referred to it over and over again, and came to it tonight when I needed to know that I am enough. Thank you for this post. It is one of those time when words just hit home and I know I am loved!

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